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NEW VIDEO: I Replaced Gaming With Real Life (Nicco Transformation)

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Max

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18 minutes ago, Wildermyth said:

Fortunately I sucked at the game so I knew my chances of getting anything higher than diamond was way out of the picture. Still, I remember how agitated I got when I dropped in rank and how eager I was to get back up again; it always resulted in me playing an excessive amount of matches into the late hours with zero enjoyment. 

Have you ever tried real sports? I know martial arts has ranking systems with belts and what not and it seems like it brings people together in a good way. You'll get a new perspective on personal development and there's so many more components that are healthy compared to competitive gaming.

I was going to the gym 3 times a week for the whole 2021. I’ve made some progress and my trainer suggested me to try competitive powerlifting tournament. I started preparing for it, and after 2 months my body just fell apart. I quit then, and now, after a year after this, I still have problems with veins and I’m in constant pain. So I guess sports, especially competitive is a big no no for me now. I get so obsessed with it that I would just destroy my body. 

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On 2/21/2023 at 8:58 AM, Max said:

I was going to the gym 3 times a week for the whole 2021. I’ve made some progress and my trainer suggested me to try competitive powerlifting tournament. I started preparing for it, and after 2 months my body just fell apart. I quit then, and now, after a year after this, I still have problems with veins and I’m in constant pain. So I guess sports, especially competitive is a big no no for me now. I get so obsessed with it that I would just destroy my body. 

Yeah, it's certainly a balancing act. I took lots of spinning classes a while back and I got so obsessed with it that my instructor eventually told me to slow down a bit. It's easy to get caught up in something when you're improving and getting stronger; you forget about your breaking point because you're feeling invincible in the moment.

I started lifting weights about a year ago and I started out really strong with a strict schedule, supplements and all the usual stuff, but over time I've learnt to take it down a notch and move my end goal a bit further. There's really no rush unless you are competing. Sure, you won't see results as quickly, but you preserve more energy and learn how to be patient and disciplined. In the end I want to use those attributes to also battle my gaming addiction.

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Day 142 without gaming. 

My doctor said that my problems with stomach ache and bad digestion could be not physiological, but rather psychological. And I see how it could be true. My problems started when I stopped gaming, and started preparing for school exams on May 2022. I've made some major decisions around that time, that I'll give up on university and will pursue self study. And I've felt quite uneasy since then. Because for my academical failures I have nothing to blame but myself. With that decision I've gained a great responsibility. And because I've stopped gaming I have no place to escape this tension. I used to escape into gaming for a major part of my life, and now it's gone. 

Another thing that made me felt uneasy is that I started craving gaming really hard after 100 days. And to be honest I don't understand why. I haven't changed anything in my life, so I have no clue what happened. I really need to look into this and investigate.

Yesterday when I was falling asleep I had severe anxiety, almost like a panic attack. And I don't understand why, because I had nothing scheduled on today. Maybe it's because I've got diagnosed with yet another physical problem that needs surgery, but I thought that I took it quite easy. But maybe all this physical pain, loneliness, upcoming surgery, upcoming appointment with therapist and severe gaming cravings has all blended into anxiety/panic attack. I don't know yet, but I'm trying to reflect on myself as much as possible to understand what's happening.

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Just got diagnosed with a syndrome that causes me so much pain. I have to take medication for the rest of my life, also I can't lift anything more than 5-10kg for the rest of my life. I have to check up once a year, if it get's worse I'd need to do a surgery, that would cause me even more pain with a possibility to make me disabled.

I think I'm having a mental breakdown. I've cried 5 times during the last hour. I wanna die

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8 hours ago, Paul A. said:

I can't even begin to understand how you must be feeling right now. That's awful news, and it pains me to think about how terrible you must be feeling. Let us know if there's anything we can do

I appreciate your concern.


It’s alright now. That day I wanted to buy a vape and go back to gaming, but decided that games nor nicotine won’t solve my problems. I had a therapy session today, so I’m already working on my mental health. Probably my journals would be different from now on. I still crave playing Overwatch, but gaming is not a problem. In order to fix my life I have to change myself. I have to change my attitude towards myself.

