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  1. Yesterday
  2. TTT

    90 days

    Day 63 (thu): Full day at work. Good before and after. Time for bed, and right on time. Habit Tracker: Good habits: 213; Procrastination: -810; Addictions: -70; Other bad habits: -23; Identity total: -690
  3. Ikar

    Ikar's Diary

    Day 124: Alright, the time is finally ripe for a big update. Some of it are gonna be my own thoughts of my past and some of them are gonna be things I discussed with the people I know. Going back to my past, I am inclined to believe that the relationship was the classic romantic love. There was passion, there was connection, but no lasting trust/commitment. All of that was done unconsciously. That is probably nothing new, however it might be the explanation for my drive for connection/sex I am working on experiencing again, BUT also consciously throwing in the responsibility/trust factor in to make the next relationship last longer. I am still new to the concept of responsibility, but I believe I made a good headway the last 4 months. I also notice the "savior" complex to try and help someone (without going into much detail IF they actually deserve/need help) is still present in me. It was there when I tried to "help" my ex out of depression, it was still partly there when we had some issues on the workplace recently. I have to be conscious of that and try to cop around for the justice of others less. Their problems are theirs and my problems are mine. That's that. Another one I found out is that "If you want peace, prepare for war." applies to human relationships as well. It sounds strange, but for example if I call out someone on lying to me, I do not do it to invalidate all the good things they have done before and show them they are completely untrustworthy. I do it because I want to make them aware of it and find out why they were lying AND I will be happy if they return the favor sometime in the future when I might get out of line myself. Honestly, I do not think one can maintain this kind of a relationship with everyone they regularily meet. Family, romantic partner and friends, and that is probably all. It will probably not include a random Joe at work, though maybe if you call him out and he accepts the callout gracefully, you might become friends through that. Who knows, life is weird! Back to the saying, I would say most people are not prepared for war with most people, so peace (which I guess is friendship in this analogy) is impossible and rather, they have an armistice. Chances are there is plenty of unmarked mines laying around, ready to blow up and send them both to war. And a classic to top it off, you cannot make someone change. They can be a liar, racist, arrogant prick, stomping kids' sandcastles on a beach - whatever. You can perhaps try to make them aware of the issue, but that is all you can do. It was sure a long entry, but it sums up my summer work experience and a few other bits that help me understand myself and others.
  4. Day 65 - Game free! I’m back home. Work is sending me right back out to a remote locale. Exciting. I will be finishing my detox there. Got my laptop back from warranty. Tonight will be a real test, but I have plenty to keep me busy before my flight in the morning. One day at a time... Have had a few conversations with women that were nice.
  5. Day 57 - Nostalgia and stress For the past 2 days I've been getting some above average cravings. What I've realized is that my biggest triggers are unplanned days and fear of failure. If I'm not working and don't plan to go out, it usually just turns into a sad, empty day. It's crucial that I plan and do everything i set out for each day. Or I'm going to relapse. Another craving problem which is even more problematic is fear of failure. When I sit down and decide I'm gonna do something, this overwhelming fear strikes me. I feel like I can't do it, like i failed already. It all comes back to confidence. These new tasks are going to be tough. I need to get through them if I want to grow. Or I'll live thinking what If forever. Fear paralizes me and wants me to go back to my comfort zone, gaming. I'm scared of trying to do difficult tasks. I feel like I can't outrun my cravings. I'm working on it. I'll figure it out. This weekend I'll force my self to learn some blogging skills. I need confidence. I also want to walk up and start conversations with random girls. I'll force my self to do some during the weekend. At the end of the day... I should be happy I got through another day of the detox. It isn't much, but atleast I didn't give up. Tomorrow's a new day and a new challenge. Everything's in arms reach, all I gotta do is fight for it everyday. HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!
  6. Any area that encourages or facilitates "anonymous keyboard warriors" is going to be a cesspool. Social media has given us the impression that we are entitled to an opinion and everyone wants to hear it (and that it is right). Social media has a lot to answer for!
  7. You got this Moegli! I am glad you are not too hard on yourself. If you stick around in San Fran long enough, they might throw a 49ers jersey on you! I heard their QB situation is not very good. My relapses were in the same situations, thinking "sweet, nothing to do for a few days, no guilt here!" but the guilt is always there after hitting the X button. Besides, there is always something to do when you have kids, right? Cleaning, chores, prepping, planning. No time to waste!
  8. Day 5 Pretty good day. Sitting at a desk all day when you're not gaming is pretty exhausting though. Have to start doing some sort of exercise, or go for a walk at least. Did a really short walk today just to clear my head for a bit, helped a lot. On the weekend I should finish my schedule for the rest of the year, and plan some routine and make some time for things I've meant to. Like, I've been planning to do meditation for ages, but never stuck with it. This might be the time, only this time i'll start off really slow, 10 minutes max. I like the idea of it, but I tried doing it like 30-40 minutes a day and after 2 days.. never did it again. Way harder than it seems. Plan for tomorrow: finish up the thing, not much left.
