More serious attempt of a journal

[Streuselsturm]

The patchnotes were a funny idea but ultimately they lack that little bit of seriousness a journal should have, also writing them took too much effort and stopped myself from even starting.

12.10.2016

So since I came home from a very awesome trip in indonesia (from 5th of september until 29th) getting married there and coming home to germany I noticed:

1: I really really REALLY don't like the weather in germany

2: It is for some reason pretty hard to gain momentum back.

 

 

 

Currently I feel super weak after I come home. Work seems a lot more hard. I DO work longer too (home care service for elderly) my shifts now start at 6 and i hardly get home before 3.

 

Last week I was sick for 3 days. Still recovering from that the energy is just not there. During my sick days I didn't feel like sport at all. yesterday I was finally able to hit the gym again and only because my wife dragged me along.

 

My biggest issue at the moment is that I do have a lot of ideas and ambitions. Goals oh yes I have them . I wanna start something like a business  and I want to find a way to move into some tropical country and live there for the rest of my life. That is an awesome goal and I enjoy thinking about it a very much. It puts a huge grin on my face thinking about checking the weather and seeing its wonderfull 30 degrees on an october afternoon knowing this weather will stay for the whole year.

 

But when I come home and my wife is still at work... I just don't get the energy to DO anything towards this goal. I try to break it down thinking i need to be patient and to take baby steps. Learning a few things at a time but the amount of stuff I want and should do I so overwhelming that I don't know where to start. And then I do some small housework, stopp that listen to some music, stop that, browse the internet, stop that, go into the city to buy something stop that to go back home to finish cleaning up so wifey is happy when I am home.

 

It’s frustrating.

 

Good thing is I have only little crawings. Mostly during the morning when I work and my mind is often restless. I get most of my creative ideas when I sit on my bike in the morning driving to work. Lots of good ideas in my head, also crawings since most of the writing ideas I have stem at least to some extend from gaming or listening to game soundtracks. I can write a whole scene in my head just from listening to some piece of music but later when I am home most of these are gone. I can deal with these crawings... at least I think I am. There was no urge to go back to games in the last 2 weeks I am far too stubborn for that luckily.

 

I am also starting to believe that gaming was only part of my problem and there is something else that bothers and blocks me. Maybe it's too much internet. I decided to use my cellphone ONLY for work and organising meetings with friends from now on until next week and check how that turns out. Otherwise I tend to always check it or watch videos during small breaks,

Very unstructured but felt good writing thís.

 

 

Edited October 12, 2016 by Streuselsturm

[Kiki]

Lukas I understand your feelings.

After a long summer holiday (without planning) I became unproductive and was discouraged due to the overwhelming homework. It needs time for both of us to get used to work again. Things will get a lot better when we are in work mode.

For your creative ideas, if you don't want them to go away, maybe you can try to tell someone once you arrive? Or jot them down on your phone so that you won't forget it? Usually if I have any ideas about drawing, I will sketch a thumbnail for the composition in my sketchbook so that I can work on it later.

I have many ambitions too. Maybe you can start with finding your target country? 

Wishing you every success!

[Reno F]

Did you just get married?

Congratulations! All the best to the couple!

Tip: Australia is the best country in the world, Melbourne is the best city, Australians are the best people and Australian English is the best English!

[Streuselsturm]

Haha thank you. Australia is definitely on the list especially the north. 

Currently my problems have shifted since I must have trapped a nerv in my back somehow. No sports for today unfortunately 

[Cam Adair]

How's it going?