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NEW VIDEO: 3 Lies That Keep Us Addicted to Games

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"Faith", I used that same word when I first arrived here a year and a half ago. Not necessarily in a deity, but at least an abstract concept of hope in the future and your ability to cope with it the right way. Treasure that feeling, it's very human and usually the first, last and most trusty light in the darkness. 

That deep connection you share with your gaming friends, as you say, mostly comes from being both like-minded and in a similar situation. That's how friends are made IRL as well: similar context (proximity) and similar values (feelings, issues going on, etc.) all glued by empathy. You kept a level of playing the casual gamer wouldn't usually follow, so your best choice for making long-term connections was other hardcore gamers, people on your same level. You could relate with them.

Now, you arrived to another context, a forum, full of people with similar values (trying to quit as well) so you have a new chance of making new, and if you don't mind me saying, healthier connections and friends. (Healthier) in habits and spirit. People whom you will relate with and will serve as source of inspiration, hopefully.

I'm not saying you should just say "Fuck off" to your online friends or that people here is morally superior. But you're not inherently responsible for anyone, the same as no one is responsible for living your life (cliché and "parental" as that sounds, I'm aware ;)). In my experience, the best thing you can do for your friends is lead by example of your actions. Words can come across as accusations and patronizing, and gamers (with an addiction or dependence to gaming) are usually in a position of vulnerability and defensiveness. Think of a mother telling his children to stop playing and do something else with their time, sounds familiar?

The first days are going to be a hell of a ride, expect the worst from your brain, tricks and blackmail. Keep strong, mindful of your emotional state, take it easy and if you can, have fun. It's your life, you're allowed to have fun. Especially when you're in the right path, the path of choosing for yourself. 

Be welcome!

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Day 2 - getting out

I decided to get out and enjoy the beautiful weather today. I even used my silver sneakers fitness card to get free admission at the recreational center by me. I ran on the treadmill for about an hour and decided to leave and go exploring after. Went up to giant eagle for a sub and ate it in the park. My dad and I talked today and made plans to meet up and play some music together. I helped him add some songs to his IPhone and we decided to jam after that and learn a song. I even received a spare IPhone from my father that he gave to me and now I almost feel tempted to get back into Pokémon go. Its just another gateway to more gaming for me so I am working on making schedules on my calendar and finding social events at the library and recreational center. I was able to find many that interest me. Weather is starting to get nice as well and I might even start skateboarding again.

Nice to see that you're starting to incorporate other activities in your life. Hang in there...Throughout the whole process you are going to experience some high and low points but the important thing is to keep fighting. 

You can do this!!!

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  • 4 weeks later...

Welcome! It looks like we started around the same time. The days when I have too much free time are the hardest for me. It's no shame to struggle. We all do. You're in good company here. Even if you relapsed, no one is here to tear you down about it. You mentioned an Al-Anon meeting that didn't seem to help you. Might I suggest, even as an experiment, try visiting some different churches? Even if you don't find a good fit, it is sure to be an education. Maybe something or someone at a meeting will strike a chord with you. Don't give up. If you did give up, try again. :) 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Congratulations on completing 40 days without surrendering to the temptation. The 90 days is a tough quest and you learn a lot through it. Patience was key for me, I hope you can be patient to yourself. Change is slow.

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I think finding something that can make you busy is the best way not to relapse.

It would be better if it's 'a bit' stressful. Setting deadlines is a good way to forget video games.

I hope you have a better day tomorrow :)

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Hi there. I really like the owl for your profile picture. Owls are my favorite. For real.  

I'm truly sorry for your trouble.

Guilt for doing something that is wrong is actually NORMAL AND OKAY. If you suppress the negative emotions that come from making bad choices, you are actually stifling the innate motivation to STOP that's hard wired into you as a human being.

Make sense?

I don't think that religion based on absolutes of right and wrong, heaven and hell, is your problem right now. You DO seem to know where some the problems are at in your life.

Religious meetings generally dish up the predigested beliefs and understanding of those leading the class or worship. That CAN be extremely unhelpful to sincere seekers.

Try READING THE SOURCES for yourself. This can be VERY liberating. I'll use your topic of heaven and hell for an example rather than presuming a better starting place. This one has already been on your mind somewhat. Try to read the Bible for yourself WITHOUT the input of any other outside influences. I mean, what have you got to lose, right? Research the very topics you have been exposed to, but do the legwork yourself. Don't Google it. Go to the source. Not a blog. Get a hardcopy. I'm only SUGGESTING this because your experience with meetings seems to be a problem of confining you and stopping you from getting the answers you really want and NEED. 

I hope something I said was helpful. Maybe the piece to YOUR puzzle in just another step away. I'll say a pray for you now. Hang in there! I hope today was a better day for you. :)

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  • 4 months later...

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