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Daniel G's Journal


DanielG

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A now rare day-of journal!

Another good day off. I slept in a bit to rest up from the active day before. I wanted to go to the gym, and I had a random urge to go to a yoga class, as it has been a few weeks since I went to one. I walked to the gym and ended up doing a bit of core/back/shoulders. It went well, and I ran into a guy who trained with my cousin's husband a while back. We had a pleasant conversation and went on our merry ways. I also spotted the personal trainer that I am planning on working with, but I ran out of time so I did not stop to say hi to her.

I rushed over to yoga. The class was grounding, it was a 'flow' class, so it was less holding postures for extended periods of time and more about moving between postures in a slow and controlled manner. Still, I was able to focus on my breathing for the most part, and remain present throughout the practice. Our teacher was the owner of the studio, and he and I had a pleasant conversation after class.

When I got home, I had a quick, late lunch consisting of hummus, cucumbers, and cottage cheese. I decided I wanted to do some reading, so I headed out to a coffee shop with some books in tow. I ordered an Americano and parked in a corner spot, and read a few chapters of Living Untethered: Beyond the Human Predicament. It went into relatable and specific detail about the noise of our minds, the idea of energy (spirit, chi, shakti) in spirituality, and how some our of past experiences that we hold onto can block the flow of this energy. I also read the chapter on Step 11 out of the 12 and 12 (an AA book). Part of the passage contains St. Francis' prayer, which is always a good one to read.

Upon my return home, I put the burritos in the oven like my mom had asked me to via text while at the coffee shop. They're homemade and quite delicious! I had two. After eating, my mom and her boyfriend went out to see Oppenheimer and I went on an e-bike ride. Now I'm here, writing an early journal 😄 .

One Thing That Went Well Today:

I held my intention throughout my yoga practice.

Gratitude:

I am grateful for my sobriety. It is the most important thing I do every day.
I am grateful for inspiring sights. Since I'm an imperfect being, it takes a bit more for me to become inspired by my surroundings at times. Still, I am grateful for those experiences when they happen.
I am grateful for my sense of taste. It lets me enjoy all sorts of cool flavours.

2 Hours of Productivity:

No.

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Wednesday journal on Thursday.

It was a good day yesterday. It was my first shift opening the kitchen by myself, I couldn't find some of the light switches 😆 other than that I got the equipment on with no issue. The day itself was relatively busy, so it went by fairly quick. After work, I read a book and had a coffee at Credo. Then, I went to the gym. When I got back home, I relaxed and watched some Netflix. My mom made some chicken nuggets for dinner, so that was pretty good lol. I also had my meeting with Cam, which went well. All in all, positive day.

One Thing That Went Well Today:

First day opening the kitchen by myself went well.

Gratitude:

I am grateful for language. It helps us understand and connect with each other.
I am grateful for my family. It's nice to have supportive people in my life.
I am grateful for our planet. The pale blue dot, the unlikely circumstances that lead to our existence. Pretty crazy.

2 Hours of Productivity:

Yes.

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19 hours ago, DanielG said:

One Thing That Went Well Today:

First day opening the kitchen by myself went well.

Gratitude:

I am grateful for language. It helps us understand and connect with each other.
I am grateful for my family. It's nice to have supportive people in my life.
I am grateful for our planet. The pale blue dot, the unlikely circumstances that lead to our existence. Pretty crazy.

Opening/closing up shop is a huge honour IMO, nice 😛 

I'd love to say the same wholeheartedly for that gratitude - incidentally, did you mean to say 'lead', or perhaps 'led' hahaha

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Thursday and Friday Journal on Saturday.

Both days I opened the kitchen, and both days I got some exercise in. Dancing lessons and a gym workout respectively. I was pretty tired on Thursday so I had an hour and a half nap after work. I also picked up my new glasses! Increased vision, and style 😛 . I got caught in the rain on Friday, so I read a big chunk of Living Untethered, the spiritual/self-help book I've been reading, at a coffee shop. I just finished it this morning actually, since I had time this morning (evening shift today). Fairly good couple of days. Already a bit tired though, and still have another 5 work shifts to go lol. Let's do it!

