wookieshark88

You're right that all of the books we talk about here have much in common. I see them like pieces of a puzzle that becomes clearer the more you read. They have helped change my life. It's funny that before I read "The Power of Habit" I thought it was going to be cheesy and make me feel like a loser. It's really nice to be wrong!

I bought a new camera when I had my baby too! Great timing on quitting games! You're going to be in top mental shape by the time the baby is born!

I take an SSRI myself. I felt good for a long time so I decided to stop. I was still doing good for about 6 months until I fell right off a cliff and ended up a big mess. Don't quit them without your doctor's help. I always feel obligated to tell people that when I find out they take an SSRI. Anyways, welcome to the site, and thank you for introducing yourself in excellently written English!

dinner? You're right that you don't need to finish your dinner. You just need to eat a responsible amount regardless of what's on your plate. Seriously though, this man is correct. Pen to paper (fingers to keys) is the most important part. If you can do that, your journal will be perfect.

I finally got around to reading your journal! I would like to offer a belated welcome to you. I try to read every post on the site, but it takes me quite a while. In your first entry, you said that we can bombard your inbox with messages, and I want you to know that you can do the same to me. I will answer any PMs before I get to reading other posts. As for education, I would like to suggest taking a class or two at a community college if you have the time to do it. That is where I found out that I really wanted to study architecture. I was just taking interesting sounding classes until I took a history of architecture class and just kept going! I don't know if I will ever pursue a career in architecture (I probably will), but it is my dream to get my degree. I enjoy learning all about it!

I read the whole thing even though you said I could skip some. Your gaming urges will get better, and you're going to feel so good if you can stick with it! I'm about 130 days in and I'm still seeing improvements! That said, if you do game again (I sincerely hope you don't) feel free to tell us how it went. We won't judge you. I was a gamer for 25 years so I couldn't judge you without being a hypocrite anyways, haha. Our healthcare system is really rough, and I got nothing to help with that, unfortunately. All I can do is hope it gets better for you.

I'll be getting some vitamin D because I do most of the other stuff already. I do appreciate the advice. This is what's so good about doing my journal here. If I have difficulties, people with help by posting possible solutions. So many posters here have helped me along the way. It also keeps me accountable because once I have a potential solution, it's up to me to pursue it. I'm always naturally reluctant to do or try anything so I need to keep reinforcing that I should. I got home from work today and got to hang out with my baby. It was awesome. We called up Grandma and Grandpa so that we could share our happiness with them. From there I put her to sleep, and started making some oatmeal because I need to eat constantly to make sure I stay out of pain. Ideally, I would be doing my homework right now, but I'm exhausted and need a break. I'll get to it in a bit. My religious coworkers gave me a movie to watch because I think they see me as a potential convert. I put it on because I promised I would watch it. Of course I wouldn't actually spend the time to watch a movie I'm not interested in, but I figured that I'm too tired to move. I can keep my promise as well as catch up on the forums and rest. I actually am paying semi attention to it because I don't want to lie about seeing it. I felt the depression all day today, but I still did pretty good. Right now, it's purely a physical feeling and not a mental one. I'm really happy for this because I can deal with the physical aspect so much better than the mental. I just need to respect myself and know that I am doing the best I can and be proud of that fact. I'm providing for my family, pursuing my goal of getting an education, being the dad of my dreams, and being the husband that my wife deserves. That's pretty awesome. Yeah, I'm a little bit behind in my studies, but it is a good investment for me to just write in my journal and rest for now. This investment in my mental and physical well being will enable me to study more effectively next time. This is why I try to kick ass right out of the gate. This is why I got a 99, 108, and 100 in my tests and an A- on my notebook right out of the gate. I have room to breathe without danger of failing. That's not to say that I plan on coasting. It just means that I can momentarily focus on other needs that are more pressing without the danger of wasting the $2000 I paid to take this class. I am very determined to end the semester with an A. My meditation has been unfocused again today. It's not ideal, but I'm not frustrated. I've been learning to be patient and know that it's still really good for me. It was very slightly more focused than it has been so that's good. I am still doing good about being more mindful throughout the day which helps me a lot. I gave "Buddha" by Karen Armstrong another chance today, and I found it to be much more interesting that it was yesterday. I think the mental aspect of depression made me much less interested than I usually would be. It's cool because it's giving me more context with which to understand "Siddhartha" by Pablo Cohelo. I wouldn't really recommend it to anybody at this point because I know there are better books to read. Still, it's pretty cool to go to the library and recognize more and more books on the shelves and know what their contents are. It makes me feel really good about myself. I'm thankful for: Having the time to just write. It feels good.Being still. My body wants to rest, and I know it's the best way I can spend my time right now.Learning to back off before I run myself into the ground. It's not something I have always been successful at.Never having to watch this movie ever again. It really does not need to be this long.Being happy. Yeah, I have depression, but I'm happy.Not having stomach pains as bad as yesterday.Having a great family.Life without games. I'm so happy that I have this, and I want to help others who are playing games and don't want to.My wife coming home soon.Getting a good amount done at work despite my sagging motivation.

