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forth and back and always stuck


ketias
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Been playing games for nearly 25 years and got into a real addiction 20 years ago, with my first Mmorpg. It gave a sense of accept, being able to have skills others needed, being accepted. A feeling real life did not offer much of, at that time. With in a year I had lost my job, due to to many "sick days", a month later I lost my home and ended up crashing on a couch at a gaming friend and then it was all gaming 18 hours a day for the next year. 

I luckily escaped that, when I got a job far away and decided to leave it all behind. 

Everything was good for a while, but then World of Warcraft came out and I was right back into it, I did however manage better to keep work a priority (for the most parts), but that ment less time playing, so instead it started affecting my social life with my family. I would come up with excuses, to avoid dinners, Birthday parties and so on, just to be able to play a little longer. 
I meet one of my best friends and have known him for 17 years now, but to this day, even he has no idea of my addiction, as it went so far that i would even be hiding that i was playing Wow. In a way i was ashamed that i was playing it, cause he was always the one saying that he didn't understand why people would waste time on such games. 

The years went by and i jumped from Job to Job and game to game, while watching friends getting married, have kids and live life, while i was gaining levels, making virtual pixels spending hours and hours on things that would someday just be left alone, when the next game came along. 
I found a game, i set a goal, spent hours on completing it as fast as possible, got bored after completing it and found a new game or goal.

Last year i decided the quick, cold turkey. I deleted all games, Steam and battle net, unsubscribed to twitch and gaming forums and spent a whole friday without gaming, just laying on the couch watching TV to keep my mind of gaming. 
Then came Saturday and i started thinking, "well.....1 hour per day is doable", so i installed all the crap again, played an hour......found a goal and suddenly it was Sunday night.... and another year went by, right back where i started. 

Today, I'm at it again, i deleted everything, but this time i chose to even cut all ties with "friends" i had online. Logged off on steam, twitch, discord and so on, to avoid getting any messages. 
i uninstalled everything, packed up gaming keyboard and game pad and found this forum. 
I am not sure what i expect from here, but i hope maybe it can help me stay away this time and getting my life ..... well starting a life.

Edited by ketias
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hey welcome to the forums. It's really important that you find new things to do with your time to avoid that 'sitting around staring at the ceiling' experience where it's easy to justify gaming because it can't be any worse than just being bored. This video can help you with that and this tool can help you choose activities.

 

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@ketias Hello, I'm Lea. I have a few suggestions for you to get started. Here are some of my suggestions:

1. Exercise (I know it is sort of commonplace, but this is really helpful.)

2. Learning a new free course online.

3. Learning a new language in apps like Duolingo.

4. Writing a journal.

5. Try something you never thought you will do (e.g. carpentry or surfing).

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Hey Ketias! Welcome to the forum . It's never to late to make the changes you want to see, and you're off to a good start. As Cam and Lea stated, finding new activities to fill the void of when you would game is a big key to fighting the lure to relapse. Best of luck and just take things one day at a time!

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