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NEW VIDEO: A Wasted Time (The Truth About Gaming)

Irishrican950

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  1. Day 54, Getting up a little earlier each day. That's helping me. Did some not so fun things today like submit a bunch of paperwork for a BG check for a job. Noticing just how distracted I am when I don't exercise first and do really boring complicated tasks. That said - the gaming addiction has subsided so I am happy about that. Have my first DJ gig tonight for a weekly salsa night I am doing down in CT. Excited about that - will be a good outlet for my creativity and pays decent. Hope all is well fam! -D
  2. Day 53, Another slow start to the day but improving slightly in terms of getting up earlier. Went to a coffee shop near by and made a warm impression on a few people who took my number. That felt good. I've got to handle alot of paperwork today for a new job contract and I am sweating that... I feel the part of me that wants to procrastinate stuff that is difficult/unknown to do... I'm glad the gaming impulse to escape is somewhat gone. Now I just need to stay on task and not try and get too sidetracked by other distractions. Onward! -D
  3. Day 52, Working on getting up a little earlier each day... still a work in progress... but yeah. Start a new job in 2 weeks. Working hard on my contracts like it already started. Feels good. Doing the best I can to stay off my phone too... today was a good day. Regards, D
  4. Day 51, Stayed up too late and got up too late again - do you guys find that sometimes you just have extra energy at night and it's hard to sleep? That's been a problem for me as of late. Making up for lost time this week as I get going. Hoping I can have a productive afternoon and evening. Regards, D UPDATE - had a solid afternoon and evening... it's about midnight and I can say that I've managed to turn things around from a slow start to the morning. Hoping to have an even better Tuesday! #bettereveryday
  5. Day 49 + 50, Spent Saturday doing a 16 mile hike down a bike trail that had me cross 4 towns and 1 state line. It was fun... like an RPG game but for real. I found it very adventurous and enjoyed the process of walking and seeing how far I could go with daylight. Listening to David Coggins audiobook in my headphones and having fun phone conversations with friends along the way was cool. In a way I think for me life is a game. I'm just wired that way. I can't quit games as the game is all up in me. As I walked I thought of what values I want to continue to cultivate this year... discipline came up... in keeping a schedule and a journal... and in having a boundaries with the toxic habits like gaming that I am dropping... precision came up... staying focused on the goal when working... often seeing if I can stay focused on a certain boring work related task for the time I've scheduled for myself. And dynamism... the part of me that loves to be free and flow in creative ways... allowing myself to channel that in what I commit to doing... Today I slept in to recover from the big hike and watched a lot of football with family. My dad reminded me that it's important to be back home and around my brother. He wants me to stick around the area and I can sense that he can't say that exactly so he's saying things like... being around for my brother makes him happy and he believes it's a wise thing to do. Overall I continue to see just how hard it is for me to hold strong boundaries for myself. I'm glad to be 50 days game free... that's a great start. Regards, -D
  6. Yoooo Day 48, Love that Cam put a new video out. So good. Stoked he's talking the multidimensional nature of addiction. Another day of no gaming for me. Got a great contract offer today so stoked for more money and structure. Been listening to David Goggins new book on audible... so potent... going on a super long hike tomorrow. Onward and upward, -D
  7. Day 47, Just got an update from my recruiter on a couple jobs I applied for... Feeling the sting of being passed on a job at the moment for something that I really couldn't control. I still got a few other job prospects in play. So we'll see how it goes. I just didn't have something technical for this role but I interviewed well. Still I feel this discomfort of being skipped over that brings me back to times in my childhood where I just felt not cool for being picked last/not picked at all. Noticing that I am hard on myself at times and I think in the past that has contributed to my gaming addiction... to escape and just be someone else for a while numbs the pain. I just grew with such a hyper critical dad and was a target in school of bullying... sometimes it feels like I am never going to be enough. Breathing through it and coming back to the part of me that knows I am whole... am a man... and am worthy of whatever I dedicate myself to has been helpful here. Letting go of the story... letting go of the victim mentality... embracing the discomfort as something that is benefitial... and now writing about it... this is the medicine. Happy to report that while there is a draw to escape in moments like these - picking up a game is not really all that strong of an addiction at the moment. I'm excited to get to 90 and hopefully 365 days from there! Regards -D
