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Paul’s Journal


Paul A.
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I didn’t sell anything yesterday. It was a pretty slow day so I don’t feel a ways about my lack of sales, but admittedly I could’ve done a better job with the few customers I did have. One family in particular came in looking for mattresses, but I wasn’t knowledgeable enough to answer their questions adequately. Just goes to show that I have a lot to learn before I can call myself king of the salespeople. My regional manager is back from vacation, so now I’m just waiting for him to come back in to the store so I can chat with him about getting better.

In other news, I can sense a passion for nutrition growing. Nutrition is nothing new to me because I’ve worked out successfully in the past, but I’m starting to redevelop my appreciation for good nutrition. I see it as a sort of game, where optimal nutrition is a sort of “power-up” that fuels your body, and poor nutrition does just the opposite. I’ve overhauled my diet starting today, and I intend to maintain a healthy diet for as long as I can. I’m eating lots of protein and nutrient-rich foods with the goal of achieving a better physique. I’m what you’d call “skinny fat”, but I want to become lean and muscular, so I need to eat accordingly. I’m hoping I can get and maintain some forward momentum with this whole fitness thing in the coming weeks. It’s hard to gauge after one day, but I think it’ll stick this time.

On my way to the gym this morning, today’s gonna be leg day. I did feel some hesitance to leave the bed, but I hyped myself up and told myself that I love going to the gym, and the motivation followed. I know the early mornings will be worth it in the long run.

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I only made one small sale yesterday, for $200. It's been a pretty disappointing week so far. I'd expect to have at least a few invoices by now, but I only have 1. What's more, one of my older customers came back in to cancel her initial order. She did end up buying an identical set in a different color, but I didn't profit from it. If anything, I may not end up getting paid on that set, because it's technically more expensive than the initial set, but we charged her the same price.

It's hard to stay motivated when I'm performing so poorly. I wrote 21 invoices last week, but I'll be lucky to write 5 by the end of this week, at the rate that I'm going. I'm wondering if last week was just a freak occurrence, and if it's even possible to replicate those results. As far as I know, I'm not doing anything differently from last week, so I don't know how to explain this lull in my performance. And I know at one level that sales is uncertain, and fluctuations in performance are bound to occur, but another part of me feels like there shouldn't be this drastic of a difference from one week to the next. From everything I've learned about sales, the best salespeople bring in consistently high numbers week after week, so the fact that I'm struggling so much this week means I'm far from the best. This is to be expected, since I only just started two months ago, but it still stings knowing how well I did last week.

I'm still waiting until my regional manager comes back into the store so I can have a chat with him. I think he'll be a valuable resource for me on my road to king of the salespeople. I'm taking this goal of mine deadly serious, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes (that's morally aboveground) to achieve it. I don't expect to achieve it overnight, but I do want to start seeing some steady progress in the near future. The way I see it, I'm not trying to reinvent the wheel here, so it shouldn't take me ages to achieve a goal for which the resources to succeed are already out there.

I'm off from work today, but I may end up going in if I hear that my regional manager is in for the day. In other news, today's my off day from the gym as well, and it also happens to be my little sister's birthday. We're spending most of the day out of the house, so it may prove difficult to stick to my ideal meal plan, but I'll remain vigilant. My diet always tends to fall apart on days that I'm not working out, but I'm trying my best to prevent that from happening this time around. Time will tell as to the success of my efforts.

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It is great to know that you took this well 

From the little experience I have with similar businesses from my grandparents I can tell you that having huge variations is normal and isn't always your fault

Variables like how many customers are interested and capable of affording the product you are trying to sell are often out of out control, you could be the best salesman on earth in the great depression and end up not being able to sell your luxury products because of the situation you are in. 

My opinion is that what truly defines a good salesman is his average performance overall through good and bad times.

Of course end data like amount of sales is important but since that is quite a bit dependant on other circumstances you can't control I would advice you to take a step back and try to account for everything that has happened, not only your sales during a period of time but also things that you can control like how you deal with customers, their satisfaction with your service, how willing they would be to return...