One Thing That Went Well Today:

Work continues to be good.

Gratitude:

I am grateful for the sun. The light and warmth it provides.
I am grateful for my spiritual journey. It's been the most meaningful thing I've done in my life.
I am grateful for my new glasses. They let me see better.

2 Hours of Productivity:

Yes.

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Saturday journal, Sunday morning. I went for brunch with my cousin and her family which was fun! Delicious food at a place called MEAT (they didn't have their brunch menu at the time, but it was still really good). After, I went for a bike ride. By the time I got back, I had to get ready for work and headed to my first evening shift. It was a bit hectic but we made it through. Definitely starting to feel tired, and I still have another 4 shifts to go lol. We can do it!

One Thing That Went Well Today:

Closed the kitchen with my trainer 😄

Gratitude:

I am grateful for pressed cottage cheese. Condensed protein 😛
I am grateful for these fitness tracking apps. They let me get a better picture into my fitness.
I am grateful for the internet. It has its weird spots, but there's a lot of useful things to find.

2 Hours of Productivity:

Yes.

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Sunday journal, Monday morning.

The day went well. I caught part of the morning men's meeting before heading to work. Even though it was somewhat busy compared to other days, the lady training me said that it was actually quite slow for a Sunday, lol. After work, I chilled at Starbucks with a coffee to wait for the bus. There were some loose plans to hangout with my friends. My mom also let me know that our neighbour from down the street wanted to go out for Japanese food. I also had to work early the next day, so I had to consider that if I wanted to go to both. Dinner was delicious, surprisingly their smashburger was my favourite part of the meal, but it ended up running later than I expected. I decided to not hangout with my friends so I could get enough rest for work. Chill enough Sunday. I also hit my first weight goal (sub-200 lbs.) yesterday too. The Japanese food pushed me back over it though lol, but I'm confident I'll keep on making progress.

One Thing That Went Well Today:

Dinner went well 😄

Gratitude:

I am grateful for delicious Japanese food.
I am grateful for beautiful morning skies.
I am grateful for the words of encouragement from others.

2 Hours of Productivity:

Yes.

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12 hours ago, DanielG said:

Sunday journal, Monday morning.

The day went well. I caught part of the morning men's meeting before heading to work. Even though it was somewhat busy compared to other days, the lady training me said that it was actually quite slow for a Sunday, lol. After work, I chilled at Starbucks with a coffee to wait for the bus. There were some loose plans to hangout with my friends. My mom also let me know that our neighbour from down the street wanted to go out for Japanese food. I also had to work early the next day, so I had to consider that if I wanted to go to both. Dinner was delicious, surprisingly their smashburger was my favourite part of the meal, but it ended up running later than I expected. I decided to not hangout with my friends so I could get enough rest for work. Chill enough Sunday. I also hit my first weight goal (sub-200 lbs.) yesterday too. The Japanese food pushed me back over it though lol, but I'm confident I'll keep on making progress.

One Thing That Went Well Today:

Dinner went well 😄

Gratitude:

I am grateful for delicious Japanese food.
I am grateful for beautiful morning skies.
I am grateful for the words of encouragement from others.

2 Hours of Productivity:

Yes.

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Hey, what's the meaning of these pics that make me drool, huh ?! 😁 Just kidding. You try to lose weight from those greasy sauce & salty fries ?

I am trying to gain weight. I think I am under weight, you might call it anorexia, but a less horrified version. 

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1 minute ago, Shonnasen The Light said:

Hey, what's the meaning of these pics that make me drool, huh ?! 😁 Just kidding. You try to lose weight from those greasy sauce & salty fries ?

I am trying to gain weight. I think I am under weight, you might call it anorexia, but a less horrified version. 

 

12 hours ago, DanielG said:

Sunday journal, Monday morning.