  9. Day 71/90 (79% complete... until I increase my goal!) Day 0/90 (0% complete... until I increase my goal!) So today I'm resetting my counter. I'm being honest with myself and acknowledging what my behavior has been like. At the beginning of this journey, I stated I was going to cut out media that threw free dopamine into my brain. I have not been good with that goal. I have not picket up a controller or mouse to play a game in 71 days, that is very real. However, I let porn creep back into my routine. Twice in the last few weeks, I've been reading manga on my (previously) preferred manga site. Just the regular ones that I keep myself up to date on. I haven't really binged on Manga in quite a long time. My previously preferred site always has gaming and fantasy sex game adds on the sides of the page. I gave in and clicked on them, and played for a few minutes both times for masturbation purposes, then I logged off. Overall, it feels like I've violated my own word and I can no longer continue with my previous counter, because it feels false now. Even though it wasn't truly gaming, I'm sure it was still doing the same thing to my brain, which is the problem overall, so we're back to zero starting today. I'm not too worried about this ^, I'll get there, and I've already made a lot of good progress in my life. In fact, I'm not at work today, because I got a new job!!!! THE SEARCH IS OVERRR!!!! YES! I start next Tuesday, and yesterday was my last day at my previous shitty company. I've got 5 days in a row to just enjoy myself. There has already been gym time and gardening today, plus some planning with my first business trip ever (which I'm very excited for). On my way back from the gym I had a weird moment that I wasn't expecting to have - I was craving gaming! That feeling hasn't shown up for me in weeks, so I was totally unprepared for it. Something about having 5 days to just do whatever I want with no obligations put me back to where I used to be. My endurance for not craving gaming might have diminished because I did the sexy fantasy gaming yesterday. It only lasted a moment, and I moved on. But it was kind of weird. I supposed the craving demon was going to pop it's sharp and wrinkled face up at some point. I'm very excited for my new job. It's a 47% increase in pay, the job description (information modeler/API diagrammer) is something I'm thrilled about because I'm a diagram geek, and the new company is already flying me out to San Fran for training and they have been begging me to accept the position. They are treating me VERY well in comparison to the shitty company I'm leaving. They're treating my skillset with a sense of awe and respect, which is a totally different environment to be in. I feel like I'm being treated as a professional right off the bat with these guys, and I love it! ... I think I'll keep it there for now. Not too much, but really good things on the horizon. 🙂
  10. Mate, whats up? Let us hear how its going!
  11. Guys, I’m out of playing any digital games about 5 months. Yesterday I created 3 characters on a server of wow classic that will be open on 26/07. WoW was one of my best games, and brings me a lot of happy and sad memories. And the launch of the classic version is breaking me down. What should I do? Keep strong or give a chance to this game experience? Thanks!
  12. Hey guys what’s up! Today is my 13th day of my 90 day detox and I’m still improving in energy and mood everyday. My business is also on track along with school so that’s good feeling. Today I’m also going to a party at Pizza Hut which sounds super good after school. Today will be a good day. Peace!
  13. First night of the 90 day detox and I am extremely nervous. I have the feeling that I’m going to have a moment of weakness and just hop on the computer and game for hours on end. But I know what I want in my life and I know that the urge to game is just my brains automatic response. It’s time to take control of my life let’s do this.
  14. Nice job. It's really great when you feel proud of yourself after meeting a benchmark. Especially since this journey started with pain and resentment toward the benchmark you've now met and feel good about. Keep up the good work. After 43 weeks I can tell you there will always be ups and downs but the larger the number gets the more backbone you feel in your self esteem as you learn to stand taller.
  15. https://gamequitters.com/dashboard/ Welcome btw, good luck with your detox. My life has definitely gotten better since leaving the games behind.
  16. Also, I just bought Respawn but can’t seem to find it. Does it take a while to get sent or am I missing something?
  17. thanks for the advice. I think you are right about dating at work. I think because it's my main social outlet right now and the only way I meet new people its probably natural that I'm feeling this way. I want to try to meet girls in another way but I don't know if I'm ready for it yet, rejection sucks a bunch. Thanks again ! Day 108, Aug 21 Wow I haven't posted in a while. I didn't realize it had been this long, it was mostly on purpose but also a bit of laziness in there. So I followed my goals from my last post for a few days before life got too busy again and things began to revert back and I failed again. Sigh. I'm pretty frustrated, I just feel like I can never stick to my goals and something always gets in the way. That being said, today was probably my best day in about a week and I feel good about getting back on track. I just need to generate a bit of momentum and I can really start to perform at the level I want to be. Newton's 1st law states an object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion. I know this is true because I experienced it already during my detox back in the first 40ish days where I was just crushing it with productivity. Anyway, I'll try to be brief today. I think I'm at an important phase now and I know what I need to do. I just need to fucking do it. Btw, I'm still killing it with no fap, setting a new record every day that goes by now. Honestly, most days its effortless. I think I may actually be able to pull off 100+ days. Did I just curse myself? 100 pushups a day counter 38 no fap: 47 days
  18. Hey everyone, I’m 24 and I’ve been hesitant to quit gaming for a while now. I’ve played games for so long that it almost feels wrong to quit. But the results speak for themselves. I haven’t achieved any of the goals I’ve set out to do in my life thus far, I don’t have many friends and the ones that I do have I barely contact. I feel awkward in social situations, and when I game I always feel like I’m searching for some kind of excitement that isn’t going on in my life. I stay cooped up in my room for hours on end on the computer, hoping to feel something besides disappointment in myself for gaming so much. I don’t want to quit. But I know that limiting the amount of time that I play doesn’t work for me, it only makes me want to play more. Does anyone else feel a similar way? I’m honestly scared to quit, I’ve gamed for my whole life. But I’m 24 and don’t have a job and I live with my parents and I’m tired of not living the life that I know I can have. I am an addict and I need help. I’m going to try the 90 day detox and see how far I can get. I apologize for this wall of text, but it felt good to just get that stuff off my chest. I look forward to talking with you all in the weeks/months/ however long to come!
  19. Tzen1

