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drFloyd

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3/4/2018

Today is the first day i quit. I thought it won't be much, coz i have decided to stop playing before. But today feels different, because i have decided to quit all together, not just stop. I have played since 12 and i am 28 now, so gaming have always been one part of me. But yesterday I came to the realisation, that if i were to be successful in this life, which I had always subconsciously aimed for, then the gaming have to go, no matter what. I have quitted right the way.

So today, the first day I have quitted, I live my life in full (my life is indeed not bad at all, just not good enough to my perfectionist's standard), faced with all the things that I like about my life and those i don't, head-on, no escape. I found that, it wasn't so bad. I see glimpses of solution to my problems, and I am enjoying studying much more(or as much as long before). So what have i tried and done today? Today I managed to study for 4 hours straight, although still not enough, according to my set goal, I enjoy doing it, again. With gaming I just cannot study that long before i cannot enjoy studying anymore.

Next i went to an Meetup event. I have used to hate going to these gatherings and speaking to people, but with gaming gone, a large part of me gone, feeling terrible, i have to have a go with Meetup. I need to meet with somebody. But, as I have expected, it sucked still, to be in these meetings. But the miracle is, that now i would think to myself, "well perhaps next time I can get better" or "it wasn't so bad, these people are really nice". In short, I started to see the bright side, of an situation, which the past me would consider bad and a complete waste of time.

Then, I ride home with my bike, in a cold dark night, in a foreign country which i don't have any friends, and where i don't speak the local language well. 

I think there is certain merit, and reason to the whole quit gaming thing, This is exactly where the sense lies - that without gaming, we face life and live in it, instead of putting life into background, and not seeking any change or improvement of it. I now think I had made a decision, that I will not regret about, that i only hope i have made earlier.

Edited by drFloyd
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4/42018

Today sucked. I worried a lot about my performance in learning, about my future, or about whether i would accomplish my goals. With gaming now gone i have no safehouse to go to anymore. I managed to overcome the thoughts, and studied anyway. 

It is a strange feeling. With gaming now gone, I do things mindfully. Life seems to unfold before me in a much more realistic, tangible way. I seemed to have a clearer mind and had made some better decisions. The sky seems bluer than it used to be. 

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5/4/2018 Day 3

Not much happened today. 

Perhaps its because i have do more biking since i have quitted gaming, as now without gaming i would even enjoy being stuck in the traffic, got lost in the new town, wasting an hour trying to find the right route to my school (as my phone battery continue to be dead, thanks Apple!). That adrenalin rush from biking helped a lot to keep up my energy level through out the day. 

Although my worries continues, i now see the distinction between my thoughts and reality. I see that those negative feelings has little to nothing to do with the study i have at hand, or neither with the chance of me achieving my goal. Because I see that my chance are as good as how much and how hard i would work. There is really no magic, no hidden tricks, just keep working, until achieving it. A few months before, after I have graduated from uni in my home town, and moved to this new town to continue education, I asked myself, why I have not a single talent after i have grown up. Even now in games, i am not that good (when i first started playing and was very young i was good). The answer seems quite clear now. I never have  put in enough struggle into getting to do something really good. I would find ways to save effort, escape from difficult struggles, and find shortcuts. And while these are required and necessary, they don't work when basic ground foundation hard work is just not there. 

It was really silly to think that a few study tricks can cut the exam prep time by 6 fold, so to make time for relaxing (i.e. gaming); silly to expect that human body can function to the same high level with little hours of sleep, so as to make time for relaxing (i.e. gaming); it was too difficult. This was clearly an addiction pattern.

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2 hours ago, drFloyd said:

It was really silly to think that a few study tricks can cut the exam prep time by 6 fold, so to make time for relaxing (i.e. gaming); silly to expect that human body can function to the same high level with little hours of sleep, so as to make time for relaxing (i.e. gaming); it was too difficult. This was clearly an addiction pattern.

I can resonate with this. Your brain trying to convince you that you don't need those other important things in your life, to get back to the addictive behavior. It's great that you've recognized it!

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Since consistency outweighs quality, i'll keep posting:

 

DAY # 4 

* Time I woke up: 1300

* Time I went to sleep yesterday:  0200

* Physical task: biked for half an hour to school and back

* Mental task: studied for 2 hours

* Projects: study planning for next semester


* What I regretted today

~ surfing the web for 4+ hours trying to buy parts to fix my bike

~ not have spent enough time studying


* Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

~ replied to the rude reply from professor

~ only the tyre is broken


* What I am grateful for today:

~ was not afraid to express myself 

~ the sun shines


Over and out! 

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3 minutes ago, drFloyd said:

* What I am grateful for today:

~ was not afraid to express myself 

Love this, but ...