The day went well. I caught part of the morning men's meeting before heading to work. Even though it was somewhat busy compared to other days, the lady training me said that it was actually quite slow for a Sunday, lol. After work, I chilled at Starbucks with a coffee to wait for the bus. There were some loose plans to hangout with my friends. My mom also let me know that our neighbour from down the street wanted to go out for Japanese food. I also had to work early the next day, so I had to consider that if I wanted to go to both. Dinner was delicious, surprisingly their smashburger was my favourite part of the meal, but it ended up running later than I expected. I decided to not hangout with my friends so I could get enough rest for work. Chill enough Sunday. I also hit my first weight goal (sub-200 lbs.) yesterday too. The Japanese food pushed me back over it though lol, but I'm confident I'll keep on making progress.

One Thing That Went Well Today:

Dinner went well 😄

Gratitude:

I am grateful for delicious Japanese food.
I am grateful for beautiful morning skies.
I am grateful for the words of encouragement from others.

2 Hours of Productivity:

Yes.

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good luck, bro. Let's change together 😇

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7 hours ago, Shonnasen The Light said:

Hey, what's the meaning of these pics that make me drool, huh ?! 😁 Just kidding. You try to lose weight from those greasy sauce & salty fries ?

I am trying to gain weight. I think I am under weight, you might call it anorexia, but a less horrified version. 

I have to treat myself every now and again 😛

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Monday journal on Tuesday.

Yesterday was another good day. Work was slow, so I got off at the scheduled time. I went to the gym for a workout after work. I also went out to buy the book we're going to be reading for the men's group, "The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph" by Ryan Holiday. While I was there I also looked for a cookbook I've been meaning to pick up, The Flavour Bible, but they didn't have it. I might order it off Amazon using the gift card I have coming in the mail (using reward points from my Visa card). I went to bed really early since I was exhausted.

One Thing That Went Well Today:

Dinner went well 😄

Gratitude:

I am grateful for horn instruments, like the trumpet and saxaphones. They have a cool sound to them.
I am grateful for sunny weather. It's fun to be outside when it's like this.
I am grateful for the overall sense of well-being I enjoy today. It's pretty cool.

2 Hours of Productivity:

Yes.

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Tuesday journal on Wednesday.

The day off was nice after working 6 days in a row. Originally my schedule was going to be 8 days in a row, but my work changed it, which I am thankful for. The day itself was fairly chill. I planned to get a suit jacket, tie, and pair of shoes for the wedding coming up next week (I found a nice shirt and pants already). When I got to the consignment store, they weren't opening for another hour or so. So, I went to Iconoclast to have a cold brew coffee and read the new book I picked up the day before to kill some time. First impressions of the book are good; it's well-written, and I learned a new word, inculcate. The definition Google gave me is: instill (an attitude, idea, or habit) by persistent instruction. Nifty!

After my coffee, I headed back to the consignment store, Lux, and looked at suit jackets. The guy working at the store was quite helpful and picked out some nice ones for me to try, as well as some ties to go with it. He let me put the stuff I liked on hold while I recruited my mom to carry the precious cargo back in her car. So, I headed home to go get my mom.

When I got back home, I talked to my mom about getting the stuff from the consignment store. She said we already had suits, and went upstairs to look for a complete suit. It had been tucked away and ended up fitting really well. So, I only needed the shoes and the tie. We went back to Lux. My mom felt like celebrating my success yesterday, so she paid for the tie and shoes, paid for the pants to be hemmed, as well as purchased a soccer ball for me 😄 . The latter two we went to a mall to do. While we were there, she also tried on some clothes 😆 . Ultimately, she didn't get anything. I picked up a daily journal with prompts and a trio of cheap books, though! Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, The Art of War by Sun Tzu, and How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. So now I have a big backlog of books to read, hehe. I asked my mom to drop me off at a nearby field to try out my new soccer ball, which she did. She went home to visit with her friend.

