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Vlad

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Everything posted by Vlad

  1. Day 15 A so-so day. I wasn't overly productive, procrastinated on a few client requests, but have done the most urgent ones. I worked out well and ate clean. Hopefully with a lot of water my today's upshot in body weight will go down in my weight journal as a singular peak due to yesterday's one-off carb indulgence. I came to an understanding of what people talk about refering to free time blues. Today in late evening of the last work day I had an urge to play either something where I can associate myself with a cool protagonist or an old (2005) strategy game where i can crush ancient civilizations. I take it as that I'm not feeling my real-world progress or at least in control today and sure want those feelings. Good thing I don't have a console or the games handy so it's easy to let the urge get noticed and dismissed.
  2. Good job! A day at a time. What cool stuff do you want to do that will more pleasant and intense than gaming?
  3. Vlad

    Day 6!

    I feel you on the nostalgia thing, it comes to everybody. What are your reasons for quitting games? What are you trying to accomplish by that?
  4. @Hitaru what's the big deal? I mean it's your life and the choice is totally up to you. If you feel like being a politician be one. Your family is just being protective not unsupportive and they will stay the same until you prove you're in charge and that you're willing to take responsibility. When you start taking care of them they will come around and will be proud of you. They may even not show it but they will be proud and grateful deep inside. I thought that my family was unsupportive when I quit a high-paying career to start a business. They probed me with questions and expressed scepticism for years. I have literally bet my life on my success and turned profitable, but even that didn't help. I openly discussed the lack of support that was bothering me with my mom. Her answer staggered me. She just said that I just shouldn't listen to her or my brother. Later she gave me an old book (don't remember the name) about practical conflictology. The book had a small chapter, that stressed that you only flip out in a conflict if you doubt your own agenda. And the puzzle came together: it wasn't them all along, it was me! I doubted myself, I had second thoughts. That was the tough love I needed way more than love-dovey hand holding to grow. After that realization I decided to choose my own road and be fully accountable. Since then I put my vision first and never feel bad about people having doubts or different opinions on my course of action. I'm pretty sure that you don't want to be an old man that eventually comes to understand that you have lived you life to please other people. By that time those people will not give a flying fuck anyways. So, if you feel that you're destined to become the greatest dictator ever, then guess what? The world has it coming. How are you going to reign over people if you need others to pat your back? By the way Hitler originally wanted to be a painter/artist/architect, the world works in mistrerious ways. So pursue your passions, in the end it's only your game. And don't worry about the NPCs around you, they have games of their own. Some of them are around you to be your competition and try to do you in. Don't sell yourself short, be who you want to be. Myself, I'm more into freedom and money as a medium of that freedom. I'm passionate about having enough capital and it being diversified enough that no government has an authoritarian say in my life. I my never reach that state, but it's my passion and I care what no one thinks about it. Try reading or listening to chapter 11 of Ayn Rand's Anthem. Makes my eyes tearful with joy every time. Btw I'm not a fan of Ayn Rand at all. I think most if her shit is naive and ridiculous. She fled Russia at a very young age and tends to romaticize the evils of soviet socialism, probably because she didn't have a taste of the from-head-to-toe corruption of the real thing.
  5. Vlad

    Skaliq's Journal

    Special snowflake attitude, dark humor and clothes, girls wearing lingerie stockings, bangs dyed in purple, black eyeliner, red lines painted in your wrists with ketchup or ink, a morbid hate for your parents and society, bisexual experimentation ending in codependent straight relationships involving lots of bad quality picture slideshows with "My Immortal" as background made using Windows Movie Maker, high-pitched obnoxious screaming during group meetings in shady places of town made infamous among normies for aforementioned reason, anime character impersonations and threats to violence and self-harm were what being emo was about in my teens ^^ Disclaimer: I wasn't a true emo since I didn't dress up as one nor take pictures. God how I regret not doing it. "Adapt to society", said Mom, "It will be fun", said Mom. I hate you Mom, now I'm going to listen to some more Evanescence. you should make a stand up about
  6. Great job staying on track!
  7. Day 14 It was a very good day-off with my girlfriend. Tried flying as a ride-along / training co-pilot on Aero L-29 Delfin. It's a two pilot small military jet that used to be the standard jet trainer for the air forces in the post-soviet countries. The pilot did a number of aerobatic maneuvers in the 20 mins ride. The first barrel roll was really breath-taking after that the ride was all pure pleasure. During the bottom parts of loops the overload was up to 7Gs. We didn't go past 7Gs as the pilot told me that from his experience 100% of people without pre-training lose consciousness at about 8Gs. Even 7Gs felt like my eyeballs were trying to jam into the skull. The whole experience was very exciting. My favorite part was 10 seconds of zero gravity while being upside down. Even while being tightly strapped-in I could feel an out of this world lightness. So amazing! I've now idea what manuever caused it but it was really awesome. I guess the experience might have ruined theme parks for me. Probably I'll go skydiving in some time, but I want to be lighter to make landing easier on my legs. On a less awesome note, I ate about 3 times the amount I usually eat as my girlfriend cooked a lot and we went to a movie that evening and got snacks. I'll get back on my diet now.
  8. Vlad

