this will be boring

[DuckyMcDuck]

Day 1

I am not sure why I am doing this (the journal) or if I will keep updating but I just thought it would be interesting to see how the days passed (assuming anything changes).

Anyway, let's start with initial motive for starting: exams and hard ones at that. I think I use(d) gaming to escape the very unpleasant college subjects (also very useless but I need the diploma ) so I need to stop wasting that much time. I assume the habit will be replaced with others which is something I need to mitigate fast. Assumption was proven right today by reddit. I think I will need a limit reddit system soon, probably starting it tomorrow or on Monday.

Anyway, first day notes :

-very small cravings + a small nap. LOTS of reddit and music but I figure it's just the first day and I may as well not go all out.

 

Considering the reason I game so much (escapism) I suspect this may actually be easier for me than it was for others IF I manage to get past the studying part and pass the exams this month. Assuming the first month is passed the others will probably be a joke so this journal should end after day 30 or so (hopefully).

Right now I KNOW there isn't anything that could make me game again this month, I am actually quite curious to see if that will change and I was truly addicted or, again, just trying to escape reality. I did game for about 6+ hours a day so sheer repetition could very well have caused addiction. I am seriously considering going back to reading books  but then again, exams. This will truly suck thanks to the study part. Anyway, really curious to see how my spirits change during the next few weeks (the main reason I decided to write this).

Edit note:

when I say I WILL do this from the first try i mean it, I've been forced by fate to do worse than this (stop playing any games, stop most tv shows etc, it's how I discovered reddit actually) and basically be forced to spend months on my shitty phone for anything online while being a rather unwelcoming place so I absolutely know how bad this could turn (for reference it was by far the worst year of my life). Only difference is this time it's my choice and the food I eat won't send me to the hospital

Oh well here goes nothing

Edited May 7, 2016 by DuckyMcDuck

[Dannigan]

Welcome DuckyMcLucky. 

Looking forward to reading your progress. 

[Cam Adair]

Hey! Welcome to the forums. For studying have you followed Thomas Frank at all? 

[DuckyMcDuck]

Hey! Welcome to the forums. For studying have you followed Thomas Frank at all? 

Not really, I will look into him later. Again, the main problem is the subject(s) are really useless this semester and quite hard so I really don't want to learn them but I have to. Again, if I think the subject will ever help me I do not fail and I invest a good chunk of daily time despite (in the past) gaming. I simply used to shut up, do it, then game (even if the subject was hard for me).

Looked a bit into it, knew most of the stuff, it's the theory that's killing but I don't really worry, I will pass said exams since study is still advancing at a slow pace.

I will update the journal later today but so far no cravings for games (well nothing that would cause a problem).

At what day does the huge craving thing usually start ?

[Falky]

Welcome Duck

Good job on starting, do you have an end goal/date? It sounds like by your wording that your very hesitant about what you are doing. Sometimes having a definable goal helps a lot more when doing this detox.

Even after your 30 days, I would recommend keeping up with your journal still  It's good for the soul lol. Anyways best of luck!

Oh the cravings can be different for everyone, for me it was around the 2 week mark.

Edited May 8, 2016 by Falky

[DuckyMcDuck]

Welcome Duck

Good job on starting, do you have an end goal/date? It sounds like by your wording that your very hesitant about what you are doing. Sometimes having a definable goal helps a lot more when doing this detox.

I don't have a clear end goal. I just need to keep this up until my exams end then I will have to decide if it continues during the summer (probably) or not. Assuming it continues during the whole summer I will probably stop this the second a game I've been waiting for for about 10 years is released (this year). Ideally I'd stop when I get hired, which may be 6 months to a year but I doubt I have the fortitude to last that much

 

Guess I may as well update now:

DAY 2

Today I had no game cravings overall despite being pretty bored. I had to study, it was very boring for the most part, If I had the option I'd have played out of sheer boredom. Managed to get more work done because of this than in the last week and I am still going to do it for a few hours. While the work is sub par I think it will either improve or it will have to be enough. Definitely should have started this a couple weeks earlier but late is better than never. I wonder if this is productivity thing will continue or I will manage to procrastinate more somehow (tried to avoid this to a certain extent, not really working myself up about it that much, small steps).I can definitely see this being a huge factor in my work ethic over the summer and leading to me getting a job in the future (assuming I manage to keep it up). One problem though: I really need new hobbies or things will turn nasty in the next few weeks

 

One last edit before sleep : 

For weeks I've always dreaded sleep since I was ALWAYS disapointed with my effort during the day. Today I can finally rest without being angry/miserable at myself. I fucking missed this

Edited May 8, 2016 by DuckyMcDuck

[Mert Gunes]

Hey again DuckyMcDuck. I see that you are in an exam period and a struggle to study for boring subjects while not playing games. Been there! This has happened to me many, many times. In fact, I failed in my first year because of games. Actually, the fear of failing again was enough to push me through all my exams and I am now in my final semester. But I am not saying you need to fail first 

The biggest recommendation I can give to you is to go to the library (or similar place) to study. No matter how inconvenient it may be to study there all day, a library has helped me get so much studying done. The fact that everyone else around you is studying motivates you and helps you focus. Definitely consider going to a library if you aren't already. Good luck!