The field was closed to the public, lol. Ah well. I found a strip of grass near the bike path a few blocks down the main road that worked well enough and kicked the ball around. I know it probably seems a bit depressing, just some random guy kicking a ball around by himself, but it was good fun for me 😆. I headed back after some time and visited with my mom's friend as well. I showed her my new books and new shoes. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius in particular reminded her of her brother, who passed away a couple years ago from complications due to Covid. We always have good conversations, and it was good to spend time with her. She left after a while.

Visiting done, I decided to do my regular bike route through the river valley. It was a solid ride. I managed to reign in my monkey brain enough to enjoy the scenery, sounds, and smells around me. I also made a decent pace on certain stretches, which was cool. Climbing up out of the river valley wasn't too bad either. I remember when I couldn't really even do it 3 months ago. The ride was over an hour long and roughly 22km. I'm happy with the pace, though I think it would be cool to hit an average of 20km/h for the whole ride.

When I got back home, I decided to go kick the ball around again, which was still quite fun. When I got back, my mom had finished making dinner: pork schnitzel with mushrooms sauce. The sauce was homemade and delicious. The pork had good flavour but wasn't crispy; it wasn't my mom's fault, the store bought schnitzel seemed lower quality than normal. Lots of fat lol.

After dinner I read the intro and wrote in the Five Minute journal. I'm hopeful having the prompts and stuff will keep me on track, and the shorter format will keep me more consistent compared to this journal. I still want to make time for both, though. I believe having this freeform one helps me reflect on my day and express myself a more than just the short prompts. I am probably going to just use the same gratitudes between to the two, though 😛 .

One Thing That Went Well Today:

I had a good bike ride today.

Gratitude:

I am grateful for the honesty and forthrightness people can exhibit. I admire and respect when people are candid with each other.
I am grateful for my sobriety from alcohol and video games (and all other drugs). Without these things, my spirit is free to grow, so many opportunities and gifts come into my life.
I am grateful for the beautiful world that surrounds us. There are so many interesting and wonderful sights, sounds, and smells that we can pay attention to.

2 Hours of Productivity:

No.

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10 hours ago, DanielG said:

Tuesday journal on Wednesday.

The day off was nice after working 6 days in a row. Originally my schedule was going to be 8 days in a row, but my work changed it, which I am thankful for. The day itself was fairly chill. I planned to get a suit jacket, tie, and pair of shoes for the wedding coming up next week (I found a nice shirt and pants already). When I got to the consignment store, they weren't opening for another hour or so. So, I went to Iconoclast to have a cold brew coffee and read the new book I picked up the day before to kill some time. First impressions of the book are good; it's well-written, and I learned a new word, inculcate. The definition Google gave me is: instill (an attitude, idea, or habit) by persistent instruction. Nifty!

After my coffee, I headed back to the consignment store, Lux, and looked at suit jackets. The guy working at the store was quite helpful and picked out some nice ones for me to try, as well as some ties to go with it. He let me put the stuff I liked on hold while I recruited my mom to carry the precious cargo back in her car. So, I headed home to go get my mom.

When I got back home, I talked to my mom about getting the stuff from the consignment store. She said we already had suits, and went upstairs to look for a complete suit. It had been tucked away and ended up fitting really well. So, I only needed the shoes and the tie. We went back to Lux. My mom felt like celebrating my success yesterday, so she paid for the tie and shoes, paid for the pants to be hemmed, as well as purchased a soccer ball for me 😄 . The latter two we went to a mall to do. While we were there, she also tried on some clothes 😆 . Ultimately, she didn't get anything. I picked up a daily journal with prompts and a trio of cheap books, though! Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, The Art of War by Sun Tzu, and How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. So now I have a big backlog of books to read, hehe. I asked my mom to drop me off at a nearby field to try out my new soccer ball, which she did. She went home to visit with her friend.

The field was closed to the public, lol. Ah well. I found a strip of grass near the bike path a few blocks down the main road that worked well enough and kicked the ball around. I know it probably seems a bit depressing, just some random guy kicking a ball around by himself, but it was good fun for me 😆. I headed back after some time and visited with my mom's friend as well. I showed her my new books and new shoes. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius in particular reminded her of her brother, who passed away a couple years ago from complications due to Covid. We always have good conversations, and it was good to spend time with her. She left after a while.

