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Day 19: May 24, 2019 Today has been enlightening! I'm feeling very inspired and excited about my new life this evening. I made some important decisions today and I feel so good about them. I'm going to accept the job offer and take my first job in IT. And I think I'm going to try to get my old job back as well. I'm going to try to work 1-2 weeknights and weekends at my old job. This way I can keep one foot in each door. This will also keep me busy and away from gaming. Finally some actual security in my life! This is the structure I've needed to really take control of my new life. While I am happy and proud of my progress to lose weight and get fit thus far, I want to take it to the next level. I want to go hard at this. I've decided to go water only starting on Monday. Along with adjusting a few things about my diet and doing meal prep for when I go back to work all the pieces should be in place for the weight to just start melting off. I've hit the gym an impressive 16 of the last 19 days and I strive to go each day if I can. I'm just riding this emotional high tonight. Very excited about my future right now. I can see a new life now, one that provides actual real fulfillment. One day I'm going to go back and read this journal and I want myself to read this entry and remember this day because this is the day that everything became real for me. I'm woke af. I finally get it. I'm done hiding behind the computer screen. I won the fucking day. 19 days gaming free 19 days porn free 19 sugar drink free

Thanks for sharing your experience with me. Glad to hear it worked out well for you. I think I know what my decision will be and I'm excited! Have a good weekend also!

Day 18: May 23rd, 2019 Today I gained a new perspective on things. I had a 90 minute conversation with my roommate about how our lives are going and it was enjoyable. I finally told him about the detox and he was surprised but supportive. At the gym today while doing cardio I watched a YouTube Ted talk video about sugar. I always knew sugar was bad but this hit home in a way I needed. It helped me understand what I'm doing wrong in the mornings. I need to be having protein in the morning to give myself the best possible start to the day. This is probably why my mornings have been sluggish for weeks. So I'm going to be altering up my routine in the morning which will hopefully give me that push I need to start crushing. I took the long walk home after the gym and received a phone call from the IT interview I had last week. They offered me the job. My first job in IT. Fucking sweet right? I told her I needed the weekend to think about it. The wage is lower than I'd like but I've unsuccessfully tried to find IT work for over 6 months.. not sure I can turn this down if I want to work in the industry. But that's the issue.. I've been having 2nd thoughts about whether I want to pursue IT anymore. My old job might give me my job back with new responsibilities and there's a part of me that wants to take that road. It's the safe road I know.. but there's long term potential there to have a solid career. I need to speak to my old manager to see if she can offer me more information about what type of role they have in mind for me. Then I will speak with people I trust and hopefully have a decision by Monday. Very tough decision. This is possibly one of the biggest decisions of my entire life. But the good news is I can finally start working again soon and start building my future. And now that I don't have gaming to take up all my time and distract me from what's really important I expect myself to perform better at work and become a true asset. The future is bright. I'm excited. Today wasn't my best day health wise but I'm much better prepared to really go on an impressive streak here soon. Damn, I'm motivated. No gaming, no cravings. I won the day. 18 days since I played a video game 18 days since I watched porn 18 days since I smoked weed 18 days since I ate junk food 18 days since I drank pop

Was addicted to many games over the past decade+ but managed to avoid fortnite specifically. Much of the advice you'll find on game quitters should apply for you as well. Good luck

