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Everything posted by WorkInProgress

  1. Consider me in the indifferent section :D. Good job on improving so much and facing your life head-on. - Sober for almost 15 months now - Keto for 1 month & been paleo with intermittent fasting for several months before - Lost over 10 kg - I hate working out, so I don't, but I enjoy long likes, so I do that. -> awesome! Im proud of you!
  2. Hey there. You are doing a lot right now. Working exercising studying. That is great but as you allready recognized can be dangerous. I am not saying stop moving but I merley suggest to go a little bit slower in the right direction. You wrote in the last 5 posts that you feel tired. Maybe it si time to search out some activities where you don't push yourself but instead jsut do them and try to enjoy yourself as much as possible. Meet with friends and family, phone, take walks for enjoyment. All these things have the double benefit of having positive impacts to your life (social, movement) without beeing goal focussed and requiring you to improve at them. I think it can be very tiring to be so hard on your self. The key is to do things that are good for yourself. this can but doesn't ahve to be hard work. I found the question "Is this good for me?" a great way to evalue things. Is occasional gaming good for me? I tried and realised it triggered a lot fo bad habbits and made me feel worse overall, without significant positive effects. so the answer is no. Is junkfood good for me? Again no Is working a lot good for me? It depends. do I work for higher goals and is the work in line with my priorities (family > health < progress in life). then yes. You get the jist. The thing I think especially valuable at this question is the flexibility it provides. The answers will change for every person and every phase of life. And it still will aid you in your decisions. My personal experience is that if you are able to do mostly things which you deem good for you will feel content with your life. If not you feel like something is off. If this is the case right now you should take some time to revesit your activities and ask yourself this question. Is this good for me?
  3. Week 8: 19. February 2018 - 25. February 2018 Results Exercise every day for 5min or more (check) do my work all my work tasks as fast as possible and only use half of the remaining time for programming estimate time on every task and plan it in my pomodoro calendar. (failed, because not a proper metric) Wear shirt, nice shoes and tie every day to work. ( Measurable goals for this week Exercise every day for 5min or more Wear a shirt and shave every day to work and buy new fitting basics. Leave a voice mail in telegram/whatsapp at 3 persons that are important to me daily. Reasons for goals I don't have the best wardrobe yet (so for example my tie doesn't look good with my more casual shirts). That is why I tried to buy some clothes on amazon but sadly they didn't fit well. So I'll need to buy some clothes in person in a shop. I spend a lot of time at work and at home with my wife and son. While these are great investments of time and in line with my priorities, I want to also let the other people outside my inner circle know that they are important to me.
  4. Cool stuff. Using your scripting powers for good.
  5. Thats awesome man! Let's continue this way up :)
  6. You can't you ahve ask an admin for assistance. But I am sure Hitaru, Cam or Stablish will help you out if you specify what posts you want to have deleted.
  7. Week 7: 13. January 2017 - 17. February 2018 Results cold showers [abandoned, 2/3 Weeks] exercise [3/3 Weeks] workout log [forgot 0/0 -> not priority] pomodori 50 [abandoned -> 0/3 Weeks -> to harsh] New measurable goals for this week Exercise every day for 5min or more do my work all my work tasks as fast as possible and only use half of the remaining time for programming estimate time on every task and plan it in my pomodoro calendar. Wear shirt, nice shoes and tie every day to work. Reasons for goals This minimum of exercise is needed to keep my muscles healthy at my desk job. I need to be a better employee to feel good about myself again. Not working and programming all the time under the hood of "learning" isn't authentic and makes me feel bad about myself. If I manage to supersede the expectations in me then I can use the existing free time to improve my self on faintly work related tasks. But only then. My time management needs to be extraordinary to be reliable and still be able to reach my personal goals. I listened to an audio book which implied that styling yourself more professional than needed influences people implicitly in thinking you are taking your job serious and are professional. It also helps you to feel more professional. This is what I am aiming for with this goal. I also enjoy being well-dressed so this is a win-win-situation even if I get some flack for it at work.
  8. Hey there I read you last entry and think you could benefit by J. Petersons lectures. He is a Professor at a canadian unversity and talks about Psychology, Sociology, Myths and Relgigion and connects them to the subjct of how you should live your live. I think he has some high level thougts about it and I think that he could really speak to you. Here is an example video. I can also recommend his book in the audioversion (12 Rules of Life: An antidote for chaos.)