Visiting done, I decided to do my regular bike route through the river valley. It was a solid ride. I managed to reign in my monkey brain enough to enjoy the scenery, sounds, and smells around me. I also made a decent pace on certain stretches, which was cool. Climbing up out of the river valley wasn't too bad either. I remember when I couldn't really even do it 3 months ago. The ride was over an hour long and roughly 22km. I'm happy with the pace, though I think it would be cool to hit an average of 20km/h for the whole ride.

When I got back home, I decided to go kick the ball around again, which was still quite fun. When I got back, my mom had finished making dinner: pork schnitzel with mushrooms sauce. The sauce was homemade and delicious. The pork had good flavour but wasn't crispy; it wasn't my mom's fault, the store bought schnitzel seemed lower quality than normal. Lots of fat lol.

After dinner I read the intro and wrote in the Five Minute journal. I'm hopeful having the prompts and stuff will keep me on track, and the shorter format will keep me more consistent compared to this journal. I still want to make time for both, though. I believe having this freeform one helps me reflect on my day and express myself a more than just the short prompts. I am probably going to just use the same gratitudes between to the two, though 😛 .

One Thing That Went Well Today:

I had a good bike ride today.

Gratitude:

I am grateful for the honesty and forthrightness people can exhibit. I admire and respect when people are candid with each other.
I am grateful for my sobriety from alcohol and video games (and all other drugs). Without these things, my spirit is free to grow, so many opportunities and gifts come into my life.
I am grateful for the beautiful world that surrounds us. There are so many interesting and wonderful sights, sounds, and smells that we can pay attention to.

2 Hours of Productivity:

No.

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So. Did you read "The obstacle is the way" ? that white book in your photo. I heard it is a good one. Do you recommend it ?

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21 hours ago, Shonnasen The Light said:

So. Did you read "The obstacle is the way" ? that white book in your photo. I heard it is a good one. Do you recommend it ?

I just started it! It's the book my Sunday morning men's group is reading together. First impressions are that it is well-written.

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Wednesday journal on Thursday.

I'm writing this after work, so I'm a little less collected and rested than normal. Wednesday was a good day, I went for a workout, biked to and from my mom's place to my cousin's place, watched some anime/hung out with my cousin + company, got a haircut, and had my meeting with Cam. Overall I felt pretty relaxed, occasionally some thoughts about work came up, which was fine, I noticed them and let them go.

While I was at my cousin's place, there was a moment where everyone else was on their phones and I was the only one really present in the room. I wasn't aware of any emotional response if there was one, I just thought it was an interesting observation. It's still nice to hang out with them, there is still that part of me that would want us to have more meaningful conversations about what's going on with us, not politics or hypothetical scenarios, nerd culture, etc. It's kind of old news at this point, though. Those kinds of conversations, while they can happen on occasion, are a rarity in my interactions with that particular group of people. And though I've made some attempts at fostering more meaningful, deeper conversations with others, it's still something I want more of in my life.

I think part of it is because I'm doing well. A lot of the time, when I engaged in those impactful conversations about emotions, spirituality, thoughts, behaviours etc., I was in a darker place. Or perhaps, I hadn't worked on a lot of it yet. It was easier to dredge up shitty things to talk about and relate to. I think for me, there's still an attachment to being in a bad place. Like, that comfortable feeling of knowing how something is supposed to go. That need for things to be in control. I feel like when I'm doing well, it's this precious thing that if I show it to people, or share my experience, I might jinx it, or that it will inflate my ego. Or any number of other rationalizations that I use to not openly express the gratitude and joy that I experience when I'm doing well. AA meetings are one of the few places that I don't get hindered by those thoughts and simply share what's in my heart. If I don't get caught up in my own head about having to come up with the "perfect" share.

