Shine Magical

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Shine Magical last won the day on February 13

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  1. I hiked a lot today. MapleStory 2 was announced to be released later in the US today. I’m going to play it when it comes out (in moderation hopefully). I can’t not try it out, I’ve been wanting to play it for so long.
  2. It’s currently 80F in NYC. First time it’s that warm this year. Weather like this makes me want to play video games.
  3. Today I stretched for 1.5 hours in the sun, which was the highlight of my day. I think I’ve been working out on avg 3 times per week for the past month or so. I’ve also come to the conclusion that I do not want to do fiction writing in my limited spare time. I will focus on making art instead.
  4. I had a nice trip to LA last week. It was my first vacation in 6 months. I’ve been doing a good job exercising with some regularity every 3 days or so, I’m still working on increasing the frequency. I haven’t had much to write in my journal; I’ve been keeping my head down and staying busy.
  5. Today I’m quite happy, the world colorful. I worked on a 5 minute writing exercise this week to start dipping my toes into creative writing. I can’t wait to integrate that into my current watercolor/tea/yoga/exercise/skincare hobbies.
  6. I’ve kept myself SO busy this week. My bf is on a work trip so I’m trying to do a lot of stuff I would normally put on the back burner if he were available. I bought $500 worth of underwear that I will try on to decide which kind I like and then buy a bunch of that same kind. I downloaded a bunch of new K-Pop. I bought new sneakers. I drank a lot tea and worked on the watercolor drawing that’s been in process for 2 months. A lot of personal hygiene stuff, laundry... I wish I could do more, there’s so much I want to do!
  7. What are you selling?
  8. I feel happy today, 9/10. My boyfriend read my entire Gamequitters journal yesterday (for the first time). He said he was surprised that I seemed to be more depressed than he thought. I re-read it as well and actually didn't see it as much that way, but it was interesting to see what he thought. I have my ups and downs, perhaps I have more downs than he does. I wish he had a journal I could read as well, I still have a hard time knowing what he is thinking a lot of the time. What I did see was how much I've grown in the 1.5 years since I've started this journal. I'm very happy about that, and even though progress in real life is much slower than in a video game, when you document it in a journal it puts it into better perspective. In the next few months I will have more nice things to show you, as the investments in my personal development are working and ratcheting upwards. I worked out a nice amount this weekend: I did some pull ups, dips, and squats, and did 1 loop around a pond in Central Park. I saw Black Panther which was a pretty good movie for a super hero themed movie, ate at a few vegan places, had a nice tea workshop with friends and also went to a Japanese tea shop on my own. The tea workshop was my favorite part of the weekend, as I was able to meet another nice person that I clicked with. It's nice to have a slowly expanding group of people that I can connect with. I feel very grateful and appreciative to be able to find such people that I can kindly and warmly connect with even though I don't drink alcohol. Although nothing strong happened over the weekend, I feel like a few things clicked into place and I'm in a good mood now and will be for a time.
  9. I’ve been having a tumultuous 2 weeks. They’ve been emotionally and physically draining. But I’ve done a very good thing. I channeled much of my negativity into water coloring and tea drinking instead of some other worse vice, this time around. Yes, I did binge on drinking tea and I am a just bit sleep deprived and have a small caffeine withdrawal but I am much more pleased with this than the other alternatives.
  10. I feel a bit better today, the sun is starting to rise. I was feeling stronger emotions yesterday because my boyfriend wasn't here on Valentine's day and he also didn't make any big attempt to make me feel special. In his mind, we will just celebrate on a different day which I do not think about it in the same way but also I am not so upset about it either since I did not do a grand gesture for him either. This wasn't the year to do so. I have a massage planned for tonight, then I am having tea with my friend tomorrow night, and then he is also going to come over on Saturday afternoon so we can have another tea session. I'm trying to keep myself busy and I'm doing a good job keeping myself in check. I've spent a lot of time attending to personal hygiene these past few days -- I'm probably as good looking as I can naturally be at the moment.
  11. Today is Valentine’s Day. My boyfriend is in LA this week so he’s not here with me today. That’s ok as it’s allowing me to start decompressing what happened. I’m starting to feel more betrayed and angry and anxious about what happened last week, which is good because I will be able to get these strong feelings out of my system so that I can be in a happier place mentally when bf comes back. When I’m around him I just want to be happy: a) so that we can move on b) because it will be a downer on a good time c) because I don’t want to bring much attention to it on a regular basis. I’m essentially doing a “fake it until you make it” approach but I’m not so much faking it I am just trying to sort out my feelings in private. It’s a complex situation to assess and break down. I’m trying to think of something appropriate we can do together to celebrate that will say “well we just nearly broke up but we’re trying to get back to normal and I still feel weird about it but you seem to be ok now and so we’re going to do this activity that reflects these unsure feelings for me that also have deep hope inside them as well.” lol!
  12. I sold my $5000 gaming computer on Craigslist for $1000. I did it because I didn’t want to deal with shipping.
  13. Maybe you should sell the computer now that you have a laptop. I’ve had to do a lot of that kind of shuffling around before I started to get happy and feel like the things I own suit me.
  14. I’m awarding myself 1 point for being open. Shining Heart Goals: Initiate conversations with 10 people I haven't spoken to. Progress: 4/10 Be open with 10 people about things I would normally be embarrassed or self conscious about. Progress: 4/10 The relationship with my boyfriend appears to be better than before. We seem to be on the same page now. I hope this feeling continues into the future, as right now it’s almost like we’re dating from day 1 a little bit but not really which feels a little weird but also refreshing. However, it was extremely shocking to think that I would have to move out of our apartment. I was not prepared to hear or do that. I was too optimistic about our future and was really caught off guard! I don’t like to think of a worst case scenario but I will be better prepared if a next one comes along. It was scary to not feel safe with someone I thought I would always feel safe with. He did admit that he should have handled the situation differently and that I had surprised him by being so rational and mature about the situation and the resulting conversation. I told him not to underestimate me!! I’m serious about being in love. After all, I’m really picky and I picked him to be my partner.