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90 days of something better


Reno F
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Hi everyone, it's been a while!

About two weeks ago, my mother came from Brazil to visit me in Japan for about one week. Needless to say, I stopped everything I was doing to give her full attention and enjoy her presence, as we don't get to see each other often.

We had a really great time!

However, that came with a small cost. My routine and plans were put aside and now, 2 weeks later I've been having trouble to build them up again. I need to start moving forward urgently.

Because of that, I'm starting the 90 days NoFap challenge. This will be a tough one, and to be honest, I'm not sure I can do it. Nevertheless, I expect to go through some sort of change during this process. Rules are: no masturbation for 90 days (easy mode: I'm married).

I'll be posting a few times a week during the next 90 days and I hope to get in touch with some more awesome people through the journals and the rest of the forum!

This is it! I'm already on day 3.

See you around!

PS: I don't have problems with masturbation. I'm only using the challenge as an excuse to put more focus and build momentum in my life. You know, to make things more interesting.

PS2: I've been 9-months game free. Played a bit this February. Since then, I stopped counting.

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Always appreciate your posts! 

Thanks for the kind words, brother!

Day 5

I'm thinking of posting everyday, just for the sake of not having to count the days. Oh, look at me, that's how lazy I'm at the moment.

I'm glad to have started writing again. Hadn't I opened this thread, I'd probably have choked the chicken yesterday. (Meanwhile, fap is such a boring slang for flogging the log)

On building a routine: My work schedule is messed up, so it is hard do build a routine on that. I should have noticed it before. I think I had. I have my list of recurring tasks written down, but that isn't enough. I've tried to put some of it in my calendar, didn't work as planned. Gotta push through indisposition and toughen up. Hey, that's the reason I started this challenge, in the first place.

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Day 6


This is a quick post. I'm having a guest here for the weekend. Challenge wise, it should be a light one.

Did my most important task for today. It's been a while since I've been postponing it. Didn't hurt doing it at all.

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Day 8

I had a really great weekend sightseeing in Kyoto with my wife and our guest. There is still time to do some exercise before going to bed. Tomorrow I get back to writing.

Pretty excited for this week. The challenge will definitely pressure me up.

 

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Well, of course you can do it! This should be a status quo for every man on Earth, to avoid masturbation at all cost.

But trust me, when you'll get rid of this devastating habit, you'll feel free, much more free than by just quitting video games.

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

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@hycniejsy Thank you for your kind words, mate!

Day 11

Now that I've stopped seeing porn, I'm starting to get turned on by pictures on Facebook. Feels like I'm back to my teens, when internet was slow and expensive.

I got a cold on sunday, I think it came from that karaoke room. I'm still feeling weak. Because of that, I killed time watching YouTube and sleeping until today. Sorry!

My 1st draft for my second story is done. It is time to review it. 1st story still needs to be published. I just need to set my mind to do it at once.

Two things that worked to me before that I should start doing again: Planning the next day and work with a timer.

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(counting the days to increase my counter... what a hassle)

Day 18

I never thought I'd do this far in this type of challenge. So far so good. Surprisingly, I feel a lot lighter. Not sure if this has any relation to it. 'Easy mode' is sure easier, but it gets tought when you expect sex and don't have it. Also chaser effect.

I had some guests last week too. Kyoto has became the new Paris in terms of tourism. Anyway, we love having friends staying over. But yea, I exercise less and didn't work on my manuscripts. I guess highly effective people don't depend on external factors to get things done. I'll get there.

I'm stuck reading The Lord of the Rings trilogy. What a long book... Curse those who said it is a must read for fantasy fans.

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Feel you on the guests thing. Been having a lot of guests myself and having my space back has been really nice. Time to visit Kyoto! 

gimme a shout when you come!

Day 2

as they say, "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak" :)

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Day 3, feeling like touching myself. Gonna write a bit to cool down.

As I have shared before, I play tabletop roleplaying games online with some friends. I've started a play by post campaign recently, but I still meet old friends to have some fun online playing a session of it.

Last time we met, one of my friends from childhood said something that shocked me. He said playing "Dota 2" is better than having sex.

Now, I know just too well how a game addicted mind thinks. Just before he said it, I had said "Nothing can take a Dota player from Dota. A Dota player would always choose Dota over everything else." I know it. For addicts, Dota >>> Sex.

But listening it from my friend hurt. I think he's got his stuff together. Happily married, works with what he likes, financially comfortable... Nothing wrong with playing for sometime if it isn't fucking up with your life. But I'm afraid this vice is playing a big part in his life already. I wonder how deep in the well of misery you gotta be to realize you've got a problem. For me, it was very deep.

Hope time tells me I was wrong.

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Day 1 - It seems I didn't write enough yesterday

I'm making the challenge 15 days only. Although I don't think I have problems with jacking off frequency, I felt better when I stayed 18 days without it. So I'll definitely want to withdraw from it if I can help it.