Musings aside, my cousin did eventually pipe up and mention that we should do something, which was met with little interest at the time. Once her husband booked off work later on, and people got high, we did play a card game and watched anime. I am grateful my internal state is at a point where I'm quite often game to do things now, and do not have to rely on changing my mood in some way to be able to engage with life. Glass house, though. I'm still heavily reliant on coffee 😉.

I took my meeting with Cam at my cousin's place. We had a good conversation, and moving forward the 2 hours of productivity journal check-in will switch to 1 hour of reading a day, since I've been meaning to get more into that. Also, I'm going to be getting the ball rolling on getting my license back and getting my red seal for cooking.

One Thing That Went Well Today:

I feel like I was putting more reps in during my workout, and that I had more energy to complete the exercises.

Gratitude:

I am grateful for the calmness that comes to me when I focus on my breath.
I am grateful for the fun activities my body can do today.
I am grateful for the new shaker I got from the supplements store. It works really well!

1 Hour of Reading:

Nope.

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2 hours ago, DanielG said:

I just started it! It's the book my Sunday morning men's group is reading together. First impressions are that it is well-written.

That's great. I am reading Calnegie's "How to win friends..." haha. I probably will be in dating group activities in the future, with all sorts of men and women. I like pretty women, with intelligence 😊 

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On 8/3/2023 at 6:47 PM, Shonnasen The Light said:

That's great. I am reading Calnegie's "How to win friends..." haha. I probably will be in dating group activities in the future, with all sorts of men and women. I like pretty women, with intelligence 😊 

Nice, sounds like fun!

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Thursday + Friday journal

Thursday is a bit of a blur at the moment. Work went well. And I also went to salsa lessons, which also went well. It was the final lesson for the beginner's course.

Today's a bit more clear. I woke up a bit late so my morning routine wasn't as grounding as I would've liked, but I did still take the time to write in the Five Minute Journal. And, I had a good day at work again. I felt comfortable and confident in cooking, even when there were a few tables going on at the same time. I said goodbye to my main training person because she'll be off work for a little over a month. Her son is getting married and her sister is coming to visit from Australia, so she's taking the month off to spend time with family. She had final words of encouragement before she left which felt nice.

After work, I took a quick shower that felt quite refreshing. All fresh, I packed up my book and gym clothes to bring with me on my excursion out. I walked to Iconoclast, ordered an Americano, parked myself in a corner, and read some of The Obstacle is the Way. In the portion I read, the author cites a lot of different examples of people doing stuff to further his points across. What I remember from the passage of the book was that it's important to be able to maintain a cool head and that it's important to have clear and objective perspective.

Once I finished at the coffee shop, I went to the gym for a workout. Regular old strength training, today I focused on arms, back, and a teeny bit of chest. Workout completed, I began to walk home. I had a pretty big craving for chicken fingers, so I went to the local fried chicken shop and ordered some extra hot ones to go (delicious but very spicy!).  I didn't take a picture this time 😆. I asked about an award that they had hanging up and got a quick history lesson on the drag queen scene in Edmonton from the server, who was quite passionate and knowledgeable about the subject. Pretty neat! The chicken fingers came with a sweet tomato dip, similar to a salsa, and some mustard coleslaw. My mom had made some burgers and corn on the cob, so I opted to have some of the corn with my meal as well. Now I'm writing this journal out.

Oh, and the cookbook I ordered came in today! The Flavor Bible. Since I don't work until later in the evening tomorrow, I'm planning on making some pesto and seeing what kind of things I could make to accompany it. The cookbook focuses heavily on the complimentary pairing of different flavours, so I'll be referencing it for some inspiration!

One Thing That Went Well Today:

Thursday - Salsa was fun | Friday - The workout was quick and efficient 😄

Gratitude:

I am grateful for salt on food. Adds a lot of flavour.
I am grateful for the guy at the chicken shop today. I was glad that he shared some of his passion with me.
I am grateful for ice cold water. 😃

1 Hour of Reading:

Yep

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(Synthwave) Saturday journal on Sunday.

