NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
Dannigan
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Posts posted by Dannigan
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Had to stop my sewing to say, "Good to see you back at the forums, @karabas.
Now, back to my sewing.....
~ Dani
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17 hours ago, info-gatherer said:
lol no worries I’m fine ;) I know what depression is, this thing I’m having now is nothing in comparison. I choosed that memory to remark that now I feel better.
Writing has nothing to do with 1 advertising 2 career 3 art. It’s just narration, and a craft. It’s saying things. And it’s useless too. It’s ok. Now, I don’t know if I am going to write a good book or a bad one, but that is not related to my job. I don’t want it to be part of a job. I mean, yes I could work as a journalist or some other kind of demential job again, but that has nothing to do with writing and is not what I expect to be much fulfilling in my life.
Disclaimer: I respect you and appreciate your help.
Oh thank God. Ok, I was just checking in on you.
And now I understand what you mean by 'writing', from your perspective. I respect that. Writing is supposed to be inspirational to you and 'flow', not to be harnessed by the demands of a job that dictates what you 'ought' to write. Nothing less than a 'caged bird' feeling, that's my guess.
I am glad you are still carrying on, though. Cheers! :)
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A nice start to a new journal @zeke365. Different addiction, but same type of goal as before.
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Awesome pictures, @Arch. You have a knack for photography.
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On 4/30/2018 at 3:05 AM, Arch said:
Day 48,
Didn't do much today. I've decided to hold off on this HSP search I've been obssessing over in favour of testing out if I can learn and train myself without coming from the weaknesses of a label. I think it's more accurate if I focus using exposure exercises to things like my Social Anxiety and stress to figure out what I'm made of instead of excusing myself to a convenient label.
This is a very good point.
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What an incredible start to a new journal. I really like the topics you'll be covering too, especially the 'memories'. Looking forward to reading your adventures.
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18 hours ago, TheCrystalLake said:
Thank you for taking so much time reading and answering me. I have been in a mix of being too busy and then at once being very tired so i didnt visit my journal ;)
Well, i hope at some point i wont miss my gaming clan anymore. Actually i had even 2 gaming clans lol. One which had a server and a real clan structure and for which i did a lot of organisation and stuff in my free time. I also spend a lot of free time in anticheat communities as well since the heroingame had a real big problem with cheaters and i wanted to help my clan and be the one with the best knowledge. So i felt pretty useful when in real life everything was failing. This clan i dont miss that much, i miss what i did there and the feeling to be useful to a group but not really the people. Then there was my other clan which was just a bunch of funny people without structure and who were really good players. When we joined a server all together we usually would get all banned cz of this. I miss this thing of having a group and yes a bit i also miss of pawning the noobs in the server all together. Cant change it ._. I think its just the same with every addict, who has to change his/her environment and loses a lot of friends (being it real ones or only addiction related ones) so yes, we all lose something at this point. I think with building a new life this will slowly fade. And at one point i will just think how silly those feelings were.
Absolutely. Once you change your environment to meeting different peer groups, you definitely will go through adjustments. I can relate to losing a virtual community. When I relapsed last winter, I had joined a different server, a very popular one. Because I wasn't there very long, I didn't establish 'close' friendships, but they were friends anyhow. Still, when I left my kinship and another smaller kinship I lead, I felt like I was turning my back on people who relied on me to be leader or just to 'be there'. It was uncomfortable and I felt a huge loss. What helps me is to remember that I never really knew these people. I never met them face to face. I never hung out with them in real life. And that was what I was missing: the human contact.
BUT....
Like you wisely mentioned, "yes we all lose something at this point. I think with building a new life this will slowly fade".
I could not have said that better myself! :)
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Keep at it ! :) You're doing very well!
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On 4/23/2018 at 9:01 AM, Natasha said:
Thank you, Dani. That means so much to me, you have no idea. :) You are such a sweet person. :)
Day 22/90
My husband and I are selling the Kia Sedona today. We're selling it to a friend. She's buying it for ten thousand but she's paying off the balance and we will owe her the 2300 over it. My husband and I are excited. Since I've left my job we've been selling things off and getting rid of debt so we can save up to buy our own house in a couple years. I think that's why quitting video games has been getting easier. We are seeing results from paying down our debts. Also, we have dreams and goals we're working towards seriously.
This going to be my last post on this forum.
I'm keeping up with the detox, but I'm taking the Sim card out if my phone and getting rid of the payment and recycling this old broken phone.
Thank you so much for your support everyone! You are all such great people and you helped me grow so much this month. :)
I completely respect your decision to leave. I hope you did gain a lot of positive feedback here. I admit, I am saddened to learn that you're going. There are not many females on this forum, and it's hard to lose another community member. Your insights have been invaluable. And if you decide to come back, you'd be welcomed with open arms.
Sincerely,
Dani
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Glad to have you here! Welcome!
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Welcome to the community!
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I am really glad you decided to stay around here to write a journal if it is helping you stay on track! I was actually going to quit writing here and focus on a private journal. But decided to do both. I also notice that it is helping me stay focused on short-term goals. Very interesting. People under-estimate how powerful this journal writing can be.