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Day 150 without games.

I've felt quite uneasy during the past few months, but this week my anxiety is so severe that I can't take it any longer. It is to the point that I feel physically sick. As my therapist has said, my negative feelings and emotions have connection to my stomach problems. And I gotta say that my stomach was never as bad as now. I am in both psychological and physical agony. Last time I've felt that anxious right before university entrance exams which I knew I would fail. But then that feeling was only for a few hours before exam. Now I have the same feeling constantly, and I can't understand why, because I have nothing even relatively stressing in the future. I have studied for 5 hours daily, my progress is good and understanding is awesome. So by any means I'm doing great, all that I am supposed to do. Then why the fuck I feel so terrible? I feel like my life is ruined and I've lost everything, even though I know that none of it js actually true. And that feeling never goes away, I'm tearing inside both figuratively and literally. My guess is that the news about my physical condition and all this pain slowly caught up with me and now hurting with their full power. And games, yeah, abstinence from games hurt me so badly. Like it was my way to socialize, vent out, show others my skill and value. And now I have none of this. I'm by my own, no matter what I do I get 0 response. I was grinding math this whole week, finished all algebra and got a perfect final exam score. But it felt so unrewarding, no one said "good job" to me. I could've just laid in bed and watched youtube and get to basically the same outcome. Like I know that knowing math is beneficial and would help me in the long run, but now this is so vague that it actually means nothing. 

And now I realize my mistake. I've been listening to Healthy Gamer for a few weeks and now I can surely say that all of this is wrong, quitting games cold turkey is wrong, Cam is wrong. This whole approach of "just" quitting games and "just" doing healthy things instead is so fucked up. You are just fighting a symptom instead of addressing the real issue behind it. People play games for 12 hours a day not because games are bad, but because something in their lives is fucked up. No wonder that the relapse rate on this forum is so high. It was always so obvious, but I've never thought about it properly. I've spent almost 3 years of my life depriving myself from the only thing that had meaning in my life. Have I found another healthy meaning? Nope. I've just spent 3 years torturing myself to the point that I'm hurt as never before. All of this was wrong. Listening to a man who blames every problem in life on one thing in order to just sell his shitty pdfs that tell you to touch grass was probably one of the worst decisions in my life. I am done, gonna start a game tonight. 

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No one said that every of your problems will miraculously vanish once you stop gaming. Its the same for me. I stopped League years ago and still didnt make any good progress in first YEARS. I think I totally have a different perspective on this, So I thought I might share it once again, in fact I wrote it plenty of times here already and many expierienced the same as well, so I am not saying anything new here

 

Quitting the drug is a necessity but is not sufficient. You cant live a proper life as a gameaddict. Thats impossible, thats the definition of an addiction: not being able to stop things which have a negative impact on your life. So quitting is a must-do. But that doesnt mean it changes anything out of a sudden. For that you need to do more things. You cant assume quitting bad stuff will put you on the same level as people who always do productive shit. There is still a huge gap between those two people. The reason why people relapse is because its an addiction. Its the definition. And the biggest point is that they dont change the environment. No replacements, nothing.

 

If Ou are looking for a ‚good job‘ from other people, you might start to do things which actually matter to you/others. Of course this will not happen tomorrow the road is long for that. To be good at things which actually matter is damn hard. You did well in this math exam - alright. But you ask the question: for what? Well yea thats the right question, if you just studied for no reason just because you want to ‚know math‘ well thats fcking pointless. I was one of the best in my class in every subject, but I was the only one who had a benefit from that, because they studied some stuff which you dont need good grades for(so basicslly pointless to study in school for good grades except for self educational ourpose), but I usef my good grades to study medicine(only possible with the best grades). If you dont get gratification once you hit your goals, those goals were not the right ones by definition.