Yesterday was another day. I did stuff, like work, reading, and a bike ride. The end. 😆

The day went well. I slept a while to catch up on sleep. My mom, the dog, and I went on a walk. We also had a coffee together on the deck. It was quite pleasant 😄

After, I headed to Iconoclast for an Americano via bike to read some of the Obstacle book. I read up to the end of the first part of the book (of three, I believe). There were some parallels between what we learn in 12 Step, and mindfulness in general, which was neat. I rode off for a shorter jaunt through the river valley on my bike after.

I had been meaning to make some mint-basil pesto and fresh pasta for a while, and since I worked in the evening, I took the opportunity to do so. We have basil and mint plants growing in the backyard, so I used leaves from them. I had the pesto and pasta finished for dinner for my mom, her boyfriend, and a couple of my mom's cousins who were coming to stay for a couple days. I also roasted some pecans to go into the pasta, but it looks like they never made it in.

I got ready for work and hitched a ride with my mom. Work itself was pretty slow and chill. There was also a small banquet/party that had some leftover food we could help ourselves to, which I did. Scalloped potatoes and the roast ham were the highlights for sure. After work, I made a late appearance to a friend's 30th birthday party, which was fun. I got home later, and a bit hungry, so I had a leftover chicken breast, some cottage cheese, and a couple cookies my mom had baked. I then went to bed.

One Thing That Went Well Today:

Work was relaxed.

Gratitude:

I am grateful for the spirit of generosity. It's cool when people are giving of themselves.
I am grateful for synth-y vibes. It puts me in a good mood.
I am grateful for the compliment I received from a friend at the party. She said I had a glow, which was nifty lol.

1 Hour of Reading:

Yep

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Sunday journal on Monday.

Sunday was good! Work was pretty hectic in the morning, and then dead in the afternoon/early evening. I closed the kitchen by myself for the first time. I forgot to lock the front freezer, but other than that I got everything done properly I believe. After work I went to visit a friend who's visiting from Toronto. The friend's parents made a delicious barbecue meal with a few different salads, chicken, and burgers. Watermelon feta with mint and some balsamic reduction, a nice coleslaw with a light dressing and mint, mango mint guacamole, all homemade. I spent a lot of time talking with my friend's dad, who was really enthusiastic about food in general, and responsible for the delicious chicken and burgers.

One Thing That Went Well Today:

The barbecue was fun!

Gratitude:

I am grateful for my compassion for others and myself.
I am grateful for the men's group from BC. They are a good group of guys.
I am grateful for the willingness I have to do healthy things these days. I'm glad for it 😄

Reading:

No.

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Monday journal on Tuesday.

I went to Iconoclast in the morning to read and have an Americano. I opted to read some of the Bhagavad Gita. I went to the gym after and had a brief conversation about spirituality and philosophy with my buddy's old personal trainer. It was neat to talk to someone who has similar interests. I was tempted to ask him to check my form, but I opted to keep it a friendly conversation.

After the workout, I went back home to chill for a bit and get ready for the wedding I was going to. I chose to wear some contacts for fun. My discipline during the week paid off, I still fit quite nicely in an old high school suit. We couldn't figure out if it was my older brother's or mine 😆. The new shoes and tie, as well as the shirt my mom bought from Italy for me, completed the outfit nicely. I have included before/after pictures for posterity 😊. I ended up getting a few compliments on my look which felt nice.

The wedding itself was a great time! Lots of dancing, good times, hanging out with friends. They had a secular ceremony, short and beautiful. It was moving in the way weddings can be, and I shed a few tears. The flower bearers also were cute as punch, though I have a biased opinion (they were my cousin's kids).

I received a partial invitation: I could attend the ceremony, however the dinner had limited seating. I then could return later in the evening for the dance. I would've liked to try out the food, though I took the opportunity to go for a walk through the river valley and stop in at a couple coffee shops. It let me ground myself for the craziness later on 😆.

