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- Today
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I did the 100-day "no gaming - but do anything on the PC if it's not really gaming" last autumn. It started out very fun counting up the days until around the 30 mark, then I got bored of the process because it didn't mean anything more than number-counting. This quote is from my journal on day 53 of that strange streak. So my answer: No. I am not OK with spending 8 hours on YouTube. Never want to go back. Addiction is a brain disease, and the brain doesn't know if you are gaming or "not really gaming". It knows that rush of novelty/excitement and learns to crave it. The only way to regain brain health is to eliminate that rush entirely for 2~3 months, allowing the brain to re-balance without it.
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@Cam Adair Wow, really nice touch with the Alert navigation. Super helpful!
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Awesome joined the community
- Yesterday
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I hate my life
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Day 34 Thanks Taichi 🙂 Just got done with today's physical therapy appt. Made more progress with my legs. I haven't felt this good in a while. I notice hints of gaming urges creeping back in. The last time, I think I caved around day 45~ ish- around the halfway mark. Compared to back then, I understand myself much better. I know i'll finish this time.
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Need Advise - 5 Months I've stopped but BIG URGES return to relapse
BigOlBeartic replied to LordFederickRamsay's topic in Ask the Community
Looks like one of the roots of the issue you have with gaming is your social relationship situation. As you say you're "super frustrated sexually, socially", you have to do something about that other than turning to video games. Join a fitness class. Go to group art lessons. Enroll in night classes somewhere. Anyway, the point is get out there. Good luck. -
Need Advise - 5 Months I've stopped but BIG URGES return to relapse
Catherine17 replied to LordFederickRamsay's topic in Ask the Community
Five months is a long time, you have willpower and you are capable of beating the cravings to play. I know it is hard when mental issues make you your own enemy, but gaming can only make it worse. If you play now, it won't ease the pain. You cannot get away from yourself, and all your frustration will come back as soon as you finish playing. For some people games became a drug, a powerful one. But it is a drug, not a remedy. Games can be a depressant for those struggling with mental issues, they only mask a problem instead of solving it. There are good things and bad things about gaming, accept it, but deep inside you know that it is time to move on from that experience. We all are going through the same problems and you are not alone in your struggles. As for intrusive thoughts, try to find an activity that demands concentration, like meditation, yoga, solving puzzles, learning something completely new for you. Even making lists can be helpful. Try to think of the positive changes in your life and make a list. It mighy be hard at first but changing focus of your concentration is important. And you should never forget that you can do everything. You can deal with cravings. You can deal with everything. I wish you luck on your journey. Keep fighting the good fight. -
As a former memer who had his own FB page dedicated to making fun of his former university, I agree that this thread is so good and yet so bad at the same time! Already got a Morpheus in here, but who cares. I also saw a bit of Matrix yesterday before seeing this thread, coincidence? I think not!
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same problem as yesterday i fear my laptop may be dead for good but i will try again tomorrow after work and workout so wish me luck and i guess i will post today's missing diary entry tomorrow from my pc at work sorry guys 😞
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Need Advise - 5 Months I've stopped but BIG URGES return to relapse
LordFederickRamsay posted a topic in Ask the Community
Hi, I haven't gamed or watched any game-related videos or adverts for FIVE months...I'm experiencing the worst of it right now. I just want to game so fucking badly. It's insane. I'm like moments away from touching my computer (although I sold my mouse, mouse mat and uninstalled/deleted games and computer accounts). I need some reassuring words or maybe some advice. I don't understand what is going on. I thought I was supposed to be over it by now. I have ADHD and some mental health issues so take that into consideration if you're planning on replying to this topic. I'm super frustrated, sexually, socially - I don't get the same feeling from ANYTHING that I did from games. I was so good at games as well (like semi-pro at Fortnite) and I played it with my best friend that doubled the fun.. I need to remember the shit bits of gaming - the lack of sleep, the unconscious regret, the lack of socialising, bad mental health, embarrassed, sad, addicted. Another thing you should take into consideration is I suffer from intrusive thoughts (psychological condition to do with OCD) so this emphasises why I played games so much and why I want to play them again because the thoughts are relentless and horrible to live through and like 50% of my thoughts are I.T. Please for the love of god, someone help. -
Day 1/7 I often use games to relieve stress so before going back to them (probably going back to them, I haven't made my mind yet) I decided to survive the most stressful week of this April without games. A bit of a personal challenge here. Today was busy. I finished my report which I'll have to present this Wednesday, but it certainly needs to be edited. Gotta do that tomorrow. I had an amazing lesson with Diana, which was refreshing since her mother tried to encourage me to explain mathematics to the little girl. I am not a mathematician, so our previous two lessons were the opposite of enjoyable. Glad we made it back to English. I sent my application to the university, I hope everything is in order. I sent all emails though I hate sending them. I am bad at replying. The next thing was rehearsal...and it didn't go that well, but, anyway, it was fun. Let's hope that tomorrow I'll be as productive as today.
