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Question of the week: What's your favourite quote?

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  1. @taichi 👊 @30_yrs_of_gaming, It's only up from here on out. 🙂 Day 25/90 Not much to say today, a bit worn out, but wanted to make a post to greet these individuals above me. I'm almost at that monthly milestone now. I think some of the key factors in achieving this milestone have been minimal exposure, keeping busy, and having a replacement for gaming. It's really just the advice @dahankus gave me. Embracing a new lifestyle without gaming, porn, and all that internet novelty.
  2. @Ikar, thanks for the support man. And for sure it's definitely better than nothing, with those documentaries you learn something new everyday. Best wishes to both of us, and whoever is reading this as well. Day 22/90 I'm not too consistent with these diary entries anymore, but I can say it's in the back of my mind throughout the days or weeks. Quitting video games definitely did help me. I remember whenever I was doing something else, my mind was always ready to get back into another gaming session. I was always an emotional wreck when I played games. I was angry for no reason. Sad for reason. A lot of emotions spurred up, and I could never contain it. Science may refer to this as a symptom of the reduction of the hippocampus probably? I mean I played a lot of MMORPG games, and it's possible to say that the grind caused a lot of shrinkage in the frontal cortex region of my brain. It kind of scares me, because I feel like I lost myself in the process. Will I improve? Science says so. I think so too, but I can't help feeling like a damaged product. It reminds me a lot about a book I read in school about an abusive relationship. The breaking nature of it: losing whatever spine you have left in you, losing pieces of yourself, and worse, becoming addicted to that kind of pain. I lost a lot, but it doesn't have to be that way from now. Like in the book, I'm leaving it all behind, and now I'm doing my best to gather those pieces lost in the process. Those pieces of myself. My confidence. My body. And more importantly, my freedom. I just wish I had done so sooner, but life happens for a reason I guess. The book is called Dragonslippers by Rosalind B. Penfold, in case of whatever copyright madness is going on in today's world. It's a great book/graphic novel, and I'm happy that individual or rather individuals shared their story to the world. So what now? I got to keep reminding myself. What am I going to do from now on? I don't have the exact answers, and I hardly think most people do, but I do know gaming isn't a part of it. Nor is pornography, drugs, or today's media. I have a vague idea, and I think it might be simpler than what I expect. I tend to overthink things, but I guess it's just finding whatever makes me happy where I'm not putting other's at stake for my own happiness? Independence maybe. Anyways enough of my little rant. Until next time. Game free forever.
  3. Day 20/90 Unfortunately, I have not been able to keep up with my words. I missed a lot of days of documenting. Things have been busy for sure, and fortunately, because of that, I managed to stay away from video games. However, sitting here now, I really feel the accumulated stress from these past two weeks. Admittedly, that stress might have induced motives for watching videos related to gaming. Streamers and YouTube. And because of that, I found out or rather just confirmed how intoxicating the internet can be. There's a long list for why I think so, but for simpleness, there's a lot of indirect and direct influences. Some good. Some bad. But I think it's better to just stay off of it in general. The bad just outweigh the good by such a large margin. For the mean time, I'm still game-free forever. I don't have plans going back. I lived my moment, and now I am moving forward. My actions lately have contradicted. I know. But as long as I keep moving forward regardless of the situation, I'm sure I'll make the journey. Focus. Focus.
  4. Day 8/90 Not much to say today, but I'm making a lot of progress. Just got to be patient and maintain a positive attitude.
  5. Person

