Coyote's Journal

[cardboardcoyote]

I've been really moody, tired, restless, and depressed the past few days. I originally came in here wanting to quit multiplayer games exclusively, as I had issues with games like Overwatch. I downloaded some singleplayer games on my switch and guess what? I played 30 hours of the witcher 3 in the first week of my "detox." 

 

So I'm back now, 3 days after having wiped my switch and put it away. I'm doing a full 90 day detox, with the goal to just not play games moving forward period.

 

So far, to fill my time I've been...

• gardening

• spending time with housemates

• reading

• watching horror movies

• working more

• cooking

 

I am happy with all of these activities, I just wish I felt a little better. I know this will pass, but it sure feels crappy. I plan to check in here a few times a week, so until next time...

 

~coyote

[cardboardcoyote]

I'm feeling angry, bored, exhausted...

 

But I'm coming here to write in my journal instead of seeking out a game to play. What can I do tonight instead of gaming? 

• Cook dinner (tacos yessss)

• Watch a horror movie (haven't seen Oldboy and it's on my list)

• Take 30 mins to do a house project

• Get back into a good book (reading the Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson)

• Take some time to be outside

• Deep breathing

 

That's enough of a plan...not much else to report.

[TheNewMe2.0]

Welcome to the forums. Your plan looks solid. I've seen Oldboy. It was pretty good. I think it has an interesting story and the cinematography are nice too. I like taking time outside. It's refreshing to be in nature.

[cardboardcoyote]

I have been struggling! I did a factory reset on my switch last time I posted and put it in a drawer. But a few days ago I got it out again and installed some games. My sleep is seriously suffering, I'm cranky, and I feel like I'm not living for myself. I obviously can't handle having a gaming system in the house, so I am getting rid of the switch--today. 

 

I'm sad to think that I will never play some of my favorite games again--single player games like Skyrim, where I loved getting lost in the world. I see now that this is a huge trigger for me--nostalgia and wishing to disappear into a fantasy world. If anything, I want to find more things to invest my time in IRL, so that I don't feel such a need to escape. Otherwise, there are less harmful ways for me to escape, such as books, or even a movie. 

 

One clear example: for a while I was playing the new Animal Crossing for an hour or so every morning, just to do my in-game "chores." Watering plants, digging up fossils, saying hi to villagers, etc. Lately, I've been spending time with my houseplants every morning. I have probably 20 plants and they're all unique species. It's great to tend to them in the morning while I wait for the kettle to boil. It seems ridiculous to go back to doing chores in Animal Crossing when I get so much joy from my plants throughout the day! 

 

I want to think more about this in future posts, but the hard work of the day is getting rid of my switch and not looking back. I've played it for 2.5 years or so, and while I had some good memories, it is not a positive force in my life now and has not been for a long time. Onward and upward.

 

~Coyote

[Icandothis]

Hi!

Thank you for sharing your journey here. It is really courageous of you to take these steps to make huge change in your life. 
 

I really hope your taco dinner from the other night was amazing. Sounds so good my friend! 
 

Sending joy and hope you have the most wonderful day. 🌺

[TheNewMe2.0]

ya get off that switch good job

Edited July 5, 2020 by Erik2.0