    Tzen's Journal

    Day 59 and FREAKING 60 I can't believe it 60 days without gaming or media content. If you asked me if I would have made it this far I probably wouldn't have believed it myself! The days have been long while not teaching. Waiting for teachers to start taking some days off so I can start subbing. I need to fix my mind of picking up jobs and doing what best for me and my wife and not put games first. That's how bad I let games get to me. So this year is a time of change. It will be hard to break the mindset but it's my biggest step in order to really break this addiction and start gaining trust back with my wife. On day 60 I have a great accomplishment as well to top it off. For the first time I finished my first 600+ page book and bought the second book. I'm super proud of this as reading was never my go to hobby until I stopped gaming and I love it. It's the first book of the King Killer chronicles and it's amazing! Onwards to the last 30 days people but more than likely I'll still be going past that. -Cheers Tzen
  20. Man I feel you on that update. The 16-17 school year I was a high school history teacher before we moved cities and I don't know how you handle the little people. But I was on the same boat except 200 high school students. The emotional baggage goes all the way up till they graduate. Also for the students who ate lunch in my room I always kept some granola bars for the ones who "didn't want to eat lunch" that day because they couldn't afford it. It's a tough job and teacher burn out is real. As for talking behind your back high school students can be mean but what you say is the truth. Not everyone is going to like you and that's ok. Your there to be the teacher not there friend. One of my favorite things my mentor passed on to me was you have to find your golden nugget for teaching and hold on to it with all your might. Because you will always be battled by someone who wants to take it away. Mine was seeing my students graduate with a diploma in there hands that's a memory I'll hold on to forever. You got this and you'll have a great school year! Good luck and enjoy it from someone who misses teaching those high school snots I call students!
  21. I'm kind of tired of feeling sick. I have stomach issues every day with diarrhea each morning and sometimes twice per day. Lots of fatigue. A lot of people think it's stress. Idk. The only thing really stressing me out is that bachelor party I think. It really took a lot out of me.
  22. Day 115 No VG - 115 days, No SAH - 11 days, NF - 2 days (2/7) Today was busy, but productive at work. I wasn't as angry today so that was good. I have procrastinated a bit since getting home. A three hour break is more than enough. Computer off for the rest of the night. My goal before I go to bed is to at least finish the dishes if not also getting groceries. I have two hours before midnight, so I can still get quite a bit done if I put my mind to it.
  23. Last week
  24. TTT

    90 days

    Day 62 (wed): Did a controlled scan through a gaming website for about five-ten minutes at work. Boring. Came back from work and went on to another addiction. Habit Tracker: Good habits: 192; Procrastination: -790; Addictions: -70; Other bad habits: -23; Identity total: -682
  25. Ikar

    Ikar's Diary

    Day 123: I wrote, checked out some articles, cooked, went outside for a bit and got a big stomachache because I ate too much!
  26. Good luck! Getting that education done is way better than sinking the time into gaming 🙂
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