Irishrican950 42 Posted January 19 Author Share Posted January 19 Day 47, Just got an update from my recruiter on a couple jobs I applied for... Feeling the sting of being passed on a job at the moment for something that I really couldn't control. I still got a few other job prospects in play. So we'll see how it goes. I just didn't have something technical for this role but I interviewed well. Still I feel this discomfort of being skipped over that brings me back to times in my childhood where I just felt not cool for being picked last/not picked at all. Noticing that I am hard on myself at times and I think in the past that has contributed to my gaming addiction... to escape and just be someone else for a while numbs the pain. I just grew with such a hyper critical dad and was a target in school of bullying... sometimes it feels like I am never going to be enough. Breathing through it and coming back to the part of me that knows I am whole... am a man... and am worthy of whatever I dedicate myself to has been helpful here. Letting go of the story... letting go of the victim mentality... embracing the discomfort as something that is benefitial... and now writing about it... this is the medicine. Happy to report that while there is a draw to escape in moments like these - picking up a game is not really all that strong of an addiction at the moment. I'm excited to get to 90 and hopefully 365 days from there! Regards -D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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