 

So you say you should address the real issue. Thats what everyone says here as well man. But you cant address the real issue if you binge game 24/7. Like I said, stop the addiction is the necessity. Not the total solution. Stop to game is hard, start to be awesome in real life so its fun, is way harder

Edited by Lobares2
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56 minutes ago, Lobares2 said:

So I thought I might share it once again, in fact I wrote it plenty of times here already and many expierienced the same as well, so I am not saying anything new here

I was thinking the same as you, so I can totally understand your point. But now I can see beyond that.

 

56 minutes ago, Lobares2 said:

Quitting the drug is a necessity but is not sufficient. You cant live a proper life as a gameaddict. Thats impossible, thats the definition of an addiction: not being able to stop things which have a negative impact on your life.

Have you ever wondered how people become addicts? Gaming Addicts Anonymous says that the Higher Power made them miserable for the rest of their lives and they are helpless and can’t be cured. Pretty convenient position, it takes all the responsibility from the person to an abstract 3rd party. And I think this is bullshit. And Cam’s position that “you have to stop and do something else for the rest of your life” is also incredibly stupid. Imagine a person who is very good in studies, has good friends, exercises and has a romantic partner. Would that person be interested in shooting heroine behind a dumpster? Doubt. What about playing video games for 10h a day? Doubt. 
 

Where was a case after the war in Vietnam, that 20% of US soldiers became addicted to heroine. It was known as the most addictive substance, that would make anyone an addict. So the public was shocked that so many addicts would return to the US. But what actually happened is that after their return, only 5% within those 20% has relapsed during the year. 
 

That leads to a conclusion that the environment plays a big role in your behavior. They were using heroine during the horrors of war, and once they came back home they didn’t need heroine anymore.

So my point is that I have to discover what is ACTUALLY wrong, instead of mimicking “successful” people as Cam suggests. I can study for 10 hours a day for the rest of my life, I can go outside everyday on long walks, but if I still feel like shit, then what’s the fucking point? 

1 hour ago, Lobares2 said:

You cant assume quitting bad stuff will put you on the same level as people who always do productive shit. There is still a huge gap between those two people. The reason why people relapse is because its an addiction. Its the definition

You assume that the person is fucked up because he is a gaming addict. But what if he is a gaming addict because he is fucked up? You blame all the misery on gaming, but what if this misery led to gaming?

 

1 hour ago, Lobares2 said:

But you ask the question: for what? Well yea thats the right question, if you just studied for no reason just because you want to ‚know math‘ well thats fcking pointless.

I have to know math in order to be a good programmer, it’s a skill I need, but it’s not my main goal or something I enjoy very much.

 

1 hour ago, Lobares2 said:

If you dont get gratification once you hit your goals, those goals were not the right ones by definition.

Do you get gratification after brushing your teeth? If you don’t, then brushing your teeth was not the right goal by definition. 

 

1 hour ago, Lobares2 said:

But you cant address the real issue if you binge game 24/7. Like I said, stop the addiction is the necessity.

I didn’t say that I will binge game 24/7. But I will play when I want to.

 

You think you know better than me, you give all these advices. But what if you just stop for a second and think about it? What if you are actually wrong? How many times have you reached your goals after quitting games? 
 

When I read your journal the only impression I get is that you are fucking struggling man. You say that you will do better tomorrow, but that’s rarely the case. You are going in circles. What if you are actually missing something important that makes your life much more difficult? What makes your goals harder to reach. 

And this isn’t gaming.

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First of all: Dont think I know the ‚solution‘, my ‚advices‘ are not meant like teacher-student, I am just telling you my thoughts. I mean obviously you want people to react to your stuff, thats whats forum is for. Just giving my 2 cents, I dont want to make the impression that I want to teach you. I cant do that anyway. Like you said I am struggling myself. But you struggle too, doesnt change the fact your post contains a lot of truth anyway ;-)?

 

Would that person be interested in shooting heroine behind a dumpster? Doubt. What about playing video games for 10h a day? Doubt. 

