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Simon E

Hi, I'm free. (Name's Simon)

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Alright, so here we go. Here's my story, which is probably just a variation to the one you guys all know so well. (You dont have to read the bible below, I am mainly writing for my own sake.)

My name is Simon, I've been playing video games for atleast half of my 18 years long life, starting to play seriously at the age of twelve. The games I've indulged in varies, it could be everything from singleplayer strategy games to bigger online games such as WoW. Mainly though, it has been league of legends, which I unsuspectingly signed up for in 2012. Everything about it had me hooked; the social component, the competitiveness, the way you could see yourself climbing up the ranks as you dominated over other players in your games. It became something to put all my enegry in, a passion, and I've spent so much time looking up guides and watching pros. But the moment came when I realised sitting in front of the computer and showing off your virtual skill to other players probably wasn't everything life had to offer. At this time I also realised how hard it was to break free. My nights would look something like this; I end up in front of the screen around six-seven pm (be it because of lonliness, tiredness, insecurities - it doesnt matter) and stay here until late at night. My body hurts, I fee completelyl awful, and furiously I tell myself this has to stop, this is the last time. Surprise - it never is. (Stumbled upon some kind of diary a few days ago, and I had no small amount of shivers when I realised I had been trying to quit for over 1.5 years.) Sure, I managed to go free from games certain periods. I even got 53 days into the 90-day detox. But well, I always came back.

Yesterday I played a few games, went to ate dinner, then came back and suddenly realised I had two paths to walk from here. I could give in to my addicted brain telling me to go at it again, and I could with perfect clarity see where this path would take me. Or I could take the other one, the one I deep down so desperately wanted to take. I dont know what circumstances made it happen, but I chose the second option. I wrote to the company owning LoL, and asked them to delete my account. (The account I have spent probably thousand of dollars on, and 3249 hours of my life. Yes you read that correctly. And that is only one of the many games I've played.) It kinda broke my heart when they answered today and said they would do it, but you know how broken bones become stronger than before once they've healed? 

Main focus now will be surviving the hell the following days will prove to be, but after that I'm going to do all the things gaming has held me back from doing. Ive been a big reader since I was young, and have dreamt of being an author for just as long, so now I'm gonna pick up on that writing. (And alot of my other hobbies; drawing, playing the guitar and the piano, excercising. When I think about it theres so many things I want to do.)

I apologise sincerely to anyone struggling through this wall of text lol. To all the ones already having quit, congratulations, I'll be happy to join you. To all the ones considering quitting, make the hard desicion. You will be stronger afterwards.

Credit to Cam ofcourse, for all his content and his patient answers, and to the author of this post: https://m.reddit.com/r/StopGaming/comments/2ca0xz/ventrant_nsfw_language/ for delivering the harsh but much needed truth. 

/Simon

"A winner is just a loser who tried one more time"

Edited by Simon E
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Welcome Simon, just like you I deleted the accounts of a Mobile Moba I used to play. 

It is very important to follow the steps and tools that Cam has given us which are:

  • Deleting Games and accounts
  • Journal
  • Accountability Partner
  • Seinfield Method
  • Asking yourself why you want to stop and your goals (very important! when you feel like giving up this will help you keep strong)
  • Web Browser filters K-9 and Google Chrome extension Stayfocusd

While this is enough to get you busy I will give you some tips I have noticed during my very few days of Detox:

Start a working out regime of your choice (running, martial arts, lifting weights, dancing, etc)

Have a morning routine, for example: Stand up from bed, make your bed, take a shower, tackle your to-do list)

Have a night routine, for example: Suspend use of electronic Device, brush teeth, get pijamas, get in bed, grab a book.

If you want some extra inspiration google: "You are the result of yourself" By Pablo Neruda.

I hope to hear from you during the next 90 days.

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