BooksandTrees

Hi, I played a song for you on my steel tongue drum today. It's not very good and follows no tune or notes. I just like the way it sounds because it's peaceful and happy. It reminds me of you because your life follows no specific path but you always find ways to be peaceful and happy. Sending love to you always. Matt 20201025_141228.mp4

Hi Everyone! I hit 2 years of gaming addiction freedom and wanted to share with everyone. I won't write the huge detailed post I wrote in the 500 day post I made this year because that took forever to write. I just wanted to say thank you for constantly supporting me and helping me with my problems and being here. Thank you!

Today I'm 104 weeks or also 2 years on my journey free from gaming. I can't believe it's been this long. I feel like a different person and don't really have the words to describe how much this means to me. I wrote a much more detailed post in my 500 days and 1 year away from gaming, but I am tired after that exam I took lol. I will say that I enjoy life more now and I feel so much healthier and better about everything in general. My health has improved both physically and mentally. I sleep more, I eat better, I communicate more, I live life more, I do new things and don't feel the pull to play games, I perform better at work, and I practice better hygiene, chores, and self care overall. Thanks to everyone who has commented over the past year to help. Some of the more helpful people from year 1 to 2 have been @Ikar @TheNewMe2.0 @Icandothis @Phoenixking @DaBest @seriousjay @Alexanderle @ceponatia @Amphibian220 and Vera who doesn't post here but I talk to her online still. Others have posted and talked to me, but these ones have talked the most. There are different people who helped me in the first year who no longer post here who I mentioned in my 1 year journal. If I left anyone who has ben impactful out I apologize. It's been a mentally draining month for me and I'm still recovering. Wishing everyone luck and health during these crazy times.

I journal before bed but if I'm distraught I journal immediately. I started with recording a podcast, then did yoga, then did floor hockey and volleyball. I stuck with hockey and volleyball and added rock climbing and 3d animation. That's up to you. I do 12 to 8. If I have a purpose to wake up for in the morning I enjoy waking up at 6 AM though. I don't think you should read self improvement books because most of it is recycled garbage from authors taking advantage of people. People read self help books to feel like they're improving their life but don't improve their life because reading requires energy and you have to actively put energy into quitting video games for the first few weeks. I recommend just journaling your thoughts, asking for help, seeking a therapist, and actively moving forward.

You need to analyze why you're craving them. Think about what mario kart and animal crossing provide. Mario Kart provides competition, brainless thinking that provides progress, colors, music, and success. Animal cross provides eternal life, a sense of community, peacefulness with no pain, and a sense of calmness. They're both shelter games. Are you going through trauma or stressful times? What emotions are causing you to crave that game? Once you figure this out, start researching other activities to deal with those emotions. Sports and work help me with competition. Meditation, music, tv, reading, dancing, walking, and art help me with calmness and mindless escape. Talking to friends and family helps me with community.

I think I can give some perspective on this since I've been here over 2 years. I've considered leaving the forums multiple times because I don't struggle with gaming addiction anymore. It is more of me just journaling and I often feel like I'm in the wrong place because of it. I also get upset when the connections I've made end up leaving. It's honestly like they've died because you form a bond with them and never see them again. It's hard to be emotionally attached to people online. It can also be frustrating when I try to give people advice and they don't listen or understand what I'm trying to say. I also get upset when I'm trying to get advice or help and get no responses. But to counter everything I've complained about above, I think I'm a role model here for some. I don't believe in role models because I think everyone in life can influence you, but I am not the same as everyone else. Sometimes you need a leader. That's why people look up to Cam. But I think people look up to me and read my journal for inspiration. I'm not trying to brag, I'm just using pure math here, but my diary has almost double the views and comments as the next closest and my introduction has almost triple the views and comments as the next closest person. This statistically means people are reading my diary because they've been able to relate to my struggles and want to see how I've succeeded. This has given me a feeling of responsibility. I feel like I need to be here now so I can help people quit and fix their lives. That's why I stay here. Sometimes I get frustrated when people don't listen to me but that's because we're all different. Quitting cold turkey worked for me and I was able to quit by my huge outlined post in the celebration forums, but that might not work for you or others. Others might need a slower approach or something and others might not be able to ever quit. I've grown more patience now because of it. I also like helping people and feeling connected to others. I also don't think enough senior members stay on this website and help people. I think now with about 10 of us who have been here over a year we can help newer members succeed, but a lot of senior members leave because they've moved on and want to put video games in the past. Once you cure an addiction you either stay around and help others get cured or you just need to separate yourself from the past entirely and move on to greener pastures and I think a lot of people just need to move on from the past and embrace their future. I just stick around because I trained myself to not be triggered by games anymore. I can sit in front of an xbox and not have any desire or craving to play it now. I've removed the emotion because of my hatred for the gaming community. Hope this helps.

I had the same issue. Have you tried using a hard foam block from yoga practice? I sit on the block and it makes my hips and lower back. I can sit there easily now without pain.

