Back to day 1...feeling horrible/hopeful!

[Lunaa__]

It's only been day 5 since no gaming streak and I already gave in to the craving lolol... Here is what happened:

I came home from work and just when I was relaxing, the cravings butted in. And I got persuaded to play in moderation, which I did, for 20 minutes. That made me want to play more later tonight and tomorrow and probably I would have logged on every single day after, BUT, I stopped the ball from rolling too far.

One of my online friends got on so I told her what I was about to do. I was about to unfriend everyone in the game, get rid of all my online items, and log out forever, which I did. I'm so glad she was understanding but the idea of saying good-bye to someone (even a stranger I met online) left me feeling a bit horrible about myself. It even seemed ruthless. Maybe I should've unfriended her and everyone else without anyone knowing. I don't know.

I'm kind of glad I did it cause now the social aspect of the game is cut out. Now I can invest in real life friendships instead of always thinking about how my online friends are doing in the back of my head. Maybe this craving was needed in order for me to take this step. Again, I don't know. 

Welp, the number goes back to day 1 but I feel like I made a step forward instead of backwards. I no longer feel that strong tie to the game I've been having. Instead, just a bit of remorse, but time will do its thing. I want to go live my life now lol. No more gaming!! No more wasting time!! 

 

Edited July 18, 2020 by Lunaa__

[Amphibian220]

Welcome to the forum, hope this website will change your life for the better.

what new activities are you going to substitute that have the elements of socializing, escapism, challenge and sense of progression?. Usually the moment you find something really fitting those categories , all the pressure and anxiety goes away.

Edit: i don’t see it as “day 1” after relapsing. I see it (in your case) as 4 days not gaming followed by a realization on day 5 that requires an action plan.

Edited July 18, 2020 by Amphibian220

[Lunaa__]

@Amphibian220 I'm working on finding new hobbies at the moment. And thank you for your encouraging word that my efforts aren't all lost. 🙂

[TheNewMe2.0]

Hello, welcome to the forums. Good job stopping the ball from rolling too far. I can understand the guilt of leaving your gaming friends. But, it's what you have to do to survive. You've gotta put yourself first sometimes. Take care.