Relapse, 4 years later

[MikeRuns]

Well, I am back again after a very long time away. A lot has changed since the last time I posted, but yet at the same time not that much has changed.

I did stop gaming, sold my gaming PC, spent a lot of time not playing any games at all. I took a salsa dancing class, tried a few classes out, started Improv and realized i really liked that and went through a whole series of classes. I was cooking more, eating healthier, ran a marathon, and overall I think living a happier and healthier life.

 

I ended up picking gaming back up when FF7 Remake was released. Binged that game and enjoyed it. This was all during COVID which made it tough to do much else. I also ended up getting back into an old game called Warcraft 3 for a bit. I also did play last of us part 2. I didn't really feel guilty or bad at all for playing FF7 or Last of Us part 2, they were ones I thought would be fun to play, and also have an end.

I had some family shit happen that resulted in me moving back to being around where I grew up. At some point I got a PS5, but realize I don't think I have even beaten a single game on it that was made for the PS5. I got into Rust Console and No Man's sky, both of which are games that last forever. I started playing Ark on the console around April. I was going through a tough time, and I all of a sudden got this urge to build a gaming pc again. Which is where things got much worse. At first i was just playing every so often with some friends, but then I got back into ark and probably put in 2-300 hours in a few months. I Eventually quit as I knew it was getting bad. I then got back into League of legends of all things, A game I never thought I would ever play again. I then played around 400 hours of league in the span of a few months, again starting small but then escalating the amount of time I played.

The issue has never really been games, it is just when things are getting hard I want to escape instead of trying to just dig in and really solve my problems in my life. Gaming has always been the easiest to sink into. Binging an entire TV series feels like so much, but I always have ran out of TV shows much faster than I have ran out of desire to play something like league.

Moderation with gaming has never really worked with me, over time I tend to give myself an inch and take a mile. I have done the same sometimes with other activities, but I don't get the same feeling from other activities as I do from video games. Which helps part of my brain tell myself "we should do something else", instead of video games where all I want to do is play them.

 

Here's to quitting again, first day so far has been on December 16th

[Paul A.]

Welcome back!

[Lobares2]

Sounds rough man. You got it right, you always run back to the dopamin source eg gaming as soon as life gets tough or something bad happens. Everyone can stay sober without stress and bad events. 

Maybe think about building routines to cope with difficult situations for the future. But of course now you must quit first obviously, will be rough I guess League is crazy. I am not gaming league since 4 years too now, still thinking about going back here and then. Sometimes I think the obly thing which keeps me away is that my friends would see me online. And at least I have one good attitude - I dont hide my bad habits, I am open with them when I have them, thats why I dont create new accs. 

You were without games for so long so you thoughtyou could restart with some easy games but they lead to more games and eventually you land back at the addictive ones, so never start again in the future. But I guess you know it yourself...

 

Gl man 

[Amphibian220]

Welcome, you are a runner from your post. Doesn’t running help in relieving stress? When I remember cross country running in the past, it was one of the greatest activities to clear the mind.