Cam Adair

Great post, Ed!

Awesome to hear your update. The thing is, the reason most people don't have more interesting conversations is because someone in the conversation has to take the initiative, so unless that's you... the chance of you having a more interesting conversation is very low. Why hope someone else will take initiative instead of just taking it yourself? The next reason is because there is a lack of context for the conversation, so by using a "baiting statement" you give the conversation more context, and thus make it easier for the conversation to flow. That's all it's really about.

Any idea what is causing anxiety for you? Have you been worrying about anything in particular? Do you notice your anxiety increases after you think about different subjects? It might be worth doing a status check - think about finances, health, the next 6 months, work, etc and see if your anxiety increases during any particular subject.

Awesome to read your so mindful of your diet. I eat a very low processed foods diet as well. I would caution you on apple juice, since apple juice has a tremendous amount of fruit sugar. It's like eating 12 apples. You wouldn't eat 12 apples, you'd eat one or two apples. Just something to consider. I don't eat cereal personally. On another note, if you have the opportunity to do a summer in Africa, DO IT. Travel such as this can only lead to major positive life benefits, now and in the future. Just trust me on this one.

Sticker en route to you Tom!

Awesome to hear things are going so well. One cautionary note: When we start doing well and have momentum, we feel like we've got this and it's easy for us to forget what brought us there in the first place. At first we do well, but over time (due to us abandoning the habits that built the momentum in the first place), our momentum slows and eventually we wonder why things aren't going so well anymore. It's easy to justify in the moment, we're busier, things are going well and we're optimistic about the future. I've been in this spot many, many times. So just make sure in this moment, you double down on the habits that have contributed to you bouncing back so well in 50 days, and don't get complacent. With the right approach (the right continued habits), your momentum will continue to build and snowball day after day.

Yes. People project onto you just as much. That's why taking things personally is usually not accurate. It's not about you.

Great job Alex. The benefits of working out are tremendous. Better heart, you live longer, etc. So if you like living, and you want to live as long as possible, having consistent regular exercise is a must.

Hey man! Working a few more hours is definitely a great idea. Plus it will take up some more of your time, which does two things: 1) You have less time to fill and thus, less time to potentially be bored, etc. 2) Because you have less time, you're more motivated when you do have time to make the most of it. Just remember that the best thing you might be doing for your brother and mother is creating a bit more distance. First of all, if they aren't open to your ideas of personal growth, you're likely annoying them with your ideas - and that's causing rapport within your relationship to falter. Next, if you do want to help them, being the best example of what you speak of is step one. Be the role model for them. I've seen that within my own family - as I've taken my diet more seriously, so have they. As I've gone after my dreams more, so have they. Because I'm leading by example, not preaching a gospel I'm not living myself. Also, it's awesome to hear how passionate you are about your family. Just remember that you get to define what "family" is. I have many people in my life who are family, who are not "blood." In life we use these different words, and many times these words come with social conditioning we've had growing up. An example is "successful." To many that means having a nicer car, a nicer house, nicer clothes, etc. Because that's what we've been conditioned to think the word means. When in reality, successful can mean anything we want it to mean - we get to define it for ourselves. BUT If we don't define it, then it has an influence in our life we may not have chosen or be aware of. For instance, if we don't consciously define the word successful, we will live the definition society set for us. So we must consciously define these words and what they mean to ourselves. ALSO Just because in the future when you do have a family you may not be more available for other people, and rightly so, that doesn't mean you neglect to form these relationships and bonds with people on your journey to that destination. Maybe these relationships you have in the meantime are important for you to get to that destination. Finally, I have an "uncle" (again, not blood) who has been very important to me in my life, he's the closest person to me outside of my parents. He was a friend of my parents when I was born and he's always stayed in touch and been in my life. To me, he's my uncle. I have "blood uncles" who I have never even spoken to on the phone. They've had very little to do with my life. Whereas this "uncle" has always been there for me, spent countless hours on the phone with me during depressions or breakups, etc. He's family as much as anybody I've ever known. And he truly will be there for the rest of my life (and his.) There's no doubt about that. So I'm thankful my parents had friends that they had good relationships with and although 90% of those I have never spoken to or known (relationships drift over time, especially as family's are developed)... some do remain and those will be important over the long-term. So don't discount the importance of having these quality relationships now (for the health of your journey towards starting a family) and for the potential health of expanding your "family" as life evolves.

Creating boundaries at home is important. I think the plan you've come up with sounds good. As someone who has worked for himself for 7 or more years now I definitely relate to the lack of understanding from those who work a more traditional schedule. It's just a different reality in many ways.

Awesome to hear your update. The date sounds perfect. Funny how she mentioned it was relieving for her that you were willing to be assertive. Women crave this, but most men walk on eggshells around women and never take that initiative. Women want adventure, and when you're the one willing to step up to create it, you'll see a major difference in how they respond to you vs. how they have in the past.

The change of seasons right now is affecting many of us. I think we'll get used to it soon. The light should help.

It could just be the change of seasons right now affecting you. I know I've been feeling it quite a bit.

Good day after good day after good day.

Great to have you back with us, Tom! The Wisdom of Psychopaths looks interesting, I may need to pick it up soon!

It's amazing what happens when we start to notice how we project our feelings on others hey?

Hey Colonel! Great to have you here with us. There are actually quite a few Game Quitters in their mid-30s right now, so it's never too late to turn things around and we're here to support you.

Haha such an amazing story. Thanks for sharing.

Sounds like a great day! Definitely recommend to continue hiking regularly. Reconnecting with nature is valuable as you move away from the digital world.

Anytime brother!

I haven't been to Lofty Coffee, think I've only hung out in Solana Beach so far. Can't wait to hear how the coffee goes. Also, what you did (spontaneous coffee) is exactly what you want to be doing.

Hey Eden! Thanks for the reply. Sorry for my delayed response, I wanted to ensure I had the time to read your response with my full attention. YES. I currently have a section I'm working on called "Gaming and your brain"... so I think that could be a great bridge for those on the fence (leaning to gaming). I've actually been thinking more and more about how I introduce Game Quitters to everyone, and I think I may begin to start from the detox side of it (try 90 days) and then introduce the rest of the Game Quitters mission from there. I'm working on this sequence right now. Much of what you've shared is exactly what I'm working on right now, within the book. I have 120 of the latest scientific papers on internet addiction, gaming addiction, compulsive gaming, and just as a quick note, much of what you've shared is correct - especially as it relates to gaming and depression/social anxiety. They are linked. Thankfully I have a few mentors in my life who are able to help me put all of the science together, so I'm grateful for that. I'm also grateful for your help and would love to keep you up to date on how everything is going - you have an ability to articulate our vision very well.

YES. I wonder if we could compile a list of these sorts of things. I do a few as well, I'm trying to remember them right now. They'll come back to me.

Every day isn't going to be perfect... even almost the entire month of October was difficult for me and I felt like I barely got anything done... but this month so far has been much better. It ebbs and flows, keep learning.

Love sushi. Sushi is bountiful here in Vancouver - and because of that, it's soooo cheap. I'm going to have it for lunch today in your honor.