Day 17: May 22, 2019 Today was a lot like many other days of the detox. I had a really crappy sleep last night, which caused me to have a disappointing start to the day. I'm actually starting to get annoyed at my lack of jump/energy in the mornings. I lay around in bed too long, I drink coffee and check social media and the internet and then eventually I get dressed and go to the gym 1-2 hours later than I should. This has got to stop, I have to create an environment that encourages me to be proactive in the morning. I suspect this will change when I start my job again soon but I've got to do better right now. My sluggish morning meant I didn't put in my best effort at the gym today, but I showed up because this is who I am now. I don't miss workouts. On top of 40 mins of cardio at the gym today I walked for 60 mins and did 15 minutes of yoga and a few sets of pushups. I continued my habit of walking to the cafe and getting a tea. I think I'm going to put an end to this soon.. maybe tomorrow. I noticed today that after my workout and drinking a bunch of water, I just felt good. I felt clean, like my body was functioning optimally. Soon after I had my 2 cream/1sugar tea I felt bloated.. like I didn't need to put that into my body. I think I want to move to like a nearly 100% water plan soon. I've done 27 days water only before, I can do it again. I sent in my references for that IT job today and I might hear back about that soon. I also spoke with my old manager about coming back and it's sounding quite promising that I can return. I'm leaning towards just going back to my old job. I know I'm comfortable there, I know I can do it and be successful. Especially now that I'm not blinded by video games and am performing at a far superior level than I was only a few weeks ago. Time will tell, I'm eager to get this sorted out soon. No gaming, no cravings. No fap, although I did have a pretty strong craving. I won the day. 17 days since I played a video game 17 days since I watched porn 17 days since I smoked weed 17 days since I ate junk food 17 days since I drank pop

I trust in your experience. Thanks for the advice, I will take this into consideration.

Impressive dedication dude. You've got my thinking I need to step up my game. Grats on 100%, I think the only thing I ever got 100% on was gym class ? Yoga has been great for me personally, makes me feel centered and peaceful. Hitting the weights will make you feel awesome when you start to get that pump feeling. I crave it now. Keep up the good work

Sounds like you've been through a lot. It's hard to see the forest thru the trees sometimes. I hope things get better for you asap. Here to support you, good luck! ?

Day 16: May 21, 2019 Today was a good day. Put in one of my best workouts yet at the gym. Walked for approx 110ish minutes today. Ate clean all day long. I've created a habit where I walk to the cafe almost every day which is good, however I order a tea with cream and sugar also which is not good. It's the only questionable thing I put in my body most days of this detox.. I think I'm going to try to cut out this habit next week and pay closer attention to the scale to see if it helps. It's funny to see how far I've come already.. in the past I would do this every day without blinking, on top of tons of other terrible food choices. Now I'm very careful about what I put in my body. If I do this half-ass I will get half-ass results and I don't want that. The job interview I had last week called and asked for my references which is good. I might actually have to choose between this job and my old one which could be interesting. Too early to tell, I'll worry about that later. Much more emotionally stable today than yesterday, I think I just didn't keep busy enough yesterday and let my mind wander too much. No gaming, no cravings. I won the day 16 days since I played a video game 16 days since I watched porn 16 days since I smoked weed 16 days since I ate junk food 16 days since I drank pop

Welcome. You can do it!

Day 15: May 20th, 2019 Today was mostly a good day. The bathroom scale continues to move in the right direction which is awesome. I walked to the gym today and put in 50 mins of cardio exercises. Managed to walk for about..100 minutes or so today also. Ate healthy meals today and drank a bunch of water. I walked to the coffee bar today and spent some time at the cafe studying and watching some game quitters videos. I think it's important that I stay motivated and inspired. I've failed at trying to change my life enough times to know that motivation and inspiration are fleeting and they don't last unless you take the time to nurture them. Here's a great quote from Zig Ziglar, "People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily" I was quite bored today for periods of time and it made me realize how fucking lonely I am. I barely have any friends. I wish I had a girlfriend so bad, but I have no idea how to get one. It's so clear to me now why I gamed so much. When I gamed I wasn't thinking about how I needed more friends or how badly I wanted a girl in my life. I always wanted those things I just didn't know how to get them so I gamed instead. I couldn't take my eyes off this cute girl with purple hair at the cafe today, feels so hopeless sometimes. Bah whatever, this is just a challenge I need to overcome. I think for the first 60 days of my detox I want to remain very focused on my health goals as my primary pursuit. Continuing my fitness and weight loss journey will bring me self worth, confidence, and bravado. I think at day 60 I will begin to focus my efforts on how I can meet more friends, especially girls. Maybe it was just a bad day and I had too much time to think and I got down on myself. I genuinely feel much better than I did about myself today than I did on day 1 and that's what really matters. There is now a reality where I can achieve my goals, where I'm actually living my life the way I want to.. that wasn't the case a few weeks ago. I just sat around and hoped something would change someday, it doesn't work like that. How the fuck could I not see this before? In all seriousness tho, I'm happy right now. I'm proud of myself. I'm getting shit done. I'm living my life. I will rise to the challenge and I will live up to my expectations of myself. No gaming, No fap, no porn, I won the day. 15 days since I played a video game 15 days since I watched porn 15 days since I smoked weed 15 days since I ate junk food 15 days since I drank pop

