everydayart Posted July 12, 2016 Posted July 12, 2016 Hi everyone!Did not know if I should post this small text wall in a journal or here as a presentation. Well, here goes… I’m a guy from Sweden nearing 35 years of age, with a heavy lifetime gaming habit that I am trying to get rid of. I bought the Game Quitters Elite pack 3 days ago to make my most sincere effort yet to begin a new life, step by step, because I can not play games in moderation in any sense of the word. Worth mentioning is that I also have a easy time getting addicted to other things such as the Internet, binging on movies/t v-series and other digital entertainment.I have been gaming since I was about 4 years old. It began with a Atari home console that I used to play on alone and sometimes with my Mother (she liked it because the controls where simple for most games, just one button and a stick if I remember correctly, that was the first and only console she played). After that I have owned most consoles and some gaming dedicated computers. Mostly played by myself my first gaming decade until gaming became a bit more social for me.Up until my mid twenties I was content with blowing time, energy and money on gaming. I literally played through thousands of games (done some lists now and then to keep track).But...This has lead to some heavy opportunity costs in many other areas of my life (which I did not realize when I was young), and I have steadily developed a lack of willpower for other things, and heavy procrastination habits.I started to recognize that it was a problem at 27 and that life had more to offer. Today when I play I always feel disappointed with myself that I haven’t gotten further since those realizations and not taking hold of all the opportunities and privileges I have been given in life, making something better of myself.I also have a lot of projects I want to work on in my own pace, but I have seen year after year just disappear. Thinking about doing those projects, instead of acting on them, and just spent time on yet another digital entertainment experience. Sometimes running into pretty heavy depressions. Always justifying yet another game, random Internet session or movie binge.One of the many reasons I have gamed is to focus my attention on something concrete in a world that to me has seemed to tough and overwhelming at times. And that in combination with lots of the enjoyment I got from digital adventure experiences has kept me going for far to long. Also I am a fairly introverted and need time alone now and then to regain energy, which has made gaming yet another easy alternative.The last two-three years I have been able to counter the gaming and entertainment addiction gradually a bit more. Trying to challenge myself in different areas (traveling for the first time to Asia, reducing my possessions to merely a backpack and some extra bags with art materials, meet a great girl friend at a art school, more systematically begun to eat better and move a bit more).So beginning this year I managed to go without gaming for half a year (and that felt great), but I relapsed after watching all the 2016 E3 game conferences this June and began playing games on my computer (giving all kinds of justifications for the behavior as usual). So for a month now I have been gaming and falling back on old habits. But now I have deleted my accounts to all gaming services (again), and all games are deleted. I am also trying to put heavy restrictions and form new habits to counteract my other heavy addictions to the Internet and entertainment that took over a bit when gaming was not a option.So this is my latest attempt, and I am very optimistic that this time I will get the ball rolling to really create a new life. Focusing more on creativity, learning and experiencing life first-hand, and less on consuming entertainment to feel good and live in alternate realties.I am here to find a community that I can turn to in those times things feel extra though, and also to maybe be of some help in some way.Thanks for letting me be part of what seems to be a great forum and a excellent movement, and hope you survived the rant
Cam Adair Posted July 12, 2016 Posted July 12, 2016 Welcome! We're happy you're here with us and thanks for purchasing Respawn Elite. Really means a lot!
everydayart Posted July 13, 2016 Author Posted July 13, 2016 Thanks! Respawn has been great resource so far, the worksheets are really useful. Working through Chapter 5 right now, taking my time with each worksheet, returning to them multiple times to get new insights and fill in additional ideas and toughts.I will set up a simple journal before the end of the week
Kad Posted July 13, 2016 Posted July 13, 2016 (edited) Welcome to the journey! It is awesome that you quit for 6 months before and that shows you are successful and just need to modify abit! The respawn and Cam's vids really helped with ideas and distraction during the first weeks of knuckle biting phase! I can not emphasize enough the importance of activities, setting goals and new habits. It will feel uncomfortable at first but that is the stuff that will keep you off games and make your life so rich you don't want to go back to games! Journaling will help keep you in touch with what is really going on in your head so you can address your needs that might trigger a relapse. The book "The power of habit" gives awesome information on how to start changing your life especially if you are prone to addictions as you state. I have learned with myself that the need to escape into an addiction (gaming, smoking, overeating, alcohol, whatever) is a sign that more robust coping mechanisms need to be developed because life will happen. So what is your plan to deal with stress? Gym time? positive self-talk to get you through? a walk? Journaling to get perspective? Make a plan, did it work? does it need to be improved..it is a journey. Life is the best game! Edited July 13, 2016 by Kad
usernameforworldpeace! Posted July 13, 2016 Posted July 13, 2016 Hi @everydayart, welcome to the forums!! I enjoyed reading your story, look forward to hearing next chapter in your journal!
everydayart Posted July 14, 2016 Author Posted July 14, 2016 @usernameforworldpeace! Thanks I will make my journal a weekly thing mostly (will begin this weekend), trying to focus all of my time on activities right now and keep my internet usage pretty limited.@SpiNips Hej Nice to be here too!
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