I feel nothing is real anymore

[Sarma]

I have been feeling depressed for about 2 years now. I've learned to deal with it to some extent but its still there. Sometimes i will have okay days, some days i feel so much depressed that i can barely speak to someone,eat very poorly and just feel like dying. But i almost never have good or great days. I think i had a good day once or twice in the past 2 years. I don't know is it because of my age. I'm 16 and i'm at that point between adult and teenager. Is that why i feel like this? I've heard from other people that feeling sadness in early adult hood is normal. Nobody seems to experience it like i do tho. I feel like I'm in a bottomless pit and i keep falling down deeper and deeper into it everyday and that there's no way out. I feel like in a few years i won't be able to handle it anymore and that i'm gonna kill myself. I've been to a therapist several times and i still go. I don't feel any difference tho. I feel like my family doesn't care about me anymore. I feel like they just want me out of the house so they can forget about me. It feels so unreal. I often think about how much better it was when i was younger.... Is this how every adult feels?

[Schwing]

Ok man, I'm 17 here's what I think:

Forget the shrinks. I felt depressed too from time to time. Nothing major really. Came and went. I was just at the whim of my emotions like a sycamore seed in the wind. So you have to plant yourself somewhere my man. And that why you're here. To plant yourself and grow am I correct? Don't let some dumbfuck who's paid to assess your psychology assess you. Don't intertwine the societal system with your internal emotional struggles. Assess yourself.

I understand you've done a fair bit of assessing already. You're here. You know you want to quit videogames and such and such. But it's time to do a bit more! I know it's a drag but it's necessary. I can help you. But you have to do it yourself. A psychiatrist hasn't fucked himself up and been through this kind of shit. He just read about it in a fucking book when he was a student. Find a root cause for your gaming addiction. Psychological trauma from a bad childhood? That was mine.

Questions. What ails you? What do you want? Like really really want. I saw you wanted these things:

1. Get a girlfriend
2. Improve my social skills
3. Go out more
4. I would like to be perceived as a good guy, a friend you can rely on. Someone who's outgoing.

Hah! My goals were like this too when I first started out. It's a good start! A great start! But they need to be flobbled around a bit (is that a word?) to set you straight:

A goal is something you need to be able to fulfill on a regular basis. Work towards. You've got the outline! Now it's time to make them into actual tangible tasks to be done! Approaching women might be hard for you at this stage. Still hard for me! I'm a single loner too! Confidence is key in socialising. And what is the definition of confidence? The absence of giving a fuck my friend!

I could tell you to stop caring but that would be hard. To have change you must embody change. The mind, body and soul are all linked in unison as separate modules of one unit. Physical exercise is great. When you break yourself down and throw your mind out the window. All that exists is the pain and the euphoria! 'tis gloooorious! Here's a small workout I was recommended. I never really used it but it's a good start:

Stretch (just do something. make sure it feels GooOOOooooOd!)

20 pushups

20 situps

20 crunchies

20 squats

Go for a 1.5 mile run

Stretch and take a shower

You will feel so much better just doing it. With the running outside. People will be looking at you. So you can gain confidence in exercising in public. Know this: people don't care. They probably just see you as another person. Everything we perceive exists in the mind but we feel it with the soul. So let your emotions rule your social life and tell the mind to go suck a bag of fat hairy dick! Blegh! Therefore if people are mean to you- know this: "what the fuck are they gonna do about it? burn my house down? rape my dog? ok that one was weird but they wouldn't even go as far as to touch me in any way at all. I don't give a fuck!". If someone tries to humiliate you; be humble! Smile and laugh! For then no one laughs at you but with you.

Next. Develop your character. Do something. You say you want to study? Fuck studying! Studying is not art. Studying is work for the machine man! You've gotta do it for sure but it can't be the only thing you have in life. What did you like about video games? Making characters? Making stuff? Fighting? Making builds? Video games always appealed to us because we were making art in them. But in life we sucked! We were pouring our artistic vigour into a leaky bucket! Think about it. Google it. Plan it. I never used this but try this:

http://gamequitters.com/hobby-ideas/

Women love character and confidence! Strength, character, self discipline, self reliance. All masculine virtues!

Don't focus on wanting to be perceived a certain way by others. Learn to just love life and what it has to offer. It take time but it's fucking worth it!

Good luck.

[Sarma]

Ok man, I'm 17 here's what I think:

Forget the shrinks. I felt depressed too from time to time. Nothing major really. Came and went. I was just at the whim of my emotions like a sycamore seed in the wind. So you have to plant yourself somewhere my man. And that why you're here. To plant yourself and grow am I correct? Don't let some dumbfuck who's paid to assess your psychology assess you. Don't intertwine the societal system with your internal emotional struggles. Assess yourself.

I understand you've done a fair bit of assessing already. You're here. You know you want to quit videogames and such and such. But it's time to do a bit more! I know it's a drag but it's necessary. I can help you. But you have to do it yourself. A psychiatrist hasn't fucked himself up and been through this kind of shit. He just read about it in a fucking book when he was a student. Find a root cause for your gaming addiction. Psychological trauma from a bad childhood? That was mine.