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Hi TtWA! To start off, I read your story in Introduction, as well the whole diary and damn, some of the metaphors you use are powerful. Here are my thoughts: As for ghosting and not being "present"; there's a great book by Eckhart Tolle called "The Power of Now", I think Cam himself might've mentioned it in his videos. It's available online in pdf as well. Reason I am writing this is it was actually my (ex)girl who gave it to me, even though at that time she was already thinking my case was lost. I can't say I understood most the book, I can't say I understood even half the book, but it gets you thinking in the correct way. Working out is great, I'll do it tomorrow for the first time after a long hiatus too! My (ex)girl tried to get me into it after I quit the army, but I just spent too much time gaming and watching Twitch. I had the wrong mindset, took it personally as an attack on my manhood and justified it by the fact I'm not gonna do it just because SHE wants; more so, when she doesn't work out herself! Second flaw I had was with my mindset. I desperately struggled to get an hour or two outside of my computer, instead of questioning the fact I daily spent literally 16 hours on a day off there. Since I ask the better question now, gaming and Twitch is the first thing to go, but my second goal is to cut down on computer time itself. Today, after I started yesterday, I got enough enough courage to contact my (ex)girl way ahead of time since the ex-com we were having for a few weeks. She's been my single most important achievement in the past year. She showed me her support and I am grateful for that. I'm unsure if we'll get back together, but I'll be seeing her in June, so she'll be able to compare whether all this was just talking or acting. Talking (and writing) is one thing, doing a whole damn different other thing! You seem to be keen on joining the army, but as a former soldier myself (maybe a future one too, who knows, but not until I graduate from the university), I ask you one thing: do NOT underestimate the # of people serving solely for the paycheck (and paid gym time). Make sure you're not wasting your potential there, stuck in the 9-5. Put meaning into your work and try to make your passion do the work for you. Going into the army won't automatically make you a better person. This is my army experience from the CZ army, being an "ordinary" soldier. Feel free to PM me, if you wish to know more about my experience there. As a last point, here's a great TED talk I stumbled upon a few days ago. I tried to dodge it by the title, but after several dodges I gave it a go and it's great and his presentation screens are super easy to follow and apply.
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Well I wouldn't say never acceptable. It's more like changing habits like picking weeds in a sense. I understand where you're coming from, but happiness for me at this time is fleeting. It's more about fulfillment, in a way to deal with the hardships of my personal struggle. I will however, try and see what I can do in regards of negotiating with my professionalism. Though this in itself, even thinking about it, makes me a bit anxious haha. I also agree with you in opening up with close family and friends, but unfortunately where I live it's a very competitive environment / culture. I'm surrounded by many combative folk, mostly mentally, though it's extra taxing for me now given my current position. Also being 'sensitive' doesn't help.... Honestly, really digging into my current situation, I believe my relationship with games pales in comparison to this immense loneliness I've been experiencing, though it's likely a by-product. I have no active solutions in place that would allow for me to connect organically with others. Being intense at times certainly doesn't help. I've been trying to reach out to others via my industry (board games), but it would appear a slow process. But still, day 12 and no games. Going to be interesting what this week is going to look like. Why do I feel like the villain in someone else's story. -Oct.
