Feeling conflicted about moderation

[Vm365]

Hi everyone, recently I have hit a really good point in my life. I sold my ps4 and got work as a software engineer. A great job I couldn't be happier. As anyone familiar with software knows you have to dedicate alot of time focusing on coding. I think I'm just here to hear what people have to say about my situation. Sometimes I get urges to game instead of code. I recently downloaded the pcsx2 and got a controller and while it is slow sly 2 is still a blast. I still think about games at night especially and watch videos about them sometimes. I guess what I'm wondering is, is gaming just a no no for me. Because to put it bluntly it won't improve my life. 

[codepants]

Like most other things in life, it's subjective—we can't decide for you.

Some questions to get you thinking, though:

- Do you often play more than you intended to?

- Have you been able to not play when you said you would?

- How much time are you spending gaming? 2 hours a day? 4? 8?

- Do you crave gaming?

- You mentioned thinking about gaming and night and watching videos. Are the thoughts and video-watching more like the involvement you'd have in a sport (an interest), or more like the involvement you'd have with a drug (an impulsion)?

- Has gaming caused you to fail to fulfill major obligations at work, school, or home?

- Have you used it even when you knew you were supposed to be doing something else?

- Have you given up other activities (ex. sports, time with friends) so you could game?

- Has anyone in your life expressed concern to you about how much you game or suggested that you cut back?

- Do you need to play more to get the same feeling?

- Are you irritable when you don't play?

Keep us posted. Good luck!

[alvayuso]

On 12/20/2020 at 8:44 PM, codepants said:

Like most other things in life, it's subjective—we can't decide for you.

Some questions to get you thinking, though:

- Do you often play more than you intended to?

- Have you been able to not play when you said you would?

- How much time are you spending gaming? 2 hours a day? 4? 8?

- Do you crave gaming?

- You mentioned thinking about gaming and night and watching videos. Are the thoughts and video-watching more like the involvement you'd have in a sport (an interest), or more like the involvement you'd have with a drug (an impulsion)?

- Has gaming caused you to fail to fulfill major obligations at work, school, or home?

- Have you used it even when you knew you were supposed to be doing something else?

- Have you given up other activities (ex. sports, time with friends) so you could game?

- Has anyone in your life expressed concern to you about how much you game or suggested that you cut back?

- Do you need to play more to get the same feeling?

- Are you irritable when you don't play?

Keep us posted. Good luck!

Dude, I have the same feeling, and I think it is my mind trying to trick me to go back playing, even a lil bit, because I match with most of those things (I usually played more than I should, I couldn't stop easily, I have given up activities just to game more...) and after 23 days of no gaming, I have this thoughts that, I could play certain games, but in reality I think I am trying to trick myself into gaming again...

In my opinion, I think I should not game for a long long time..

[ArcaneCoder]

To add, if you or people close to you have observed that you have a gaming problem, and if you have experienced serious consequences from gaming, then you have likely experienced addiction.

Quote

Neuroimaging technologies and more recent research, however, have shown that certain pleasurable activities, such as gambling, shopping, and sex, can also co-opt the brain.[1]

If shopping addiction exists, then why not gaming addiction?

Quote

The reward circuit in the brain includes areas involved with motivation and memory as well as with pleasure. Addictive substances and behaviors stimulate the same circuit — and then overload it.

Repeated exposure to an addictive substance or behavior causes nerve cells in the nucleus accumbens and the prefrontal cortex (the area of the brain involved in planning and executing tasks) to communicate in a way that couples liking something with wanting it, in turn driving us to go after it. That is, this process motivates us to take action to seek out the source of pleasure.[1]

Addiction rewires our brains to seek an experience repeatedly, because limited exposure and moderation are not enough.

Quote

Conditioned learning helps explain why people who develop an addiction risk relapse even after years of abstinence.[1]

If you never wish to experience the consequences of your gaming problem again, then you never want to game again. The hardest step is breaking the cycle and confronting the consequences. The easiest step is saying no to every temptation and rationalization, then finding replacement activities:

• read novels
• exercise which benefits the mind[2][3]
• creative outlets in any medium of art, literature and music
• outdoors like running, hiking, camping, triathlon training, etc
• supportive interest groups with like-minded individuals, like https://www.cgaa.info/local-support-groups/ or https://www.meetup.com/

A mind hack is to not overthink it: don't ask why, just ask, "what likely happens if ...?"

Authoritative Source/s

1. https://www.health.harvard.edu/…/how-addiction-hijacks-the-brain
2. https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/physical-activity
3. https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/real-life-benefits-exercise-and-physical-activity

[Talby]

This is really interesting.  I come at this after having a really difficult year.  I managed to quit for over the 90 days but became a bit too focused on just counting the days and expecting things to get better.  After pushing myself really hard towards the end of the summer last year (managing wedding arrangements, doing a big fell race, getting a new job etc) all whilst during fluctuating UK lockdown conditions, I finally gave in and allowed myself to game again after 6 months of nothing.

Of course there was the sneaky internet rabbit holes that I told myself were an ok replacement but really were doing me just as much damage, probably leading me to still feel just as bad as when I was gaming too much.  

Anyway, fast forward a year and I've been trying to 'game in moderation' but really don't know how to feel about it.  The stuff about coupling liking and wanting is really useful because it shines a light on why I'm constantly writing and thinking about wanting to not fill my time endlessly with TV, gaming and browsing the internet but why I keep going back to it as a default.

I know this discussion was from last year but thought I'd offer a thanks for it being here.