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NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened

44 year old starting over in life


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just fresh in from reddit where I read some inspiring posts and finally decided that something has to change. So, first some info on me. My name is David and I'm 44 years old (but often feeling like I'm still in my teens, but more on that later). I'm from Germany, so therefore I hope for your patience with my english...

I've been playing video games since since the first video game consoles came out, so for nearly 40 years. It quickly became overwhelming and my number one hobby. School was hard and the games offered an easy escape, which of course only made school worse. I oftern ditched school just to sneak back into my home to keep playing or I went to a mall where I could play in a shop. Of course my grades declined, as did my social contacts (apart from 1-2 kids who where also into games).

Some things changed for the better when I met my (now) wife when I was 20 (staying true to the stereotypes she was my first real girlfriend). She put some fire under my lazy ass, so that I got up and learned a job. But still I was ditching days to have time to play. And thats the way it's been the last 20 years. Some times it was better and I used games like a normal hobby for a few hours a week. Then again I got hooked, called in sick to play as many hours as possible before my wife came home...

Since a few years we have 2 wonderfull kids and of course therefore I got even less time available for gaming. I guess thats the main reason why I thought that I got it under control. Most times I only played a few hours a week. I even stopped all gaming (except mobile) for a whole month now and then. So I thought "See, you can controll it, no big deal"....But then something changed and I got the chance to work from home 3 days a week. And I guess you all can imagine how my typical work day looks like when working at home...

So I had to realize, that even if I didn't play as much as in my earlier years, that it was not because of my decision, but merely because I didn't have enough time... The time I got, I played...So it became standard that my wife got into bed early (because she has to get up 1-2 hours before me) and I would play untill midnight and then struggle to get up at 6am.

Of course I tried playing in moderation a few times and maybe it worked for a few weeks...But in the end I always relapsed. The problem with deciding to quit forever ist that I've been playing for such a long time, that it feels like it just a part of me. I kept telling me "Hey, I'm a gamer, it's always been a big part of my life and I loved most of it, so it would be a kind of self-denial to try to erase if from my life."

But I can clearly see the negative impacts it had on me. Even with two kids and in my 40s the most times I don't really feal like an adult. I have trouble making decisions and accepting responsibility for my life. Thanks to the games, my willpower is weak and I'm always on the look for the quick dopamine fix...I even realized, that thanks to mobile gaming I had trouble even finishing more complicated games...So my willpower and concentration became worse even in terms of gaming.. The games I really finished became fewer and I hopped from one game to another as the excitement of a new game wore out..

Still I have a hard time totally banning games from my live. Of course I don't want my kids to make the same mistakes as I did...But I also don't want to demonize games as hobby if played in moderation. I want to be able to play Mario with them when they get older...And even if it may seem inconsistent looking at my history, but I think after a long detox I could play in moderation (only with my kids, not alone).

That's my starting point...This morning I deinstalled all my games and steam as well as all mobile games...

I have not yet decided what other hobby to pursue, since the most time I spent on games I already should have done something other... But I realize, that I can't replace games with work completely or I will be prone to relapse. So beside from spending more time doing the work I get paid for and keeping better care of our household I will take on one of my longtime goals of learning to code (again). I started a few times, but always discontinued as soon as it got more complicated...

I will try to keep a journal here on the forum, to get my thoughts sorted and perhaps to help others (and of course get some encouragement)....

Thanks for anyone who read all of this babbling and for this community....


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Hi David, welcome to the community. You did the right choice uninstalling steam and all mobile games, so you dont get tempted. And its never too late to make a change in your life ;) Imagine you still got 40 years to live, thats quiet a time worth enjoying things isnt it. Also you have a wife who apparantly loves you and supports you and 2 kiddies. Maybe you can spend more time with them or your wife now. Isnt it possible you cancel your home office and work at the office again? I dont think its good for you being too much at home alone, if you think you can get tempted easily. And regarding your kids i think its good you have this background, cause you wont be one of those parents whos totally lost when their kids want to play video games and you also will see warning signs if there are any. So this is also something good you can take out of your history. Coding seems like a good thing to start with, we all need hobbies to replace gaming. I started to read my first book for ages for example. ;) And i also experienced what you wrote, that you could not concentrate on difficult games anymore. I didnt finish one single player game for ages, cause after a short while i was bored and went back to my heroine Online Multiplayer. It was simply too annoying to search ways through the game and it got me bored after about 20 minutes. Something i also really dislike even if its other games^^

Starting a journal is always a good idea. And remember, you are not alone :)



Edited by Mimetic
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