We also appreciate your posts!

The line that spoke to me the most was, "There are some people out there who are gaming, and they don't want to be." When I came across this I knew that I was one of those people. I suppose I always knew it deep down inside, but that was the thought that got me to really believe that I was going to figure it out. That's what got me to reach out. I think that point can convert some people from group 2 to group 1.

Cam, I love this site and want so badly for it to continue. The impact it has had on my life has been drastic. I've only had this kind of impact in my life less than ten times in my 32 years. Please give me some small thing I can do help you out. I'm really busy as a person, but I want to try to give just a bit more. Even if you just want to PM somebody how you feel, I'd be happy to be somebody you could talk to.

Thanks for taking the time to let us get to know you! Take your time to read around, ask questions, and talk to any of us! This is such a fantastic community, and we're happy to have you be a part of it!

I was in horror/awe to see clouds of smoke billowing from a bubbling liquid. This liquid represented my time and money and went up in smoke. Of course I can laugh now, but it was very sad. I will say that I am quite happy that this tragedy can turn into something that brings joy to others! Speaking of sad, split pea soup is very bad for gastritis. I had it for lunch today, and that gut punch of agony came back to me full force for a few hours at work. I stayed at work and toughed it out because I don't have much time off to take. That was not so much fun at all. I don't want to be a downer, but I have to be honest in my own journal. I've had a huge streak of mostly positive things to say, but life isn't like that all the time and I need to be real and honest or my journal becomes worthless. I need to complain about the time change. I really don't like the time change. Every year it triggers my depression. Having the sun go down at 5 PM or earlier is every hard on me. Depression is a vulnerability of mine anyways without the external factors like that, and I'm feeling it today. On the bright side, my baby spoke today!!!! I wasn't there for it, but I'm so proud of her! My baby always cries for a minute or two when my wife leaves for work in the morning. Today she started sniffling and said, "Mamamamama" as my wife was headed out the door. My poor wife started sniffling too and went back to give her a few more hugs and kisses before she left. I'm so happy that my baby feels so happy with her parents. I started listening to a new audio book "Buddha" by ...I can't remember today. It was pretty boring and think I won't spend any more time on it. Tomorrow I'm going to try Warren Buffet's biography. I can't wait until I have time to read books with my eyes and get through some of the many books I see mentioned around here! I've been getting my audio books from the library and I don't see the ones people have been recommending. For a while now my meditation has been really unfocused. I've been using headspace and doing one of the visualization techniques, but I think it's time to go back to the basics for a while. There's not really a point in having my mind wander the whole time instead of doing the visualization. I still enjoy my time meditating, but I want to nurture my growth in the practice as much as possible. The best way I can think of doing that is to just strip away everything but the bare bones of the practice. It's time to just focus on the breath and observe the thoughts without getting swept away by them. I'm thankful for: Being reasonably productive at work today.Having a good training session at work in which I learned more about what I do.Being able to drink chamomile tea. It's the only flavored beverage I have these days, and I have learned to really like it!My baby's first word!!!!!My wife for stepping up this evening while I stay still and rest.Having a nice phone conversation with my parents today. I've been very mindful of talking to them regularly since I quit games.My mother in law for taking such an active role in helping us raise our baby. It's such a blessing that we don't have to pay for daycare.Living such a better life since quitting games.Having good habits to help me get through the difficult times.Taking the time to appreciate the good in my life. This is so important especially when depression rears its ugly head.

Tom, your journal is a joy to read as always! I'm really glad to see that you're enjoying the Power of Habit!