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DAY 14: Two weeks videogame free! I guess I should try to celebrate that a little more as it is an achievement I never would have imagined for myself just a few months ago. I'm guessing I'm still going through odd phases from withdrawal or something as today was absolutely awful. I felt low on energy, demoralized and struggled to focus while working. I'm also seeing what big gaps I have in my life, especially from a social aspect, without video gaming. I am a very extroverted person and I pretty much have nothing to fill in the social gap that's been left open here, which has contributed to my slumps I think. I feel isolated and lonely. I have a tight deadline coming up so there's not much time right now to correct that but perhaps it should be a priority to solve that particular issue this weekend.
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Another relapse haha, I am really feeling like 90 days is a bit a too ambitious for, I think maybe 7 days is a more realistic goal. Relapsing so much is kinda frustrating and taking a toll on my self-esteem, I am not really sure how to deal with really overwhelming cravings which seem like the only way they will go away is to feed the craving.
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Relapsed after completing my goal, back at it now
dahankus replied to dahankus's topic in Daily Journals
Day 21. Monday. I am thankful for the opportunity to meet my girlfriend's 90 yo Grandmother. I spent the weekend in the literally in the middle of nowhere. A place that once was a prospering home of 5 children, now lies in ruins. I heard stories of that place, and they filled me with sadness. One story can be shortened to dishonesty, and procrastination, in the hope that some day, someone will do what is necessary. But that day never came, and now entropy is claiming the remains. Another story from that neighborhood was even worse, fueled with distrust, insecurity and rage. A long time ago, a family was destroyed by rumors, leaving 4 children behind as orphans. So damn horrible. And it could have been avoided by just being true and honest to each other. If only we could effectively learn from the past. I am not a gamer. -
Day 1 addendum: I was mostly studying Cam's YT content, got on the forums and commented Cam's YT content. I was on Twitch a little bit too. After lunch, I went for a walk around the village with my dad. After that, grandma came in the afternoon for a barbecue. In the evening I watched some Simpsons. I thought of some activities to fill... uh, basically my whole day. Scheduling seems like a good idea, having already good experience from one of my exam terms on the university. Day 2: Studying some more of Cam's YT content, I decided to perma-block Twitch. I also decided to order a book from university's library he recommended in a reaction on my comment. I also removed all of my Discord servers, except mine, where I would get notified when a streamer went live on Twitch. Contacted several people on Discord regarding my Twitch absence to inform people, in case they ask if I died or what's wrong with me. Brother came over for lunch and I also played Scrabble with my mom. What a nerd I am! During the day, I noticed some anxiety and more sweating than usual. After a few weeks of no communication, I decided to inform my girl of my decision to drastically transform 95% of the free time I have. During the conversation (and after sending her my journal I wrote ever since we separated), I felt supremely anxious, I even wanted to cry and relapse... but in the end, she told me she still likes me and that she would support me and I could feel tears of joy immediately running down my face! 1 day at a time, 1-2 main objective(s) at a time, and a few optional ones. Rest of the day will be used to celebrate the achievements that truly matter and relaxation. Sometimes more of a thought-map rather than a schedule, I'll make sure to collect all the ideas I have scattered throughout my room, on desktop and in my head. Schedule: Tue: ICELAND JOBSEEKING + school project setup, basketball/workout, watch a WWII documentary world at war ep. 1 Wed: LOCAL JOBSEEKING (event) + school project finish, read some 4HB from Ferriss Thu: WORKDAY + visit grandma Fri: SCHOOLDAY (pick up books from library) + walk outside TBD: Sat: drum? Sun:
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Day 13. I recently found small group of friends to play with on the Nintendo Switch. Surprisingly. I don't feel the same energy suck with PC Gaming and It feels nice to compete and talk with them again...I realize Gaming is still apart of me but I've found a way to control it and turn it into a positive experience. Spring Break is here but I have little to do besides study and deal with assignments...Hopefully something comes up.