You have a great father, he really reached out to you. Must have felt good to receive a hug from him. I am also so excited for you about Paris. You must post pictures of that place. I would love to visit it one day, after my trip to Peru next year. :)
Kind regards,
Dani
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I think you are a natural story-teller. I knew that right away when I read your first journal entries. You have a knack for engaging a reader and drawing the reader further into the story. I also admire your critical thinking and thoughtful responses.
I don't know why, but I sense that you and I are similar. It's a rather fascinating feeling, to be honest. And I don't want to risk describing it either, because more than likely it'll sound contrived.
I admire how you care about your family, and what kind of lifestyle you want to live. I don't know many who have that sort of intentional outlook. I don't have a family of my own, and some days I miss that very much. My two nieces are like my own daughters, and I want to live my life in a fulfilling way, so that they can follow the same pathway. To live a life with intention and integrity, and to live it whole-heartedly.
It's always good to read your journal. Sadly, I deleted my entries. Tonight I just felt a bit nervous and anxious about writing my thoughts here for the general public to see. I have started a private journal, though. I hope to reflect more truth in my private diary, as I could not fully express myself on this forum.
Kind regards,
~ Dani
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I just wanted to congratulate you on your 90 Day Detox completion. :) I am so so proud of you. You continued to stand up even after a fall. That shows incredible fortitude and strength. Many years from now, if you have a sudden set-back in life, you can look back at this experience and be very proud.
:) Congrats, Mattia!
Sincerely,
~ Dani
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Well. The one thing I have not told my closest friend who now lives far away is that I was addicted to games. She's quite an intellectual and looks down upon gamers. I assume she would think that I'd never succumb to it. When I visit her this summer I will let her know. I'm curious how she'll respond.
In general, I don't reveal a lot of myself to new people I just met. But I'm not averse to sharing 'some' things. I like my privacy and now that I think about it, it's none of anyone's damn business.
Don't ssume that I don't know how to be intimate with good friends. I have been in past relationships. But that level of comfort and trust evolved over time. Nowadays I don't give a fuck. I dont believe that if a person shares something private about themselves that I should be expected to do the same thing. Here's a good example. --- The last person that tried to befriend me in a meet up group was way too open about her own miseries. I ended up enduring multiple phone calls in which she'd be crying on the phone about her ex-best friend. That made me want to run away from her. I hardly even KNEW this girl. And then she decided that I'd be her personal counselor. I left that friendship very quickly. It was intense from the very beginning.
DO I share intimate details about myself? Yes and no. I guess I screen what I want to share. Especially if the recipient has below average emotional intelligence or comes across as arrogant or judgmental. Most of all, I am deliberately careful because I learned that too much shared information at an early stage of a new friendship can be TOO much all at once. It is unattractive to me.
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Grats on acing the test 100%! You're making strides in your school/study life. Step by step....you are getting there. :)
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8 hours ago, Natasha said:
Day 17/90
Yesterday I felt so much anger, but that's all gone now. Realistically, it's not my place to feel like the money they say is being used for a cremation and a funeral even if it's not being used for that, and is being used for a trip to wherever they want go and spend money is exploition. It's not my business. So I'm dropping those feelings.
I'm dropping the feelings I had about visiting my mom's side of the family too. I felt so guilty. I felt so guilty that I forgot that I've never been invited to one birthday party or to celebrate a holiday. I forgot that I don't get invited over ever. I forgot that even though I attempt to call my siblings all the time they are too busy playing a video game or smoking pot to talk to me. I forgot that Everytime I've invited them over for anything, they couldn't come because they were to busy to celebrate their nieces birthdays, or I was expected to give them money or chaffeuer them for them to come (with the expectation that I'd take them back when they felt like leaving, even if it was in the middle of a party!). Or they could only stay 20 minutes to an hour cuz they had poker, bowling, or friends that was more important than us.
So, I'm not going to feel guilty anymore. After all, I extended the olive branch many times just to get my feelings hurt. So, I'm good. I don't need to get my kids' hopes up about relatives who don't care, or not showing up when they said they would. Or never being available. We have our pseudo family, and that's much better than what we were originally dealt.
I'm going to work on being positive from this post forward.
I really appreciate everyone here and I want to write positive things.
Oh! Like no game cravings yesterday! Yay!
That sounds like a healthy boundary, @Natasha. One day at a time. You are doing well.
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Gotta add this other thought...
@info-gatherer, to go a step further....I think that people fit into a certain 'category' of friendships. Obviously not all of our friends will be intimate with us. But we subconsciously place friends in specific categories because it suits our purpose somehow. Your tennis partner....a friend, not an intimate friend, but somebody you can hang out with from time to time, compete with, and share a lunch with. Nothing too intimate there, but still it's a social contact. You just never know where it will lead, but for now it's comfortable, right?
Anyway, I've rambled too long, and my bedtime is arriving swiftly. 45 more minutes....
