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Resisting urges.


Julon
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For me it is not that hard to stay away from games, because I would have to download the whole game and that takes forever. To stay away from reddit/youtube/other social media however  is really hard. It‘s so easily accessible and once I click on one video, the next hours will also be spent watching useless stuff. Only a glimpse of a video title  or post can cause, that I take really rash decisions. Often  even rational thinking can‘t counter these thoughts/ decisions it‘s like my brain is in “addiction mode“ in one second.

I would love to just throw out every electronic device... but I have to use them all the time for school, especially during this pandemic. I also have to carry my phone with me most of the times so  I am reachable.

Does anyone else have this problem and/ or can recommend steps I can take to resist urges? ( I have tried DF youtube, but it‘s so easy to turn off and it‘s only available on PC (my phone is a bigger problem for me))

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There are several ways to stay away from gaming.

First you have to find your own identity. Are you someone who is comfortable to play in moderation (1 hour a day of media) or someone who can not ever stop a videogame once he sits down.

The second thing is, do you have any goals in your life? What do you want to achive? Can you replace that tasks with your gaming time?

The third thing is, can you socialice? Meet friend or have some hobby who does not involve electronics?

We really need to know a little more about you to help you properly.

I think you just have to experience the two sides (without computers and with videogaming) to really understand what a waste of time it is.

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On 4/22/2020 at 6:29 PM, Julon said:

For me it is not that hard to stay away from games, because I would have to download the whole game and that takes forever. To stay away from reddit/youtube/other social media however  is really hard. It‘s so easily accessible and once I click on one video, the next hours will also be spent watching useless stuff. Only a glimpse of a video title  or post can cause, that I take really rash decisions. Often  even rational thinking can‘t counter these thoughts/ decisions it‘s like my brain is in “addiction mode“ in one second.

I would love to just throw out every electronic device... but I have to use them all the time for school, especially during this pandemic. I also have to carry my phone with me most of the times so  I am reachable.

Does anyone else have this problem and/ or can recommend steps I can take to resist urges? ( I have tried DF youtube, but it‘s so easy to turn off and it‘s only available on PC (my phone is a bigger problem for me))

 

I have the exact same issues. I use an app called stayfocused to put blocks on my phone and an app called cold turkey to put blocks on my laptop. The long term goal would be to not require these blocks however they definitely help in the short term.

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2 hours ago, Havey said:

I use an app called stayfocused to put blocks on my phone

So, I used "stayfocused" for a while as well; but on my computer. And of course it worked quite well. But here is my issue I have with those blockers: You are basically admitting to yourself that you are not in control of your behavior. That being said, I like to compare them with calorie counting. Because when you count calories, you are also using a mechanism to "control" your behavior. First of all, there is nothing wrong there, to have some kind of external help to get used to dealing with not doing it. But eventually, the pillar has to be removed, so that you can stand on your own feet. I think what is more important for those supporting mechanisms, is that they are quite the learning experience: Once I started counting calories, I really understood, what kind of stuff I put in my mouth and what the consequences of this are. The same with those blockers. Once I was working on a study subject with the blockers activated, I would see myself constantly and brainlessly open a new tab and open stuff like youtube or facebook, which I had blocked. Then this little window would appear telling me: Shouldn't you work? It was such a crazy experience. I would observe myself open useless tabs like 8 times per hour. Really insane! So, for that purpose, to really understand yourself, your behavior and who you are without gaming or whatever, the blockers are incredibly useful. Eventually however, you need to allow yourself to disable them, even if it means that you "relapse", which is not a bad thing at all. I think this is a very personal process, when to realize that one is ready to let go external helpers.

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  • 3 weeks later...

 

On 4/23/2020 at 5:29 AM, Julon said:

To stay away from reddit/youtube/other social media however  is really hard

I can relate to you mate. I often end up watching youtube or browsing the internet. Not that I give up on the fight, but it seems to throw me into YT not matter how hard I try. I understand when you say rational thinking can’t counter these thoughts.

I know a way that definitely works on counter this. We game not because we just game, we are trying to get something out of gaming. Same goes for using social media, even browsing randomly. People might think it does not seem like we are trying to get anything when browsing randomly. Well, we are trying to fill the void inside. To go deeper, what does the void mean? How does it occur in the first place? Maybe because a person is feeling lonely, maybe he is needing a sense of success from gaming and he cannot get that since quitting, maybe he is overwhelmed by stresses in life, you name it. Most of the time we don’t want to think about those reasons, because they are the vulnerable parts of us. But facing those vulnerable parts of us is the first thing we need to heal and set free from them.

How do we do it? You can write on your journal at home, talk to a mate, etc. Sometimes people wrongly believe “Man should not cry about their hurts”, but it’s those who can look at their hurts in the eyes that are the real man. 

I am on this journey. Although it’s not smooth sailing, like everything else in life, but when I really face my problems head on I get no desires no urges whatsoever to browsing and watching. Because I know the root cause of my urges and I can deal with the root causes directly. 

This is just my 2 cents.

Edited by BgK
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