I think you are mixing things up. If everything is fine in your life, yea, you will not fall into addiction. Thats right. But your addiction already happened. Thats my point. And once that happens your life can be good, but once you play 1 game, it will fall a part once again. Thats the definition of an addict. If you are not one, then yea, you can game in moderation. But since we are both here..

o my point is that I have to discover what is ACTUALLY wrong, instead of mimicking “successful” people as Cam suggests. I can study for 10 hours a day for the rest of my life, I can go outside everyday on long walks, but if I still feel like shit, then what’s the fucking point? 

Yea I think the same! People need to address the real problems. My opinion: You cant face the real problems while gaming/being an addict. Thats the Main reason why you should quit. Quit, to have the actual chance to change your life/face the real problems. Well, If you can do that while you are gaming, then you are not an addict. And if thats the case for you, gz! My question: Why did you even start to quit games, if apparently you could have faced the problems back then while playing?

I think you feel shit, because you sre not chasing the goals properly, didnt change the environment. And you might need to chase them for a longer time.

You assume that the person is fucked up because he is a gaming addict. But what if he is a gaming addict because he is fucked up? You blame all the misery on gaming, but what if this misery led to gaming?

 

Thats possible. Misery leads to addiction easily(like your example). But thats not the important question IMO. Since the addiction happened already. It definitely prevents you from improving your life.

 

Do you get gratification after brushing your teeth? If you don’t, then brushing your teeth was not the right goal by definition. 

 

Sure, of course not huge boost, its equal to the amount you put in. Doing my sports isnt fun, but the results are.

 

I didn’t say that I will binge game 24/7. But I will play when I want to.

 

If thats the case. You dont have a problem with gaming. Then obviously you dont need to listen to any of my points.

My opinion: you will not do anything to change your life as soon as you start gaming again. I think addicts are not able to moderate gaming. Thats why they are called addicts. Your point is: I game a bit so I feel better, after that I will fix my life to feel good while not gaming too. I think you will game 24/7 again because its hard to fix your life/you dont know how. What you are doing here is basically what so many people already tried but failed: gaming in moderation. I dont see hoe the state of your life will change to the better if you start to game now? You will suddenly face the problems if you are gaming? I guess your point is more like ‚Not-gaming doesnt help, nor does gaming makes my life worse, actually it brings me joy, so why not game‘?

 

Dont get me wrong, if you getting upset because of my posts just don’t answer, I wont write again then. Dont want to give you bad vibes or anything, I really only answered because I thought it might help. Again, I am struggling myself a LOT. But restarting Lol would put me back in a place which is a LOT worser, thats why I gave you my opinion.

 

Edited by Lobares2
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My main point why I quit games: Its a necessity to quit them. If I dont quit I have 0 chance to change anything. Quitting gives me the CHANCE to improve my life. It just makes it possible. But without qutting its not even possible IMO, since you will game all day once again… An heroin addict cant shoot heroin once a week and do good in his life. He will start to shot it every day.

Edited by Lobares2
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5 hours ago, Lobares2 said:

Yea I think the same! People need to address the real problems. My opinion: You cant face the real problems while gaming/being an addict. Thats the Main reason why you should quit. Quit, to have the actual chance to change your life/face the real problems.

I was facing real problems for 150 days. Not only I felt awful, it kept getting worse and worse. As I said before, my mental condition damages me physically. If I’d continue my “recovery” I’d either go insane or kill myself. If you can deal with all your problems without any coping, than I’m happy for you, but I just can’t.

 

5 hours ago, Lobares2 said:

My question: Why did you even start to quit games, if apparently you could have faced the problems back then while playing?

I thought that all my problems in life were due to gaming and if I quit my life will get better. Unfortunately it is the opposite.

 

5 hours ago, Lobares2 said:

I think you feel shit, because you sre not chasing the goals properly, didnt change the environment. And you might need to chase them for a longer time.

What is the proper way to chase goals? My goal is becoming a programmer, so I studied all day every day. What would be the proper what then?

