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amchow
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I've been struggling with the thought of inserting gaming in moderation back into my time blocks after 1 month of detoxing and I am wondering...

Thoughts on this and what has happened with those who have attempted to do this before the 90 days are finished?

Note: I do not intend to ever return to MMORPGs as that is where my addiction lay. I am more so thinking about modded/easy single player offline games as alternatives.

Edited by amchow
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I think the important thing is that you are conscious of your gametime and you actively moderate it.  Gaming can be treated like dessert.   Possible to enjoy occasionally but causes problems if you indulge in it to the detriment of your other objectives.

As long as you don't let it become your "default" activity and you stay away from games that have mechanics that are intended to induce compulsive behavior you should be OK.  Basically avoid any f2p game and any online multiplayer, except if you play those only with friends and always set pre-determined time limits. 

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I'd say no. You're already thinking about moderation after less than a month which means you'd think about playing full time again once you moderately game. I've been on this website for two years and every single person I've seen try to moderately game ends up relapsing and most of the time they never return to this website. I've seen a few hundred people do this. Sometimes they come back, but relapse again and never return. 

I'm not trying to throw shade at them either. This is a serious addiction and you really need about 6 months to a year without gaming to consider moderation. You need months of sustained activity, stress management methods, and adjustment to a new way of life before it can be considered. I've also seen people celebrate a year without gaming on here start gaming in moderation and then have a full blown relapse and never return. It's important to stick this out and return to the reasons why you quit in the first place to remind yourself why it's bad for you in particular. 

Good luck. I don't want to scare you with my post but I'm just showing what actually happens. I've never seen anyone on this website successfully play in moderation and then lead the life they want and I read everyone's journal. 

Edited by BooksandTrees
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19 hours ago, amchow said:

I've been struggling with the thought of inserting gaming in moderation back into my time blocks after 1 month of detoxing and I am wondering...

Thoughts on this and what has happened with those who have attempted to do this before the 90 days are finished?

Note: I do not intend to ever return to MMORPGs as that is where my addiction lay. I am more so thinking about modded/easy single player offline games as alternatives.

Hey @amchow, I'm thinking the same as well since last week. What's your plan now? I plan to play only at night, after dinner only or with 1-2 friends, but I'm still thinking about it. It's just that, I don't want to repeat the process of detoxification all over again. All of my progress will go back to 0%. I don't want to level from level 1 again. Haha. Good luck man.
 

5 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

This is a serious addiction and you really need about 6 months to a year without gaming to consider moderation. You need months of sustained activity, stress management methods, and adjustment to a new way of life before it can be considered.

Hey there @BooksandTrees, thanks for answering amchow's question which is also my question in mind. Moreover, thanks for sharing other's experiences as well. You saved me a lot of time looking for answers. I'm afraid that tomorrow, next day or some other time, I would just disappear here and, like what you said,

5 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

have a full blown relapse and never return.

 

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5 hours ago, chiliflavor said:

Hey @amchow, I'm thinking the same as well since last week. What's your plan now? I plan to play only at night, after dinner only or with 1-2 friends, but I'm still thinking about it. It's just that, I don't want to repeat the process of detoxification all over again. All of my progress will go back to 0%. I don't want to level from level 1 again. Haha. Good luck man.
 

Hey there @BooksandTrees, thanks for answering amchow's question which is also my question in mind. Moreover, thanks for sharing other's experiences as well. You saved me a lot of time looking for answers. I'm afraid that tomorrow, next day or some other time, I would just disappear here and, like what you said,

 

No problem. I don't mean to sound gloomy either. As you guys can see from how popular my diary is I've interacted with almost every member on this site in 2 years and just see what happens. I've talked to people every day for months just to see them drop and leave. I'm not making fun of them, but I am just showing how powerful this addiction is and if people do not find proper stress coping techniques then they'll relapse. 

I hope you continue your journey as well. I don't even suggest quitting multiple things at once until several months of success with one field. I'm starting to quit porn after almost 2 years game free. It's just hard. 

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@BooksandTrees

Thanks for the advice. I thought about it more and you are right. I am not ready to even consider it and the fact I am feeling the pull at such an early stage is not a good thing. 

To be honest, the risks are too high for me to even consider it right now. 

