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KevinV1990

KevinV1990's Journal

54 posts in this topic

March 15, 2017

  • Today it is my sixth day of not playing videogames, and I have to say that it is easier than I thought. It al started with just challenging myself not to play videogames for one day, and look where I am now. Maybe weird to say, but I am kinda proud of myself. Had a busy day at work yesterday and when I got home, I was tempted to start playing again. Instead of starting up my Playstation 4, I decided to grab a book and started to read. After a short time the temptation was gone. I also decided to write about my addiction on my own website, and didn't only want to do that for myself, but also to help others with their videogame addiction.
  • It is my mom's birthday, and while I already bought here a present, I still needed to buy her a nice birthday card, so I went to the mall. To my big surprise a new food stall with Turkish food had been opened, and since I didn't have breakfast yet, I decided to grab a bite. On my way back, I went to the bookstore, and got myself a new book, as if I didn't have enough books already.
  • I am also still wondering if I should sell my whole Playstation collection. It is not even that I don't want to sell it, I just want to sell it for a good price. To do that it would probably be best if I would sell it to another person, since they will pay more for my stuff than gameshops will do. But selling it to people does also take more time, which will make the chance of relapsing bigger every day.
  • EDIT: So I decided to rearrange my shelves, so I won't see my game collection anymore, as soon as I wake up. Now I look at a bookshelf full of books (see the attached picture).
  • EDIT2: I decided that I won't give up gaming completely. I'd rather game with moderation, and I know that I'm able to do that. I am going to limit the amount of games that I'm allowed to buy though, and maybe also going to limit myself to only play in the weekends.

IMG_20170315_162116.jpg

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Nice job man! Good idea doing that to your shelf.

I too found that I had to substitute gaming with other hobbies to cater to my emotional/mental needs. I also found out that gaming catered to a LOT of needs I had. Some days I didn't feel like just reading. What hobbies do you have other than reading?

Edited by Schwing

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Nice job man! Good idea doing that to your shelf.

I too found that I had to substitute gaming with other hobbies to cater to my emotional/mental needs. I also found out that gaming catered to a LOT of needs I had. Some days I didn't feel like just reading. What hobbies do you have other than reading?

Thanks! Rearranging the shelf also was a good way to keep me busy.

Besides reading, I also really like to write, to do fitness, and watch movies.

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March 16, 2017

  • Today is my one week anniversary of not gaming. I've decided not to stop completely with gaming, but I want to limit myself by only playing during the weekends. If my gaming habit will get worse again, I will stop again for atleast a week. Call it a kind of detox. I only don't think that it will get worse again, because I am started to like my other hobbies way more now. We'll see how it will turn out :).
  • Another decision which I made to not relapse, is that I am not alowed to buy videogames for the next few months. This will be a hard thing to do for me, but I have to get through that buying habit, to take the next step in getting rid of my old gaming addiction.
  • Cam also really inspired me to try helping other people to get rid of their addiction. So I will start to write about my story on my Dutch site, and will offer my help to those who need it.
  • Nothing more to write right now. The weather is great today, so I am outside enjoying the weather.

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March 17, 2017

I am kinda annoyed right now. I know exactly what I have to do today and what needs to be done, but I just can't get myself to work on these things. That is the story of past few months to be honest. One day I am full of motivation and good ideas, and really want to get them done, but then the other day all the motivation seems to be gone. Well... atleast I don't have the urge to play videogames yet, so that is a good thing I guess. I just really want to find the motivation to work on my site and my creative writing course, since they both really would help me to keep moving forward. When I have these kind of days, I really am tempted to turn on my Playstation 4 again, still not doing what has to be done, but atleast I will have fun.

I decided that I am allowed to play videogames in the weekends, but I also made a commitment to myself that I first need to get my other things done, before being allowed to turn on the PS4 again. I'm probably going to workout in a few minutes, maybe I will have some more motivation after doing that.

 

Gratz on one week!

Thanks!