  9. 29.01-2018 - 04.02.2018 (Part 2) I am doing shitty things lately so I want to write it down here instead of hiding from it. I have officially set aside 50% of my time to learn the programs and earn some certifications my company needs. This week I used this time to learn to program. The whole monday and 3 hours at Tuesday and Wednesday. This also meant that I wouldn't plan my tasks or keep myself accountable for anything else because: a job in software development seems still shiny and interesting and needs practice. Better I neglect my job then my family. Right! Right??? My original plan was to work an hour a day on the programming project. In all fairness it will help my jobskills because the mentioned programs are written in java (the language I am learning right now) and it is quite feasable that this Java kowledge will come to good use in the long term if I develop a plug-in for example. My awesome program whcih utilises a cool grammarlike structur to evaluate calculations in the command line won't do that to much though. The main thing is that I get my stuff ordered again. I think it somehow influences me in bad way that I never reach my work goals. So I kind of given up on my pomodori count. That is stupid. I think I adjust it to a period I can actually manage and then increase it. Like 6 pomodori a day. I can do this befor lunch and be done with it. And if something distracting come sin or meetings get in the way I am still able to do it consistently. I also need to study the things I should study, when I say I study them. I need to fulfill the promises I make to myself or otherwise I won't be so different then the person I was 2 years ago. No ambition no self-esteem nowhere to go then to the next binge. I need to be able to trust myself. Maybe I learned know that I still really like to get into software development and should make this a valid longterm goal (instead of managing and earning a lot of money). I also learned that my working routine is fragile and needs enforcement before I can rely on it. I will write a really basic day plan which i will follow every day. For this to work it needs to be simple and somewhat flexible
  10. Week 5: 29. January 2017 - 04. February 2018 Results cold showers (failed) every two days times upper body (2*12 PU / 3*5 R) (check) every two days core and Legs (60 sec planks / 60 sec hipraise / 20 lunges (each leg)) (check) pomodori 50 or more (failed) Next week cold showers excercise (upper boddy, core and legs) workout log pomodori 50
  11. 29.01-2018 - 04.02.2018 I changed the Format because I eat sweets again from time to time. This journal is meant to be open end now too. This will most likely damage my motivation to write in it a bit but make it more standarized which I feel like it is a good deal (I will reread teh stuff I wirte her periodically and am fairly motivated without a counter because I actually like journalling). Last week I did one warm shower. It felt great but my skin reacted pretty fast. I think I stick to cold showers for now. I also ate a lot of sugary things outside of home. It is really suprising how much sweets are thrown after you if you watch it closely. If I wanted I could easily eat some sugary crap everytime at office without paying for it. I will in future only eat sweets if someone baked/cooked it, otherwise I can jsut go back to binge-eat tons of choc. My workout routine seems to work out great. I sometimes didn'T do it at the weekend because My daily routine works only at work hours where I am awake at 4:30 and in total control of my time. I've made a nice daily plan and am able to somewhat do things repetedly in a routine way. I am not entirely sure but I think I gained some musclemass. in the chest. Maybe it is jsut fat after more sweets last week Atleast my stance is improving for sure which lets my chest muslce look bigger I guess. My working goals wasn't met again. It is actuallyquite hard to hit 10P/day if you have to do spontaneous tasks every day. These will cut into your pomodoros. Still my overall productivity is high and I slowly get a vision of my next few years working. I will prioiritize getting technical skills and then aim at a managerial role. I like to work with people and even sell stuff, but I want to feel the nerd in me first and be actually able to create some cool programms. I want to feel the power to let that damn computer do my bidding. This is why I will focus on getting my programming skills in the Java-Environment. The software I will consult other firms about is written in Java and I am aiming to writing plug-ins for it. It will also allow my to focus more on my OOD which is a weak point in my knowledge. It is pretty cool that I can choose to some degree what I am working on because I can justify learning java at my working hours if I keep the time investment reasonable and still get stuff done. I also try to fulfill my prioriites (Family first!) with beeing as invested as possible if I am home. My mobile phone should be loading and my thoughts and my focus is laying entirely on my son or my wife. This is something which needs effort because starting in the working live I got ambitious. But family is still my priority. So I need to act like it. I do so far but I need to watching me closely there.
  12. It is great that you experience life more intensely after youw ent away from gaming. I experienced the same thing. It happens if oyu use it long enough to escape bad feelings and stay stuck in the dopamine loop. You get insensitive for real life and everything seems to suck. Getting in touch with your emotions let you see what you really want (or not want). And just that is almost enough to come to a better place in life.
  13. https://markmanson.net/fear-of-missing-out
  14. My favorite game is life. Rabbit hole refugee. Addicted on live. Im in the middle of the ultimate game. (Back: It feels so real!) In reality their is no bonus-life
  15. You seems to struggle with a few things I struggled to in the past. A great book on the topic which helped me immensely to clarify my thoughts is "Models" from Mark Manson. You can check his website to see if you like his style and if he makes sense for you. Take this example article (https://markmanson.net/the-secret).
