22 year old addict with very bad Social Skills

[j3vz]

Hello everyone. I have been addicted to League of Legends and porn for 10 years. I am starting a new journey now since I just graduated college and became a Software Engineer. College was supposed to be where you make "lifelong" friends, have fun partying, go to many events, etc. But for me this wasn't the case. The only people that I hanged out with were other Engineering majors who were also socially awkward and didn't like going out. My entire routine for 4 years was Study, Classes, Video Games and Porn at night. So basically almost my entire life has been in front of a screen. Coding --> Gaming --> Porn. I'm a virgin and I have never been on a date. I've never even kiss or held hands with a woman. The fact that I missed out on those is killing me because I am already out of college and I have to put in extra effort now to meet people/women. Now my old friends don't contact me anymore since they are also out of school and moved to other cities. The only leverage I have right now to save my Social life and experience more things in the real world is my job. I get paid pretty well so I'm going to continue to learn more about coding, etc. And use that money to go to events and meet people. I have also started buying healthy foods and going to the gym. I ate burgers and cup noodles almost everyday in college therefore I look like shit.

[Amphibian220]

Welcome to game quitters, consider it your virtual proving grounds, your ticket to life.

From my experience, there is an inherent weakness in this platform: there is nobody there to enforce your discipline except yourself. Nobody to punish you except yourself if you lie or cheat. This website is only going to work for you if you practice self accountability, and complement journaling with support in real life like therapy, safe people whom you can trust and open up about your problems.

What this website does offer is valuable information about yours and other people’s mistakes. When you read journals you can see why other people have failed, what worked for them and what did not work. You can get support on here that will help you change your life.

Just like top universities can be pointless if you don't take advantage of the benefits offered, a website like this is going to be pointless if you don’t systematically approach recovery and make good use of it.

If you have been addicted to P for 10 years, that means you have been addicted from a very young age. That particular society where you grew up had failed in protecting you. You have got motivation there of changing it for the better and destroying this sucker meta physically. The rest of the recovery process will come easier.

In a short introduction, men are becoming emasculated from repressing their qualities of strength, bravery, initiative, dominance. Since weak, cowardly, indecisive, loser is becoming more widespread, it is very hard to have success.

wish you a good pace of recovery, and never feel weak to confront dishonesty.

 

Edited September 28, 2023 by Amphibian220

[FDRx7]

1 hour ago, Amphibian220 said:

From my experience, there is an inherent weakness in this platform: there is nobody there to enforce your discipline except yourself. Nobody to punish you except yourself if you lie or cheat.

As a side note, I wonder if this is something to be proposed for the forum? Maybe a new section where members can sign up to have an accountability partner and for a certain duration of time? That would make it feel more acceptable to check in on someone and ensure they are following through (without seeming too intrusive). That, or receive a senior member as an accountability partner. I think this is done informally now, but for those who want a more formal accountability structure, it might be worth considering. Not a perfect system since it is online, but help.

[Cam Adair]

On 9/28/2023 at 7:30 PM, FDRx7 said:

As a side note, I wonder if this is something to be proposed for the forum? Maybe a new section where members can sign up to have an accountability partner and for a certain duration of time? That would make it feel more acceptable to check in on someone and ensure they are following through (without seeming too intrusive). That, or receive a senior member as an accountability partner. I think this is done informally now, but for those who want a more formal accountability structure, it might be worth considering. Not a perfect system since it is online, but help.

Tried it before but the section wasn't used enough to keep it. Definitely is something you can post about and ask if anyone wants to be accountability partners together.