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Question of the week: Where do you see yourself in 20 years time?
seriousjay replied to James Good's topic in General Discussion
This is an excellent exercise, @James Good. I would highly encourage you to pose more questions in the future that ask something actionable of us. I have some trouble to visualize my own future, probably because it's not a habit that I've really worked at. More specifically, I have trouble visualizing my future in first person, which I think is an incredibly important part of the process. However, I'd love to share what I come up with. I'll edit my post later to add it. -
Sorry that this is a bit late. How did your week go, @Tux? If you're struggling to find people to do things with, check out Meetup.com. Otherwise, you can try and find a hobby to immerse yourself in to take up the time. Cam has an excellent guide on hobby ideas on the website.
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Listening to music, hanging out with friends.. seems to be a common trend. 🙂
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The thing about self help books is that all the ones under the same general umbrella talk about pretty much the exact same thing in just a slightly different way. If you pick up The Slight Edge, The Power of Habit and The Willpower Instinct, they are all about the same general idea. The nice thing about there being so many of them is that you can take whatever bits and pieces are relevant to you and apply them to your life. You can come back to the book later and probably find some new insights that you hadn't thought of before because of your increased wisdom. All that being said, while things like taking notes is a good idea, as @mattso says, if you don't actually apply the lessons to your life, you are mostly wasting your time reading these books. The one thing in common with every single one of them is that they give you an idea or a plan of action of how to incorporate their lessons into your life. As for meditation, I think the thing that a lot of people miss is that there is no "point" of meditation, you're not trying to accomplish anything. The whole idea is to try and break free from the constant cycle of instant gratification and just being aware in the moment and being content with the idea that nothing is going on. You won't really notice much of an improvement day to day, but if you track your progress over an extended period of time, you may notice a huge improvement in things like your temper, your self compassion, how quickly you get frustrated, etc.
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What games do you usually play before doing the 90-day detox?
seriousjay replied to Lea's topic in General Discussion
I agree with @hahahacutie , I don't think it's very productive to constantly be in fear of video games because of what might happen if we pick one up again. I think it's better to accept and be at peace with whatever reality you're currently in. I was playing Terraria, Starbound and Fallout 4 before I quit, and a couple of weeks ago I had started playing Terraria once again, on and off. I think I've managed to overcome the anxiety and insecurities that caused that to happen, but I am still considering what to do with my save file. I understand the value of deleting your save files and games, but at the same time, I am also considering if I can find a way to integrate the video game into the way I reward myself for the good things that I do. I've come to accept that I had simply replaced video games with other forms of mindless entertainment (like Netflix) and tricked myself into thinking things were going good. The reality is that there are so many better and more productive ways to spend our time, but I've accepted that to integrate those better and more productive things is going to require a major shift in the way I think about entertainment. Allowing myself the occasional video game as a stop gap measure until that shift occurs seems to be something that could work for me. -
This is an extremely interesting viewpoint. Thanks for sharing. I think what you've described here is pretty much what meditation tries to reinforce. The act of being still and aware of what's going on around and within, in order to bring that same awareness into our everyday lives. It helps to break free of that cycle of constantly needing the next hit of instant gratification and teaches us to be OK with the idea that things don't need to be constantly happening all the time for us to be happy.
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Hey goodbill! I empathize with you on a personal level, as my girl had to persist my gamer identity for quite some time. I told her (and myself, even before I got to know her) I would do things like working out, reading and educating myself more. Unsurprisingly, after several smaller red flags she gave me (that I failed to recognize as the beginning of the end, as my social IQ is probably horrible due to my gaming past), she snapped and said she wouldn't like to see me anymore. I failed to acknowledge even that fact for a while, but eventually this ongoing ex-com we're having really got me thinking about my time usage. I'm not doing this to impress her and to have her back (which would still be awesome), but to inspire myself to chase passions I'm after. Glad to have you on the same boat!
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Day 114 (42|72) (22/04/19) Monday Worked on the puzzle pretty much all day and then we went out as a family to the LIttle High Eatery for dinner. It's a small but popular food court and it was quite packed tonight because it was a public holiday. I had a Bacon Bros burger (Bernie) and to be honest it felt like I was eating a toastie 😐 it was filling, but for me, it just didn't live up to the hype. Perhaps I gotta try another burger next time.