    Ikar's Diary

    Hey I checked out your journal! It's pretty awesome that you decided to start working on yourself considering your girlfriend's decision to take time off. My first relationship started off really needy. I was really too dependent on her for my own happiness. Things didn't go to well, but I guess you live and learn. I'm happy you weren't too stagnant from that feeling of withdrawal, and made a decision to help yourself. 👍 So best of luck man. Really digging the positive attitude you have.
  6. Day 7/90 Next milestone 21 days? 😊
  7. Day 6/90 Almost a week. It's amazing seeing the days go by. When I was considering quitting video games for good, I always countered myself with the idea that I couldn't live without games or at least the thrill of it. But I guess it's like that saying, "life goes on". I'm still alive. A bit over dramatic. But still alive. Of course, the feeling still surges whenever I think about the memories from gaming. But I think that's just the dopamine working in my brain, just looking for a little spark. I'm sure it'll numb out in time. So cheers to a lifetime, game free and living free.
  8. @Ikar, beautifully said man. There's definitely something for both parties in the process. I was always concerned about myself, my time, when I was out with someone. A lot of things went underappreciated. Though, I'm still not sure if that attitude of mine has entirely changed. Quitting games did strip some of that pressure, but it's something I need to work on still. @ElectroNugget, thank you and Cam for the book recommendation. I will check it out when I have the chance. And I agree, a lot of things go underestimated, especially journalling in my case. 😌
  9. Day 5/90 I watched this video the night yesterday after the daily entry, and I think it really resonated with me. I often asked myself the why, why I did this or that, and found more reasons to cringe at my past self. I can ask myself all these questions like: why did you play games in the first place? Why did you play for 10 hours straight everyday? Why didn't you find any better to do your life? But in the end, that kind of self reflection just found more problems within myself. So instead of asking the why, I'm going to try to ask myself the what. What am I going to do so I don't end up like back then? I think first is dropping video games out of my life. Second is learning about the harm caused over in my brain over the years from all the dopamine jacking, which I am learning through an website called Your Brain on Porn. I believe the concepts stated in this website transfers over to gaming as well. Thirdly, finding out what kind of life I want to live after gaming? It's hard to answer the third question, since I think right now my brain is still foggy and decision making is poor. So I'll process it while the 90 days pass or figure things out after the 90 days.
  10. Day 4/90 Blah, I was too rash yesterday. @dahankus I read an article about your journey today and I think what I didn't grasp was the power of reporting in for these 90 days. It reminded of a scene from an animation where a loaner gave out one percent interest loans but under one circumstance. The circumstance that these individuals taking the loan showed up and paid the recurring interest each day in front of the old man. It revealed a lot about the character of these individuals. Those who showed up everyday and those who bailed or skipped out. So I think by reporting in everyday, I will show myself in the end that I am committed towards changing myself and capable of taking it even further. But a part from that, things are going okay. I have been doing my best to avoid Youtube or other game screening platforms like Twitch. I did slip up a few times these past days, but today I found myself reading stories from Game Quitters instead of mindlessly browsing the web on my phone or feeling the urge to game again. I've been doing a lot of positive things though, but as more and more day pass, I find that it's who I have to become, inside mentally, rather than just the doing. Granted it's just been four days, but damn have these four days been long.
  11. Day 3/90 It went well today, but I think I'm going to hold off on posting here. I didn't realize how powerful reflecting was until now. A lot of memories resurfaced again, and personally I would like to process and feel these words better through paper and pen. Thanks.
  12. Day 2/90 A bit of struggle today with the lingering thoughts in my head. It makes me aware of how easy it is to slip into gaming again. But it's a lifestyle now. A lifestyle without games. Things definitely feel discomforting, but I'm sure it will fade in time just like the rest of the community. If you did it, then there's no excuse why I can't as well. Cheers. -edit to answer question of week- What are you grateful for? I am grateful for just being alive. I went through an unsustainable period in my life, but because of certain individuals in my life, whom I am thankful for, I managed to get through it. There was light in the tunnel at the end, just not the one I planned for. Now I am facing another hurdle, which is gaming, but I have a feeling this time around I will be okay.
  13. @Ikar, 👊 @dahankus. Thank you for the advice. I'll interpret it as a push towards a different lifestyle. Much appreciated.
  14. Day 1/90 Today I have decided to quit games for good. I have thought about this act on occasion, but as the years go by I find myself contemplating more frequently. The o' too many missed milestones in my life. The family. The friends. The ladies. And the whole part of growing up. On the other hand, I know I have a lot apologizing to do to some folks of mine, and I am sure they will never forgive me. Myself included. But I am trying now. I just hope they and I have the patience for me. I'm a mess right now, but it's a start. Thank you, Cam, the community, and my dear ones in life for opening my eyes.
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