Simon E

I second that. Good job on that month - one third of the detox completed. This'll be no problem for you. Also nice to see the blog is going well; I think it's important for a writer to have somewhere to write publicly.

@flingaas I'm way ahead of you man I finished S3 of the 100 as soon as it came out, lol (Clarke is so friggin badass, oh my). I've read the book too, but the storyline there isn't quite the same as in the series. I appreciate your suggestion anyways! I'll warn you that season 3 kinda goes crazy, but it's still definitely worth watching.

Man. I really enjoy reading your journal - you have a smooth way with words, and interesting thoughts and experiences. It's nice to find another aspiring writer; I'm also working on a novel, one I hope will launch a lifelong career (cause what better use of ones time is there than isolating onself in their room to make up stories?) Will keep following your journal. Good luck with everything!

Welcome to the club! Don't let that book lie waiting for any longer. Good luck - you got this man.

@Paul A. Thank you, man! Now I just have to live up to that respect... I'm an all or nothing kind of guy, so statements like these usually fit me the best. If there's any ambiguity/unclarity about how much time I'm allowed to waste, these voices emerge from somewhere within the darkest places of my mind, whispering: You've worked hard today, you deserve to relax or just one more episode, it's fine or all your friends play games and watch series, why shouldn't you be allowed to aswell? I usually listen to them, which I'm not proud of. Hence why I'm not even giving them a chance to speak this time. I'm interested to see if it's possible to live a life where you ONLY spend time on productive tasks - no couch, no computer etc. Will I burn out, or will I come alive? That's what I'm about to find out. @WorkInProgress Thank you! Yeah, you wrote that before - your post served as inspiration for my decision, to some degree. (I realize for myself that it's for the best.) Now I'm off to (hopefully) get a shitload of stuff done. If all things work out, I'll report back in the evening, look this journal in the eyes, and proudly say I managed to be productive.

Welcome aboard the ship, @Nancy S.! I'm also recovering from the disease called League of Legends, so I can relate strongly to what you're saying. The better you get at that game, the harder it is to let it go, since it becomes such a huge part of your identity. The champs you're playing, your playstyle, your ranking, your social circle - these things get so entangled with your identity that you can't picture being someone without the game. But it seems like you were sucessful in quitting, and that's so awesome to hear. Really. It's awesome. I believe we get shaped, or hardened if you'd like, by our experiences - like steel forged in iron, like broken bones growing stronger after healing. It sounds like you have had quite a rough time; moving to a foreign country, the addiction, the lonliness. It also sounds like you are quite a brilliant person; getting to diamond in league isn't the easiest thing, and finishing with a GPA of 3.97 is pretty decent insanely good. This day is the beginning of the rest of your life, and I believe you can make something great out of it, in part thanks to the tough experiences you've gone through. The hardships have granted you something other people doesn't have. Embrace it. You've been able to quit gaming. What could possibly stop you now? Again, welcome. We've got your back. And good luck (if you need it).

Day 46: Another day of gathering momentum, kinda? No time wasted on stupid shit though, and that's a sucess. Really tired so this will be a short input (one that actually is short, for once). Hope you're all well.

Snow!!!!! *intense feelings of jealousy appear*

Day 45: Midway point reached! This is now officially my second most sucessful attempt at quitting gaming - soon it'll be the #1 attempt. I know that for certain now. I will be free. It's been a busy day today; spent some time with friends. Considering how unsocial I get if I'm allowed to, this was a good thing. It did result in not as much writing and drawing as I would have liked though, but hey, it's fine. Also, I made the tough decision late at night yesterday: I will not watch any more TV, netflix or youtube at all for the remainder of my detox. (Youtube is allowed if the video serves as improvement to my life, but no dumb shit.) It is time to shift gears, it is time to up the pace. Rereading the slight edge (together with a bunch of other stuff happening) has made me feel like I'm capable of almost anything, but my dreams won't work unless I do. It is completely normal to crash in the couch and waste a few hours every now and then. It is completely normal to waste some time here and there, to choose junkfood over the healthy alternative a couple times a month, to spend some money on something you not really want once in a while. These are all perfectly normal excuses - but if you use normal excuses you will also get normal results. You can't do the same actions as everyone else and somehow expect you will end up somewhere better than them. If you want to achieve something extraordinary, you have to be extraordinary. That's what I'm aiming for. It is time to take life to the next level. These first 45 days served as the warmup - now it is time for the real business. Time to sleep. Night, people. What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?

Great job starting your journal! If you've had problems being consistent with writing in the past, try make a habit to come here and write at the end of every day - letting go of your thoughts, experiences, feelings before sleep. I'm interested in following your journey. Good luck!