Edited by KevinV1990

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March 18, 2017

I really need to learn how to say no to people. Had big plans for today, wanted to write and wanted to work on a new project. I had to help my sister with moving out, but I was just hired to unload the truck and bring the heavy stuff to her appartment. Before I knew it, I had been there for a long time, doing stuff which I didn't have to do. I don't mind to help, but now I couldn't work on the things that I wanted to. Well, atleast I didn't play videogames today.

Edited by KevinV1990

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March 19, 2017

  • Time for another anniversary! Let's have a party everyday. This is my 10th day of not playing videogames. While I had the plan to just play for a bit this weekend, I didn't have the urge to do so. I am way too busy with making other plans, doing other things and starting new projects. It is a good thing that I am seeing that I don't really need games, to have a good time.
  • Yesterday I watched the movie Gantz: O, a movie which has very much elements of role playing games in it. The temptation of playing a game after that movie, should have been big, but I withstood the temptation without any problems. Easy thing to do when you are tired and the only thing you want to do, is going to sleep :P.
  • I decided to start a Dutch daily journal on this site too, and not because I don't want to write in English. I will keep on doing that, but if me writing in Dutch can help some more people, even if it is only one person, I think it is a good thing to do.
  • I just thought about that I am only allowed to play games in the weekends, so if I am not playing today, I have to wait another five days. 15 days without playing a videogame sounds hard, but hey, I did not have encountered any problems the past ten days, so maybe the next five days will be just as easy.

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March 20, 2017

  • 11th day of my gaming detox, and it gets kind of boring, but also confronting to see how easy I cope with it. Maybe I hoped that it would be more of a challenge, because it would have made sense to why I screwed up so much off my life so far. As it isn't very hard for me not to game, I really wonder why the f*** I didn't do this before. Ever since the 10th of March, I have done so many things, and I have made plans for now and for the future. I just hope that it is not too late.
  • Today I finished my homework for the Creative Writing course that I am following, which I wanted/needed to do yesterday. So I will have to come up with some consequences for me not finishing my homework, when I should have done it. If you have an idea, then please let me know :P.
  • In between the things that I need to do, I am watching a lot of motivational videos recently, as they really help me to get motivated for the important things.
  • Note to myself: I need to buy a schedule book, since I don't seem to pay attention to the app which I've installed on my phone.
  • Watched Skyfall yesterday for the first time. I know... why didn't I watched it before? The answer to that is quite easy to be honest: I hate the theme song, since I don't like Adele. But I have a question: Is there a real Bond girl in this movie? Naomie Harris and Bérénice Marlohe didn't really play a big part in the story, at least not as big as Eva Green and Olga Kurylenko did. But at the end of the movie I came up with another question: Was Judi Dench the real Bond girl/woman in this movie? Let me know what you think about it.

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Consequence? I tried attaching a rubber band to my wrist and smacking myself with it. Didn't help at all. The thing is you just have to maintain the balance in your life between two things. Work hard; play hard. If you didn't do something when you should have done it: who cares? Next time you are confronted with a similar situation remember what happened this time round and say "No I will do it!"

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March 22, 2017 (13 days without gaming)

  • Tomorrow I achieve another goal: Two weeks without playing a videogame. Time for another party! I wasn't planning on not playing videogames at all to be honest, wanted to play during the weekends, but I just don't feel like playing. There are other things which I want to do, and which need to be done. So why should I turn on my Playstation 4?
  • I got kind of irritated this morning. A little backstory: When I lost my job when the economic crisis just started (2009), I couldn't pay my health insurance anymore, so I build up a debt. Paid it off today, but because the government agency isn't doing their job right, it isn't over yet. I really want to send them an angry letter again, but I know that it wouldn't help, so I am not going to do that. I just hoped that I could leave that part of my history behind me after today. But no, it will take some more calls to do so.
  • Because I am quite irritated, I decided to make a list about the things, which make this day a good day.
    1. Received my paycheck today, which was higher than I expected.
    2. The weather outside is great.
    3. I went running today, and I just feel my overall condition getting better again.
  • Thinking about what needs to be the biggest priority in my life. I still want to write a book, which is one of the biggest dreams that I have. But I also want to write for my website, I want to create another website, I need to find a better job, and I want to finish my creative writing course. So many things I want and that I need to do, but which one is the biggest priority?