Edited May 8, 2016 by Mert Gunes

[gankylosaurus]

 

Considering the reason I game so much (escapism) I suspect this may actually be easier for me than it was for others IF I manage to get past the studying part and pass the exams this month. Assuming the first month is passed the others will probably be a joke so this journal should end after day 30 or so (hopefully).

Right now I KNOW there isn't anything that could make me game again this month, I am actually quite curious to see if that will change and I was truly addicted or, again, just trying to escape reality. I did game for about 6+ hours a day so sheer repetition could very well have caused addiction. I am seriously considering going back to reading books  but then again, exams. This will truly suck thanks to the study part. Anyway, really curious to see how my spirits change during the next few weeks (the main reason I decided to write this).

 

Escapism isn't a bad reason to game, to be honest. It's the same reason people read books or watch movies.

However, 6+ hours a day isn't simply addiction: That's conditioning. An old roommate explained to me the purpose behind boot camp usually being about six weeks long. It takes three weeks to break habits, and three more weeks to establish new ones. So, six total, with a bit of overlap in those three weeks.

Try to set a routine, or something you have to do every day. If you can ignore your gaming habit, and keep up with something you promise to do for yourself, then you'll build up that new habit while breaking the old one. So shoot for at least six weeks, rather than just 30 days. I know your main concern is school for now, but you also like to read (which is another great way to escape) so do more of that when you're not studying anymore.

Personally, about four days into this challenge, I set a challenge to write for 30 minutes a day. I'm now on day 33 of that challenge, and it's been the best decision of my life. So find what you truly need to do for your life and make that a priority.

Good luck! I'll probably be following closely.

[Cam Adair]

Good job on your second day. The key is that you're being aware of how you feel and that's a positive sign. 

Last year I had to go through a bunch of bullshit to get my U.S. Visa. Let me just say, it was 3 months of working on a project every day that 99% of the time I thought was bullshit and a complete waste of my time - other than a bunch of red tape I had to get through in order to get my visa. For most of my life, I've never been able to do this sort of thing. I couldn't even get through high school!

So I was procrastinating on it a lot, and what ultimately helped me be able to push through was to focus less on what I was doing and more about how it was helping me. So instead of seeing each task as a waste of time, I saw it as a way for me to improve my discipline. To complete a big project - regardless of its content. And I can say now, not only am I living in California because of it (which is awesome), but more so, it helped me a lot with my work ethic, discipline and ability to focus and follow through. It's helped me a lot with things like being able to get a big project like Respawn done (3 months of work itself), and now as I work on writing my book (massive project), I'm more confident I can complete it as well.

So instead of focusing on the uselessness of what you have to study, focus more on how you are developing important intangible skills by doing it.

[DuckyMcDuck]

Ok so I am ready to update the day.

 

Day 3

 

Can't say I did much work today but what I know for sure is that with gaming I'd have found excuses to not even do this much. Also, I am currently finishing a bunch of lessons that are critical for my exams so once I finish those (in a few hours max) I will have made a huge advancement which is pretty much perfect. Yes, this could have gone faster, but the speed is still, I think, acceptable. I won't get an A but I should be able to pass if i reach the other 2-3 cornerstones (like this one). Best part is they build on each other so this will really help prepare me for what's about to follow.

Also, no huge gaming urge today either, nor any fap abuse as some people seem to have reported in the past (I may have misread). I probably abuse reddit the most followed by youtube but work is definitely being done despite that. Truth be told they help me relax quite a bit.

 

Also, regarding the close pc go to a library and study suggestions : I study Computer Science, I pretty much depend on being online/on my pc to study.

 

Edit: no idea wtf is happening but I almost fell asleep and it's like 21:00. I usually can't sleep before 1 in the morning

 

2nd edit: stelaris just released, I can't play it, this is crushing

Edited May 9, 2016 by DuckyMcDuck

[Mert Gunes]

2nd edit: stelaris just released, I can't play it, this is crushing

Hang in there buddy, you are stronger than the temptation.

[DuckyMcDuck]

2nd edit: stelaris just released, I can't play it, this is crushing

Hang in there buddy, you are stronger than the temptation.

I am but for a second I thought: gg no re. I just promised to myself I will last at least 30 days to 90. I mean paradox WILL release a shitload of packs in about a year that will change the game completely and atm it's probably a buggy mess. Anyway, the timing just sucked.

On the good side I don't see how it can get worse than this (well there is the 10 year game I am waiting for) and I've already convinced myself not to install (it still sucks as a feeling but I will get over it).

Anyway, thanks for the support

Edited May 9, 2016 by DuckyMcDuck

[Mert Gunes]

Yes the timing is bad indeed. Just remember that Stelaris will still be there if you want to play it later, but you won't have a second chance with your exams.

