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Any advice?

royal panda

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Hello everyone, even though I am not on a junk food detox anymore I am still trying to cut sugar out of my diet, though I'm not against junk food. You'd think this would be easy, but let me tell you why it isn't.

There is one main reason why it's hard. My mom. While i do love my mom she is such an oblivious and annoying jackass when it comes to this. I have even tried teaching her why a particular item isn't healthy like a lot of people think, and she just goes back on her word "oh it has nuts in it." It's so annoying and completely stopping me from mostly avoiding sugar. For example today she gave me waffles, not my first choice but that's fine, but the issue is she put FUCKING NUTELLA ON IT. And for my lunch she put damn Oreos in it. I was running late so I wasn't able to make my breakfast or lunch today so yeah. Her logic was that both the amount of nutella on my waffles and my oreos were small so less sugar. But that's not what it fucking means, and when i tried to explain that, that's not the case and that both WERE unhealthy, she said "you had a soda the other day." Which i did, but it was the first soda in a while and not only completely unrelated but also I FUCKING GAVE UP SODA FOR LENT THIS YEAR. Also she said Nutella was better than soda which it is but not much better. Anyway her logic just sucks she also believes that if it has nuts or something healthy like that in it then it's healthy. Again I have tried educating her but she is so caught up in her own bad eating habits that she just ignores what I'm trying to do and tries to add her eating habits to my less sugar diet. I really don't wanna hate her but her petty arguments and ignorance for my teachings make this so more complex, how should i go about handling this?

Edited by royal panda
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Hey bro,

As a kid, this is my advice. Go back to your childhood. Throw your tantrums. Refuse to eat the sweet stuff. Eat a little outside, or stay hungry, but do not eat that sweet food. If you cave in to your mother's food (only sweet stuff), it will reassure her that even though you say you hate it, you actually love it. This is a common psychology for all mothers. NO OFFENSE. Be strict. Drink water ( a lot) to satiate your hunger.

It will work eventually. Trust Me.

All the Best!


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I have a similar problem when it comes to alcohol with my family. Although I am not living with them at the moment, I visit a lot during the week and on the weekends and my mom and stepdad always have a drink with them at the end of the day. I don't like to drink that much but I get drawn  into that world especially when we're doing yard work or watching a movie altogether as a family. I feel like my best option is true vigilance and creating mental suggestions for when I see/get an urge to grab a drink. I am not someone who is deeply ingrained in alcohol, however I feel like I want to completely cut it out which is hard with anything especially when it's a social habit. 

For your issue, since you are at home it will be much more difficult. I would give your mom a grocery list every week so she buys you what want and I would start to prepare your own food in small doses. If you really want to change your diet, you have to be the one that is making your meal choices. Convincing your mom to do anything different when it comes to diet and/or consumption is not a battle you will win. You can never change somebody else, you can only try to affect them. But I have found the best way to influence people is to change yourself (with an indomitable will) and watch as they begin to take strides in their life. Encourage growth but don't think for a second that you can force anybody to do anything, especially if they don't want to. 

If you are comfortable with junk food and just want to cut out added sugars, then I would try to substitute certain meals. For instance, if she tends to put nutella on waffles then maybe change your breakfast to a bagel sandwich. If she throws oreos in your lunch trade them to someone else, give them away for nothing, or just put them back in your backpack and take them home at the end of the day. 

I actually have two similar problems because I went vegetarian four years ago...did it for 2 and a half years then added fish back in for a summer and chicken/turkey in for 9 months before now coming back to being a pescatarian. My dad is and has been 350+ lbs for over 20 years. I have never seen my dad below 300 lbs but I have seen him over 400. In the beginning of my vegetarian lifestyle change he did not accommodate and would always jab at me for not eating meat or fish. I didn't yield. Now, even if he forgets sometimes, he has learned to at least understand my choice and will suggest places to go to eat where he knows there are options for my diet. I could elaborate endlessly on why I wish he would change himself and how many times I have tried to help him lose weight but at the end of the day that's his journey not mine. I always encourage and praise him when he starts a diet and I try to help in what little ways I can but I know that it's his life and body and only he can do it for himself. 

If you argue with your mom try not to invest so much of your energy in seeing changes in her. Be thankful when she does hear what you have to say but in this case actions speak louder than words. She might still mess up your lunch or put temptations in your way but try not to hate her for it, just use it as a way to see if you really are ready to make the changes you say you want to. And always accept mistakes and try to learn from them, don't dwell on the occasional soda like drinking it was some heinous crime.

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Hey! Totally familiar with the sugar problem. Used to eat a lot of sweets until my mom(yeah, kind of the opposite case here) began talking about how bad it is.

One thing that helped me reduce the amount of sugar to normal was measuring how much sugar I have every day, and cutting that amount by a few grams daily/weekly. I suggest not to go coldturkey on it, that might cause a relapse or just a lot of withdrawal effects. Reduce the amount gradually at your own pace, but stick to it! Additionally, I recommend reading more about all the bad things that are in high-sugar foods: one book I know is "The Case against Sugar"(don't take 2nd half seriously please), but recommend you look for more stuff to read on your own.

The healthy amount of sugar one should have per day is 15 grams(Google says 24, but it is coming from an America-based source; US is the most obese country in the world). That's 1/3 of a can of coke, or 1 spoon of nutella. Per day. I know that seems scary low, but you will get there over time, if you want really to! It took me 2 years, but now my sugar intake is 5-10 grams per day, and mostly from fruit. 

Please keep us all updated on how things go- little or a lot, progress is always worth sharing!

Cheers, Po

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