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March 26, 2017: 17 days without gaming

  • Finally! Spring has started, and the weather seems to get better every day.
  • I still don't feel any urges to start gaming again, even though I allowed myself to play games during the weekends. I rather write, or read books.
  • I do need to make some progress in finding a new job though. Even though I get to work more hours in the coming month, I really want to find something else. In the past, I really wanted to work in a gamestore or work at something game-related. It's weird how quickly I forgot about that. Now I would really like to work in a bookstore, at least until I write my own book, and become a bestselling author. ;)
  • There is only one problem, and that is that I'm sometimes lacking the energy to do stuff. Let's take yesterday: I started at working 5.30, and finished around 12.00. Enough time to do other stuff, but while I'm physically okay to do so, I am tired mentally. I really want to work on changing that, because I'm wasting time like this.
  • I am happy! :D

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Sometimes the good old solution of napping is all that's needed to charge yourself mentally again in the afternoon ;) (not after 15:00, 20 minutes tops)

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Sometimes the good old solution of napping is all that's needed to charge yourself mentally again in the afternoon ;) (not after 15:00, 20 minutes tops)

Thought about doing that, but I have a problem with it. I can't sleep/nap at daylight and I just want to do stuff during daytime, even though I sometimes don't even get to do that many things.

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March 28, 2017: 19 days without gaming

  • So it is the time of the year, where I get bored with my job again. For me that is a very dangerous thing, since I always have thoughts about quitting something instantly, when I get bored with it. I have had this feeling a couple of times already the past five years that I'm doing this job, but I don't quit a job anymore, until I have found something else. I think I just need a break again. I took a one-week vacation at the end of February, and am think about taking one week in May. That should be enough, until I have a three-week vacation at the end of July. Ultimately, I need to find another job. Or I could just write a bestseller book :D:P.
  • Because of this feeling, I'm not feeling very good today. In the past I would have already turned on a console, and I would have been playing until I had to go to bed. Now I don't have any urges to start gaming again, so that is a good thing. I just have the feeling, that I am not getting any further in life. I know that I will have to change that myself, but sometimes I just don't know where to start, and that is really demotivating. I'm sure that this feeling will change someday. But when? Didn't it take long enough already?
  • To get out of this depressing feelings, I have the need to write about the things which make me happy today.
    - The weather is great and the sun is shining.
    - Haven't had any urges to start gaming again.
    - Just ordered two Dutch books, which are must-reads, but which I've never read.
    - I've eaten a Milky Way Crispy Roll. Milky Way Crispy Rolls are yummy :D.
    - I have got some new ideas for new articles on my site.
  • The last line remembered me of something. I also got an idea for a new site, and I already came up with a domain name. Checked if it has been taken yet, and it hasn't, so there is a big chance that I will start a new website/community in the near future.
  • Happiness meter right now: 65%

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March 29, 2017 - 20 days without gaming

It could have been another boring entry, with me not having any urges again to play video games. It could have been another day like that, until I took a quick nap. After I woke up, I just really had the urge to turn on my Playstation 4, and start gaming again. I didn't. I'm not feeling very good the last few days, and that irritates me. Maybe it is because I start early at work, maybe it is because of me realizing how much of my time I threw away with non-stop gaming, maybe it has other reasons. I don't know. 

Why don't I just do something?! Sometimes I think that it would be better for me to leave everything behind, and start all over again somewhere else. But I realize that leaving everything behind, won't be the solution to my problems. I have to take action, I just don't know where to start.

I'm also quite annoyed that I couldn't have the week off in the first week of May. I mean, I do everything to help at my work, but once I ask something, it isn't possible. Well... f*** them.

Things I'm happy about today: :D

  1. Getting home from work
  2. Read another chapter off the book that I'm reading
  3. Two books that I ordered were delivered
  4. 20-day anniversary of not gaming
  5. Got an idea for a new article on my site
  6. The piano music that I'm listening right now
Edited by KevinV1990

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March 30, 2017 - 21 days without gaming

Woohoo! Three weeks without gaming. Time to celebrate... again :P. I'm feeling much better than yesterday, still somewhat irritated, but much better. I just read the mail Cam sent, and it came with something which I really needed, the Goals Worksheet. I really need/want to set goals for myself, since it could really help me moving forward.

