Jump to content

Question of the week: What's your favourite quote?

everydayart

Members
  • Content Count

    15
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

26 Excellent

About everydayart

  • Rank
    New Member

Recent Profile Visitors

394 profile views
  1. Hi again everyone! Thinking of making this a every tenth day journal or even a monthly one, as I'm struggling a bit with my internet addiction and want to be away from it unless I have some super important stuff to do Well, past my 20 days of non-gaming now. That bit has gone great so far, internet as mentioned above is a bit harder, easy to get a full day ruined by thing I "have" to research. Will try to use Freedom and Leechblock. even more, managed two days of no internet activity. Also found this great article named "How to Stop Wasting Your Energy" by Scott Young (I read his stuff about learning pretty often now days - super highly recommended). Great simple points about focusing ones energy and thinking long-term. Other than that I don't have much to report right now, also going to bed in 5 minutes. But I will make a more extensive post the next time I write. I will be moving to a new city in just two days, and will have lots of new routines and stuff to set up so not much web time for a while. New beginning. Take care everyone and make each day count!
  2. For me it has been about lots of thing over a long period of time. So not sure I can give good isolated advice. But as Cam has mentioned, meditation is very powerful because you get to see moods, emotions and thoughts come and go. So that is a great tool if you dedicate time to it. Some meditation practices are about just letting go of whatever comes up inside (in you mind) you or outside (the physical world), and that is a skill you can get better at. Moving on and looking a bit more objectively on the world. That said, I don't use it that often, I have gravitated more towards the below approach. But meditation can be super powerful with long term practice. Then there's also philosophy and general expansion of you experiences and references that can alter your mind sets in all kinds of ways and has helped me get out of my head more. It's a hard subject for me to give any concrete advice. Because new pieces of information are like small building blocks I use to build up ways of behaviours, though and knowledge, and there and billions of pieces that one can explore. So maybe the advice would be read more (autobiographies, history, studies about different cultures and behaviors, and non-fiction in general) and think about what you read, and you brain will expand it's references and perspectives, which can make it easier to relate to real-life in lots of different ways. Also at the same time experience lots of different situations in the real-world, as some of them will get you out of your head more, because you will not have time to think as much. Often what i have thought was scary before hand, has been much less so irl, or I have at least been able to handle it in some capacity.In time beliefs, things hat seems super important or scary etc. Can maybe be put more into perspective. Second guessing my own beliefs time and again also helps me explore new things, and being less afraid and stuck in my head. As a example, I used to feel super lonely and depressed often as I was young, and also had some later year depressions because of other reasons. I told myself lots of stories in my head about how things where. But being able to learn more about different ways of life, culture, values and how the world works or has worked has helped me focus less on the storytelling, and more on being curious on all that is out there. Which also helps in social interactions (at least most of the time ;)). Hope there was something useful in there, take care
  3. That can be one approach to just learn to talk to girls in the beginning, but I would move on from it if possible (just my opinion). It a method based a bit more on quantity of interaction, and is only focused on ones own ego (as most games are about winning) as I see it. I would modify it into skipping the whole gaming bit and see how good quality interactions one can get with people (getting out of ones comfort zone and being nice to all kinds of strangers, see them as individuals they are, and skip the statistics, you never know what situations and possibilities open up). OK, so now I am going into yet another long free-flow rant, that hopefully can be of use to someone, it will be a bit messy as usual Having daily interactions and conversations, and growing together through the good and bad with a person is very different from short interactions where one only wants to make someone laugh, or get a quick date. As I see it, in the long run if wanting to meet a partner (AND forming a more or less healthy relationship), there are other types of skills that are very valuable (and good if one starts to practice, think and act upon early). For example: learning to relax whatever the outcome, and not trying to manipulate people for the sake of a certain outcome, be able to relate to other human beings (empathy), and showing integrity as a person (stand for your values, try to live the life you believe in). Developing those skills will make establishing and sustaining a relationship easier, but will also help much to meet people because they are valuable skills to possess. The good thing is that with reflection, those skills