starsandart Posted August 7, 2020 Share Posted August 7, 2020 Day: 1 I feel: Anxious, frustrated, compelled to repeat the behavior that is not serving me well. Jounal: I'm quitting today for good. I previously was spending a lot of time listening to audiobook while playing a mindless game on my phone. A LOT OF TIME. I use this behavior to escape my life, to dissociate, to have alone time, to have "quiet" from the outside world when family members are loud....but the more I do it the more difficult doing the things I'm "taking a break" from becomes. Focusing on real life things becomes too hard to even attempt. It becomes procrastination times 100 and I feel anxious when I stop and do other things. I've deleted this game a bunch of times. Today is the last time. I'm spending the day planning to be successful with this. So I feel super anxious today. I am reading the book and I like the "success is when preparation meets opportunity" quote. I feel really lost in my life. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD. I recently joined a 12 step program to help me deal with childhood abuse/neglect issues. I'm in therapy. I've changed careers multiple times. I've dropped in and out of school. I've got a masters in a field I'm not working in but still care about. As a child I always wanted to be an artist. I taught myself to draw. I learned to play an instrument I no longer practice, and I own several I never learned. I currently work as a programmer and I'm in school part time online for that but I'm not sure why...I'm not making much money and my work isn't being valued. I really want to start making more money, so I can have a I realize that this intermittent addiction to a game whenever things get stressful or boring is stopping me from finding something I really want to spend time on. Just talked to my partner that reminded me that I just need to worry about today when I told him I don't want to waste the rest of this year doing nothing. I was asking him how successful people handle the feeling of being bored. He said to ask a successful person, so I asked him. He said he tries to learn something new, or if he has to do something boring, to learn as much about it as possible. I have a lot of difficulty recognizing some kinds of boredom. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooksandTrees Posted August 8, 2020 Share Posted August 8, 2020 Welcome to the forums! I think you're in the right place. It sounds like you're very talented in multiple areas and have extreme interest in multiple things. This can be pretty stressful because you want to be perfect at all of them, but each of them requires so much work and the joy can become a little lost. I constantly run into that issue where I'm trying to write a book, make a website, 3d model a sculpture, practice music, etc. Maybe you can set a weekly schedule similar to college where you block out X amount of hours per week on a specific hobby and change things up each "semester". Good that you are seeking therapy and in a 12 step program. Childhood abuse and neglect is a serious issue. I suffer from it. I was abused until I was in my 20s and was neglected for so long. I still face emotional abuse from my family and it's frustrating. I've learned how to separate from it, heal from it, and learn to love myself, but it has taken a lot of effort. I hope you find what you're looking for on here. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starsandart Posted August 14, 2020 Author Share Posted August 14, 2020 @BooksandTrees Thank you for this response, it was really delightful to read it and feel so understood! I like that schedule suggestion, and I'll give it a go. I have a lot of trouble with sticking to any kind of routine or schedule...I have to keep trying for weeks before it will stick. BUT when I've been able to do it, it really has helped me get more out of life. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheNewMe2.0 Posted August 14, 2020 Share Posted August 14, 2020 Welcome to the forums. I know what it is to use gaming to escape. How the more you escape the further out of reach your real life becomes. It's like getting swept out to sea. It seems harmless at first and then you can barely see the shore. I think you've grabbed onto a life preserver though coming to this site. Keep posting and you'll be making strides on dry land in no time. Sounds like you're already moving towards building a better life than you were living. Good luck with your career and hobbies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jasperior Posted September 3, 2020 Share Posted September 3, 2020 (edited) Music will help you overcome your hardships and negative thoughts about your life. Refer to the address klingeltöne offers the most prestigious free phone ringtones today. Edited September 4, 2020 by Jasperior Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hegmannkris Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 (edited) Hello! This life has many beautiful things, be optimistic. Let's enjoy some favorite music at Sonnerie Portable Gratuite Edited October 10, 2020 by hegmannkris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CeridwenCeridwen Posted January 8, 2021 Share Posted January 8, 2021 (edited) Indeed, what I am looking for is shared by you. Tonos de llamada will be of great help to you. Try to find them everywhere? Thanks for that. Edited January 9, 2021 by CeridwenCeridwen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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