[Cam Adair]

There will always be another game, another pack, etc, etc, etc. When I quit SC2 came out after I was waiting for it for a decade. Never played it. Never cared tbh. It was just time for me to move on to a new chapter in my life.

[DuckyMcDuck]

There will always be another game, another pack, etc, etc, etc. When I quit SC2 came out after I was waiting for it for a decade. Never played it. Never cared tbh. It was just time for me to move on to a new chapter in my life.

Yes, and the "there will always be another game" part is good in my eyes, if one manages to control himself (otherwise gaming would be boring). Some games are very much like books (I haven't played those in a pretty long time but the one I am waiting for will pretty much be the size of a book) while others can be quite artistic. All the respect for those who want to quit for good but video games are not "bad" in my eyes, they just have the potential to be so if we lack discipline/focus.
Anyway, I have the same mentality for most things in life except for hard drugs (where I simply think your average person, me included, would simply have their will crushed)

[DuckyMcDuck]

Ok time to update

 

Day 4

 

Still thinking about the game from yesterday. Keep finding excuses. I won't touch it till day 30 at least but it's a really intrusive thought which is annoying to say the least. The reason may actually not be gaming though, it may just be extreme boredom given by the courses I have to finish (lots of re-reading stuff and looking for details ). Said courses are going to be very difficult after I get past the boring part so there is that too (total mindfuck). I think I am just very bored, maybe getting tired, and really not in the mood to reach the difficult subjects so, again, this may not be gaming just my mind defaulting on the easy stuff I used to replace this with. I can't wait to get trough the boring part (may still take a day or two sadly but working at this pace it will be over sooner rather than later) and see if there's any difference once I reach the mindfuck stuff. Then there's the "after" part where I will have a period of relaxation after the exams (hopefully) which would again be interesting for me to observe. Also I come to this site way to often to procrastinate in between lessons (short breaks truth be told, they may actually allow me just enough time to get ready for the next lesson) so I need to make this more rare.

I need to take up jogging again asap (sadly the park near me is in ruins thanks to a corrupt moronic mayor who should rot in hell so my "rejuvenation place" is shattered). This reminds me, can't wait to start webdev stuff again and actually do what I like. Fuck this mind numbing material I am forced to read. Speaking of which : frustration is building but again, I don't think it's due to my vacation from gaming (could be, as stated can't wait to see how things change in the next few weeks).

[SundayMiharu]

Hi. I'm bored right now. 

Are you procrastinating right now?

 

Is it not possible to devise another course for your jog? The problem is just the park, and it's not really a problem as you can jog anywhere?

 

[DuckyMcDuck]

Hi. I'm bored right now. 

Are you procrastinating right now?

 

Is it not possible to devise another course for your jog? The problem is just the park, and it's not really a problem as you can jog anywhere?

 

I could probably find another route if I wanted to get in better shape but would I enjoy it ? No. That park was quite unique and pretty big. As a relaxing tool it's really irreplaceable 

[SundayMiharu]

Mm... you're really sure about it huh.

What can you do to solve the problem? to get that park up and running again? Is there nothing you can do (with or without support of the community around you)?

 

 

[DuckyMcDuck]

Mm... you're really sure about it huh.

What can you do to solve the problem? to get that park up and running again? Is there nothing you can do (with or without support of the community around you)?

 

 

I can wait. Local elections are coming so they will probably speed the disaster that's called "renovation" and hopefully open it again soon. The mayor pretty much destroyed a national wonder and the only (true) green space in the whole city so I am not exactly happy about it. (no other mayor touched this park before, this is the first who decided to steal by renovating it)

[SundayMiharu]

mm...

Let's see then. So, you want to jog in this condition anyway? ASAP kinda notes the urgency tone...

Hope you get good mayor. If not, you can make petition for recovering the green space?

[DuckyMcDuck]

mm...

Let's see then. So, you want to jog in this condition anyway? ASAP kinda notes the urgency tone...

Hope you get good mayor. If not, you can make petition for recovering the green space?

well it's pretty important for my general relaxation/pent up energy. That aside I am quite amazed with how far I've come in those four days. I am pretty sure I can actually pass my exams with a bit more effort. It used to be that I thought I am really fucked. Now I think that in a week (and I have quite a bit more time) I can absolutely pass so there is that to celebrate

[Cam Adair]

Went for a jog today myself. Felt way better afterwards. Most of the day before that I was feeling realllllyyy bad physically. Running helped a lot.

[DuckyMcDuck]

Day 5

 

Managed to run today (had to pass a sports class), was tired, didn't really learn much but a day off isn't too bad, I just need to re-focus tomorrow. Can't wait to reach JS and make interactive stuff during the summer but that aside:

- little gaming craving, pretty much same stuff as before in regards of excuses made in my head.

Assuming I get that jog thing sorted out and pass my exams this summer could prove quite easy to pass trough (and I don't really fear a re-lapse assuming I realize in time, I could always do another 30+ days). 

This is a really nice break

[Cam Adair]

Good job going for a run!