3 minutes ago, drFloyd said:

~ the sun shines

Love this even more. ;) Have you ever heart David F. Wallace's speech "This is water"? If not, you should. It is astonishing how we often do not see the very basic things around us. Being grateful for a sunny day is a great way to turn a regular day into a sunny day. Love your attitude.

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DAY # 5

* Time I went to sleep yesterday:  0430

* Time I woke up: 0630

* Physical task: went to a day trip with new friends from univ

* Mental task: studied for total 2 hours, on the train and at home

* Projects: Researched on adopting polyphasic sleep. Currently looking at trying out the Everyman, with core at 1200-0400. I am doing this because this should boost my productivity, make available more usable time, and at the same time solve my sleep problems (mainly the irregularity i.e. lack of discipline). I believe that, if diet is the key to being a NFL player, then is sleep vital to a theoretical physicist. Recently I have also found out that dicing the time each day, with many sections of short studies, can boost my productivity. So polyphasic sleep is basically making most out of the two techniques. 


* What I regretted today

~ hated going on the trip at first

~ hating my new friends

~ not have enough time for studying

~ my food that i cooked yesterday, and brought with me to the trip, was rotten under the warm weather! I end up needing to cook again at night, wasting an hour more than i should.

~ having to fix my almost-breaking bed frame, without having any screwdrivers!!

~ having no time to reply to comments

~ summer is coming and i am not allowed to open my window and enjoy, as if i do my room will be filled with mosquitos.


* Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

~ enjoyed the day trip. Although at first it was really quite boring, with the usually things that i hated happening. But after some time, I have found that if I accept some of the things that sucked, then I would get some good stuff in return! Same for making friends, I found that my standard is just too high that perhaps no one can attain. So if I would just accept some of the defects of other human beings, then i might get some more friends. 


* What I am grateful for today:

~ being privileged. I am studying in foreign country, in a univ of my choice, and is allowed total freedom. I have full control of my time, environment, and people surrounding me. This way I can experiment, execute implement any new ideas, radical changes to my life-routine with almost zero time delay. But equally, if I fail to achieve the goal i aimed for i have no excuses. 

~ for having friends inviting me to a trip

~ weather is really really good!

~ managed to study while being sleep deprived tired

~ next semester going to start on Monday!


Over and out! 

Edited by drFloyd

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DAY # 6 

About Polyphasic sleep schedule : www.ChrisJeub.com/adding-28-hours-more-per-week

Short intro: the idea is to break up a normal 8 hour long single phase sleep into a core sleep and bunch of naps, with the intension of drastically reduce the amount of time of sleeping. For example in an established Everyman schedule one can sleep as little as 4 hours a day, and still function better than a person with normal sleep schedule.

So today was the first day of my Polyphasic sleep trial. It worked perfectly! I woke up at 630, felt very sleepy and cold at first 30 seconds or so, and then I was up and running. Although the brain capacity was quit very low in this time frame, i managed to study anyways. It took quite a lot of efforts to fix some calculation mistakes due to the sleepiness but it is certainly worth it. By around 9 I went to take my first planned nap for an hour. After that power nap my brain just snap into place and i started flying through pages of notes.

Through out the day I have finished all the planned houseworks - laundry, cleaning, cooking meal bike fixing and check, but the last is a hobby thing. I worked extremely slowly and was more enjoying than working. I switch from study to housework and back from time to time, and at the end of the day, I have studied five 2hour shifts! With little to no effort required to stay in focus! It was a breeze. It is so easy. I worked quite slowly, for example I washed my dishes for more than 15 minutes, enjoying the satisfaction of cleaning every single stain from my crockery. I just casually study and after some time i go doing some other stuff, and when i have finished i go back study again. I have been staying up for almost 16 hours now and had been for 16 hours productive. Its amazing, like when compared with the old gaming-me, it would take like 3 days to complete all these tasks, with the slow pace that I have today. 

 

*Sleep

* Woke up: 0630

* Naps: 0900(0.5hr, 1600(1hr, 2100(0.33hr

* Time went to sleep yesterday:  0130

* Sleep time today: 0100

 

*Taskes

* Physical task: fixing my bike, cleaning the whole apartment

* Mental task: studied for 10 hours

* All tasks: laundry 0.5hr , meal cooking 1hr , cleaning 2hr, bike fixing 1.5hr

* Projects: nothing particular 


* What I regretted today

~ nothing, not a thing


* Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

~ followed the Everyman schedule 

~ completed everything i planned, slowly and enjoyablily


* What I am grateful for today:

~ employed the polyphasic sleep schedule as a productivity booster and it actually worked

~ the clear mind my good sleep had given me

~ bright sky


Over and out! 