Haha, I just had a Batman mask. Today I'm working on redeeming myself from the great soup fire of 2015. I just finished cooking my split pea soup, and I can't wait to try some! It's nice to finally be able to redeem myself from last week's fiasco. It's going to be delicious. Last Thursday was an annoying day at class. During lecture, the professor spent some time explaining how too many of the students' assignments have been below par. I really hate those speeches, but I do have plenty of lazy students in my class so I can see where she's coming from. It makes me feel bad about myself because I'm a bit behind in my notebook right now. I work on my notebook at lunch every day at work, after my baby goes to sleep and before the wife gets home from work, and a few hours on the weekend at the library. I know she's not intending the message towards me, but it brings me back to my childhood when my dad was so overly critical of me. Oh well, I'm doing the best I can, and that is enough for me. It's nice that I have some time to actually slow down and write more than just a few sentences in my journal. I have been missing putting more of my words in writing. Over the course of my life, I've only occasionally journaled until now, but it's really become an important part of my day. I'm thankful for: Successfully making split pea soup.Having a good swim session with the family this morning.Not have any stomach pain today. I'm getting better!Slowing down for a little while to just write and process.Not having the urge to play games when I hear people talking about them. The urges really do lessen over time.Making progress towards my goals of getting through the semester, reaching my goal weight, getting better at my job, and being there for my family.My wife and baby taking their naps while I sit comfortably in silence.The awesome crepes I had for breakfast!Feeling better after eating too much candy yesterday.Being ready for next week.

I haven't seen that, but I head him on the Tim Ferriss show! The guy sounds awesome. Today was a really good Halloween! We got all the house chores and shopping done for the week. My baby had fun in her duck costume, and she got to play in a pile of leaves. I'm ready for bed so that's all I'm going to write for today. I'm thankful for: My baby's duck costume.Not having any chores to do tomorrow.Not eating too much candy.

Today was another good day and end to the work week. I finished up Arnold's autobiography today. I'm in awe of his passion and never failing resolve. How does he live the way he does and never get tired? For me, I need breaks and days were I can relax because I can't push myself like that. I have certainly tried to and still am taking on a lot. That guy is just amazing. My wife and I carved up our pumpkin after we put the baby to sleep and roasted the seeds. They're so delicious! Tomorrow we're all going to the in-laws' house to celebrate Halloween together. It's going to be really fun. My focus during my meditation has been poor for a while now. I think it may have to do with my quitting caffeine over a week ago because of my stomach. I'm thankful for: Learning all about Arnold and how he found success. I'll be thrilled if I can achieve half as much as him.Enjoying my evening with my wife. We don't get a ton of time together, but we make it count.Not having to think about work for a few days.Not having severe stomach pain today.Having so much in my life to be happy about.All my habits. They really keep me going strong.Being able to enjoy the evening. It's my favorite time of the day.Having a nice dinner.Everybody to takes the time to write in my journal. All of those words make a huge difference in my life.Happiness.

Today was another good day, but I'd rather talk about yesterday. Yesterday my mother in law was feeling under the weather so I stayed home to take care of my baby. It was such a great time with her. We played, read her books, sang, danced, and laughed together. I took her to the aquarium too. She loved it there! She had a blast seeing all the different fish and sights in general. She kept trying to grab through the glass in the smaller exhibits and catch the fish. It was such a special treat to spend the day with her one on one. The last time I did that was about the time I joined this site. Her and I are both so different now. It's a wonderful thing! Today was pretty normal. I went to class and got back my midterm. I got a 100% on it which is obviously awesome! At work I went to a meeting to learn more about a project that I'm working on. It's actually a lot more exciting than I had originally thought. That doesn't happen too often at work, but I'll take it. When I got home, I spent a bit of time with my baby and put her to sleep, did my homework until the wife got home, and now we're relaxing as I finish this entry. I'm thankful for: Doing well on my midterm.Having a really special day with my baby yesterday.My mother in law feeling better.My wife for whipping up a quick dinner.My cats for keeping my company.Not having any severe stomach pain today.Keeping up with my habits.Having another day of freedom from video games.Having a very interesting project at work.Being happy.

wait a second. When did you start working on this current weight loss? Regardless, that's not bad at all About four months ago.

In architecture school you have to do a lot of sketching. We have to do our assigned readings and sketch the buildings that we study in our notebook. This gets turned in for a grade. My journal entry is here. That post took me a long time to think through and write so it's good for today.