For now I would advice you to not get discouraged by the results, focus on things you can control and keep improving by doing what you are doing right now, asking the experienced people for advice... Just be mindful about how it may impact other areas of your life and try to not let it get to your head

Good luck Paul, let us know how it goes for you

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I made two sales today for about $1.5k. Funny enough, today's been my best day of the week. The past few days, I've sold next to nothing, so even managing to sell above $1k is a step up. I woke up fairly early today, around 6:30am, to hit the gym. Another light upper body day since I'm still getting back into the swing of things. Afterwards, I spent some time at home before I got ready to head in to work ahead of schedule. I spent a good portion of my workday reading a book on furniture sales that I ordered last night. It's a relatively short book so I was able to finish it in a few hours or so. Good read for sure. I've spent a lot of time reviewing and re-reviewing my notes from the book today, and I plan to continue to do so in the coming days. The information it provided isn't groundbreaking by any means, but it's the fundamentals that can easily be forgotten, so I'm making it a point to drill it into my head as much as possible. I actually managed to make one of my sales using one of the principles I learned from the book - humor. I got the customers laughing almost as soon as they walked in, and from there they were at ease the entire time they were with me. It wasn't a large sale, only about $750, but it was easily one of my most memorable. They even went as far as to say that the sale was more for me than it was for them, because I gave them a good time. Hopefully I can finesse my way into larger sales with these same principles.

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When I quit games when I was 21,5, I was actually fired from my temp/part-time post office job shortly after. I went to my 2019 Iceland job-trip a few months later, but it took another year until November 2020 since I had some reasonable income from teaching English. Out of all the jobs I had, I'm at least on my eight one at 25 and that's only since I was 19.

That's to say, any job or business is some function of money generation and personal satisfaction.

Money: If the job doesn't generate a reasonable income and just allows you to survive, it's shit. If it allows you to spend money on things you care about, then it's good. Gaming addiction is quite a "luxurious" problem to have, mostly limited to US or Europe, so I'd assume you're from a normal or better financial background. Ordinary Africans or Indians generally have more immediate trouble to deal with. Caveat: I think it's crazy that people borrow money for anything else than housing and maybe investing.

It's also a message of value and status. You value me, you pay me well, so I don't go working for the next guy. I think it's also a great razor for the comparison of jobs you'd like to do. For me to accept smaller pay, I'd have to enjoy my new job A LOT more than I do my current one, leading to...

Personal satisfaction: Do you want to learn new things at work? Meet interesting people? Or just chill and relax? The great thing about it is nobody can tell you what satisfies you. I have recently ranted about it in my monthly report, so I'll just copy it here:

Quote

 

Things that are probably somewhat unusual about me work-wise:

I actually do enjoy doing some routine and mundane tasks in general. People often ask me if I want to teach English forever, if it's not stifling or boring. I honestly tell them I don't know if I want to teach English forever and that it's the best job I've had so far. I could always up my English more by taking only more advanced students to teach to force me to study and prepare more.

I get why people ask this, especially if they are more of the creative sort. I understand they want a job they can learn a lot from. I'm going to be a bit counter-cultural here; learning is not without forgetting. Learning for the sake of learning is not a must for everyone, but for a few people who take it up as a hobby. There's just no way to do everything at the same time.

My great curse of the past became a great gift of the present. I spend thousands of hours at the computer, yet I learnt English well enough to build up on that and turn it into my job.

Good learning doesn't exist without rote. Good language learning is very much something for people who love rote; it changes slowly and there's an "infinite" number of words, combinations etc.

Learning how to work in a GIS software after a year? You'll be lucky a) to remember the basics after not working with it for a year, but also b) to find the same/similar layout/version of the program as you left.

That's why I have hobbies, I try out things in my off-time and if I enjoy them very much, I might do them more often and monetize them. That's my creative time, free of charge. I revel in calculating and optimizing my taxes over and over again, trying to find out if I can save more in a legal way. I also enjoy working in the GIS, just drawing polygons on hours on end. Maybe even to be a shooting instructor?

To sum it up, I've worked a job I didn't enjoy in the past. But nobody knows better than I do what jobs are those.

 

The main message? Maybe you'll be the king of salespeople. Maybe you'll be an amazing MC. Maybe you'll operate an excavator for fun and do programming for money. You get to decide what mix of money and personal satisfaction is right for you.