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DAY #7

Sleep

* Woke up: 0630

* Naps: 0730(0.3hr, 1400(0.5hr, total 0.8hr

* Time went to sleep yesterday:  0100

* Sleep time today: 0045

 

*Taskes

* Physical task: walking around in street for 2hr

* Mental task: attending lecture 2hr, studied for 6hours

* Projects: nothing particular 


* What I regretted today

~ wasted too much time walking around shopping malls trying to save some bucks 

~ be 2 hr late for meal time


* Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

~ feeling endlessly motivated


* What I am grateful for today:

~ for the nice schooling and nice first lecture


So tired, needdddd to sleep.

Over and totally out. 


 

 
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Edited by drFloyd

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DAY #8

Sleep

* Woke up: 0730

* Naps: 1300(0.3hr, 1700(0.75hr, total 1hr

* Time went to sleep yesterday:  0045

* Sleep time today: 0110

Gratitude journal

I am glad that I had decided to quit gaming. This way I do not have to waste time hesitating/choosing whether to study or not at any time point. Or just to go out there and do some stuff. This gives me a lot of sustainable enjoyment - e.g. I performed much better in school due to the amount of work I am now put into learning, and also to the improved studying plan. (Thanks Cam, I watched your video on "What if gaming is the only thing I am good at" video, and, while I am also good in science, this had rarely shown in class. This was mostly due to me not seeing to point the work hard, but when I do, I just work my ass off. I was as hardcore a gamer as a student, have done hard-core studying before when I was ~18y/o. By hard-core I mean 10+ hours per day of studying, 7 days a week one year. Now that I have switched my subject, I need to build up from zero my skills, confidence and dominance, and this what you mentioned is the way to do it - You analysed the points that make a good gamer, and suggest that they can also be applied to outside gaming - e.g. that the sheer amount of time we pour into gaming when put into focus on something else, can bring excellent result.)

It is quite silly, that there are many things, even the very difficult things, we can do them, but we wouldn't. The bed is just too comfortable; just one more game; this looks very tasty... etc. One just need to conjure a reason to do it. At least for me it is so. I know I can do and achieve lots of things, but I was not sure of it, and I was  just waiting for the reason/ the right breeze to tell me that I should do so. After dropping gaming, I no longer have to choose, and I have all the resources (time! energy!) back. Being resourceful, I do the obvious.

 

*Taskes

* Physical task: none at all

* Mental task: attending lectures 4hr, studied for ~4 hours

* Projects: nothing particular 


* What I regretted today

~ ignored two alarm calls, end up waking up at 7 and feeling tired the whole day.

~ wasted ~3 hours procrastinating, due to bad sleep


* Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

~ finished homework with easy, my training has paid off


* What I am grateful for today:

~ went repairing my iPhone

~ finished problem set quite smoothly


One amazing thing that happened

~ after fixing the battery, my iPhone is 1.5x faster!

 

Getting to bed before 9pm

 

Weekly Goal(s)

~ wake up at ~6 every day this week.

 

Monthly Goal

~ to consolidate the Everyman schedule

 

What I could have done to make my day better:

~ study more!

 

What I will do differently tomorrow:

~ take rest when tired, instead of procrastinating, 

~ do not snooze!!

 

Not so tired today, but going to sleep anyway

Over and out. 

 
Edited by drFloyd

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Today is a hard day, woke up not very refreshed, but I had great discussions with people. I have found out, again, that I am working to my own standard. It is also good to understand the common sense of other people and their common view on things. Also people around me are nice, and should be treated by me accordingly. I have my bike back and would be more energised tomorrow. Tomorrow we have our first lecture by my favourite Prof, on theoretical mechanics - what more can I look forward to???

DAY #9

Sleep

* Woke up: 0600

* Naps: 090(0.5hr, 1400(0.1hr, total 0.6hr

* Time went to sleep yesterday:  0100

* Sleep time today: 0100

 

*Taskes

* Physical task: bike fixing, turns out changing tires is not so a simple task

* Mental task: studied for 3hours; went to exam-review section, didn't do much

* Projects: method in physics...differential equations; problems and solution of physical problems, gonna solve problems daily.


* What I regretted today

~ wasted half a day, because I was exhausted and sleep deprived. 

~ not having much time left for anything


* Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

~ discussed with tutor and have got quite good answers to my questions, was effective in learning this way. Took a little more than an hour to get to the understanding level that I required myself to have.


* What I am grateful for today:

~ for all the nice setup that I have for myself, to prepare me for total immersion

~ nice talking to people

 

 

Need to wake up early, 

Over and totally out. 

 
Edited by drFloyd

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