Kia Ora - Albert's Journal

[wellAlbidarned]

Hi everyone,
I quit games at new year last year. There's been a few stumbles along the way, but I've stayed pretty clean. I haven't gamed at all in the past month. I've been staying busy with university, bands, shows, and sport. Life is good but I've had issues with compulsive internet use, which is partially why I've decided to start this journal so there's some accountability.

So day 1.
I watched two league of legends videos today. Yes, I know it's not a good idea. It doesn't help me in any way at all. I refuse to beat myself up about it though, which is one thing I've learned through this process. The simple matter is that we all screw up. We're not perfectly productive robots. Instead of dwelling on the mistake I made, I got up and went to the gym, then went for a run. Unfortunately when I got home and made lunch, I went back on the computer and vegged out for another two hours. I felt terrible afterwards, yet somehow I never quite remember that before I park myself in front of the screen. At the moment the habit I'm focusing on is simply getting up at 8am 6 days a week minimum, allowing one day with a sleep-in for late night partying/socializing. 

10 Things I'm grateful for:
1. Food
2. My Health
3. I live in a country where people don't get shot randomly
4. The awesome haircut I got yesterday
5. The time I have to focus on my personal development
6. Sexy blondes
7. Sexy redheads

8. Fried onions
9. This website
10. That the ocean isn't filled with sulphuric acid
11. That rats don't know how to use machine guns

 

[Cam Adair]

Hey Albert! Awesome to see you join us over here. 

[wellAlbidarned]

Cheers cam!

Day 2 - Short entry since I'm absolutely buggered and want to go to sleep.

Checked out a bit of the NZ vs SL test match. In the afternoon had cricket training and then rehearsals for a show I'm in the band for. I did play a lone game of league on a friend's account while I was at their house enjoying the cricket. It was completely spontaneous and I have no interest of installing or going back to play again so it wasn't a big issue.

Things I'm grateful for
1. Goat's milk milkshakes
2. That my eyes aren't on my buttcheeks
3. Weeping angels don't exist
4. Kane Williamson being awesome
5. Baked beans
6. Chocolate
7. Music
8. Theatre
9. Life in general
10. Cats

 

[wellAlbidarned]

Hello all.
Great day on the whole. Slightly slow start, and I did watch a Solwolf video (one of my guilty pleasures) but I had a good jam with a group of friends, wrote my end of year review, and went to play a show. Was slightly tired but pushed through it and enjoyed it enough.

Things I'm grateful for
1. Cats
2. The sun
3. The protective magnosphere which prevents ultraviolet rays killing us all

4. The moon
5. Saturn (I'm in a spacey mood)
6. The universe for existing
7. The illusion of time
8. Baked beans
9. Chocolate sauce

10. Grass

[Marquess]

I did play a lone game of league

 

You should change your latest post to "day 1" then. That's not how quitting works.

To be fair, I just watched a few minutes of WoW arena, and I feel disgusting. Watching any sort of vids or even hanging around gaming forums is a horrible idea.

Edited December 11, 2015 by Marchosias

[Cam Adair]

Great day on the whole. Slightly slow start, and I did watch a Solwolf video (one of my guilty pleasures) but I had a good jam with a group of friends, wrote my end of year review, and went to play a show.

How was the show? You're in a band? What do you play?

[AlexTheGrape]

Hi wellAbiidared,

I also come from and live in New Zealand (I can tell you likely live here from 'Kia Ora'). It's great you've made the decision to quit, and I wish the best for you. I wish I could say more positive, but from the posts you're writing, it seems you're having a lot of trouble with ridding yourself from gaming. I went for about 23 days without playing any games, then played Dark Souls II and had to restart my detox all over again because the point of quitting is to not play any more.

If you'd like some fresh motivation for quitting, perhaps you could relate to Ryan here: http://forum.gamequitters.com/topic/354-follow-me-on-this-journey-of-success-ryan-pages-90-day-challenge-starts-now/    His introduction is also something worthwhile to look at.

It appears that you're having trouble keeping yourself away from gaming videos and gaming in general. The best solution is to block yourself out of it to make sure that your emotional attachments don't get the better of you or experience an 'extinction burst' and relapse. This means that sometime after quitting your brain will attempt a last-ditch effort to gain the mental stimulation you've been used to by urging you to play games, and I would believe this is when a relapse occurs. Unless you actively block yourself out of gaming (leaving no way for you to get back into games), you will be very likely to relapse and this hard work to quit will be wasted. You only have to look at Cam and see that it is possible to achieve the amazing by eliminating all chances of turning back to gaming, so perhaps he could be a great motivator for you.