I did not know this. I have never experienced waking up and having a 'release' But I only think I've gone past 21 days no fap.. maybe twice ever? I wonder if it will happen to me eventually. I'm not having sex right now unfortunately so I suppose I'll find out soon if I will release naturally haha.

Day 14: May 20th, 2019 (the next morning) Two weeks of no gaming. My first minor milestone I think. Yesterday was a busy day with multiple things I had to do and couldn't journal until now. Yesterday may have been my worst health day so far but I don't particularly care. I had to visit my mom and in the evening I had friends over to watch Game of Thrones finale and there was going to be pizza. I knew I was going to refocus heading into my 3rd week so I allowed myself some slack. I'll keep it brief as I want to reflect on the 2 weeks so far rather than 1 day where things were a little wacky. Two week checkpoint What has gone well: 1) I've lost 4.4 pounds in 14 days. A promising start. If I maintain that pace and my math is decent I should lose approx 30 pounds by the end of the detox. That would be the lightest I've been in a long long time. I know big changes like this don't happen overnight but I just want this so bad. I've tried to lose weight dozens and dozens of times over the last decade and failed each time. The one thing different about this attempt is I no longer have gaming in my life to pull me away from what's really important to me. After I finish this post my best health week yet begins. 2) No gaming, no porn, no fap, no weed, no pop, and no junk food purchases in 14 days. I've had a few bad meals in the two weeks yes but I haven't gone out and purchased fast food every other day like I used to. No gaming has been quite easy for the most part. There have been boring periods of a few hours where I had small gaming cravings but there's no way I would go thru all the hoops at this point just to game for a couple hours. No porn and no fap have been slightly more challenging than gaming but nothing too crazy. I'm definitely committed to doing the 90 days no porn (and hopefully many more days) but at some point I might fap.. I dunno. I think fapping like once or twice a week without watching porn is probably okay and healthy but I'm going to try to abstain for as long as possible for now. No weed has been the easiest so far, no cravings and shouldn't be an issue to continue. A few days so far where I've had cravings for a pop but now that I have such an impressive streak going I don't think I see myself snapping the streak just so I can satisfy a craving. 3) My mental health and general well-being. The last like.. 6 months of my life have been an emotional rollercoaster. Some highs and a lot of lows. I had a few of my lowest days ever only 1 month ago. Since I started the detox I've just been way more stable in every way. I'm no longer prone to emotional outbursts. I just generally feel better in almost every way. And for the first time in only God knows how long, I'm actually excited for my future. There's a light at the end of the tunnel and a clear path for me to get there. My dreams feel more like attainable goals now instead of just something I hoped would happen to me someday. What needs work and how can I get better: 1) My mornings. I need to adopt a more up and at them approach to my mornings. I am devaluing how important it is to begin the day on the right path. I'm thinking about this chart from Atomic Habits starting today. 2) While I am no longer gaming I have found myself spending more time looking at my phone. I suppose this is natural as I have way more time now and the whole not having a job thing means this is going to be tough to tackle right now. One thing I can think of is to put my notifications on silent. That will reduce the triggers I get that make me pick up the phone dozens of times a day. Could try other tactics such as leaving the phone in another room also. Not a huge issue tho, I'm way more interested in my quest to lose weight and get healthy than this right now. I can probably list a few more things but I'm going to keep it to these two for now. I will do another reflection post like this at 30 days. I'm committed to having my best week yet and it starts now. 14 days since I played a video game 14 days since I watched porn 14 days since I smoked weed 14 days since I ate junk food 14 days since I drank pop