Hey, I wouldn't compare my path with yours. We're in vastly different parts of our lives and are different people too. I'll share with you my life at your age because I had very similar fears as you. I actually hear my younger self in your words. The path of my younger life is probably way different than yours, but that's okay. Maybe if something about my old self intrigues you, you can ask me more about it and it can help you out. I never had a girlfriend in high school, but not because I didn't want one. I desperately did, but I had zero self confidence. It was probably negative self confidence really. When I look back, there were girls who were interested in me, but I thought so little of myself that I couldn't see it. I went to a very small private school and graduated at the top of my class. This was no surprise to anybody because I had been at the top of my class in most every grade since elementary school. I had one really good friend at this point and some good acquaintances. I started going to university and was studying engineering. The reason why I picked engineering was that I was very strong in math and science. I didn't really have any passion for it at all, but it seemed like a good choice to have a nice career. Really though, the thought of becoming an engineer was depressing to me. Also, my social life wasn't getting any better. I had absolutely no idea how to connect with people. The main thing for me was that if people got to know me, they would realize that I was some sort of freak and I would be humiliated. I was ashamed of most every aspect of myself. I was ashamed to have never had a girlfriend, to be a virgin, of my religion, of being a conservative in a hardcore liberal setting, of not having many friends, of my own family...I could go on. I was getting fairly good grades, but I was so unhappy. I had a girl that I was talking to online that lived on the opposite side of country. We had been talking for years and we really liked each other. After my third semester of school I just took off to go live with her. She was literally the only thing in my life that I actually liked so I figured that I should go. I was really scared about leaving behind everything I ever knew, but it wasn't like all of that exactly made me happy anyways. I got a decent job and got married to the girl. We were up and down in our relationship, but I was still much happier than I was before. I had somebody in my life. Most of my original problems were still in my life, but at least I had somebody that I suffered with. Naturally, that marriage didn't work out. I ended up more or less where I left off when I was in school. The only difference this time was that I was thousands of miles away from my family. I ended up in an apartment by myself, and was too afraid to go out and make friends. I was so depressed and eventually just had a nervous breakdown. It was awful. I was having panic attacks multiple times a day, and could barely even speak. This is actually the point in my life where things started getting better for me. My natural inclinations led me to this point and left me no choice but to change at this point.

Today was another good day. Class was good, and it seems like we're going at a little bit of a slower pace than we were. This is really nice because it makes it easier to keep up with the coursework. I got an A- on my notebook, but no midterm results yet. Work was pretty basic today. I went it, worked, and left. My exercise there was good too. My morning meditation has seemed fairly unfocused for a few days now. I'm still doing it every day and enjoying it, but it doesn't feel like the most productive thing lately. Perhaps I'm just becoming more aware of my thoughts. I'm thankful for: A new record low weight. 32 down and 3 to go!Doing well on my notebook grade.Having leftovers for dinner instead of having to cook. It leaves more time for studying.Only having minor stomach discomfort. It's been days since any bad pain!Having a productive study session today.Having a good amount of play time with my baby.Having a safe drive to and from school.Having a good attitude throughout the day.Resting at the end of the day.Having some nice conversations with people at work.

With any luck, I won't ever have to follow your advice because my soup burning days are behind me. Today I totally redeemed myself by making baked chicken breasts topped with mushrooms and mozzarella cheese with a side of asparagus and fingerling potatoes! The chicken was so moist and flavorful and it all went together so well as a rustic dinner. It feels good to have my latest cooked meal be a success! Split pea soup is still on the menu for this weekend and I will erase my failure with another success! Today was really good! My stomach has felt awesome all day today. Every other day my stomach as either felt uneasy or painful, but not today! I've been taking probiotics for a few days now and am on day 2 of a 7 day cleanse. This alone makes today great! I'm wrapping up my habits with my journal entry and am anxious to get back to wife time. I'm thankful for: Having my stomach feel really good all day!Cooking something good.My baby giving me the biggest smile when I got home.Having a really peaceful day.Feeling stronger during my morning exercises.My cat for hanging out with me during journal writing time.Being able to smile all day.My wife taking care of the baby while I made dinner.Not feeling any signs of asthma for the last few days.Getting to read a few journals today.

I had a nervous breakdown at that age (which I don't recommend) due to my divorce, moving into an apartment by myself, being far away from my family, my natural anxiety and depression, playing video games for just about every moment of my free time, and just being too scared to go out and meet people. What I realized during that time was that many people struggle with that same need for external validation that I had. I had spent my entire life up until that point thinking that struggles like that were not common and it was something to be ashamed of. When I started to learn that my struggles were something that I shared with the rest of humanity, I began to feel less like a freak. This helped me to reach out to people because many were just like me in those ways. I realized that the people who are quick to pass the kinds of judgement that I feared were the minority and just plainly assholes. Most people don't like or care for their negative commentary. Also, it was an easy way to find out who I didn't want to waste time socializing with.

You've got a ton of great goals! If you ever start to feel like it's a bit much, just remember that it's better to make some progress every single day rather than make a ton of progress one day and do nothing for the next few days. That said, if you find that you can consistently handle that much, go for it!

One upside of being sick is that you have good reason to stay in bed and read. That's what I've been doing when I haven't been feeling well. I get to learn so good stuff, be entertain, and reading helps me to relax and fall asleep! With all your newfound knowledge from reading, you'll be able to much more effective in life once you feel better!