My Goals:

  1. Write two books (one fiction, and one about my gaming addiction). One has to be finished by the end of the year.
  2. Find a new job by the beginning of October, and this time one of which I don't think that it is a waste of my time.
  3. Start a (English) site about reading in Dutch/Dutch books. I want to start this one as soon as possible, the deadline is at the end of next month.
  4. Increase the traffic on my current site, which is a goal for every month. I want it to be better every month.
  5. To get in shape.

The systems for achieving the goals:

  1. I have to write every day for one of the books. Since I am really a mood-driven writer, I chose two projects to work on, so I have the possibility to work on something else, when I'm not in the mood for the other.
  2. I really would like to work in a book store. I need to look if they have work available, and if they don't, I just send my resume anyway. I am going start with this on Monday. If I can't find a job in a book store, I will have to look at which other jobs I would like to do.
  3. I need to register a new domain name, build up the site, and then want to write an article every week.
  4. I need to write new articles on three days in the week (Monday, Wednesday and Friday).
  5. I workout on three days in the week (Monday, Wednesday and Friday).

I am committed to not let my irritations control me

Which of the three ways people procrastinate do you need to be most aware of? What can you do this week to be mindful of it?

I need to be mindful about not letting my emotions control me, at least not the bad ones, because they will make me procrastinate on my goals. It is something for me, which I don't only need to be mindful of this week, but I need to be mindful of it all the time.

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March 31, 2017 - 22 days without gaming

It has been a good day so far. I don't feel as frustrated as the past few days, I have way more energy than the past few days, and I've made some plans for the weekend. I think that I will feel even better after tomorrow, since I still have to work tomorrow.

This week in The Netherlands, the Bookweek is going on. When you buy €12.50 of Dutch books, you get the Bookweek gift, which I also a free whole-day train ticket. Of course I'm planning to use it, since it gives me something to do. I think about going to Maastricht, which is almost a three-hour trip by train, from where I live. I've been there before when I was going to Belgium, but haven't really been there for long. Now I am planning to visit Dominicanen, which has been called the most beautiful bookstore in the world. I really can't believe that I haven't been there already.

Since it is Friday, I will have to write a short story for my website. The story is almost done, and I'm really happy with the result. So again, no gaming today :)

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Congrats on the 22 days mate, keep up the good work. Also good that you lift, physical strain might be tough at first but the effects are worth the hassle. Reading is a rewarding hobby indeed, however I mostly read for work or studies only. Poetry and the occasional short story are the only forms of recreational reading for me. Time to finish that one Hemingway novel.

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April 3, 2017 - 25 days without gaming

I haven't been working on my big goals for the past few days. I do feel stupid for not working on them, but to be honest, I don't feel that bad. I still haven't played video games, I have been working on the smaller goals (working out and writing for my site), and I did go on a train trip yesterday.

You might think that going on a train trip isn't that important, but for me it is. It really opened my eyes, and it even gave me a new hobby I think. I really liked visiting a city which is quite far away from where I live, and I want to do that more often. Also met some interesting people on the way, who gave me some ideas for new stories. After the trip, I went to a restaurant which I wanted to visit for a long time already, and I ate the best chicken I've ever eaten. Really can't believe that people go to KFC, when they can eat chicken as good as they make it at the Roast Chicken Bar. It is weird to think that yesterday was one the best days I've had in my live, for a long time, and I didn't even did very special things. But I liked taking the trip, and will make these kind of trips more often.

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April 5, 2017 - 27 days without gaming

Just three more days to go until I've survived one month without gaming. Don't know what I'm going to do after that month, but I think I will be trying to complete the 90 days. If the next two months will be as easy as this month, it will be a piece of cake... I hope :|.

I am in my happy mode today, and I don't even know why. Well, who cares? I think that I will be writing a lot today. Want to work on my entry for a writing contest, need to write something for my site, and I also want to work on my book again. Furthermore, I am going to write down some ideas I have for short (and long) stories, and maybe even start writing the story.

