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Colonel

Over 30 games addict, any hope?

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Hi Guys.

I'm a gamer in my mid 30's and like many of you I've got my fair share of issue like depression, social awkwardness and general disillusionment. I've come to the conclusion that gaming has become a problem for me and is exasperating a lot of my issues. Although I've managed to go through university and have a career I'm finding that I'm stalling and haven't made any progress in my life either professionally or socially for 3-4 years now, life has become unrewarding, in fact I'm not enjoying life at all and I'm seeing all my old friends drift away and make families. While it's great to see your friends happy with kids, it also hurts knowing that you've missed opportunities and I'm at a point where I need to change my behaviour and potentionally career while I still have some decent miles left on the clock.

I'm guessing I'm one of the older guys here and I'm more then a little anxious that I may have left it to late to turn things around, so if you've got any inspirational stories of 30+ guys/women turning it around, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for reading.

Colonel

 

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Hi Colonel, thanks for joining the community!

We'll be here to support you the whole way, provided you keep us moderately up to date with how you're doing, even if you relapse.

I don't have any motivational stories about how 30+ aged people overcame video games, but the moderator Joe (wookieshark) has a compelling story, so I'd recommend you have a peek at his journal, and look at how life has changed for him: http://forum.gamequitters.com/topic/55-my-journal-joe/

If you'd like more inspirational stories and a general feel for how to improve yourself and change your lifestyle, The Slight Edge would be a good book to read. I think the newest edition (probably the 8th edition) has a lot of stories from people that have changed their lives through changing their mundane everyday activities. Even though they aren't gamers, the same approach is needed to build the lifestyle you want.

There are plenty of resources that you can use from this site that would be of great help to you, I'd recommend you go through the steps in Respawn to get you on the right track and in motion.

I hope all the best for your recovery from gaming and hope I've helped!

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Hey Colonel! Great to have you here with us. There are actually quite a few Game Quitters in their mid-30s right now, so it's never too late to turn things around and we're here to support you.

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Thanks guys, appreciate the support.

One of the issues I'm having is that I tend to have regular gaming sessions (once a week) with my brother, who lives in another part of the country and it does help to keep us in contact and we chat while we play, it's been a good bonding experience as we've not historically been very close, we've also been working on a small game together using unity. I'm hoping I can limit my gaming to 1 hour a week in which I play online with him, but if I can't keep to that I'm going to have to go cold turkey. If I need to quit gaming cold turkey would you recommend stopping our joint project seeing as it's game related?

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Hi Guys.

I'm a gamer in my mid 30's and like many of you I've got my fair share of issue like depression, social awkwardness and general disillusionment. I've come to the conclusion that gaming has become a problem for me and is exasperating a lot of my issues. Although I've managed to go through university and have a career I'm finding that I'm stalling and haven't made any progress in my life either professionally or socially for 3-4 years now, life has become unrewarding, in fact I'm not enjoying life at all and I'm seeing all my old friends drift away and make families. While it's great to see your friends happy with kids, it also hurts knowing that you've missed opportunities and I'm at a point where I need to change my behaviour and potentionally career while I still have some decent miles left on the clock.

I'm guessing I'm one of the older guys here and I'm more then a little anxious that I may have left it to late to turn things around, so if you've got any inspirational stories of 30+ guys/women turning it around, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for reading.

Colonel

 

Ha! I am almost 40. I am also looking to find a different purpose than what I have done so far with my job, and I have to say, 30+ is by no means old! Every day is a new beginning. There are plenty of inspiring stories around, Joe's being one of them here.

I find if you are older, you know yourself better and have more life experience. The only downside to me is that I can't walk home from parties at 5 am anymore and then be back up and running at 9 am. Beyond that, if you eat well, work out, read good literature, e.g, the Slight Edge, you're good. 

Some 20 year olds are actually already like 70, while some 70 year olds still kick their own son's asses.

Or like Benjamin Franklin said: Many people die at twenty five and aren't buried until they are seventy five.

Good luck on your journey!

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With your brother you can try 1 hour/week and leave it there. If you find it's causing other issues, I'd recommend finding an alternative way to spend time together. For instance, a 30 minute phone call would be wonders for the relationship too. Find the best of both if you can.

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Thanks for the response Florian, guess the old saying youth is wasted on the yound comes to mind... although I appreicate that mid 30 isn't necessarily all that old, wish I could go back and talk to my 18 year old self, but that's life we make mistakes, we learn and improve. Definately feel the pressure of time now that I'm 40-50% through my life, certainly feels like it's gone quickly so far, using that as motivation to not waste anymore time.

 

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With your brother you can try 1 hour/week and leave it there. If you find it's causing other issues, I'd recommend finding an alternative way to spend time together. For instance, a 30 minute phone call would be wonders for the relationship too.

 

Thankfully we haven't been able to get the 1 hour "game time" this week because of scheduling so I'm now just over a week clean.  I've been feeling a little down but it's good to not be using them especially as time "filler".

Unfortunately neither of us are particular good with phone calls but maybe that will change when there's more to talk about besides jobs, video games and movies.

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The good news is, as you continue down this journey to away from games you will have many new experiences, and in these experiences you will have more to talk about with your cousin! :D

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It might be easier to quit gaming now that you are in your 30s than earlier. At least it was for me.

Is there any other passions you can share with your brother? Or you can go deeper and ask him for advice on your gaming issues. I also have a brother who lives far away. We usually talk music.

One of the greatest pushes in turning my life around? Time by Pink Floyd.

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day 
Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
And you are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought I'd something more to say

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Thanks for the advice Tom, greatly appreciated.

Love Pink Floyd and "Dark Side of the Moon" is probably myfavourite floyd album, very good choice of song btw.

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Not sure if you're still around, Colonel, but wanted to let you know I'm just joining this community at 39 years old going on 40 next week. It's never too late! Surely we're only at the halfway point!

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I'm coming up on 30, so it's not only a bunch of teenagers in here! Not that there's anything wrong with being a teenager. :)

I haven't run the numbers but I'm pretty sure the forum has more 30+ than under 30. It's close regardless.

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