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Zala

relapse during 90 days - what happens to the counter??

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Hi all, just a theoretical quick question. What is the general tactic? If people have a relapse during their 90 days, do they start the count from the beginning, from 0 days? Not that there is a right or a wrong way but what seems to be the general, common response?
And what does count as a relapse? One drink=10 minutes of gaming?

I've been reading through this forum and this question just keeps popping up. I guess there are reasons and logic for either reaction. So ... I would appreciate an answer from the well-read veterans :)

Edited by Zala

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I guess it depends on the intention. There's people who for example play for an hour during the 90 days, because they don't have anything else to do at that moment or they experiment with moderation, then they feel bad or bored while they play (they notice playing doesn't bring them the same emotion as before the detox), and carry on as if nothing happened. I'd say that's fine since the overall process hasn't changed, they are detoxing. Some people count that as a relapse, some don't.

Sometimes counting something as a relapse can be a mind trap to keep you stuck in the first days and further justify more relapses since you haven't advanced that much. 

Other times just playing a bit and then another bit and then another bit and not counting it as a relapse can be a mind trap as well, to keep you from fully quitting cold turkey.

It all comes to the intention.

In my case for example my addiction came in the form of single playing. I don't remember doing multiplayer during my detox, but if it happened it wouldn't be an issue since it wasn't before the detox. I decided to quit it altogether anyway because even if I got naturally bored after an hour or so of multiplayer (a healthy, moderate amount of time), it was also a trigger for single playing afterwards. 

The best way to prevent the dilemma is simply not play for 90 days, and then concern yourself with moderation being an option. Just don't play during the detox! ;)

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Generally, the 90 Days Detox consists on not playing videogames during 90 days at all

If you still have access to videogames but you play less, it means you are not on detox, it means you are limiting the time playing videogames.

The point of the Detox is to setup a system that will prevent you from playing videogames during 90 days. You can either set up the system properly or not, it's your decision.

 

 

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I don't game, but I see what Hitaru wrote as a trap I could fall into.

"Sometimes counting something as a relapse can be a mind trap to keep you stuck in the first days and further justify more relapses since you haven't advanced that much. "

My goal is that after, I don't know a thousand days, I can go back and play a game for half an hour and have no regrets. Without feeling guilty for playing, it's my long long long term challenge :). But on the other hand I might have a different goal after a year or so.

Also I read once in a diary that someone played Wii with their 4 years old cousin, like for a half an hour. He didn't have a Wii at home and nothing really came out of it. It was just easier than explaining to a kid why you don't play this kind of games. They also played with legos and with a ball, they read books etc. Now does this count as a relapse even though he kept not playing after he got home? I imagine it lit up some of the old brain connections but still. I personally wouldn't count this as a relapse.

I also read that people go to the supermarket and try driving, VR games, others live with family members who game and maybe use family tv in the same room so does looking count? You can control your own environment, but you can't control the world. I think there are a lot of grey areas. I would hate for someone to play half an hour and then people going: Your 90 days doesn't count because you played for 0,5 hour. I don't know.

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I think you should reset; 90 days is a very short amount of time.

I relapsed during my first 90 days, reset the counter and then got to 250-ish days and then briefly relapsed again, and from there I've stopped counting because at this point it doesn't matter.

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