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I gave into PMO again. It’s been about a month since the last time I relapsed, so I had a pretty good run. I’m not very upset about it, though. Just gotta brush myself off and start over again. My strategy of “positive thinking” seems to be working for the most part, save for the most powerful and prolonged cravings. I just need to figure out a way to deal with those stronger cravings, but for the most part, continually telling myself that I don’t engage in PMO seems to work wonders.

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I’m starting to spend more time on TikTok. At first, I downloaded it strictly for my music, but now that I’m not taking music seriously anymore, it’s become more of a boredom buster. I no longer need it. If anything, it’s just a distraction. YouTube is distracting enough as it is, even though I do find some quality videos on there from time to time. But for the most part, TikTok is just short, entertaining clips tailored to short attention spans. So I’m gonna delete it.

On a somewhat related note, I watched an interesting video yesterday on YouTube pertaining to Eastern religion and enlightenment, and now I want to dive back into that world again. I’d been distancing myself from it because I felt like I no longer needed it, but I think it can still serve me, especially if I’m able to establish a consistent meditation practice, something I’ve struggled with in the past. I have a newfound understanding of meditation, as something that should be done for its own sake, but at the same time, you reap no benefits if you don’t practice consistently. So I need to find a way to incorporate it into my life, even if only for 5-10 mins a day.

I was able to speak to my regional manager yesterday. He was super excited when I told him I wanted to be the best salesperson, and he gave me a few resources I can use to achieve that goal. Most of them I was already using, but I did appreciate the gesture nonetheless. He told me that I can always come to him whenever he happens to be in the store, and that he’ll gladly spend 30-60mins with me at a time helping me sell. I’m also working with the general manager of my store to help me improve as well. Funny enough, the GM used to be my regional’s boss, so he was a goldmine hiding right under my nose this whole time. I’m excited to learn from them both and level up in my sales career.

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I’m getting back into meditation. This morning, I meditated for 3 minutes before I went to the gym. I realized it doesn’t matter how long you meditate for, whether 3 mins, 5 mins, or even an hour. What matters is that you’re taking some time out of your day, no matter how small, to simply be still. To just be with yourself. That’s the real essence of meditation. Of course, it comes with extra benefits too, such as improved concentration, a sense of calm and relaxation, and so forth. But, what really matters is the simple act of being. No distractions or obstacles. Just being.

I was back in the gym today for my second week. My diet fell apart over the weekend and I considered throwing in the towel with fitness together, but I’m still keeping on for the time being. Instead of my usual “clean eating” diet, I’m trying a low-carb/keto diet this week and seeing if I can sustain it, as well as what results it brings for my weight loss. So far it’s going pretty rough; I spent about $10 on keto cereal that turned out to be thoroughly unappetizing. I’m hoping I can figure it out over the next few days.

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I think I want to do another dopamine detox. I feel like I've been consuming too much content recently. YouTube, TikTok, etc. Granted, a lot of it has been fairly educational. I've been watching videos about spirituality and self-improvement. I discovered a YouTuber called Hamza, who actually gave me the idea to do another dopamine detox. I just feel like something's lacking. You ever have that feeling that you're just "one video away" or "one book away" from cracking the code and discovering the secret to success and true happiness? That's how I've been feeling for the past few weeks. I've been watching a bunch of videos on YouTube hoping to find that "one", when in reality, it probably doesn't exist. I know intellectually what I have to do, but I just keep looking for a shortcut or a loophole, or some kind of "magic formula" that I never knew before. But it's so much easier than that. I probably have all the knowledge I need at my disposal, I just need to apply it. I just gotta cut out the consumption and replace it with constructive, creative habits and ventures. That simple. So I think I will do that dopamine detox tomorrow. But instead of making it a one day thing, I want to make it a lifestyle. I want to be in a permanent state of connection with the world. No distractions. I want to be fully present at all times. If that means keeping my cell phone off my person, so be it. I'll do what I need to do to kill this lingering sense of dissatisfaction with life. This feeling that there's something more to life than I've already discovered. I intellectually know that "this is it". I just haven't been experiencing "it". So starting tomorrow, I'm gonna dive into "it" headfirst.