can develop while learning to meet people, dating and having relationships, so it's not something that can be done as isolated practice before meeting people, but it's skills that get developed more the more life experience you get, and if you use that experience in constructive ways to learn form. Experience is as I mentioned before the best teacher in my opinion salted with some reflections on how one can improve. Again, I have made heaps of mistakes of all kinds. But I don't think mistakes are to be avoided at all costs as they sometimes teach in a very profound way. Be happy to make mistakes, because you know that you are trying, and maybe you get insights no one else has because you get to experience the situations first-hand I have no short way of describing it, but here is a example of what I mean with a quality connection to a person (and what I strive for in a relationship with a girl): When you are able to connect with a person and both to open up deeply to each other, starting to really share life experiences and activities (things they only have shared with people close to them, thus you get a better understanding of their life choices), having engaged discussions, and feeling at ease with each other without any games, trivial judgements, and being able to grow together and as individuals at the same time. Sometimes those connections can come with people super fast (if both dare to be vulnerable and honest), and sometimes they build up with time. Never underestimate the value of finding shared activities, or just meeting new people by trying out new things You never know when you will find those kinds of social bonds that might develop in to something more: But one needs to get out more, find ones right environments where one will find people to approach (different environments have different kinds of people obviously with different goals, values etc). All this being said, I am a very introverted person myself most of the time, but have my phases where I get into social environments and have the energy to interact a lot. Usually I prefer having one or two persons in my surrounding (friends or girlfriend) who I am very close to. Usually I am super social in bursts, and then spend most of my time with my girlfriend and one or two other close friends or alone. Because that works with my energy levels. So yeah, there's some of my morning thought on the subject Have a nice day everyone!
  4. I can share a bit of my perspective as a guy who was unkissed until the age of 21 and really missed having a girlfriend, but have had meet some great girls since then. For me the problem was that I mostly spent time only inside (both physically in my room and inside my head), and the only way to build confidence in anything, the way I see it, is to get real-life experience, just practicing and putting yourself out there. @Paul A. Advice are good but don't focus on it to much as there as oceans of advice and many ways to be social and make contact. But here are some advice to maybe start out with: Maybe the core advice would be the cliched "be yourself and believe in yourself" when interacting with people (male or female), so the more confident you become in how you want to live life the easier it is often to interact with others, so develop different part of yourself that you want to develop, and people will begin getting attracted more and more. Also thinking about girls as just other humans who also have needs to interact and get to know people is healthy (and not to think of girls as some alien creatures). If you pay attention and are really interested in wanting to get to know someone you will probably observe lots of signs with time and learn a lot, and mistakes are a part of that. And you can start from there, not getting drowned in all the advice tactics and over-complications that are theorized out there. Work with getting out of your comfort zone, work on finding out things your want to do with your life, and find some environments where it's easier to meet people (where you maybe share some interests), or if you see someone needing help, help then and then maybe try chatting a bit In the end I think you experiencing life and learning to handle the rejections is the key, and along the way you will probably find your own way of meeting girls and getting a girlfriend. But it can be hard, and uncomfortable, and at the same time fun, and exhilarating. Mistakes and embarrassments can become fun memories also, and just makes us human. I have done so many mistakes in social interactions, but that is how I have learn to socialize over time Sorry if my post was all over the place, but hope you understood a bit about what I tried to convey
  5. Super sweet challenges! Your journal has a distinct and fun flavor Keep it up! BTW. Love all the images you post with your texts.
  6. @Sashiku Thanks for the heart warming post! Hope things turn out great for you as well, I have started reading your journal There are so many sincere life stories and so much support. A really good web environment.