  16. Congratulations on deleting the Accound. I gave mine away to a friends little brother even before gamequitters. Still quitting lol was the turning point in my life. Away from gaming from 6am until my wife got back from work and telling her I studied. Away from this version of myself.
  17. Two things. Social dinking can eb a problem. Especially if your not used to it. The problem is that your decision making is getting worse the more your drink and it easy to losse control (that is the fun part also). I would advice you to stay with low percentage alcohols (like beer and wind) and drink plenty of water on the side. This way it easier to se the point where you should stop but still feel drunken. Towards the nofap thing I am not so sure abeut the benefit of it. I think it can be helpful to know that masturbation is a want and ot a need. You'll don't need to do it. It is just a habit. But to ban masturbation for eternety seems a bit rush. In my opionion it is important to ban porn out fo your life because it gives you this fast dopamine rush. Masturbation itself if it is done in the context of taking care of yourself and actually feeling what is going on with your body can actually be helpful to your own sexuality. I think even if you doing a nofap counter for some time I would advice you to limit it to a set period and then find a healthy way to do it without porn. Atleast that is my experience with it and I was missusing porn all the time in the past. Also good job on beeing more social. This is important. you social system aorund oyu keeps you healthy and happy.
  18. Feel free to share your podcasts if you want some feedback. Good job on producing an episode even if you feel unproductive.
  19. Hey good job on sticking to your comittments and reaching out to find other people. You say you don't want to have only casual conversations and that you need some time to feel comfortable around new people. It seems like it is hard for you to open up and to let your emotions through. But you have the desire to change that and you did take action to change it by reaching out to all these sites and searching for connection.Whilst it is good that you search for opportunities to meet new people I would ask you to try to be more open with the people around you. BE more social with them and try to share your feelings in a way that they understand what is going on with you. Don't get me wrong: in my opinion this is quite a challenge. If I could give you any advice from my distant point of view, I would say focus on the way you behave in social situations. Try to aim for friendly, open and optimistic. Try to be interested in what's going on in their life. Try to find the hidden treasures in the experiences of the people around you. If you can do this it will be easy to find interesting beautiful people everywhere. If you then move away or find a group of like minded people it will be easy to get to know these new people because you learned that everyone has interesting storys to share.
  20. Great Video wich summs up what I learned about Focus in the last 2 years. It isn't mine though. Especiallay the Priority list was a new technique I'll try out.
  21. Week 14 (22. -28.01.2018)! I did eat sugar at work and I am not sure if this was a great idea. I think I'll stop doing this except someone brings something homemade. I also failed my Coffee goal. I felt like it wasn't worth it because the headaches seems to be not correlating. I think it was the 8giurs of staring at a screen and I got used to it know. Because the headaches didn't come as I started drinking more coffee. But I keep my eyes open and watch my reaction. All in all it wasn't a great week because now it starts to get harder and my ideals and dreams go back a bit and routine comes into the picture. I am still very lucky with this job but I'll need to work on my discipline that such weeks stay exceptions. Connected wuite a bit with a coworker at a lunchbreak and I feel like I start to understand the social structure of my work team. I am determined to be a positive person and impact the team in beneficial way. It seems to work so far. I almost finished another audiobook and doing quite a good job at listening to my wife and using my time at home to the fullest. After some delivery issues my new laptop wasn't shipped and I got a refund. I don't have time right now to programm or do anything productive so I don't need it and will safe the 700€ to invest in some machinery at home. I'll also start to invest 300€ and try to learn by doing. I think I'll need to know more about money after I read rich dad poor dad. Because I want to be financially indepent. For this goal I need to be great at work, climb the latter and know how to invest my money profitiably. So this will be the start of this knowledge part. Could be a fun hobby too.
  22. Week 5: 29. January 2017 - 04. February 2018 Results Coffe only after 4 Pomodori (failed) cold showers (check) 10 PU / 12R / 20S (check) Pomodori min 50 (failed/31) Next week cold showers every two days times upper body (2*12 PU / 3*5 R) every two days core and Legs (60 sec planks / 60 sec hipraise / 20 lunges (each leg)) pomodori 50 or more
  23. Hey don't be sorry if you don't feel like commenting somewhere else. This side is for you. This is your journal. It is cool if you want to help others and comment on their pages but it is also cool if you don't. This is the nice thing about beeing a part of this community. Do what is good for you and people will not be hurt. Your only responsibility here is your own detox.
  24. These times are never pleasant. But it can be very helpful if get challenged emotionally. This will help you to know yourself better if you take the time to think about why you are reacting this way.
  25. Hey I hope you'll be able to whether the storm. What ever it is.
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