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So my dopamine detox failed. A few hours into the day and I'm already back on my phone watching YouTube. The morning wasn't a complete waste. I spent some time meditating and reading. But beyond that, I'm back consuming content before noon. I just don't know how to handle that feeling of boredom. Even reading was a means of escape from that feeling. I think I need to learn to embrace that feeling, rather than run from it. In my quest to escape from my consumerist lifestyle, I've just dug myself deeper into that hole. I thought I'd take some drastic action this morning and avoid all consumption for the entire day, but I wasn't prepared for that feeling of boredom that hit me like a ton of bricks. And as much as I say I'm gonna embrace that feeling, it's not a pleasant feeling by any means. Even as I'm writing this, I'm not entirely sure what lies in store as I try to break out of my personal Matrix. I want to live a fulfilling life, a life I can be proud of, but the first step is cutting out all the garbage I'm currently indulging in. I want to cut out most, if not all, instant gratification from my life. But it won't be easy. I need to learn to confront the boredom head on. But the way I see it, even sitting around bored as hell is better than continuing to engage in instant gratification. I think after I finish writing this, I'm gonna turn off my devices again and give this dopamine detox thing another crack. Even if it means sitting around doing nothing. At least I'm avoiding the instant gratification I've been drowning in for so long.

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Posted (edited)

I took the plunge and deleted YouTube off my phone. YouTube was the final app keeping me tethered to consumption of content and instant gratification. I justified my usage of it by telling myself I only watched “self-improvement” or “spiritual” videos, but in reality I wasn’t applying anything I learned to my life. Despite what I was watching, it still amounted to mindless consumption. So I got rid of the app.

Now I’m in uncharted territory, because I’ve never not had a source of instant gratification directly at my fingertips. I can still easily access it by re-downloading the app or using another device, but the extra steps I’ve put in place to make it less convenient will dissuade me. This will force me to confront my boredom head on. What will I fill my time with? How will I spend my days? Am I just doomed to give up after a day or two? Only time will tell.

I’m excited and a little bit scared for what happens next. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to handle not having a source of entertainment, or if I’ll just find something else equally as unproductive to do. As I’m writing this, another unproductive idea just popped into my head - binging manga. And I’m not hung up on “productivity” by any means, I just don’t want to lead a life where I’m not regularly making meaningful progress towards my goals. What those goals are remains to be seen for now, but I’m sure I’ll be able to flesh them out with the extra free time I have on my hands.

I’ve just grown tired of living the same mindless life and indulging in the same mindless habits. I want to live a life of purpose. A life where I’m progressing towards my goals every day. And maybe I’m being too extreme with how I go about it, but I’ve always needed to make extreme changes to see any results. Slow and steady doesn’t really work for me. So here I am, with no videos to watch, no games to play, and no feeds to refresh. I hope this is something that will benefit me in the long run and I hope it’s something I can sustain. I’ll keep you all posted.

Edited by Paul A.
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Today was my first full day without social media or YouTube. I didn't really experience any cravings, nor did I feel like I was missing out on anything, which is good. Although a few times, I would go to show someone a video, and realize that I no longer had the YouTube app on my phone. Ah well. Other than that, I spent a good portion of my morning reading, which was pleasant. I also took a rather long nap pretty soon after I woke up, which isn't unusual for me. From there, I went to get a haircut, and upon arriving home I made myself a quick lunch before heading to work. Speaking of work, I had two sales for about $2.3k. Not my greatest day ever, but at least I sold something. I almost finagled my way into a $6k mattress sale, but I think I gave the customer too much time to think about it. This customer did end up buying $1k worth of furniture anyway, but I spent a lot of time with him and I was admittedly pretty disappointed that the time I spent with him only amounted to that much. I plan to give him a call on Friday to gauge his interest.

All in all, today was a pretty good day. Ordinary by all accounts, but like I've mentioned before, ordinary days are the most extraordinary of all. Looking forward to doing it again tomorrow.