Day 13: May 18th 2019 Today was a good but not great day. My string of lackluster mornings mostly continued as I nursed my morning cup of coffee far too long before finally getting dressed and heading out to run an errand before hitting the gym. I spoke to my old boss about coming back to work potentially, it sounds like it may be possible. It's still too early to tell what could happen but with things being so complicated in my life right now in regards to my lease being up in a few months and no IT job on the horizon anytime soon, I think this would be a wise decision. I always liked working there I just never saw it as a career for some reason but these last two weeks I've been thinking that maybe this could actually be a good place to have a career. I will see what comes of it but I think at least in the short term it would be wise to return and see what happens over the next few months. I only did 30 mins of cardio at the gym this morning because I was feeling sluggish. Probably because I didn't have a proper breakfast. But I knew the important part was to just show up at all. I am no longer the type of person who makes excuses, I get things done. I also fit in about 100 minutes of walking today and 15ish minutes of yoga in the evening. Got a little studying done also. Lunch and dinner were healthy and as the day wore on I felt better and performed better as I drank a bunch of water and ate clean. Was quite bored for a period in the afternoon today which got me thinking about gaming a little but no real threat of actual gaming. Tomorrow could be a challenging day as I've got multiple things planned. I've got to start tomorrow off right. 13 days since I played a video game 13 days since I watched porn 13 days since I smoked weed 13 days since I ate junk food 13 days since I drank pop

You can do it! In regards to the journal, I've found so far that it has been a great accountability habit. Multiple times I've stopped myself from doing something I shouldn't because I knew I would have to write in my journal that I made a mistake. I've also found it to be quite therapeutic and liberating at times. Best of luck, I wish you success.

Day 12: May 17th, 2019 Another wasted morning that actually turned into a disappointing first half of the day. I also had more sugar today than probably the last week combined, yikes. I'm not really sure what happened this morning, I just had this laissez-faire attitude for the first half of today and I'm pretty annoyed by it. Around halfway thru the day I knew I was off track and started to feel the guilt about it and knew I had to save the rest of the day or this could be the worst day of the process so far. In the evening I had to fight junk food cravings but I managed to cook myself a healthy dinner and salvage the day. I also did not find time to hit the gym today which is upsetting but I'm still boasting an impressive 10 out of 12 days so far so I'll just get back on track tomorrow. But today wasn't all bad. I lost another pound so that makes 4.4 lbs since day 1. That's a pretty good pace.. if I maintain this pace I could lose 33lbs by day 90? That would be fantastic, I've set the goal at a totally attainable 20lbs. I purchased a $119 tennis racquet for $40 thanks to my family member's employee discount! I'm really excited to play some tennis this summer. I also went to the driving range for golf to practice some new swing techniques and the results were quite good. Big improvement from last time I went so that's exciting. Found some time to study for A+ exam AND read 2 chapters of Atomic Habits. Met up with a friend in the evening to go for a walk in the forest which was about an hour. And just finished up about 20 minutes of yoga as I felt I needed to make up for missing the gym and I wanted to feel some good stretches and poses. All in all, I think it ended up being a reasonable day. Had I eaten better this would have been an excellent day. I must be better in the mornings, It's not a recipe for success to start the day off on the wrong foot. Small gaming craving during middle of day when I was super bored but never tempted to actually play. 12 days since I played a video game 12 days since I watched porn 12 days since I smoked weed 12 days since I ate junk food 12 days since I drank pop

Welcome Victor. Sounds like you've got a bad case of the sunk cost fallacy. There is a video on the game quitters YouTube that can maybe help you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5jnmwt5Q9w Keep writing in your journal, its been a great accountability habit for me. Maybe it can be that for you. Good luck