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6 hours ago, Arch said:
Day 35,
Today was much better, sticked to my routines and got some more steps done in the garden, hoping it will be sunny tomorrow :)
Ate a little less impulsively today and introduced some sit-ups in the morning to burn a bit of belly fat. I'm somewhat self-conscious about my weight albeit less so than my teenage years with the recent years of exercising.
Took out Otto on the leash, still crazy as ever but somewhat better than last time. He makes me run again before dusk which is a nice boost to my energy. He's like a partner, we help each other out. He didn't stray from my calls once and I got to really shout at the beach which I never do and noticed this of myself. Felt quite empowering, although I was seeing this through the eyes of other's - "Wow, he's really able to control his dog well". It's probably better to accept this of myself for myself but either way it felt good.
I've opened a 40 inch monitor's worth of tabs about HSP, haha I'm mad I want to learn it all. I found a good blog on it and read every title and felt I could relate to my experiences. http://www.hspnotes.com/
It's cool how I respect my morning so much that I have a near zero-tolerance policy on sleeping late now. Alas it is that time!
I think I might be a highly sensitive person too, or have similar attributes. Thanks for linking the hspnotes. You seem to be on track and doing well with the detox! Yup, sleeping in late in the morning can set you back with goals. It is a continual goal in my life to have proper sleep habits. Some days aren't so great, but for the most part it's maintained. The near zero-tolerance is a solid mindset!
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49 minutes ago, Pierce said:
Day 3
I'm posting right now to clear my head so that I can complete my last two big tasks for the night. I've been working on a paper for class this afternoon and was feeling lonely since I've been at home for the past two days (and will be tomorrow as well), so after dinner I called two of my friends and texted a few others. The two I called made it clear I was calling at a bad time and they would get back to me tomorrow. The texting wasn't very fruitful either. Journaling is a tool that usually helps in times like these, and I am grateful that I do not want to turn to electronics like I usually do when I want to hide from my loneliness.
This is why being an introvert is so confusing. I've revelled at being at home and being able to control my own schedule. On the flip side, it's made me stir crazy. It's funny because there's not anywhere I'd like to go anyway since they would all make the feeling worse. Just processing the feeling and then getting back to what I need to do at home really is the most productive solution here. I guess I just need to be more cognizant of my thoughts. I've been ruminating over negative friendships in the past, and over all the positive one's I've lost. I should enjoy the company of myself, as I am my favorite person to be around (love-hate relationship, though).
As I've said before, this is my journey. The path is what I need to set my eyes on, my pace my only worry; sometimes to speed up to get to a certain destination in time, sometimes to slow down and rest, but never to stop to walk on a divergent path. I know this is a harsh attitude, but I need it to temper my people-pleasing tendencies: fuck everyone that makes me stumble off my path.
I feel better now. I'll finish my paper and start working on my art project soon. And overall, it's been a good day. Many productive things done, and I didn't allow my emotions to derail me.
Loneliness is a strange creature. It creeps up on us at any time. I asked this forum about how people handled loneliness. I received varying responses. Loneliness is just part of being human. Nothing to be ashamed of either. You can even feel lonely among your friends! Or even family! Or your partner! That's how creepy loneliness is....lol. But it's a feeling that will pass. Sometimes loneliness brings his friends; anxiety and depression. They have a little party together in your honor. I digress. I think what you did to counteract the loneliness by calling or texting your friends, is a good thing to do. You're reaching out. It's when you start isolating yourself for too long, that's when Loneliness, Anxiety, and Depression start partying HARD.
Keep yourself busy, think of a few small goals or tasks that can distract you. :) You already see the advantage of writing about what you're going through. Well done, @Pierce! I don't think Loneliness has much reason to stick around tonight. Seems he's disappeared.
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On 4/15/2018 at 2:30 PM, BigOlBeartic said:
I loved the drawings you posted Pierce! I do hope you end up joining the club. This journal is the definition of tenacity :)
@BigOlBeartic You are a very encouraging presence, you know? Always nice to read your responses to people. That's something I am going to work on. : )
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This is a hard time for you. I'm not sure what you'll be feeling today, this evening, tomorrow, or next week. But with the additional pain of losing a loved one, I don't blame you for feeling tempted to numb it through gaming or food. The good thing is that you wrote what you were feeling and struggling with. I can only assume that this is therapeutic for you. Whatever will help you get through each day, whether it's talking to your supportive spouse about gaming urges, writing about it on Game Quitters, writing in a private journal, whatever medium you wish to use.
You have already built a successful foundation prior to joining Game Quitters. I'm glad you're able to reflect on that from time to time. It has brought you many steps forward on the right path.
I am no expert in the grieving process, but what about planning a 'wake' to remember your cousin even though she has passed on from this world? Could you also involve your closest family, perhaps even your father? It's an opportunity to grieve in a positive way.
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@dwalk77 Congrats on completing 90 days!
You have written excellent reflections and future goals. I want to add this to my favorites list.....wish we could have that option on this forum!
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Brad's Journal
in Daily Journals
Posted
You did the right thing for yourself.
Ironically, I was watching this video yesterday. Same situation as yours, but from a minimalist perspective. Still, it's the same issue; dissatisfaction in his career. I hope it provides some encouragement for ya.