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I made the biggest sale of my career today (so far). Two sales for just about $14k (from the same customers). The first ticket was the big one, which clocked in at $11k. The second was about $3k. It's almost surreal to me, and I'm still riding the wave of excitement. My first big ticket! What's more exciting is I feel like I earned the sale through my sales skills. I consistently asked for the sale, and I managed to upsell them on a mattress and adjustable base, which put the ticket over the $10k threshold. The customer service lead of my store even lauded me on my improvement since I arrived, noting how I used to be very unmotivated and lazy (she compared me to a zombie) and how I've changed since then. This just goes to show the power of positive thinking and positive action. I don't think I would've been able to make this sale if not for my commitment to being the best, and the actions I took to get to that point. As of now, I'm currently sitting at second place for the month in terms of net sales, and far and away first place for the week. I'm extremely proud of myself for getting to this point, and I feel like I've hit a big milestone in my journey to become king of the salespeople. Of course, this could just be a freak occurrence, but only time will tell. I'm going to try my hardest to replicate this success week after week. If I can manage just one big ticket like this a week, I'll easily be number one in the store month after month.

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Today was my day off, but I ended up going in anyway for a bit. I didn't make any sales, but I got to spend some time with my coworkers, which is always fun. A couple of them have become my good friends. Other than that, I've spent the day reading manga (Black Clover, specifically) and reading Marcus Aurelius' Meditations. Now that I don't watch YouTube or use social media, I have so much more free time, and reading has quickly become a favorite activity of mine. Reading is one of those things that you take for granted when you're inundated by instant gratification sources such as video games and YouTube. Compared to video games and YouTube videos, which are fast-paced and tailored for short attention spans, reading seems boring in comparison. But when you actually take the time to sit down with a good book, it's quite a pleasant and enjoyable activity. I have a large collection of books that I keep in my headboard bookshelf, so I have plenty of reading material. I'm looking forward to reading even more in the coming days, weeks, and months.

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I’m starting to struggle with PMO again. I try to use mindfulness as a strategy whenever those feelings and cravings start to pop up, but it doesn’t seem to work too well. I’m gonna go back to telling myself that I simply don’t engage in those behaviors. Mindfulness is otherwise a great tool for dealing with anything else.

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Congratulations on being able to make that sale Paul and on your employers remarks about your change in attitude for the better.

And for PMO you could try blockers, limiting places and times were you have access to your phone/pc(EG bedroom at night) , having replace activities to when you feel the cravings come up and trying to study the cravings (where, when, what do I feel when they appear + what are they after (in terms of necessities [boredom, relief...]).

It's what I found helped me most when dealing with it, and may serve as an extra help while dealing with changing the habit.

Edited by Faroe Islander
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My motivation for work has been dwindling. Maybe it’s burnout. When I’m at work, I’m just not as eager as I was before to make sales. And I’m not very keen on dealing with customers either. It’s really draining. The only thing that really keeps me going is getting to hang out with my coworkers. I’ve become good friends with a few of them, and we create a pretty fun work environment. I’m hoping a day off or two will help me get back on track. I’m working tomorrow, but I’m off Tuesday, so I’ll use the day to relax and take it easy.

I’m trying to learn the “secret” to mindfulness. On paper, it seems super easy: paying attention to the present moment. But practically, it’s way harder. What do I do with my mind? Am I supposed to stop thinking? Why can’t I be mindful for more than a few seconds? It’s pretty difficult when I try to actually practice it. I’m trying to incorporate mindfulness into my daily life, but it’s pretty difficult when I don’t know what it is I’m trying to incorporate. Hopefully I can figure it out.

I watched a bit of YouTube last night on my laptop. Funny enough, I was watching videos about mindfulness. I’m really trying to learn more about it. Otherwise, I’ve avoided pretty much all social media and YouTube for a few days now. I think it helps me be more present since I’m not constantly on my phone, but I also end up feeling pretty bored sometimes. I guess that’s to be expected when your brain is wired for instant gratification activities like YouTube and social media. The longer I go without them, the more my brain can rewire itself. I hope that this becomes a long term commitment I can make to myself, and that I can reap the benefits from it.

