30_yrs_of_gaming

Day 37 - No gaming. After 4 quality days with the kids, last night ended with extreme drama. I won’t even mention it here because I’m trying to manage myself better. Thanks.

Excellent job, man! Impressive. Keep going. ?

Day 35 - No gaming. Quality time with my children. Lots of small wins. Must be patient. Grateful.

Day 32 - No gaming. Spent some time with my children. Lots of small wins. The big negatives seem looming though. Ugh. The day is just starting and it feel I’m in such a battle. Turning up the heat on my prayer life today. Whether this divorce goes through or not, I want to be a better person in the end. I’ve also decided to wait for my wife and learn how to be patient enough to win her back even if that happens AFTER the divorce goes through. A whole month without gaming. I’ve been here before. Need to keep up the good work.

Day 28 - No gaming. My oldest son betrayed my trust by taking our texting sessions about the divorce to his mom. Dumb. I'm going to fly away in 2 days.

Day 26 - No gaming. I've been distraught over the divorce. My closest friend and advisor questioned my sanity today. I'm emotional. He's tired. The past few days have been my darkest. I'm getting a psych eval and talking to my lawyer before I move forward. My parents are the only people I can trust right now.

Day 23 - No gaming. Wife said I can sign divorce papers with her or she will file solo and send them to my parents house. I don't believe there are good reasons for it. We vowed to love each other the rest of our lives. Life comes with hardships. We vowed to face it together. But it doesn't matter. She doesn't love me anymore. That's enough for today.

Day 19 - Game Free. Personal life so shitty right now. Well, time to get after it.

Not sure why I can't "heart" other peoples comments from mobile, but I do appreciate the feedback. ☺

Day 16 - Game Free. Listening to audio books. Working out. Reading hard copy books. Tried to mildly socialize Wed & Thurs. Still in stalemate with Mrs. Talked to a special friend from 20 years ago for 7 hours straight the other night. Holy Cow! We have a lunch outing scheduled when I travel abroad in a few weeks. Eating moderately healthy. Sleep erratic.

Day 13 - What's up my game quitting trench warrior soldiers against the darkness!? Some days, I kill it at the gym. Reading like a scholar, and sometimes nibbling. Eating okay. Sleep is freaking trashed to hell. The Mrs. is not communicating. She wants none. Have a call in a bit to situate an appropriate legal posture. Not going to law against her. Wanting to put up a good defense as a man with his shit together. Been watching Netflix late into the night. Cutting that out after watching one last final episode of the show tonight. I have so much to live for. Sure my relationship is practically dissolved, but it's a big world out there. Lots to see and do. I choose life over laying down to wallow in misery and die. I sort of hate my life, but it is my job to go forward. No one will do this for me. Take care. Be strong. Staying on the move. Can't hang out here too long.

Day 9 - Game Free Called a friend that I hadn't spoken with in almost 20 yrs. Wow. Great conversation on life stuff. He recommended some reading to add to mine. Listening to Atomic Habits. Job going well. Stay strong out there.

Enjoyed catching up on your journal today. You should be congratulated. You are doing so well. Happy for you! Keep going.

Right on, man. Glad I could help. Keep up the good work.

Checking in. So my family situation has gotten exponentially worse unfortunately. There are layers of crazy that I won't even describe. Threats, lies, exaggerations, etc etc As a leader, I take responsibility, but I can't accept accusations that are untrue or grossly disproportioned. Anyways, I fell off the wagon and began gaming again to cope with the isolation, depression, and lonliness. It's better than being tempted with porn or alcohol or worse... While I'm being told I'm a total loser and a deadbeat, I'm still paying ALL the bills and talking to my children at least once a week. I got promoted at my job. My laptop was mailed out last week because it was shorting out and powering down for no apparent reason. I've been sent to a place for work with disgustingly slow internet. So, I'm back on board. Still reading lots. Working out at least 3 nights a week. GAME FREE FOR 8 DAYS! When I get back home, I have a week before heading to the city to see my children. Then I'm off to see my parents. I will have no real temptation to game until towards the end of August which will be a real test. In the meantime, here I am. I feel like things got harder, but better in some ways. It may get worse before my trial is over.

Day 31 - Back from traveling. Rough trip. Some positives and negatives. Not much to say tonight. No gaming. Cravings high.

Day 19 - No gaming. Some very serious work related stuff. Not too bad. Tempted to game. Supposed to get on a plane in the morning if weather is good. See you all in about 10 days.

You're killing it, man! Right on. ?

That's some serious motivational reading right there! Thank you! Wow...

Day 18 - Rollercoaster relationship with the Mrs. Missed hitting the weights twice, but killing it on the treadmill. Cravings seem higher when I am happy at the end of the day. I'm NOT going to journal while out visiting my family in the city. Leaving the laptop here so there should be no temptation to do any gaming. No gaming. Satisfied this evening.

That's just wild. I had not heard this before. I knew about the dopamine addiction issues, but shrinkage of the frontal cortex? Wow. Do you have any sources for this type of thing? Thanks and keep up the great work.

Good job. Be strong. Keep it up. One day at a time. ?

Commit and don't settle. Once you finish 90 days then you can evaluate and change directions. Make it a hard line goal. Force yourself to fill time with ANYTHING else as a substitute. Be strong. You CAN do this.

Good job being true to yourself, man. Keep being strong.

Day 16 - No gaming. Stayed busy. Enjoying the sunshine. Chores. Flexing hours from lots of calls for work over the weekend. Radio silence from the Mrs. 3 days until travel leave.