RotundBagel's Journal

[RotundBagel]

So, as this is the first day, I'll make it quick. I'll use a consistent format tomorrow and onwards, but this will be more of a dump of what I did today in regards to gaming.

 

Day #1:

Today I deleted all of my accounts on a plethora of video games and installed a blocker and made a whitelist. As I'm with my family in quarantine, I decided to entrust the password to the application to my brother, and we agreed that any changes to the initial whitelist would be made by him, carrying out my requests. Aside from one game, I didn't feel any regret or apprehension from deleting the accounts, but I ultimately walked away feeling proud for taking these measures.

[RotundBagel]

Day #2:

Aside from a bit of a block in the afternoon, I didn't have any desire to play video games or overwhelming feelings of boredom. However, I did notice that whenever video games would be remotely mentioned in media, by family & friends, etc., I did feel a slight twinge of not playing said game. These did persist throughout the day, but were easily dismissed; no thoughts on certain games lingered for long. Most of the more prominent thoughts about video games were regarding RPG games, my favorite game genre when I used to play. Despite this, these were events were little more than distractions throughout the day and didn't deter me.

[TheNewMe2.0]

I get triggered by games or gaming equipment too. Anything that reminds me of gaming I need to stay away from because it like lures me back into it. Sounds like you're doing well to resist the pull. Welcome to the forums.

[RotundBagel]

For me, my cravings are mostly exclusive to games that I have had ties with or are associated with a strong sense a nostalgia. Most modern games (e.g. pretty much anything on Steam) don't trigger me, whereas the flash games that I grew up with are quite an alluring siren song and require a lot effort to resist.

[RotundBagel]

Day #4:

I didn't write anything for day 3, so it'll be quickly summed up below:

Day 3 was quite tough, at least at the beginning of the day. One thing that I've always had trouble with is consistently waking up with the right mindset. If I feel groggy, I'll find myself kind of leaning into temptation and not making an effort to fight back. Day 3 started something like this and I found myself tempted to find any way to play games. Luckily, I managed to catch myself in the middle of the act, but the pull of games still lingered until about afternoon when I got into a good flow state. Additionally, I had a meet-up with some friends that lasted well into the night, hence why I didn't write an entry - I simply went straight to bed.

ACTUAL Day #4:

In contrast to yesterday, I woke up feeling great and managed to have a really productive morning. This momentum carried me through the day and I had almost no cravings. Yesterday made me rethink my morning routine, particularly regarding what I do first thing when I get out of bed. I'll probably implement some kind of deep breathing / meditation before I exit my bed, as I've always found that such activities really help me center myself and clear my mind.

Edited August 13, 2020 by RotundBagel
Incomplete entry

[RotundBagel]

Day #5:

The addition to my morning routine really helped me in getting the day started on the right foot. I've made an effort to be out in public and with my friends more, which has made me more accountable to my responsibilities and goals. Additionally, I plan to take up more hobbies, as I still have little blocks of boredom that I usually fill up with YouTube. I've since cut down on the upper limit of my non-music YouTube browsing time in half (3 hrs to 1.5 hrs) and added some sites to the whitelist for hobby exploration.

[RotundBagel]

Day #6:

Today was one of those days where there was so much to do that games just weren't on my mind at all. Other than that, I really need to get into the habit of doing my entries earlier, as I nearly decided to not write one today on account of tired I was.

[RotundBagel]

Day #10

I haven't been able to write in my journal for the past few days due to a recent event that prompted a fairly unplanned family trip out of state and off the internet. Needless to say, I didn't relapse and my cravings were minimal. However, I noticed that they returned with renewed force when we made our way back home, and I won't lie, I was very tempted to go back on. To combat this, I pretty much told all my family and friends about it, mostly to hold me accountable, but to give me encouragement as well. I might experiment with designing my environment more in a way to make it more conducive to my goals.

[BooksandTrees]

Just now, RotundBagel said:

Day #10

I haven't been able to write in my journal for the past few days due to a recent event that prompted a fairly unplanned family trip out of state and off the internet. Needless to say, I didn't relapse and my cravings were minimal. However, I noticed that they returned with renewed force when we made our way back home, and I won't lie, I was very tempted to go back on. To combat this, I pretty much told all my family and friends about it, mostly to hold me accountable, but to give me encouragement as well. I might experiment with designing my environment more in a way to make it more conducive to my goals.

Talking about it actually helps because it sometimes helps you work through the cravings.