I was reacting too heavily to emotional instability I was having at the time as I had a bit of a spat with my mom before work and was not in a good mood when I posted this question plus I have also been struggling with the fear of letting it go entirely (even though that option would be the best for my life). 

My main motivation when it came to moderation was to prove to my parents that I could moderate and not go back to gaming full time like I used to. Also, I want to manage my time investment on it and not treat it like an emotional crutch like I used to. 

Right now, I won't consider it as I am starting think I am not ready to consider it due to how I am currently managing stress from family and potentially work further down the line. 

I also have no intention of leaving this community as it is essential to me staying the course. 

@chiliflavor

I would listen to BooksandTrees and not consider moderation right now. Focus on winning every day and not go consider it until you've had months to establish new routines, habits and mindsets.  

Edited by amchow
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7 minutes ago, amchow said:

@BooksandTrees

Thanks for the advice. I thought about it more and you are right. I am not ready to even consider it and the fact I am feeling the pull at such an early stage is not a good thing. 

To be honest, the risks are too high for me to even consider it right now. 

I was reacting too heavily to emotional instability I was having at the time as I had a bit of a spat with my mom before work and was not in a good mood when I posted this question plus I have also been struggling with the fear of letting it go entirely (even though that option would be the best for my life). 

My main motivation when it came to moderation was to prove to my parents that I could moderate and not go back to gaming full time like I used to. Also, I want to manage my time investment on it and not treat it like an emotional crutch like I used to. 

Right now, I won't consider it as I am starting think I am not ready to consider it due to how I am currently managing stress from family and potentially work further down the line. 

I also have no intention of leaving this community as it is essential to me staying the course. 

@chiliflavor

I would listen to BooksandTrees and not consider moderation right now. Focus on winning every day and not go consider it until you've had months to establish new routines, habits and mindsets.  

Good. You also just proved that emotional stress makes you turn to gaming. You probably already knew that, but you're becoming more aware. Now you have to experiment with activities and actions to reduce that stress from arguments. Do you listen to music on the way to work, focus on work, clear your mind, then open conversation with your mom to logically resolve the issue? Who knows. That's what I'd try. 

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@BooksandTrees

I listen to music on the way to work. 

Once things got busy at work, it took my mind off the stress from home. Plus, I have a group of nice and fun loving colleagues who are very good at keeping morale up so it got me in a better mood. 

My mom and I made amends the following day so everything is all good now. 

What I am more concerned about for myself is when they leave to return home today. I'll be alone at home alone a lot and I'll be dealing with a whole new set of urges to game and lie about it (which I don't want to do). 

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2 hours ago, amchow said:

@BooksandTrees

I listen to music on the way to work. 

Once things got busy at work, it took my mind off the stress from home. Plus, I have a group of nice and fun loving colleagues who are very good at keeping morale up so it got me in a better mood. 

My mom and I made amends the following day so everything is all good now. 

What I am more concerned about for myself is when they leave to return home today. I'll be alone at home alone a lot and I'll be dealing with a whole new set of urges to game and lie about it (which I don't want to do). 

Plan 2 activities. One creative and engaging and one relaxing. Keep yourself occupied. Remember how your job kept your mind off of your mom? Same strategy with games. Call a family member or friend if needed. 

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Yeah. I have a multitude of activities:

  • Learning a spoken language on Duolingo
  • Learning coding on CodeAcademy
  • Writing stories
  • reading books
  • Listening to music
  • Watching TV shows like Law and Order SVU and Blue Bloods
  • Typing classes for funsies
  • LEGO modeling 
  • Recreational coding (no gaming apps). 

Just a matter of planning which one to do on which days. 

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  • 1 month later...

You also have to consider that gaming addiction is just like substance addiction. Once you get addicted the first time, it becomes easier and easier to become addicted after detoxing; just one hit could get you hooked again, and a gaming hit would be like an hour or two of gaming. 
 

you also have to consider that there are some personality traits that can make it easier for you to pick up or return to an addiction. Addictive personality disorder can make it hard to avoid addictions. 

