mtninja's Journal

[mtninja]

day 0

I'm probably not going to update this daily but these journals do seem like a good idea!

After joining the gamequitters movement about a week ago I had committed to doing the 90 day detox but have had several failed starts. The latest one went on for 2-3 days, and it was after I had relapsed during a tough week at work and bought a new game, deciding that I was only going to play on friday's and weekends. At first, the game was new and exciting and I couldn't stop thinking about playing it, but after a few sessions I just got extremely bored of it, as the gameplay was getting repetitive (fetch quests and bland storytelling). This was when I started getting mad at myself -  why am I playing this game that I don't even like? Sure it has impressive graphics. But the game isn't even that good!

This morning I put the game up for sale on my eBay account, and packed my PS4 up for probably the 5th time in 2 weeks and shoved it back in my closet.

One thing i've noticed after this experience is that 90% of the games I used to play fall into this category of not being that good or fun after a while, and yet I commit to playing them all the way through just to say that I 'beat it'. This is ridiculous. I can understand if it's a once-in-a-generation game like a Zelda or a Witcher, but this was an above average slog at best 

 

[Mettermrck]

I'm the same way...I can be OCD about finishing a game even if it's not that great. I'm the same way about finishing reading mediocre books too actually. I think you're off to a great start, ninja. Post as much as you can!

[Cam Adair]

If you've been struggling so far, doing the journal daily is highly recommended. 

[mtninja]

Day 3

 

I've almost made it through 72 hours without gaming. But I was damn tempted to game tonight, and still am to be honest. Was out with some coworkers after work, having some drinks and playing pool, and I got home a bit tipsy and just had this intense desire to blow shit up. Partly because I didn't think I could focus on anything in this state other than games.

I had the console all set up and had fired it up, but I just sat with the controller in my hand and didn't start the game (doesnt count I hope? :X), and I just had this deep feeling of anxiety and sadness go through me. I quickly put the controller down and pressed the power button.

 

A couple reasons why I convinced myself to not go through with it and turned it off, was that number 1: I knew if I didn't play tonight then I'd officially hit the 72 hour mark. And 2: I was thinking about this coworker of mine that was out tonight, a chick i've had a huge crush on, but who is taken, and just thought about how much of a loser she would probably think of me if she knew I played video games. It's probably not the healthiest reason not to play, but it got me through another night, so whatever works!

 

But i've got to admit, i'm not sure how long I can hold this demon down. It almost had me. 90 days is gonna be tooooooouuuughhh.......

 

[Mettermrck]

The first few days are the roughest. Keep pushing through it and the withdrawal symptoms will ease up for you.

[BigPete247]

Day 3

 

I've almost made it through 72 hours without gaming. But I was damn tempted to game tonight, and still am to be honest. Was out with some coworkers after work, having some drinks and playing pool, and I got home a bit tipsy and just had this intense desire to blow shit up. Partly because I didn't think I could focus on anything in this state other than games.

I had the console all set up and had fired it up, but I just sat with the controller in my hand and didn't start the game (doesnt count I hope? :X), and I just had this deep feeling of anxiety and sadness go through me. I quickly put the controller down and pressed the power button.

 

A couple reasons why I convinced myself to not go through with it and turned it off, was that number 1: I knew if I didn't play tonight then I'd officially hit the 72 hour mark. And 2: I was thinking about this coworker of mine that was out tonight, a chick i've had a huge crush on, but who is taken, and just thought about how much of a loser she would probably think of me if she knew I played video games. It's probably not the healthiest reason not to play, but it got me through another night, so whatever works!

 

But i've got to admit, i'm not sure how long I can hold this demon down. It almost had me. 90 days is gonna be tooooooouuuughhh.......

 

Yep ninja, going on 48 hours for me today, i had that feeling of turning my system on when i did my first detox years before i got on these forums. I ended up playing again, The Xbox won. This time, i admitted my faults and nothings going to convince me to go back, gotta quit cold turkey.

[Vlad]

Day 3

I had the console all set up and had fired it up, but I just sat with the controller in my hand and didn't start the game (doesnt count I hope? :X), and I just had this deep feeling of anxiety and sadness go through me. I quickly put the controller down and pressed the power button.

Respect for your will power! But why do you make it so hard for yourself? If you are not willing to sell your console and other gaming stuff yet, why don't you just store it some place else? You can store it at a friend's/relative's house or maybe rent it out to someone. You are increasing the difficulty level of your detox on purpose)

[mtninja]

I'm considering selling it Vlad. God knows I could use the money right now too. But man... haha, that's gonna be hard. It would feel like a part of me died if I sold that thing. Which probably indicates it needs to happen.

Gonna really think hard about it tonight. Once it's gone and outta here it won't matter how bad I want to game.

[Vlad]

I understand the emotional attachment, it was very hard for me as well. The mental trick I found super useful was considering the following: consoles and videogames only become more affordable with time, so selling yours does not creatre a shortage. You'll always have an option of acquiring it if you have to. It's just that putting yourself in a situation where you have to go through a long process to relapse makes it less likely, but the opportunity to do so will always be there. That way of thinking helps avoid a sense of an irreversible loss, thus easing the pain greatly.