  8. Day 46, Got up earlier than I normally have been today so jumping on here to celebrate that. Glad to be off to a good start... hope to make it a great day! Regards, D
  9. Day 42 + 43 + 44 + 45 Hey, Been out for a few days away from my computer last weekend at a friend's. It was nice. I was catching up with him... haven't hung out in years. He has a bunch of dope DJ gear and I was playing all weekend with the toys - sharpening my skills on better gear that what I own. It was fun. I should figure out how to log into here with my phone so I don't get in the habit of missing days... Yesterday (Monday) and today I've been mostly working. I make my own hours so I am still slow to get going and go late but I've stayed off games all and all. Got a few job interviews this week. I'm excited to get working again at a full time role and start earning more money. It's been a really hard but good challenge making my own hours... I'm ready for some more structure. Been working out every other day or so - trying to make that a new habit. Overall I am happy with how I am progressing... half way to 90 days. Celebrating that with a drink and calling it a night. Sending you all lots of love, -D
  10. Thanks Yan - I've been keeping a planner with me that has journal prompts so I think that's what's been keeping these entrees shorter as of late. Consistency is key. That's all the counts right now. Day 41, Had a job interview today and my recruiter had me over prepare so I hyperfocused until 1 am last night and got my resume and portfolio totally dialed in for it. Got up a little past my alarm to snow on the ground which isn't fun... Interview turned out to be way easier than I expected. I feel drained and tired from the whole experience but glad it went well. Transitioning back to my current job at the moment. Noticing just how much I gravitate towards the adventurism and conflicts of others - RPGs gave me that outlet. Now I am paying attention to the news, politics, football and Ukraine more.. and I don't want to! I have very little control of any of it... I think I just like the drama and it gives me a place to escape to. This is very much the next area of my life I want to curb. Any ideas are welcome. Perhaps the next 30/90 days is to quit that... but I think it will be a harder one to do as the news is much easier to access on my phone/computer. Regards, Doug
  11. Day 40, Slow start to the day but it's game free. Noticing how my energy can lead to wanting to instead read the news and tune into social media. Finding ways to combat that still... like putting the phone down in another room and staying on schedule... it's a process. My hope is over time it gets easier! Big love, D
  12. Day 39, The internet scrolling at breaks and night still kills me but beyond that yesterday was a success. Feeling tired today from how much I accomplished yesterday. Big focus is keeping the phone away from me as I follow my calendar. Onward and upward, -D
  13. Day 38 baby we out here, Yo I forgot to mention - I saw Avatar: Way of Water over the weekend... man... that was so good. Gave me that much needed fatherly perspective of how to be a man in this wild world we live in. Blessed to be here game free another day. Dog has been walked. Breakfast served and I am on my way to a productive day! Sending all you guys reading this so much love. Regards, D
  14. Day 37, Charge! Yes Yan! That's it man. Have a solid day planned today. Off to a good start. Got a long walk in with the dog. Wishing you all a happy game-free Sunday. Regards, D
  15. Day 35 + 36, It's been a challenging couple days. But overall I am not gaming and I am making progress to install ways to not distract myself as much on the internet. Today I am feeling this heaviness of what has been a really important conversation that happened yesterday.My brother - who I only recently have been talking to more regularly... shared with me that after a series of questions, there’s a part of me that has been dormant for a long time and it’s the part of me that shows up as a leader, almost ruthlessly, and makes things happen, no matter what... I’ve let that part of me be questioned so much and I’ve played so small in the last 10 years... I’ve gone completely the other way where I've followed everybody else doing the thing that I wanted to do instead of actually do it myself and it’s landed me in a really low place and it’s time to decide to just do what I need to do again no matter what and regardless of who is with or not with me... it's like an RPG game syndrome I guess... I want to recruit the perfectly trained squad before hitting the battle. I was always that kind of player... over leveling to show up to the fight OP so it was easier. Life isn't really well designed for that. Time to to get after it at level 1 again. -D