I came to the conclusion that I must work in my manuscripts out of my house. Being at home isn't working anymore. Gotta find some library with a power outlet so I can plug my computer. My excuse was that it was cold. Now it is almost summer.

 

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Hello Reno!

15 days are good. At least better then no NoFap.

However I'm curious about what you said - you're married. So, isn't your wife against you jacking off instead of having sex with her? :)

I mean, come on, you have a wife, so why do you even want to masturbate?

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

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@hycniejsy Hi, Hycniejsy! I'll just tell you some random facts hoping they help you understand better.

  • Having sex doesn't lower one's libido
  • Very few people choose masturbation over sex. They only masturbate when they can't have sex.
  • Being in a relationship doesn't mean sex at one's will. Sex needs consent of everyone involved.
  • Being married doesn't give you rights over your spouse. At least not in where I'm from.
  • While men are like a on/off switch, women are more like a volume knob. Sometimes it takes time and effort to get them in to max volume.

Hope it helps!

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@hycniejsy Hi, Hycniejsy! I'll just tell you some random facts hoping they help you understand better.

  • Having sex doesn't lower one's libido
  • Very few people choose masturbation over sex. They only masturbate when they can't have sex.
  • Being in a relationship doesn't mean sex at one's will. Sex needs consent of everyone involved.
  • Being married doesn't give you rights over your spouse. At least not in where I'm from.
  • While men are like a on/off switch, women are more like a volume knob. Sometimes it takes time and effort to get them in to max volume.

Hope it helps!

All right, you helped me understand it better. I agree with them.

Hope your 15 days of NoFap will help you and give you benefits. I'm sure you'll feel much better after that, just like these videos show:

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

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@hycniejsy Thanks for the videos. They put words in what I felt about the nofap on my not-so-high best of 18 days. The 15 days is meant to be a more reachable milestone. After I get it, I'll continue for more 15 days. I mean, 15 days are easier than 90, right?

Day 4

Going to the library after lunch. 15 min ride by bicycle. I expect to work there for about 2 hours, focused time. Pomodoro approach will be used again.

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Sure, sometimes setting a milestone of 24 hours really helps.

If you already have 4x24 hours, then you can get next 24 hours, and then next 24 hours and so on.

One day a the time :)

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

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Day 7, one week! Alright!

It's 8 o'clock in the morning and I just came back from my night shift. I wish I'd have enjoyed more the days when I was single. It is funny now how I was afraid of being rejected by women. I mean, what were the risks? Anyway, let's not cry over the spilled milk.

I went to the library that day. They don't allow you to sit down and work if you're not using the library's material. Sounds stupid but I can see where this rule came from. So instead, I work in the dinning table. Now I feel more inclined to work here.

I'm using sticky notes to keep important things where I can see them. Better than any app around.

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@thb23 hey, thanks for the visit!

Day 11

Two pomodoros working on my manuscript. 2 > 0, so it should be fine. Hope I can do around 4 tomorrow. Slowly crossing things out of my to do list. Gotta remember to fill the list up so I can keep the pace.

Watched some speed run videos on YouTube. Funny as I didn't feel like playing at all. I watched it as you'd watch a movie.

I have finally finished the LOTR books. Gosh, I don't recommend it to anyone. Gotta start reading a new self development book soon. It's been a while since I read my last one. When you don't have a mastermind to be with, books can fill in that void relatively well.

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This NoFap thing seems useless to me. Jerking off dosn't bring any damage so i think that do it sometimes is normal. Personally i don't do it each day but if i stop for more than 2 weeks i'll have a wet dream. Obviously sex is a different thing but if i don't have opportunities to do it don't see anything wrong in jerking off. As ever sorry if my english is bad

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@Signor Nessuno I see your point. I also didn't have problems with chronic masturbation. Yet, I feel better and stronger when I refrain from it. Something I can't explain and don't even want to understand.

I do remember though, a few years ago, when I used to choose staying at home on a friday night, playing videogame and jacking off over going out and socializing. You gotta be careful, because sometimes the damage can't be seen until it's late. Your English is good enough, don't be sorry for it, you're not native speaker. Thanks for the visit!

Day 13

3 days straight being at home. My productivity increased if compared to the last time I had days off in a row. My manuscript is giving me a lot of trouble. I started it wrong, not I have to fix a lot of things. Business wise, this is a bad decision, as I'm taking too long to write something that I won't be selling for anything over 4 dollars. But it is fun and a good practice for a newbie as me.

Working in the dinning room is giving me better results.

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  • 2 weeks later...

15 days challenge completed!

Since then, I touched myself a few times here and there.

I've been very productive the last 3 days, even though I had a lot of 'free time' to kill. I think I've built enough momentum to keep on going forward (or backward, keep moving is what is important).

I've decided to stop doing these challenges. Reason: it bring focus from what I want to do to what I don't want to do.

I already have enough goals to keep me busy this year. If I keep on pursuing them, then nofap, nogame, noyoutube, no-whatever-I-don't-want-to-do should happen naturally.

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