For example, I have an addictive personality because I like the act of organizing things into groups. When I was younger, I had toys that I would play with like any child, but instead of using my imagination to play, I just put them in rows based on specific categories. i did that for all of my childhood until I grew out of toys and into games. Games like roller coaster tycoon, sim city, sim tower, the sims, starcraft, spore, Star Wars: Empire at war, and Final Fantasy 8 fed into that obsession all the way until after I graduated from high school in 2009. The Metroid series was addicting as well, but only because those were my favorite puzzle/action games. 

 In college, minecraft became my addiction. I played on the stompzcraft and great light desert servers. The fact the Minecraft can satisfy all four of the known gaming needs(Escape, growth, objective, and challenge) as well as my obsession made it the most addicting game that I’ve ever played. Even after college and until recently, I would periodically play Minecraft.

 After college, I was able to completely replace gaming with game programming, and that became an addiction as well. But eventually I went back to gaming. At this point, I think it’s safe for me to say that I’ll never be returning to games if I make it to 90 days. There is just too much at stake for me to go back. I’ll go find something else to organize.

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Hey, @Dpesuti.

Thanks for the insights. 

Thankfully, I came to that conclusion a long while ago and made the conscious decision to change what I perceived my identity to be in order to detach from gaming completely. 

I accepted that gaming is not something I can pick up again as the danger levels of me being addicted again were too high to even consider the risk. 

Thus I chose to stay away. With me being accountable to my parents and both small groups at church and having gained so much since that identity change and decision to stay away from games, I don't believe it is worth returning to games on my end. I would consider myself weak and emotionally immature if I did that. 

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5 minutes ago, amchow said:

Hey, @Dpesuti.

Thanks for the insights. 

Thankfully, I came to that conclusion a long while ago and made the conscious decision to change what I perceived my identity to be in order to detach from gaming completely. 

I accepted that gaming is not something I can pick up again as the danger levels of me being addicted again were too high to even consider the risk. 

Thus I chose to stay away. With me being accountable to my parents and both small groups at church and having gained so much since that identity change and decision to stay away from games, I don't believe it is worth returning to games on my end. I would consider myself weak and emotionally immature if I did that. 

I can’t wait to get to that point. I’m on day 9 now and I’m really feeling it. I want these games out of my life and out of my personality!

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In my opinion, people are easily addicted to gaming because of the instant rewards that it gave them. The dopamine release is quick and there's so many of them when playing video games. However, other things can also give us rewards. For example, exercises give you the rewards of health, but not as quick as playing games, because you have to be consistent in your exercises, and maybe you'll feel the rewards months after you started. Learning a programming language, or video editing will give you the rewards of money, but not that quick, because you have to be consistent in building the skills needed to get a job, or build your own business from that. Maybe it will take months, or years after you started.

My point is, when you want to quit gaming and direct your mind to other things, think about the rewards that they will give you. The money from programming skills, or the health from doing exercises, just know that you won't get the rewards as quick as playing games. 

Hope this helps.

Also, maybe helpful: dopamine vs serotonin.

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On 6/21/2020 at 4:08 AM, amchow said:

Yeah. I have a multitude of activities:

  • Learning a spoken language on Duolingo
  • Learning coding on CodeAcademy
  • Writing stories
  • reading books
  • Listening to music
  • Watching TV shows like Law and Order SVU and Blue Bloods
  • Typing classes for funsies
  • LEGO modeling 
  • Recreational coding (no gaming apps). 

Just a matter of planning which one to do on which days. 

I am currently learning web development on CodeAcademy. We can share to each other, e.g. our difficulties, challenges or goals of learning to code if you want 🙂

I am currently focusing to get a web development job and eventually create my own business doing software/web development. This kind of focus has helped me to direct my focus away from playing games. Just maybe a helpful thought.

Edited by Stanly Kwok
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@Stanly Kwok

Thanks for the suggestion. I actually got over this phase of even considering moderation quite some time ago as I accepted there was no such thing as middle ground when it pertained to gaming. 

I'm also taking courses on CodeAcademy for fun mostly as I had put it off for a long time and I just do one lesson a day to pace myself. 

My main career path is in mechanical design and 3D modeling and I started a job as a Design Engineer two months ago so I am more focused on putting together 3D LEGO models on Studio 2.0 (which you can see in some of my journal entries). 

I love my job and my new hobbies are keeping me busy. Plus I have a very strong support network with my parents and both small groups from church. Thus, a lot of motivation not to return to gaming. 

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