The dance was awesome! I ended up doing just as the name suggests for the most part; just dance like crazy, haha! I always enjoy dancing. I think I was going a little too crazy because a friend pulled me aside and showed me some subtler moves 😆. Still, I took it in stride, adjusted a bit, and still had fun. Lots of fun songs, definitely aimed at my generation later on. No one really liked the Latino songs that the DJ played, and the song I requested played as soon as the midnight snack came out, so I was one of like 3 people who danced to it 😆. Still, I think he did a great job. I stayed until the end, around midnight, and caught a ride back home. I ate some food and then passed out. Almost cracked 40k steps between the walking around and the dancing, so it felt awesome to lie down in bed XD.

One Thing That Went Well Today:

The wedding was a blast!

Gratitude:

I am grateful for dancing. It's a fun thing to do.
I am grateful for conviviality and merriment. It's an important and enjoyable part of life to have fun.
I am grateful for my comfy bed. It's the perfect place to sleep after a long day.

Reading:

Yes.

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Tuesday journal on Tuesday!

Today was a relaxed day. I treated myself to some ramen, renewed my ID, found out I needed to complete a written test before applying for the ignition interlock program, and had a big nap. I just got back from a long walk in the evening. The smell of fresh rain and the humidity was a cool, refreshing feeling.

I also went to see my old manager at the grocery store I used to work at on a whim. I apologized for not being a great employee and thanked him for taking the chance on me. It was daunting enough already, he was also in a room with 10 other people or so as well, but I still said what I felt. I definitely felt a vulnerability hangover afterwards. I also chatted with an old co-workers for a while, which was a pleasant conversation.

One Thing That Went Well Today:

I made an amend to my old manager.

Gratitude:

I am grateful for my growth in self-respect.
I am grateful for the reassurance and care people show me.
I am grateful for this moment.

Reading:

No.

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Quick Wednesday check-in on Thursday.

90 days on Wednesday. I don't have time this morning for a full reflection, I'll write the rest when I get home from work. I also dropped off my old gaming rig at my younger brother's last night, which seemed appropriate for the day. Catch y'all later 🙂

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Ended up not getting to the journal because of time constraints, so this will be a summary of Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday (today).

The days have flown by recently. Between being busy at work and being busy after work doing stuff, I haven't had much time to myself. It's a strange problem to have, considering not too long ago I was having trouble figuring out what to do with myself without video games. I've been tired, even though I'm prioritizing sleep over getting a lot of things done.

From what I can remember, Wednesday went pretty smooth for the most part. It was my first real test for a solo morning shift and I did well enough to garner praise from the server. I got a workout in and got my computer wiped and ready for my brother to use as well.

As I mentioned in the previous post, I sold my old gaming rig to my younger brother, dropping it off on the 90th day of no video games for me (Thursday). It seemed a fitting act to do on the day. I think he'll be happy with it, and use it appropriately as well. Of the three brothers, he was the one who did not really get hooked onto video games and played in moderation. Setting it up for him took most of the evening, so I went straight to bed when I got home. Work was kinda rough, but I still managed to get it done.

Today was a bit more hectic. I got some help from the banquet manager for the big morning rush, and we got orders out decently fast. However, the kitchen helper and I ended up crisping up some bacon a little too much, so we can't use them for breakfast tomorrow (but we might be able to use them for some other things). I also left the line slightly messy, which I don't like to do. After work, I went to my younger brother's place again to help move some of his files onto an external drive (for someone our age, he could be considered technically illiterate).

My mom, her boyfriend, and I went out for pho to celebrate the 90 day milestone. It was delicious and super busy since it was a Friday. Afterwards, I went to the gym. Now, I'm here. Can you tell that I'm tired? 😆

Oh, because I forgot to post/mention it before, I also had soup on Tuesday. Ramen!

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One Thing That Went Well Today:

I had self-compassion and didn't beat myself up even though I made a mistake at work.

Gratitude:

I am grateful for delicious soup.
I am grateful for the resiliency and discipline that are starting to develop in me.
I am grateful for my comfy bed.

Reading:

No.

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