  7. Hi again everyone! You can read my introduction here. So it's time to begin writing my journal. I will update about once a week or when I feel I need to, because I try to stay away from to much internet time, unless I am actually learning something specific or need to do something that requires the net. Trying to build the habit of being intentional with my actions as often as possible. I have been game free for 10 days now after my latest relapse for a month this summer. It's only in this last year I have really started to take every aspect of wanting to change my life more seriously, I think much of what has tripped me up so many times in the past, is that I have wanted to find a way to keep games as a "balanced" part of my life, and I was also afraid that it offered something I would not find in any other way. But finally I understand gaming must be let go off in order to see what a completely alternative way of life could be. No half-measures. So what have I been doing these 10 days so far instead of gaming? I will link to some of the concepts and tools so that hopefully they will be of use to someone. Been brushing up on basic math at Khan Academy.Spent time with my girlfriend.Worked through all the Respawn-material (Thanks Cam, great resource and well worth the investment of money, even though I was a bit unsure at first :))Learning to ride a bike. It was one of those things that I missed out on when gaming, and I have been ashamed of it for a long time.Been working on my Commonplace Which is a fantastic information gathering and processing tool I recommend to anybody who want to learn more efficiently (just read about it in the link). I use Zim Desktop Wiki for my commonplace (some use Evernote or the like).Gotten admitted to a university this fall, and also acquired a student room. So some time has gone into packing, looking up info and preparing stuff.Trying to get my body in better shape by taking about a hour long walk each day and using lot of material from this channel covering joint mobility moves, body-weight exercises etc.Trying to build a lot of habits like taking microbreaks, watching videos in x2-speed and always taking notes or processing what I have taken in. I am using Habitica to track my habits, but skipping the gamification features mostly, but enjoying the social features of the site.So the days have swooshed past very quickly so far, and I get more and more ideas I want to work with or things I want to do or try. Even if I have a super slow day, nonconstructive moods, or low energy, it feels good knowing that I am slowly trying to do something with long-lasting benefits instead of just gaming for instant gratification. Know I know what activities I need to be working with, so I return to them over and over again. And it's better to sit and just be doing not much than to try to return to gaming, random internet browsing or other on demand entertainment. Just getting a breather between activities and letting my mind calm down. Compared to past experiences in trying to cut down/away gaming this has by far been to most focused attempt. Which I attribute mostly to great tools here from Game Quitters, some built up motivation from past experiences, and being in a more social environment than usual. Hope this post was of some use to someone and not just a long rant Take care!
  8. @Joba No problem, hope it works out. There are so many systems to try for balancing time and effort, my problem is that I might change systems to fast (partly out of curiosity), but I guess the key is sticking to them for a longer time and really evaluating if they work. I also saw that Cam made a video of the time calculation mindset just some 1 ago, it was great that he mentioned the same thing in a video :).
  9. Welcome You've come to the right place. There's links to lots of great tools here, and lots of supportive people with all kinds of gaming backgrounds. I second what Daniel said above, just stick to working with the tools that are available
  10. Hi Joba! I am right into my second detox attempt. And I use lots of different tools to motivate myself to focus on certain activities and not others. So I thought maybe I could share one of the more simple ones (a simple calculation I made of compounding time that I wrote into a sentence) that really helps me understand how time adds up over the span of a life time. It might seem extreme maybe, but that is the point to reflect on life as a whole, and what can be done with it, taking myself out of those temporary urges to do something everyday that I maybe should not do. So here it is: "Just by not surfing randomly 1 hour a day I save over 18,000 hours in 50 years to do something else with." That is a lot of time! I reflect on the sentence and on how many skills I could master, or other things I could do instead, trying to find activities that give me benefit and pleasure both in the short and long run, just by changing what I do with one hour a day. Maybe cutting the chat room to 2-4 hours a week would be a good compromise (Sundays prehaps?), not denying yourself the activity that is rooted in a creative interest. And also not doing it too often so that you really enjoy it that one time a week. I am trying a similar scheme for podcasts on Sundays, trying to be overall more creative and active in other pursuits over the rest of the week. Also, as Cam talks about in his different videos and Respawn, you need to replace the habit with something else equally interesting or even better. Then you won't have time to miss those chat sessions as much. Hope the above made some sense
  11. @usernameforworldpeace! Thanks I will make my journal a weekly thing mostly (will begin this weekend), trying to focus all of my time on activities right now and keep my internet usage pretty limited. @SpiNips Hej Nice to be here too!
