Relapse after 4 days.

[TwoSidedLife]

I just relapsed and gamed for an hour. At first I wanted to reinstall and play another game, but I couldnt be bothered waiting. So I played on a console. At first I couldnt decide what to play and didnt feel like playing. I cant get rid of any consoles since I have a sibling and their friend living here too (Despite the fact that I wasted $800 on that piece of shit. Nobody in my personal life is supportive of me stopping either, not even my psychologist).

 

I want to commit to stopgaming, but I think me personally joining/being apart of a community doesnt help or benefit me (Sorry guys). I had the same feeling about pot. At 3 months in I couldnt bring myself to join a community still, even though I had many questions. Seeing the word 'gaming' makes me crave it.

 

I guess im lost for words. Maybe i'll be back, maybe not. But i'll keep trying to get to 90 days.

[Mouxine]

Don't be too hard on yourself. You relapsed and played for 1 hour only after 4 days of nothing ? it's not that bad, it's pretty harmless if you get up again now. Look at the reasons you have to stop gaming : looking at them will give you the boost to stop again.

I understand your hardship. My older brother was mocking me when I stopped gaming for the first time, and recently I relapsed because I listened to his advice : "come on, try to control your urges to play and play reasonnably". Well I'm too weak to game reasonnably, unlike my brother, and his advice was a cursed trap ! I got into a damned gaming binge for 6 month because of that, and my couple and children suffering. So I think you shouldn't seek support from people who don't give a shit about your dreams and goals, even if they are your family ! Family is a blessing if they help you to grow, but they can be a curse if they push you to have a lesser life.

I don't think joining the community is a must, try it and if it helps you keep it up, if it doesn"t trash it. I still think it helps most of the time. The goal if your life, not us, but don't waste your precious life on gaming, you deserve better.

[TwoSidedLife]

@Mouxine Thanks. I'm starting again on Day 1 cause I know it's a waste of time. Great advice and I really appreciate it! Ifeel like i'll come back and contribute to the community again when I get to 30 days. Just so I can feel more stable being here and get some things done in the meantime.

[Mouxine]

I was planning to follow your daily journal, *sob* *sob*.

As you see, having support is really helpful, especially when cravings gets hard or you feel discouraged because you relapsed again. I think you should still consider giving us 15 min a day, it's not too much and I think it will help you greatly.

I'm being curious, which part of my advice did you find helpful ?

[Guest]

Thomas Edison’s Light Bulb Failures

It is often said that Thomas Edison failed 1000 times before successfully inventing the prototype of the light bulb.

 

When a reporter asked Edison how it felt to fail 1,000 times, Edison replied: “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention of 1,000 steps.”

[Cam Adair]

What's your resistance to a community? You mentioned you were lonely in your journal and then here you post that you don't want to be a part of a community. I relate to it because for a long time I was lonely yet I pushed everyone around me away. It was when I started to really look deep down as to why that was (I was bullied a lot so afraid of not being accepted) that I was able to shift it and start building relationships again.