Questions. What ails you? What do you want? Like really really want. I saw you wanted these things:

1. Get a girlfriend
2. Improve my social skills
3. Go out more
4. I would like to be perceived as a good guy, a friend you can rely on. Someone who's outgoing.

Hah! My goals were like this too when I first started out. It's a good start! A great start! But they need to be flobbled around a bit (is that a word?) to set you straight:

A goal is something you need to be able to fulfill on a regular basis. Work towards. You've got the outline! Now it's time to make them into actual tangible tasks to be done! Approaching women might be hard for you at this stage. Still hard for me! I'm a single loner too! Confidence is key in socialising. And what is the definition of confidence? The absence of giving a fuck my friend!

I could tell you to stop caring but that would be hard. To have change you must embody change. The mind, body and soul are all linked in unison as separate modules of one unit. Physical exercise is great. When you break yourself down and throw your mind out the window. All that exists is the pain and the euphoria! 'tis gloooorious! Here's a small workout I was recommended. I never really used it but it's a good start:

Stretch (just do something. make sure it feels GooOOOooooOd!)

20 pushups

20 situps

20 crunchies

20 squats

Go for a 1.5 mile run

Stretch and take a shower

You will feel so much better just doing it. With the running outside. People will be looking at you. So you can gain confidence in exercising in public. Know this: people don't care. They probably just see you as another person. Everything we perceive exists in the mind but we feel it with the soul. So let your emotions rule your social life and tell the mind to go suck a bag of fat hairy dick! Blegh! Therefore if people are mean to you- know this: "what the fuck are they gonna do about it? burn my house down? rape my dog? ok that one was weird but they wouldn't even go as far as to touch me in any way at all. I don't give a fuck!". If someone tries to humiliate you; be humble! Smile and laugh! For then no one laughs at you but with you.

Next. Develop your character. Do something. You say you want to study? Fuck studying! Studying is not art. Studying is work for the machine man! You've gotta do it for sure but it can't be the only thing you have in life. What did you like about video games? Making characters? Making stuff? Fighting? Making builds? Video games always appealed to us because we were making art in them. But in life we sucked! We were pouring our artistic vigour into a leaky bucket! Think about it. Google it. Plan it. I never used this but try this:

http://gamequitters.com/hobby-ideas/

Women love character and confidence! Strength, character, self discipline, self reliance. All masculine virtues!

Don't focus on wanting to be perceived a certain way by others. Learn to just love life and what it has to offer. It take time but it's fucking worth it!

Good luck.

Wow thanks for the reply. You made me laugh a bit haha. Good word flobbled. I get it, it's hard to deal with but i gotta get through it. I gotta work on improving my self or i will never go further. The reason i'm addicted to games is simply because i liked them so much. Recently not so much and it has been affecting my life and i feel it isn't healthy anymore to play. I feel like my biggest problem is dealing with school. I used to be a good student and seemed like it was so easy to me. Ever since i started high school i have just been getting worse. I'm so stressed about it but i cant not give a fuck, you understand? I feel like i won't be able to do anything productive until i get good at school again. I see you replied to my post for accountability. Lets do it .

Edited April 30, 2017 by Sarma

[Schwing]

Let's talk about it later! I messaged you! Skype me.

[Piotr]

The thing you're going through WILL pass, but unfortunately you have to go through it. If I had the knowledge I have now, when I was at your age I would say that you can easily mitigate this feeling, by being more outgoing and social.

And the most important thing, DON'T give up. Be strong!

[none239]

Keep going to see your therapist. It took me about 3 or 4 sessions before I felt really comfortable talking about my most depression causing issues. There is no set number, if you see your therapist 10 times and get great results on the 11th the fact that you took longer than I did is irrelevant.

There are two bits of advice that changed my view on depression my depression:

 

1. It's OK to admit that you're not ready to say "Everything is going to be OK ".

One thing people bashed me over the head with when I was 16 was the classic, "You just need to look at life differently."  or the ever helpful "Why do you want people to care about your little pity party? So and So has problems twice as bad as yours. " <- Gee thanks now I'm depressed and I feel guilty!

So I felt like I had to convince myself that I was fine today that working on my issues over time was just a display of weakness since other people had worse starts in life than I did.

This is a recipe for disaster since no one can undo years of depression in a single day.

I found that if I could say things like, "OK I'm depressed and I don't know how to "fix it" but I'm on a forum where people like me can share their experiences and that should help".

2. This battle with depression is a temporary thing. Not a lifelong war.

When I was 16 I thought that the depression I felt then was going to be a immutable life long curse that I would have to struggle with every moment of every day. This sapped my willingness to do pretty much every thing except play video games.

After admitting that I was not ready to say "Everything is going to be OK ", I found that it was easier to accept that my depression was an issue that I could confront and ultimately control since I was able to say that depression was a something I would overcome eventually.