My Journal - Joe

502 posts in this topic

Posted

I love video games. This is a really important thing for me to admit. I love the immersion, the challenges, and the rewards.

I hate video games. This is just as important for me to admit. I hate the isolation, my neglect of other things I love, the depression and anxiety I feel with I realize how I neglect things I love even more.

I would love to game in moderation, but in 25 years of gaming, I've never been able to do it.

Today is the day I choose my life over games.

I know I won't be able to do this without the support of others who understand this part of me, and this is why I'm here.

I hope to one day reach a point when I can support others in this struggle, but for now I can only ask for your support.

This is me reaching out to all of you because I feel this is a safe place for me to do so.

This is where I will lay it all out for you to see because I can't do this alone.

7 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Woot! I love seeing another journal up here, you and Ryan made my day! :D

We've got your back! You can do it!

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Woot! I love seeing another journal up here, you and Ryan made my day! :D

We've got your back! You can do it!

?

Finding this site made my day!

Talking about video game addiction is a tough thing to do, but knowing that people here really care about and understand this problem inspires me to let the words flow.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

?Talking about video game addiction is a tough thing to do, but knowing that people here really care about and understand this problem inspires me to let the words flow.

?Exactly. It helps a lot to know you are not alone and have people around you who can help. We're all in this together.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Day 2 of quitting has been successful so far. I've gone about a month without playing games before, but never with the intention of never playing them again. That month wasn't hard for me. This day is. I haven't had any strong urges to play. The difficult part for me that I feel a loss of the games. I really loved them, and never going back to them feels like walking away from a friend I cared about, but was such a bad influence in my life. Can anybody relate to this?

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Can anybody relate to this?

?Definitely. It's something I've gone through during breakups too. It passes over time. Remember, moving on from games doesn't take anything away from them and what they meant to you. It's just about embracing impermanence and recognizing that you are closing one chapter (with games) to start a new chapter (without games).

Spend some time reading about impermanence today. It will help lift your spirits. :)

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

?Definitely. It's something I've gone through during breakups too. It passes over time. Remember, moving on from games doesn't take anything away from them and what they meant to you. It's just about embracing impermanence and recognizing that you are closing one chapter (with games) to start a new chapter (without games).

Spend some time reading about impermanence today. It will help lift your spirits. :)

?Does this mean that you have fond memories of games without feeling guilty about those memories? I feel like this is a very important statement, and I really want to understand what you mean.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

?Does this mean that you have fond memories of games without feeling guilty about those memories? I feel like this is a very important statement, and I really want to understand what you mean.

?Yes, exactly. It's that you can look back on it as something that was a fun time in your life and it was meaningful without feeling guilty or regret or that you need to continue it now. It's just a chapter in your life that has now closed to create space for something new.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

?Yes, exactly. It's that you can look back on it as something that was a fun time in your life and it was meaningful without feeling guilty or regret or that you need to continue it now. It's just a chapter in your life that has now closed to create space for something new.

?This has never occurred to me before! It's just like how I look back on partying like a young twenty-something fondly, but since I'm a family man now, I don't do that anymore. Thanks for this very helpful insight!

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Today was a good day for me! Taking a fellow game quitter's advice, I meditated for the first time ever. It has helped with the anxiety that has been plaguing me for the last week. I also started a private journal in addition to this one where I could write down things that I would rather keep to myself. While meditating, I felt a sense of peace about leaving games for good. I also felt a sense of security that my daughter will have the kind of father she needs. I was close to shedding a tear of happiness which is profound for me since I almost never cry.

I'm so thankful to all of the people who have given me kind words and advice. My goal is to continue on this path and help others once I "level up" my game quitting skills.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

?This has never occurred to me before! It's just like how I look back on partying like a young twenty-something fondly, but since I'm a family man now, I don't do that anymore.

?Exactly. It helps a lot to see our life from the point of different chapters and I think this really helps especially with gaming. We don't need to hold onto it, we can appreciate it for what it was and move forward towards something new!

I meditated for the first time ever. It has helped with the anxiety that has been plaguing me for the last week. I was close to shedding a tear of happiness which is profound for me since I almost never cry.

?This is perfect! Keep meditating each day and you'll continue to get a lot of amazing experiences and insights from it. Meditation allows us to slow down and reconnect with our true selves. The science behind it is crazy awesome too!

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

This morning I meditated again. It was helpful just like it was yesterday. During my meditation I experienced a bit of fear of letting myself down and not continuing to build and progress on this journey. Throughout my life, I have had difficulties with keeping good habits. Even small things like taking my medication every day can sometimes be a struggle for me. I am just wrapping up a month off for paternity leave which allowed me to confront my video game addiction and take active steps to deal with it. My normal life is very busy. I work a full time job, have a new baby, and I will be taking a university course in the fall. My days when I'm taking courses are typically to work six hour days on school days, drive about 90 minutes to school, be in class for an hour, drive 90 minutes home, and take care of house and family matters until it's time for bed. My non school days involve working 10 hours, going home to study, and taking care of house and family matters until it's time for bed.

It is a dream of mine to finish my education, and I have been doing what it takes for years to get there. Hopefully I am two years away from wrapping it up. I can wait to achieve this dream of mine, but the price I pay is high to support my family and chase my dream.

I guess what I'm saying is that I need help being held accountable to continue my progress. That's why I'm here. I know I need all the support I can get.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Awesome! Keep up with the meditation habit, it's a perfect way to start your morning and will help you maintain more stability in your day.

And great job with your education. That's a big goal and one you should feel proud of that you're working towards each day you do.

One question: On your 90 minute commute, what do you listen to? Is it music? Radio? News? Podcasts? I'd highly recommend either listening to podcasts (see a list here) or listening to audiobooks (use Audible). You'll be blown away by how many books you can "read" (which will help you not only help you learn but keep you in a more positive growth mindset) by using the 180 minutes (commute both ways) each day. Podcasts can also be really interesting and inspiring.

Try it out. One book to add to your list is The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. It'll help you understand how you can maintain the habits you sometimes have a hard time with. :)

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Awesome! Keep up with the meditation habit, it's a perfect way to start your morning and will help you maintain more stability in your day.

And great job with your education. That's a big goal and one you should feel proud of that you're working towards each day you do.

One question: On your 90 minute commute, what do you listen to? Is it music? Radio? News? Podcasts? I'd highly recommend either listening to podcasts (see a list here) or listening to audiobooks (use Audible). You'll be blown away by how many books you can "read" (which will help you not only help you learn but keep you in a more positive growth mindset) by using the 180 minutes (commute both ways) each day. Podcasts can also be really interesting and inspiring.

Try it out. One book to add to your list is The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. It'll help you understand how you can maintain the habits you sometimes have a hard time with. :)

?I usually listen to NPR because it's usually thought provoking on my drive unless I'm getting sleepy. In that case I switch to energy filled music.

It sounds like The Power of Habit needs to be my first read! I'm going to check it out right away!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Today was a success even if it wasn't easy. I had received news that a dear family member of mine was injured and in the hospital. Her chances of survival are fair, but uncertain. I was so upset to hear this. The urge to play Candy Crush so bad, but I thought about how much better life is becoming without games. Sitting in the couch with my phone in my hand, I willed myself to stop and control this urge. I then sat there still for a few minutes just collecting myself. I feel proud of myself for this.

I also started reading The Power of Habit and am enjoying it. Hardwiring Happiness is a similar read that I had forgotten about until today.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now