    Skaliq's Journal

    I would choose a major that pays well and where you have an advantage in the domestic market, something that is harder to outsource. I would stick to a majot that has real world application. I'm sure that with time and enough exposure to the demands of the labor market you will find your niche. For now I would stick to something that gives you the most opportunities and flexibility.
  9. Bob, you're doing well! As for soda, you probably should try an rearrange your schedule so that you're less exposed to it.Like maybe set a pattern of going to the grocery stores at specific times when you're in ok mood and aren't hungry / craving for sugary soda. As for porn, bro I don't know. It's just too easy to access. Some other motivation maybe. Anyways, I'm proud of your progress, keep it up!
  10. Day 13 Today was fine apart from bad news about my old car and being generally late on my work plan. Months of staying in the garage have turned my old car to shit. Now I need to repair it first. I didn't lose much in terms of money, but it really pisses me of. I felt devastated after checking the car more thoroughly, because it's all my fault. It felt like a faceplant on a flat surface. What a fucking moron! I'll feel sooo much better when I sell it. I must declutter my life. On that note I probably should also quit Tinder, as it has become my new distraction. It was useful on occasions, but I don't have the time to date around and most certainly have no business checking out and liking more girls than I humanly have time for. No gaming, already as usual I guess. @Skaliq thank youor good advice, I've seen the summary of the book, looks very reasonable, will read. @Mettermrck thank you for consistent support.
  11. Day 12 An ok day. The amount of business stuff I need to do is overwhelming. I probably used to rationalize gaming at times like that as a way to cope with stress. I think I'm breaking that pattern because I don't have a console anymore, so I just can't play. I used to rationalize that games may inspire me to better myself, which wasn't true. I've had a propensity to save since a young age. Imaginery world of games was an outlet, because I could spend made-up currency on made-up shit all I wanted. Now that I'm in the real world 100% of the time my needs are growing, so does my obligation to make money to afford those needs. I've made the first step to start selling my old car to free up some cash to cover expenses in the summer off-peak season. It's been in the garage for such a long time that the battery died and the tires becam flat. Today some mechanics are coming over to change tires and jump start the car. Then I'll wash it, clean it and post an ad.The legal procedure is what was scaring me, but I'll push through it since I need to. The company that's cooking my meals have come up with a new plan that's lower in calories, now it's going to be 1,900-2,000 kcal per day instead of 2,400 kcal. I've switched to that, so now I have to add some fruits and berries to my diet as my BMR is around 2,200. Very good news. Due to stress I struggling with urges for caffeine or some other stimulant, which is stupid, plus I'm done with it. I've got energy to spare, but I seriously lack in concentration. What do you do to improve concentration?
  12. I'm sorry about your hardship. Our loved ones need us to be strong. I'm sure that you are a strong man and will make it through. I'm in a temporary cashflow ass of a situation myself, but it's the direction we're moving in that matters in the long run. Yes, you can, bro! As for more social pleasant activities, maybe you can find a board game club or a social dance club nearby. I like these both activites. Plus, the latter always reeeeeally need more men. I'm positive that they will be glad to wlecome you. Just pick something easy on the joints to begin with.
  13. Good to have you with us! 60 days is great indeed, a sure indicator you can do 90 instead. What's a K-9 btw?
  14. Bob, great job! A significant increase in appetite may be a sign of you pushing too hard in respect to a weight loss goal. Keep your workouts steady, not too hard and energizing. Blues are no joke, you have to reinforce your drive by giving yourself a healthy treat (in a broad sense, not like a candy etc.) after you sum up a period of time. It seems to me that a week is your period of choice. That's why you probably mentally sum things up on Sundays and feel like you're at a small crossroads. I suggest you do something pleasant on Sunday if you did well that week. Go to a theme park, a movie or go get a massage etc. That way your mind will be sure that you're doing something positive and you will have more motivation. Congratulations on coming close to an uncharted territory!!! I haven't been below 220 lbs myself for at least 2 years and feel excited to go there, and your soon-to-be achievement is even cooler. So respect for that and best of luck. And respect for your consistency!
  15. Day 11 An ok day. Less energy today, got some work done, workout went well. As a part of my marketing courses i have to enhace my social media accounts and I find that overwhelming. I used to have very few photos of me taken. i was uncomfortable due to my excess weight. Now I have to work on that on purpose. I suddenly realized that I've been buying little new clothing in the last 2 years. Now I have to look better. So, I must set a clothing budget that I must spend every month. Also I must get to ~220 lbs by the 1st of September, so i look better on 3 business photoshoots I have planned for that date. It's an almost perfect pace, because I'm now at 230 lbs and I have almost 5 weeks to do lose weight. I'm tense when I think about my new challenge, but I know that it's a must and it will guide me in the right direction. Plus now I need to make more money to spend on my looks and further down the road on people that will assist on social media marketing (SMM) of my businesses. It's a little funny how I started SMM to make more money and that it made me realize that I have to improve my life, and for that I need to make even more money. A tiny mindfuck
  16. I sincerely wish you success and will support you. We do better with mutual support. Stay up)
  17. That I'm good at making excuses as to why I should play games. Sherlock bro
  18. Actually I've no idea yet hopefully a well-functioning one. I'll fill you in on the details when I get to know.
  19. Vlad