I agree with how fast the months have gone. I feel like I was so dialed in during my exam that I just worked, studied, journaled, and went to bed. I'm trying to slow down now. Do you think you'd benefit from a slower pace to things or do you feel that it's just something you've noticed with how fast this year has been?

Sorry you relapsed recently. I haven't been very active in the forums because of my exam. Relapse happens and it takes such a long time to build up that ability to move forward. But each step is a step in the right direction. Just remain true to yourself and be realistic. Don't be overly positive or negative during different swings. Take it in stride.

You aren't kidding! I thought I went to the wrong website. Thanks for the update!

Just wanted to say hi and that I'm thinking of you and hoping you're doing ok. Is everything alright?

I was reading on reddit about how everyone felt about the exam and apparently I'm not the only one who struggled. There's going to be massive petitions to redact a few of the questions. We'll see what happens. Thousands of people are saying how they flat out guessed on over 10 problems. I did the same.

Thanks. I took a week off with my personal vacation time and studied 12-16 hours per day. I took the practice exam and dominated. But it seems that everyone is in the same situation as I am and we all got very strange, difficult tests that tested us on stuff we've never seen. It's disappointing.

I took the test. The first half went really well but the second half was extremely difficult and I don't think I did well. To be honest, I think I didn't pass the test. So we will see. They asked some absurd questions and I wasn't a fan of it.

Thank you. I think it's important to know that I could learn material that I was interested in without taking breaks, but solving problems takes more thought. Video games depend. I think some games you can just keep playing but others are exhausting and your performance dips down. I just think the fun factor of gaming vs work pushes people over the edge. Plus it's an escape. If you ran a clan online and were in charge of others it wouldn't be as fun.

Welcome to the forums. There will be many days like this followed by days where you're constantly trying to chase this productivity and it can get you frustrated. Then it leads to cravings. Take this whole process in stride and be patient throughout it all. This is a great journey you're embarking on. Good luck.

Tomorrow's the day. I'm nervous but ready to do this. I want to give it my best shot and just find hope along the way. I really hope I pass. I mostly want it over with. The pressure is insane to pass. Or maybe it isn't and it's just all coming from me. Whatever it is, I'm taking it very seriously and I'm ready to compete and perform.

I finished studying today and took the practice exam. I got a 90 on it and finished with 3 hours remaining (2 in the first session and 1 in the second session. The second session was challenging, though. I'm going to try and just relax tomorrow and not study. I might read through my tabs just so I know where everything is, but that's it. I want my mind to be pretty fresh since I know I probably won't sleep well until this is all over. I'm really proud of myself for having the ability to study so intensely these past few days. One of my key traits I've been able to hone for my whole life is the ability to just do one thing relentlessly without fading out. I think that's why RuneScape and other online games appealed to me because I could do one thing forever seemingly. I kind of enjoy that narrow path with few options. It's peaceful. Applying that to real life is hard and it's important to split things up since it's not healthy to do stuff for that long so often. That's why a lot of us struggled to quit games. I had to accept the fact I could do something for an hour or two and move on. Sometimes I just enjoy doing something for 12-16 hours though. It puts me in a cool state of mind. My mindset going into this exam is that if I pass, wonderful, if I don't, then I learned a tremendous amount that I'll never forget and it will make me a better engineer regardless. I answered multiple questions I had about my career from studying for this test and feel better. I still have a job and a career no matter what happens on this test. I'm determined to pass and I will pass. Let's fucking do this!!!!!!!!!!!!

I plugged my air conditioner in. My bedroom is too hot. I tried opening windows and using a fan but it was too warm. I think that's why I've been struggling to sleep. I get into bed and immediately overheat. This is better.

I can't sleep again. I'm exhausted until I get into bed then I overheat and think. I've been thinking about playing sports all night. I miss playing sports. There's no greater feeling than being part of a team and competing together. It's my favorite.

I finally had a relaxing night and watched a movie before bed. I'm nervous for Friday but I'm determined. I'll feel better after studying tomorrow and doing the practice exam Wednesday. Sometimes on nights like tonight I wish I could embrace someone I love and have their support. I do wonder if one day I'll warm up to the idea of sharing my life with a woman again. We'll see what happens. But for now I'm proud of myself for chasing after a dream of mine and hopefully I get it.

I had a good day of studying today and will do more problems tomorrow and Wednesday and hopefully just relax on Thursday. Going to bed earlier tonight.

I'll give a more in depth response this weekend. Studying for the pe exam right now.

I slept better last night. Very thankful for that. Hoping to spend today finishing up my lecture problems.

I studied for 12 hours today and feel really good about it. I got so much accomplished today and am doing well on the problems I'm studying. I'm enjoying the topics a lot and could keep doing this. Because of the high volume of hours I put in this weekend I'll be able to have a more peaceful week where it's just doing practice exam problems all through the week until my exam on Friday. Altogether I studied for almost 24 hours this weekend and am very, very proud of myself. Now for some nice rest.