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I’m gonna start taking meditation and mindfulness a lot more seriously. In fact, it’s almost life or death for me at this point. My sexual compulsions have returned with a vengeance, to the point where I spent money and traveled a long distance to engage in sexual behavior. I’ve had enough of it. It seems like no matter how hard I try, or how long I can go without engaging in any type of sexual activity, it always comes back to bite me. I truly think that if I took meditation and mindfulness more seriously, I’d be able to handle these urges and compulsions as they arise. Right now, I just kind of act on them mindlessly. What I want to foster with mindfulness and meditation is an ability to simply observe what’s going on in my inner and outer world. That way, I can see what’s going on with me before I have a chance to act on it. So starting tomorrow, I’m gonna be waking up earlier, maybe around 6am, to meditate. I’ll probably start with 10 min meditation sessions and work my way up. I’ll also incorporate mindfulness into my day as well, scheduling in time just to tune in to myself and be mindful. And especially so when I feel some sort of sexual urge creeping up on me. I think this is the kind of commitment I need to really make these practices stick, and consequently kick my bad habits for good. I’ve been too inconsistent with them in the past, but it’s time to change that. And I hope these changes will lead to benefits in other areas of my life as well.

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Nothing interesting happened today, which I guess is a good thing. Just work and watching anime. I'm starting Naruto over from the beginning. It's a good show. Beyond that, work was pretty boring. I didn't make any sales. Granted, school is back in session so people aren't coming in as much, but it's discouraging nonetheless. I feel like I've burned out and lost the enthusiasm I had just a while ago. Work is kind of a drag now. Moreover, I'm doubting my own ability to sell. I'm not the most articulate when I speak and I tend to stumble over my words. That, and I don't come across as the most knowledgeable when discussing the furniture, unlike some of my other coworkers. These two factors are creating a lot of self-doubt. I know it's fairly unwarranted because despite everything, I managed to pull off 2nd place for the month, but even so, I think it's a legitimate barrier to the success I want to achieve. But I guess I'll only improve with time and more practice. I'm still fairly new.

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I hope you manage to deal with it well Paul.

If the rest of your life is in order and you try out some new things then the burnout will eventually come to pass and you will regain the ambition to be a good salesman.

My best piece of advice would be to try to get through it and if possible also use this time to evaluate your life and see if the burnout is just a temporary low or a signal that there is something that you are currently missing. 

You have time and you have accomplished many things in your life and work since you started in this forum , I hope you manage to figure this out and continue to if not thrive at least do better than just survive.

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It's been a long few days. I've spent a majority of my weekend working, with another long day ahead of me for Labor Day. What's more, I've lost a good deal of motivation to sell. It's become a chore more than anything, especially since I'm not the most articulate with my speech. I end up stumbling over my words and beating myself up for my lack of communication skills. It's not a very fun experience. I think I'm going to try slowing down my speech and see how that works for me. Beyond that, some coworkers and I managed to take advantage of our new, bonus-geared pay plan, and I was able to max out my bonuses (an additional $1200 in pay) for the pay period. Because of that, I no longer owe the company money, so I should start to see actual commission from my paychecks, which is nice. Granted, if this lack of motivation keeps up, I may not be able to take advantage of this great opportunity to earn more money. But only time will tell.

I'm trying to incorporate mindfulness into my days, but it's not easy. I hardly remember to be mindful, and when I do, it doesn't last very long, only a few minutes at most. What I've found works best is following my breathing in my mind, mentally labeling each inhale as "in" and each exhale as "out". I had a misconception that mindfulness is supposed to be devoid of thought, but a state of utter thoughtlessness is impossible for anyone, let alone me, to maintain. I'm gonna keep trying to be mindful, as well as start to be more consistent with meditation. I haven't managed to actually sit down to meditate since I wrote about my intentions to, but I'm promising myself that I'll make time for it tomorrow, even if only for a few minutes. I think it's especially important since I'm still struggling with PMO. No matter how mindful I try to be, the urges are extremely powerful. I think this mental noting thing will do wonders for me. Whenever I feel a strong urge, I can retreat into my breath until it passes. Other than that, nothing interesting has been going on. I've been watching a lot of Naruto lately, but that's about it. I just hope to see some forward progress with mindfulness, meditation, and my motivation for my job in the coming days.

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