    Skaliq's Journal

    I'm glad to hear you're getting along great with your family! I can remember only soundtracks from FIFAs and GTAs, and they had some wicked game music!) But I guess the songs are mostly way too energetic to feel waves of nostalgia. Studying Chinese is so cool!
  20. @Cam Adair I hope I can meet up with you guys in September. I've been thinking of surfing in Portugal for some time now. I'm a surfing noob though. Plus it would be terrific to go to Port Aventura near by Barcelona in the same trip! @Hitaru What region of Spain do you live in? This short trip is gonna be EPIC!)
  21. Right on, bro! Both thumbs up) How do you feel at a lower weight? Did your energy level get better? Proud of you, fitness man! You are as is the protagonist and designer of an all-genres-in-one game. I know you can make it the most intelligent and thought provoking game ever. And, yeah, you're right they're not making them like they used to.
  22. Very good going, Tom! As for your friend, I don't know the situation, but from my experience it's never black and white with people. Friends are people too, and people make mistakes. Even the best friends are not perfect. I find holding grudges excruciating. Discuss, forgive or get revenge if you insist (get even) and move on with a mutual understanding on where you stand. I heard a funny saying with which I tend to agree: "the world is square, everybody gets to meet around the corner". Who knows, you might need each other or enjoy each other's company someday. On loneliness: people can be lonely when alone, with somebody, in a small or a large group, on a stage or in a crowd - literary anywhere. It's all about the perspective. If you genuinely care about and take care of something or somebody: plants, pets, children, parents, relatives, friends, girlfriends, maybe some cause, etc - you own it all in a sense. You have all those beings and causes in the world that need you. Of course they may act out, disobey or not match what you want them to be, but they still need you. Coming to realize that, there's no way in hell you can be lonely if you just look beyond yourself. It may be somewhat counterintuitive, but you only grow stronger out of neccesity, caring about others is such a neccesity. Don't be sad, the world needs you, bro.) And great job finding your inspirational music, motion for emotion.)
  23. Awesome update, bro! Godspeed.
  24. Day 10 A good day. Forget games, I'm hooked on marketing. In short: spent early morning with my girlfriend, sold my last obsolete CFA books online, got some work done, went for a short walk, wanted to go lift but didn't as it's scheduled for tomorrow along with a stretching session, got started on a social media campaign for one of my businesses, took up a second parallel course in practical marketing (just in time), worked till late and liked it. I badly need to delegate better, as I know for sure about my preferences in business processes. I tend to put marketing first and sometimes procrastinate on the operations, admin and IT fronts. I'm very angry at myself for that but it's tough make myself do otherwise. Btw my girlfiend has given me a ticket to a fun ride-along on a military jet for birthday. I sure hope to keep my shit together so i don't look like a pussy in her eyes. She's scheduling it for Thursday 8/03. I've never done that and I will be glad to tell you if I pass out or piss myself in the process. So, stay tuned.) No interest in gaming today.