Edited by KevinV1990

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April 5, 2017 - 27 days without gaming

Just three more days to go until I've survived one month without gaming. Don't know what I'm going to do after that month, but I think I will be trying to complete the 90 days. If the next two months will be as easy as this month, it will be a piece of cake... I hope :|.

I am in my happy mode today, and I don't even know why. Well, who cares? I think that I will be writing a lot today. Want to work on my entry for a writing contest, need to write something for my site, and I also want to work on my book again. Furthermore, I am going to write down some ideas I have for short (and long) stories, and maybe even start writing the story.

Awesome, I would really love to read your writings.  If you could post a link or just an excerpt from your writings! You are doing great mate

Would really like to share them, but they are written in Dutch, so I first need to translate them in English.????

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April 5, 2017 - 27 days without gaming

Just three more days to go until I've survived one month without gaming. Don't know what I'm going to do after that month, but I think I will be trying to complete the 90 days. If the next two months will be as easy as this month, it will be a piece of cake... I hope :|.

I am in my happy mode today, and I don't even know why. Well, who cares? I think that I will be writing a lot today. Want to work on my entry for a writing contest, need to write something for my site, and I also want to work on my book again. Furthermore, I am going to write down some ideas I have for short (and long) stories, and maybe even start writing the story.

Awesome, I would really love to read your writings.  If you could post a link or just an excerpt from your writings! You are doing great mate

Would really like to share them, but they are written in Dutch, so I first need to translate them in English.????

I am from Austria, so we speak german, so I can read it without any problem ;D

Hahaha, well you can always try: www.kevinvoetelink.nl is my website/blog.

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April 7, 2017 - 29 days without gaming

Just one more day until I've reached the 30-day mark. While I think that it is quite an accomplishment to not game for thirty days, I am not completely satisfied. Not playing video games gave me a lot of spare time, but I didn't do much with it. I have plans, and I'm motivated to work on these plans, but I didn't work much on them. That has to change, but how? I tried writing them down in a planner, tried focusing on just one goal at a time, but it just doesn't work. Sometimes I feel kinda down, maybe even depressed, and I just feel like not doing anything. Maybe it should be my main goal to first work on that problem.

I want to become the best version of myself, and while I know I have to work on myself to reach that goal, I just can't seem to find the starting point of this journey.

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April 8, 2017 - 30 days without gaming

The 30-day mark has been reached, and it has been easier than I thought. When I stopped gaming at the 10th of March, I told some people (while I intended to only stop gaming for a week), and they just can't believe when I tell them that I have not been playing video games since that day. It feels good when people acknowledge the steps that you have made. If I would only acknowledge the achievement myself, which I don't really do. I mean, I think I've come a long way by not playing video games for thirty days, but I also think that I didn't do much, with the time I got by not gaming. I need to change that for me to be happy with the achievement myself.i

Today wasn't really a good day at work. Some little mistakes were made (not only by me), and because I watch over the team, the responsibilities lie with me. Of course I had to report the mistakes to the team leader, and I knew that she wouldn't be happy about it, but she had no reason to act like a bitch, which she did. The team leaders at my work aren't really leaders (excluding one off them), they more act like bosses. That is why many people can't get along with them, which more than once resulted in big fights (nothing physical as I know off). They really have some kind of god-complex. I also had quite some fight with my team leader, back in 2015, which resulted in me having to deal with a lot of stress. Ever since then, I decided to not letting her get to my nerves like that ever again. Today she almost did, and I really got to the point where I wanted to slap her. To get me to that point, you really need to go very far. To be clear, I would never really slap her, as I don't hit women. But it shows how much she can anger me, and my colleagues. Now I'm thinking about quitting before even having a new job, which I shouldn't do, but I am really considering it. But I also don't want to think about my work again, when I'm at home. My work stays at my work.

While writing this, I am taking a break from writing my book on having a gaming addiction. I just started writing, and so far everything is going great. I'm just starting to feel really tired, as I did not sleep very good the past night, but I don't want to take a nap. So I need to fight through the tiredness. B|

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