  12. I highly recommend The Complete PBS Off Book Playlist on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLC3D565688483CCB5 It's a documentary series made in 58 short episodes by PBS (about 5-9 minutes each), that describe lots of modern, huge or fringe cultural movements, arts, technologies and activities combined with more classic creative endeavors. Each episode is like a small portal into a complex world with it's own rules, informative, concise and professionally made (great if you want to research more afterwards or pick up a new interest). Just a few of my favorites episodes so far (I am currently going through all of them, watching together with my girlfriend and discussing each episode and writing down ideas for projects): The New Rules of Robot/Human SocietyThe Art of Portrait PhotographyAre YouTubers Revolutionizing Entertainment?Seeing Beyond the Human EyeHow To Be CreativeI recommend to start watching from episode one and forth. Some of the episodes contain a bit similar content but from a different perspective.
  13. Thanks! Respawn has been great resource so far, the worksheets are really useful. Working through Chapter 5 right now, taking my time with each worksheet, returning to them multiple times to get new insights and fill in additional ideas and toughts.I will set up a simple journal before the end of the week
  14. Hi everyone! Did not know if I should post this small text wall in a journal or here as a presentation. Well, here goes… I’m a guy from Sweden nearing 35 years of age, with a heavy lifetime gaming habit that I am trying to get rid of. I bought the Game Quitters Elite pack 3 days ago to make my most sincere effort yet to begin a new life, step by step, because I can not play games in moderation in any sense of the word. Worth mentioning is that I also have a easy time getting addicted to other things such as the Internet, binging on movies/t v-series and other digital entertainment. I have been gaming since I was about 4 years old. It began with a Atari home console that I used to play on alone and sometimes with my Mother (she liked it because the controls where simple for most games, just one button and a stick if I remember correctly, that was the first and only console she played). After that I have owned most consoles and some gaming dedicated computers. Mostly played by myself my first gaming decade until gaming became a bit more social for me. Up until my mid twenties I was content with blowing time, energy and money on gaming. I literally played through thousands of games (done some lists now and then to keep track). But... This has lead to some heavy opportunity costs in many other areas of my life (which I did not realize when I was young), and I have steadily developed a lack of willpower for other things, and heavy procrastination habits. I started to recognize that it was a problem at 27 and that life had more to offer. Today when I play I always feel disappointed with myself that I haven’t gotten further since those realizations and not taking hold of all the opportunities and privileges I have been given in life, making something better of myself. I also have a lot of projects I want to work on in my own pace, but I have seen year after year just disappear. Thinking about doing those projects, instead of acting on them, and just spent time on yet another digital entertainment experience. Sometimes running into pretty heavy depressions. Always justifying yet another game, random Internet session or movie binge. One of the many reasons I have gamed is to focus my attention on something concrete in a world that to me has seemed to tough and overwhelming at times. And that in combination with lots of the enjoyment I got from digital adventure experiences has kept me going for far to long. Also I am a fairly introverted and need time alone now and then to regain energy, which has made gaming yet another easy alternative. The last two-three years I have been able to counter the gaming and entertainment addiction gradually a bit more. Trying to challenge myself in different areas (traveling for the first time to Asia, reducing my possessions to merely a backpack and some extra bags with art materials, meet a great girl friend at a art school, more systematically begun to eat better and move a bit more). So beginning this year I managed to go without gaming for half a year (and that felt great), but I relapsed after watching all the 2016 E3 game conferences this June and began playing games on my computer (giving all kinds of justifications for the behavior as usual). So for a month now I have been gaming and falling back on old habits. But now I have deleted my accounts to all gaming services (again), and all games are deleted. I am also trying to put heavy restrictions and form new habits to counteract my other heavy addictions to the Internet and entertainment that took over a bit when gaming was not a option. So this is my latest attempt, and I am very optimistic that this time I will get the ball rolling to really create a new life. Focusing more on creativity, learning and experiencing life first-hand, and less on consuming entertainment to feel good and live in alternate realties. I am here to find a community that I can turn to in those times things feel extra though, and also to maybe be of some help in some way. Thanks for letting me be part of what seems to be a great forum and a excellent movement, and hope you survived the rant
×
×
  • Create New...