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Ashley K.

Cut to the chase

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Day 1:

I’m counting this as the first day even though I stopped playing video games an hour ago and it’s 1:18AM.

I didn’t bother posting in Relapse because I wanted to get straight to the point and just keep going. It’s hard. Playing for 20+ years, being a stay at home mom and being a “hermit”. The stress from family life takes a toll on you and you look for an escape from your kids to have time to yourself and that’s where video games come in. Instead of me taking them outside to burn off some energy and to get myself out of the house. I just stay inside and stress out. 

It’s no way to live. I made a goal for myself to make six figures by the time I’m 37-38. Not starting what I set out to do will be my biggest regret later on in life. I’m done wasting time. 

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Day 2-4:

Getting down the the nitty gritty of my gaming addiction is what I’ve been trying to figure out for a few years now. But I did notice a trigger that makes me go back. It’s not watching someone else play, watching a Let’s Play video or a Twitch stream. 

It’s from family life. It sounds bad but that’s where I think it’s coming from. I’m at home all day everyday with my 2 kids, along with my husband. The last friend I had I lost months ago because he broke our friendship for his girlfriend. I don’t have the means of going places because I don’t have any money (I’m literally poor) and I live with my parents. So when I stress out I feel like I’m spiraling out of control and I’m in this deep hole I can’t get out of. So when that happens, I play to get my mind off of it. 

This isn’t fun and every time it happens I feel like I’m setting myself back every single time. 

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