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NEW PODCAST: Why Are New Activities Boring After You Quit Gaming?

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Mettermrck

Hi I'm Bob

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I'm actually battling several addictions that I'm trying to get rid of, including soda, fast food, and computer games.

I'm 39, I never finished my degree, I'm severely overweight and I spend a lot of my free time playing games. I am married and I do have a full time job, but I struggle with both since I call out sick a lot and I spend a lot of money on my addictions.

I've battled major depression and anxiety all my life and since dropping out of college, it's been a long, exhausting, off and on war with my habits - the weight, the gaming, etc. I win some battles, lose others, and don't make much headway.

Part of me wants to break with computer games because I want to transform my life, and not just tinker with it. I've already committed to a no-soda policy, now I'm arguing with myself over the gaming.

What holds me back is that is that I am a serious history buff. I'm not sure how many former wargamers  we have on here,  but historical and military computer games taught me a lot of history over the years and helped fuel my passion for the subject. Playing a good strategic war game brings history to life, and helps you visualize the battle, the map, etc. I've actually written historical fiction using gaming experiences as inspiration.

So it's hard to walk away. I don't know if I'm rationalizing or not. I'm good at deceiving myself. Anyhow, I figure this forum would be a good place to start to sort out my thoughts. Hello all!

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Hey Bob! Thanks for joining us here. Hypothetically, if you were to remove games from your life, what are some ways you could continue to bring history to life? This is a good place to start. Also, I'd recommend instead of focusing on removing games forever, just take 90 days and then re-evaluate. During these 90 days you can use the time to find alternatives to still keep up with your interest in war and history. BTW, have you heard the Hardcore History podcast? If not, bet you'll love it.

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Yes, I love the Hardcore History podcast and listen to some other historical podcasts as well. I managed to quit computer games (and soda) for almost three months last year. I walked a lot and lost over twenty pounds. I think I got over excited and let down my guard though. It's been hard to try again as I gained all the weight back and it's hard to reclaim the same ground all over again.

I also had trouble finding alternatives to gaming. Reading books helps, but I can't read 3-4 hours a day hehe. Maybe I can supplement it with podcasts. I just have to watch it. Sometimes podcasts on a particular timeperiod can trigger an urge to play a computer game set in that era!

I do think about how to express my passion for history without games. I used to be heavily involved in a community of gamers who played historical computer games. It was easy to be tied into a community of both gaming and history. But I was also overweight and spending hours on that website. Not healthy. I'd like to find community to fuel my passion without luring myself back into gaming.

I've  been considering the 90 day detox actually, sort of a compromise between moderation and abstinence. Maybe that'll help me sort out my thoughts. I appreciate your thoughts!

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Hi Bob! Welcome to the forum!

It's great that you identified your passion and spent years on developing it. Have you tried historical reenactment? Sounds like something that would check many boxes: being social, far from the computer, and physically active.

Have you spoken with your wife about what's really going on in your head? I did it with mine and she was astonished. She would have never imagined the part that gaming played in my life. Sharing your world with her, being vulnerable, could make wonders for your relationship.

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Hi Bob! Welcome to the forum!

It's great that you identified your passion and spent years on developing it. Have you tried historical reenactment? Sounds like something that would check many boxes: being social, far from the computer, and physically active.

Have you spoken with your wife about what's really going on in your head? I did it with mine and she was astonished. She would have never imagined the part that gaming played in my life. Sharing your world with her, being vulnerable, could make wonders for your relationship.

I can't agree more with what Tom said.  My wife is still gradually understanding with I went through with gaming.  I was able to hide so well that she has trouble comprehending it at all.

The advice that I received about talking to my wife was to not just let it all out at once.  That's what I felt that I needed to do, but I was told to just bring it up and let the conversation evolve over days, weeks, or even months.  I'm very glad that I took that approach because I didn't shock my wife into being defensive or scared.  She understands that I'm trying to better myself because I love her and our daughter and it's been good.

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The advice that I received about talking to my wife was to not just let it all out at once.  That's what I felt that I needed to do, but I was told to just bring it up and let the conversation evolve over days, weeks, or even months.  I'm very glad that I took that approach because I didn't shock my wife into being defensive or scared.  She understands that I'm trying to better myself because I love her and our daughter and it's been good.

That's great advice!

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The advice that I received about talking to my wife was to not just let it all out at once.  That's what I felt that I needed to do, but I was told to just bring it up and let the conversation evolve over days, weeks, or even months.  I'm very glad that I took that approach because I didn't shock my wife into being defensive or scared.  She understands that I'm trying to better myself because I love her and our daughter and it's been good.

That's great advice!

I'm just trying to give as much good advice as I get! :)

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Sorry for the delay. I'm starting to lean more towards quitting gaming but think I want to start with a 90 day detox beginning tomorrow.

My wife definitely knows about the depths of my gaming addiction. Sometimes it works, where she'll watch TV shows that I don't like yet she does, while I play my games next to her. But other times it's a problem. If she calls on her way home from work while I'm playing a computer game, I can get irritable and distracted as she's "cutting into my computer time". We joke about it sometimes, but I don't like how I get.

The spending doesn't help either. I tend to buy games off Steam when they're on sale and it drives her nuts as i buy games even before i finished the old ones! Setting limits doesn't seem to help, as I go over it or else during the rest of the day, all I think about is my next gaming period.

I have health issues with diabetes, etc., which is driven by my soda/fast food addiction and not helped by hours of gaming. Should I journal when I do the 90 day detox? Thanks for your advice everyone! 

Bob

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