Day 11: May 16th, 2019 Today was an eventful and rewarding day. I probably wasted too much time in the morning again ( definitely something I need to work on) but once I was ready I walked to the gym and put in 45+ mins of cardio exercises. Took the long way back home so it was probably 85 mins of walking today as well. I managed to get more studying done today than previous days which is great. Been listening to a bunch of productive and insightful podcasts and audio books lately at the gym and on my walks. Really been educational and fascinating. This is another big reason why I'm going to try to walk a bunch this summer. It serves so many of the goals I have, I get free easy exercise, I get to be outside during the best time of year and I get to listen to awesome podcasts and audio books which imparts knowledge and skills upon me. In the evening I went to my mother's for dinner. Helped her with a few things and picked up some free food in the process. Then I visited my friend and we spent a few hours talking and catching up, it was really enjoyable. I told her about my detox and all the things I'm doing now. She's really excited for me and wants to see how I do. It's nice to have someone to talk to about this and who supports me. No cravings for anything today, I kept myself quite busy so there wasn't much of an opportunity to make a mistake. As Cam says in Respawn, I won the day. 11 days since I played a video game 11 days since I watched porn 11 days since I smoked weed 11 days since I ate junk food 11 days since I drank pop

Day 10: May 15th, 2019 Hey, look at that, I made it to double digits. Halfway thru May already, crazy. Today was a really good day for reaching my goals. I was annoyed at my not great meal that I had yesterday and I wanted to course correct today and I did that in a big way. I crushed biceps, shoulders and triceps at the gym today as well as 45 minutes of cardio exercises. Managed to fit in a 40 minute walk in the evening too and got completely soaked in the process as it started to rain. I still think I can make use of my time better, there are still periods of my day where I'm just not using my time efficiently.. checking the same stupid social media crap over and over, spending too much time doing nothing in the morning and other times. But its still so early in the detox, I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I'm actually super impressed and proud of myself for how well this journey to change my life forever has gone so far. I wish I could fast forward to day 30, day 45.. day 60 and beyond. I'm so eager to see the results. Every single time in my life previously where I've tried to change I've ultimately failed in the end. But this time is different. All of those previous times I tried to change I was still a huge gamer. This time I don't have that to hold me back, to suck up all my time and energy and to numb me from my real life. Anyway.. I'm excited for my future now.. in a way I didn't think I ever could be. No cravings for anything today. A huge win today overall. 10 days since I played a video game 10 days since I watched porn 10 days since I smoked weed 10 days since I ate junk food 10 days since I drank pop

Really dig your journaling style, and I see a lot of my current problems in the things you are describing. I too am at a confusing time for myself career wise and it causes me stress each day. I went thru the same thing you described about the porn addiction and ED problems with my EX a couple years ago and she also had a negative body image of herself. Do you find yourself with a lot of free time? Do you have enough activities to fill up that time you used to dedicate to gaming and porn? You mention "fatigue, mood swings, poor sleep quality, and most annoyingly, painful headaches that don't really respond to medication. I've also felt jumpy and anxious at night." Have you tried weight lifting or working out? I think that could potentially do wonders for these issues. I'm only 10 days in myself but I've thrown myself into lifting and exercise and I'm already noticing increases in sleep quality, energy levels, mood, ability to focus, capacity for learning.. etc Anyway, hope the best for you friend.

Atomic Habits - James Clear. Currently reading it again for the 2nd time and will probably read it again later. Strongly recommended reading for you fellow gamers out there. Has really helped me understand habit formation and how to break bad habits and create new helpful ones.

