How to deal with guilt

[Adamski]

Hello, 

First day of no gaming. It has not been that hard not playing games, rather I've been dealing with guilt. 

An emotion researcher said that "Emotions arise in response to events that are important to the individual's goals, motives or concerns". That explains very much why I'm feeling this way since I know that video games are hindering my potential and what I want to accomplish in my life. I was in a good place prior to playing video games a couple of days ago and long to get back. I've made up my mind and I intend to change my behavior. 

My thoughts today have been mainly of regret. Regret is useless and a waste of time, there is no use crying over spilled milk. Yet I'm still feeling this way and resisting these feelings will just prolong the process. It's best to accept where you are, be patient, take one day at a time and focus on getting better. 

How do you deal with guilt?

https://gph.is/1ce7RU2

Stay safe.

Adam

[Amphibian220]

Welcome to the forum and I wish you success. Little steps in the right direction have a compounding effect on your state. They don’t just add up, they multiply.

Uncontrolled gaming is something that requires us to actively seek help, take care of our needs, establish meaningful connections with people.

From my observation, relapse happens in all cases, but instances of relapse are supposed to fall over time, and reaction to them should change. At the point near recovery, there is little emotional need for gaming / time wasting. Somewhere in between, relapse stops to upset a person and he gets back on track faster.

[Adamski]

17 hours ago, Amphibian220 said:

Welcome to the forum and I wish you success. Little steps in the right direction have a compounding effect on your state. They don’t just add up, they multiply.

Uncontrolled gaming is something that requires us to actively seek help, take care of our needs, establish meaningful connections with people.

From my observation, relapse happens in all cases, but instances of relapse are supposed to fall over time, and reaction to them should change. At the point near recovery, there is little emotional need for gaming / time wasting. Somewhere in between, relapse stops to upset a person and he gets back on track faster.

Thank you Amphibian220, 

I agree with you. relapse is part of recovery. I imagine that you get more efficient at getting back on track faster as you say, by every relapse.

Could it also not be true that as you get better, the longer you have to fall and the harder a relapse affects you? Like a drug addict getting his shit together, got his health in check, a good job and started a family. But then he started using again and now he has much more to loose. Maybe that scenario is not realistic, why would you even go back to that when you've come so far? Just a thought. 

Take care!

[Alexanderle]

Guilt is my companion. It is always there in the background, ready to remind me of my mistakes and past. The fact that I wasted half a year in sum the last couple of years just with gaming - that is always there. The fact that I was overweight and not very industrious, this will never vanish. And you are right @Adamski the more you change yourself, the more you have to loose. It is different to relapse, when you are a gamer, then if you turned into a gym rat or high achiever. Therefore, it is highly realistic, what you are saying in my opinion. You can use this regret as an engine, but don't forget to also use the engine of your future goals and wishes and the engine that kicks in on the way. After all, it is a never ending process. There is always something to accomplish. Those three things, regret, fun on the way and desirable, realistic goals are the key in my opinion.