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chi

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About chi

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  1. chi

    Diary

    day 47: From 2 days i am resisting a temptation to play. I do not really want to do anything, so i overthinking about game. The problem is that game is instant-enter, all you need to do is connect using the telnet protocol. I have to reorganize my schedule, maybe take some vitamin supplements and relax better, or change the flat(!)
  2. chi

    Diary

    day 43: Today I had a strong desire to play again. To block the game that tempts me since yesterday, I blocked the IP address of the game server on the router, but I do not know how much it will help. Fortunately, I recover, and on Monday I finish antibiotic therapy, so I will be able to return to life and work. Besides, I'm learning electronics, and in the evenings I meditate regularly - it helps a lot!
  3. chi

    Diary

    day 42: Dancing with fire Today I had a very strong desire to play. I am sitting at home, because after the holidays I am sick again and I can not go to sports. I made a mistake and entered the forum of my most addictive game. It turned out that a few days ago there was a so-called PW - that is, everyone starts again. Out of curiosity, I entered the world and wrote to the "friend" with whom I played. I mentioned my detox, he said that he also has a game problem, but he has no more strength to fight it. He tried to persuade me to return to the game, but at the moment we started to write about the greatest maniacs of this universe. Most are so involved that they play one game for 20 years! Even now they are so addicted that they play 10-15 hours a day and get up at night just to get better equipment. Then another, endlessly, because the character cannot be finished. Like a hamster on his spinning wheel. It is terrifying and overwhelming. I regret them, but I had to say goodbye and never come back.
  4. chi

    Diary

    day 41: I did not write because I was in Greece on vacation. I met a lot of fantastic people and visited the beautiful islands of Corfu, Paxos and Antipaxos. I am reminded of the holidays when I played constantly, wasting beautiful moments of my life. Now that I'm at home, I'd love to play to kill the nostalgia of those holiday days. However, I feel strong in detox.
  5. chi

    Diary

    day 24: Uncle from Germany arrived, so after my work i went for a little party. That day ended with drinking alcohol and talking with family. day 25: After work i went shopping, because i am going to Greece this weekend. I wonder when I had time to play on the computer. I do not play at all now, and I still have too little time. Peace!
  6. chi

    Diary

    day 23: Lazy sunday, father's day and a long trip on a bike.
  7. chi

    Diary

    day 21 Yesterday i met with my friends, we smoked a lot of MJ and did some random stuff, like riding a bike at 2 am in the park. day 22 I have been helping my cousin on the construction site all day. To the end of the day, i am going to meditate, and do some code 😉 I didn't have cravings while this time. I said without regret, that I am addicted gamer on detox. I repeat it to everyone I've ever played with.
  8. chi

    Diary

    day 20: Still not playing, i feel good overall. Today in Poland is free day, so I spent it learning Python, a bit electronics, riding a bike and smoking MJ. Peace
  9. chi

    Diary

    Hey, I was too depressed yesterday to write, so i post 2 days at once. day 18: From the morning i was in state in the middle of calm, and depress. That is mean I was doing good job in work, smiling and joking with people, but feel black hole inside me. That is huge part of me, that is cut now for ever. At noon, i has to take some sleep, because of short bedtime last night. After i woke up, i felt totally wasted. From this feeling, and from massive amount of bad emotions. The problem with playing is not only taking whole your time, but also guides you to stay away from your problems and emotions. When i lost my land of oblivion(games), the bad chi must pass in this dark moments of depress, sadness, guilty and malevolence. I could face it, but i choose an another option to escape into smoking MJ. After that i was feeling good and the minds get brighter... but after, the endorphin level still wasn't good, so i watched porn to fix it. I ended that evening on writing a tool to make a dictionary attack on Telnet Mud client of game i played... Just to train coding, or just to be closer to this hell of oblivion, with which we all fight against. day 19: That day i woke up a bit more happy. In work, I wasn't involved that much i must, but I was reading about soldering electronic circuits for my study object. I ordered few sets of interesting circuits to make at home, e.g. electronic buzzer to scary away mosquitoes, or check the capacity of car accumulator. After that i was on pizza with Spanish founders of Buguroo, IT security company, together with my colleagues. We are also kind of security company, but involving behavioural biometrics. After i came back to home, I smoked MJ again. I plan to end that day with meditating and practise some electronics. I wish to pass Electronics this semester, because of that University keeps me in place. Peace
  10. chi

    Diary

    day 17: Today was a good day. I did almost all tasks at work. I did not play, but I had cravings. My brain is looking to get around to the game, like programming scripts that can be useful in games that I've played. I was go-karting with friends from previous job and took 4/9 place, but the first 14 laps belonged to me. We played, who will have the best time on the lap. Also in the evening I smoked a bit of MJ and watched the totally numb episode of Rick and Morty. I realized that these 30 minutes were totally wasted. Then I went to meditate, calm down and go for a walk with my dog. I still do not feel the purpose in my life, just like games did.
  11. chi

    Diary

    day 15-16 Hey! The last two days I was doing a schematic of the electronic system - the Morse coder. Today I went to the university to show the layout of circuit to the PhD. The only thing I heard was that this arrangement is useless, and I probably will not pass this semester. The beauty of Polish higher education ... Well, it's a bit of my fault, because I started doing it quite late. I felt a little depressed, but hey! I will not make a weapon so easy 🙂 Today I will take a break from electronics, but tomorrow I will be back to work. As for the illness that has been bothering me for a week, I feel better and I am going to work tomorrow, although I am not fully healthy yet. Yesterday at the walk, I started dreaming about playing again. Fortunately, my compass works and I was able to quickly move my thoughts in a different direction. The brain begins to make up excuses, for example: after developing my favorite game programmatically, I will be able to be in its universe, and I will not formally play! It is a path to nowhere and it is known that the border would begin to blur. I wish you all a nice week! edit: What do you think about the photo i took yesterday night?
  12. chi

    Diary

    day 13-14: I was absorbed by the science of electronics. When I was playing, nothing could fascinate me because nothing gave such fun. Now I feel that I am slowly able to develop other passions because they please me. Hobby is what I missed. In the meantime, I felt a slight nostalgia to the times when I was playing and the nervousness. General well-being is good and better than ever when I played actively. Have a nice day!
  13. U talking about your relation with your brother and friends right? These are just excuses, act in accordance with your heart, and everything will be fine. This bound with brother will never expire, try to find another together activity. Remember, friends come and go all the time, but you and your real goals never! Good luck! 🙂
  14. chi

    Diary

    day 12: Another hot day, I had a very strong desire today to play. By noon I felt nervousness and doubt. Then I took care of other things and now I feel a little stronger in non-playing again.
  15. chi

    Diary

    day 11: Another day of treatment, there were moments when I was reminded of situations from different games. I can recognize in turn the feelings behind these memories: excitement, joy, sense of bonding, fear, happiness ... I forgive them slowly, without regret.
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