Day 9: May 14th, 2019 I had that job interview today, I think I did a pretty good job. I don't know if I will get it but I performed much better than the last interview I had. Getting a job is probably the only thing in my life right now that causes me a little stress each day. I cannot go much longer without a job, I need to find anything soon. I will probably have to take an easy job soon like delivering pizza or working in a restaurant or mall while I continue to search for a job in IT. I also booked my CompTia A+ exam for June 6th! Now I have a goal to work towards. I had one meal today I'm not very happy about, it wasn't junk food but it wasn't healthy food either. And it bothered me all day long. This is a good sign. I will use this mistake and learn from it going forward. This shows me how far my mindset has changed already. If I do this detox half ass I'm going to get half ass results and I won't continue to place obstacles in my path. I went to the gym and did 45+ minutes of cardio exercises and walked for about 50 minutes today as well. I studied a little today but I will need to start to study more now that I have an exam in a few weeks. No cravings for anything today. 9 days since I played a video game 9 days since I watched porn 9 days since I smoked weed 9 days since I ate junk food 9 days since I drank pop

Thank you! I'm already noticing small improvements in my life. Yeah avoiding the junk food has been a challenge. Haha yeah, I'm not a great singer ? Day 8: May 13th, 2019 Started the day with eggs and vegetables for breakfast and then went to the gym. Worked hard at the gym on chest and back and cardio exercises. After the gym I met a friend and we went for an hour+ walk in the forest. In the early evening I went for another 40 minute walk alone to get a tea and some exercise and to get outside because it's finally beautiful outside. Sitting here writing this and I'm thinking 'Is this really all I did today?' how does the time pass so quickly? I think I'm wasting too much time looking at my phone lately. I really need to get a job soon. I have an important interview tomorrow and I hope it goes well. It would be a great job for me. If I don't get this job I think I may need to take ANY job I can soon.. maybe something easy like delivering pizza. The #1 thing most important to me right now is that I do my detox and I'm eating the right way and getting exercise each day. I want to get in the best shape of my life more than anything. It's a confusing time in my life right now in some ways but for the first time in a very long time I feel like I'm doing the right things. I'm proud of myself. No cravings for anything today. Another successful day. 8 days since I played a video game 8 days since I watched porn 8 days since I smoked weed 8 days since I ate junk food 8 days since I drank pop

Day 7: May 13th, 2019 (the next morning) Yesterday was an eventful and busy day. It was mother's day. It was also the completion of my first week of the detox. Obviously because of the occasion I had my first bad meal in a week but I'm allowing myself 1 cheat meal a week anyway and I had an awesome week so I'll allow it. If anything I feel even more inspired this week to have a great week. I went for a walk with a friend in the evening and had some good talks. He's the first person I told so far about me doing the detox. Didn't make it to the gym yesterday but I did over an hour of walking during the day as well as 20 minutes of yoga late in the evening. Going to keep this entry short as I will write about today this evening. Cravings were minimal yesterday. 7 days since I played a video game 7 days since I watched porn 7 days since I smoked weed 7 days since I ate junk food 7 days since I drank pop

Day 6: May 11th, 2019 I kind of wasted the first few hours of today. I was waiting on someone to reply to me so we could make plans for later in the day so I spent many hours not being productive because I didn't know what was going to happen. Then she cancelled and I was frustrated because I could have used my time better today. Regardless.. it was a good day. I went to visit my mom, bought her some flowers for mother's day, had a small lunch with her. Went to the driving range and practiced my golf. I'm quite good with my irons but I have a huge slice issue with my driver and I want to fix it asap. In the evening I went to the gym and did 70 minutes of cardio exercises. That's 6 days of the gym in a row for me. I know someday I will probably miss a day but I will go everyday until I absolutely cannot. My fitness and my health are a priority for me and I will not make excuses to be lazy anymore. Did a little studying and a little reading today but probably not enough. Big craving for a sprite this evening. I thought I was going to give in but I didn't and it went away. Another strong fap craving this afternoon also.. it was tough but I forced myself to do another activity and it went away. No cravings for gaming. Going to go relax and watch some netflix before sleep in a few hours. Tomorrow should be an exciting day. 6 days since I played a video game 6 days since I watched porn 6 days since I smoked weed 6 days since I ate junk food 6 days since I drank pop