I don't mean to point out failure, but this person had similar problems to you but did not fully commit to quitting, leaving his steam account accessible by not changing its password or associated email address, as well as keeping his consoles (therefore being usable). He tried hard but one day just disappeared from the forum, likely because he left the door open to future gaming and then indulged in old habits. His journal is a good one to look at as an example of such behaviour: http://forum.gamequitters.com/topic/255-every-journal-starts-with-the-first-post/?page=1

I hope this helps, and please take the time to see these past examples of how different approaches to quitting games have widely varying results. Don't forget to replace your old activities (e.g. gaming and video watching) with others that will engage you in a positive way.

All the best for your recovery!

 

[Marquess]

AlexTheGrape put it extremely well. The only thing I'd like to add is concerning your gaming "friends". I'm using the quotation marks because in the vast majority of cases, people you spend time with when playing aren't your actual friends. Your entire relationship is based on gaming, all the awesome and exciting experiences only came to be due to the game. Take that away, and you're left with nothing.

Either way, you need to cut these ties completely if you want to quit. Just like an alcoholic needs to stop hanging with his drinking buddies, a game quitter needs to trash all his gaming "friends". I'd even go as far as to walk away when your RL friends start to discuss gaming. Luckily, I've almost no RL friends left, so I'm doing great when it comes to that.

[AlexTheGrape]

Marchosias has a good point, and here is some advice I have given a couple of months ago on this topic:

"Just leave your gamer friends be for a month or so. You will quickly find if they wish to be proper friends or if you were just a playmate for gaming; those who care about you will understand and hopefully support your decision to stop gaming. It is surprisingly easy to make new friends, I befriended a girl on the bus today, starting by talking about her iPhone."

I don't think you need to cut all ties with gamer friends, but to just keep the relationships that are meaningful and with those who do not pressure you to be a gaming playmate with them. Anyhow, that's your choice to make.

[Marquess]

Well, there may be exceptions. I've kept contact with 1 person. But you absolutely should only keep people who have other things going on in their lives apart from gaming, and people with who you've discussed non-gaming stuff with before. I don't see this working otherwise. If you keep in contact with this great guy who's still playing games 12 hours a day, well, I'd honestly say it's just a question of time before he starts luring you back -- perhaps even without him realizing it.

Edited December 12, 2015 by Marchosias
CRIMINAL SENTENCE STRUCTURE

[wellAlbidarned]

Hey guys - went away for a few days without internet. Slacked off on posting on this

cheers for the responses. I think I may have misrepresented myself slightly - I haven't had difficulty with gamer friends leading me back. I see my gamer friends pretty rarely now, and only in non-gaming contexts. Those I was referring to who I do see are friends I usually play IRL sports with and that's literally the only time I've gamed with them.

I will admit to have watched a few too many gaming youtube videos, but I find all it serves it to reinforce the pointlessness of playing. Eventually I'll eliminate it completely but on the whole I'm very happy with my progress in life since starting the quitting process.

[wellAlbidarned]

Great day on the whole. Slightly slow start, and I did watch a Solwolf video (one of my guilty pleasures) but I had a good jam with a group of friends, wrote my end of year review, and went to play a show.

How was the show? You're in a band? What do you play?

I play in a multitude of bands on and off - whoever needs someone really. I play mostly bass but a bit of drums and guitar here and there.

[wellAlbidarned]

I did play a lone game of league

 

You should change your latest post to "day 1" then. That's not how quitting works.

To be fair, I just watched a few minutes of WoW arena, and I feel disgusting. Watching any sort of vids or even hanging around gaming forums is a horrible idea.

I appreciate the sentiment but I don't see quitting like that. If I went home, immediately reinstalled league on my own laptop and started binging? Sure, that's a definite reset. One random game with friends in a social context where I don't usually game isn't problematic.

[wellAlbidarned]

So - summary of the last 10 or so days

Went to the Coromandel to spend a few days at the beach. No internet, no TV - absolute bliss. Got home and started my new fitness plan focusing on legs and core strength. Played football with some friends, went to cricket training. Asked a girl on a date yesterday and got her number.

Grateful list - 
1. Chocolate
2. The feeling of grass on bare feet
3. Cold showers
4. My parents
5. Existence
6. Valve amplifiers
7. House parties
8. Acting communities
9. Beer
10. Books

[Cam Adair]

Nice! Let us know how the date goes