 

5 hours ago, Lobares2 said:

Sure, of course not huge boost, its equal to the amount you put in. Doing my sports isnt fun, but the results are.

I can’t relate to that. I don’t get any gratification after completing chores.

 

5 hours ago, Lobares2 said:

My opinion: you will not do anything to change your life as soon as you start gaming again. I think addicts are not able to moderate gaming. Thats why they are called addicts.

As I said before, depriving myself from gaming does nothing good to me. I want to try things I’ve never tried before - understand myself. I want to understand WHY I want to game and what I can do with it. Just quitting and saying no to your desires is not a proper solution, it is just damaging and wrong. I hated myself for gaming for years. It’s time to practice some self love. I want to go beyond gaming=bad paradigm, I want to go deeper into myself.

I know that gaming in moderation sounds very silly on this forum, but I have nothing left to lose. My life just can’t get worse at this point. If I were to choose between myself after 150 days without gaming or when I was gaming 12h a day, I’d choose the later.  
 

5 hours ago, Lobares2 said:

Dont get me wrong, if you getting upset because of my posts just don’t answer, I wont write again then. Dont want to give you bad vibes or anything, I really only answered because I thought it might help. Again, I am struggling myself a LOT. But restarting Lol would put me back in a place which is a LOT worser, thats why I gave you my opinion.

I’m sorry if my response seemed disrespectful, I am just so hurt that I can get it out on other people.

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5 hours ago, Lobares2 said:

My main point why I quit games: Its a necessity to quit them. If I dont quit I have 0 chance to change anything. Quitting gives me the CHANCE to improve my life. It just makes it possible. But without qutting its not even possible IMO, since you will game all day once again… An heroin addict cant shoot heroin once a week and do good in his life. He will start to shot it every day.

Heah this is a very reasonable point. But as I said before, I have been quitting for 3 years. Not only it didn’t get better, it got much worse. I want to try something else even if it’s stupid

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For me it was the same. I also made none/very low amount of progress, because I didnt face the problems. Last year I actually started with that, and suddenly I made decent progress. For me the key was to change my environment. Finally I had no reason to play/procrastinate etc. I am pretty sure, if I make my exam and re-enter university, my problems will pretty much vanish due to the proper schedules then. Imagining I would play again, would ruin all that for 100% for me.

 

I think we have the same points, mainly that quitting alone is useless, its about what you replace it with and whether the replacement targets your real problems. But we have different conclusions for that, if I got it right you simply think there is no reason to not-game. You could say then, if you now found ‚the solution‘ aka facing the real problems, why dont you face them while staying sober? Yes I know it feels like shit, but the potential downside stepping back into gaming is huge(basically getting hooked for years again). The only reason I see right now to get back to gaming is to feel good. And thats not the best reason as we all know.

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4 hours ago, Lobares2 said:

if I got it right you simply think there is no reason to not-game

Nah, I think that with my current mental state abstinence is actually damaging.

 

4 hours ago, Lobares2 said:

You could say then, if you now found ‚the solution‘ aka facing the real problems, why dont you face them while staying sober?

Facing real problems isn't a solution. Solution is actually solving them. I can't face this while being sober because it's just too much for me. I can't take it, it just broke me. I have to address it one at a time. When I quit it's just too overwhelming. I feel lost. With gaming I have a solid ground from where I can start. I want to feel like a "normal" person, someone who can start up a game and have some fun, instead of being an "addict" who fears games for the rest of the life. 

Today I played and nothing bad happened. It felt nice and I moved on.

Edited by Max
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Yo! Just a quick entry to let you guys know that I'm doing better. Since I reintroduced myself to gaming I played 3 times. The first one was on my day off for a few hours. Second one was in the evening after I've done everything I've planned for a day, got bored after 30 minutes though and quit. And the last one was on Sunday with my study buddy, 40 minutes between evening study sessions. 

All I can say is that I am finally on the way of actually figuring out stuff. I am developing passion for learning and enjoying every moment in life. And it's never been so fun and easy. 

Edited by Max
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