Day 44: 1 day til' the midway point, wohoo! I'm still struggling with Gotham, but I limited myself to only three episodes today, yay, gj me, *pat on the back*. Seriously though, that's still three episodes too many. Atleast I'll soon be done with the season, and then I may be able to find closure. My plan is that, after this, I won't spend any time, at all, during the rest of my detox watching netflix/youtube/tv. At all. So basically, the binging I do now is the last in more than a month. That makes it slightly more justifiable. The remaining time of today I was pretty productive. Been writing more on the novel - I'm still planning though. Yeah, it sounds like I'm one slow dude, but I want to know what I'm doing before I begin. It's amazing though how all these ideas pop out of nowhere. I'm literally chocked by plot twists made up of my own brain, haha. I like that. I honestly think this is going to work out. Telling people I want to become an author may come off as naive and silly, but I feel more and more like there is actual substance behind the statement now. I can picture in front of my eyes how it would feel to walk into a bookstore and see my book being sold there. The thought is thrilling. All in all, things are going well. I'm still building momentum; I've achieved a consistency in my actions that I havent experienced before, really. My only enemy right now is the binge-watching, but that'll come to and end in a few days. Then I'm ready for anything, really. Have a good night/day everyone. The question isn't who is going to let me. The question is who is going to stop me.

+1 I use coach.me, and it's working nicely. Pretty minimalistic, but I like that. Give it a try!

Welcome aboard, Jani. Don't apologize for your wall of texts - stick that chin out and be proud of them (I also have a tendency of writing too much lol). It's immensely helpful to put your thoughts on paper, where they can no longer hurt you. I recommend you head over and start a journal right away! Good luck

Day 43: Emotions are fleeting, fickle things, and yet they are so powerful. What is their purpose? Cause oh yeah, they have a purpose. Everything that doesn't have a purpose gets eliminated by natural selection, right? The reason for love and sexual attraction is obvious: to make us have sex and guarantee the survival of our genes. But apart from that, why do we feel anger, hatred, anxiety, sadness? Is an individual with feelings superior to one that lacks them? Feeling terrible sadness for days after finishing a great story, does that benefit you? Getting angry enough to hit someone else, does that improve your life? Being scared of talking to other people enough so that you isolate yourself, does that hep you? One might argue that our feelings is what makes us human, but alot of the time, feelings are our flaws, our faults. Wouldn't we be better without them? Ofcourse emotions can be great things - love, joy, excitement - but if you flip the coin and look at the darker side? "But we wouldn't be able to appreciate the good ones without having experienced the bad ones." Is that true, or is it something we say because we know we will never be free from the bad ones, and so we pretend to be in control? Perhaps in the future, humans will be incapable of feeling hatred, anxiety, anger. Perhaps such a world would prove to be a better place. I'm free from school these days, and so I read, write and watch series. This does stir up alot of emotions, something I do not resist; in fact, I usually embrace them, explore them, lose myself in them. To feel is, for me, to be alive. It does make me think though. The sole purpose of art, and more specifically writing, is to evoke feelings in the consumer. This revelation made me reevaluate what I do as a writer; I'm going to play with the feelings of my audience. Not in a nonchalant way, but in a tender one. I will make them laugh, cry, gasp, ache. See, hear, smell. Feel. I'm going to seduce them, trick them, lead them where I want them to go. I'll be the puppetmaster, and they will the puppets. This probably sounds creepy as hell, but I like the picture it paints in my minds. If our feelings are what makes us human, then art speaks to our very humanity. The detox is going well. I do watch too much of Gotham, but I just can't seem to stop - it's so damn good. I will finish this season before I stop and get on with my life. I know that's dumb and a waste of my time, but IDC. I will give myself this one. That's it for today. Hope y'all are having a good day. What do you call a person who hears voices inside their head? A writer.

Day 42: I've finally gotten my hands on the book - the Midnight Star - and so, I've done nothing else than read today. It's so damn good. About to watch a movie now, before headin to sleep, so this'll be a short report. @WorkInProgress I want to thank you for your words. It's easy to forget that I, a couple months ago, wasted 3-5 hours everyday playing video games, that I went to sleep every night with a black churning anger in my chest. I need to remind myself of what an accomplishment this is, how much brighter my world is now compared to how it were before. If I was able to quit gaming, I'm capable of anything. Also, about the series. I keep telling myself that I watch Gotham not mindlessly as usual, that it's better than most other things I've been able to get my hands on. I tell myself that I'm watching it for the sake of the story, and not because I'm looking for escape or killing time. I might be partially right; it is really good. But I'd rather make my own life better. Atleast that should be the main focus. In addition to that, it feels dumb to quit watching it now, when I'm that far into the season - but I know this is just another version of the sunk cost fallacy. I still have about 12 hours worth of episodes left; that's alot of time. Valuable time. I might be easy on myself about this, since I'm free from school now, for a week. But after Gotham, I'm done with that shit. Whoops. Short report, huh? Have a good night, guys. It is no measurement of good health to be well adjusted to a sick society

Since I train krav maga (which involves sparring and sporadic blows to the head), I've also been worried about this. When doing some research I was able to conclude that the light hits you sustain when sparring in safe circumstances puts you at no risk of permanent head injuries, really. I mean, look at all the professional mma-fighters and boxers out there, that takes serious blows to the head over and over. I know some of them get permanent brain damage, but far from the majority. Then compare what they do to what you do when training. It shouldn't be dangerous at all. This doesn't keep my from feeling slightly uneasy though, but you're right about how we're not these fragile things to be put away. "A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor." However, if you feel weird at all, you're right about taking a break. That's just my two cents - hope it goes well!

Day 41: You know the part where I wrote I wouldn't watch more of Gotham? Yeaaah... Scratch that. I may or may not have spent like 6 hours today binging on Gotham. Heh. A slight misstep. I will attempt to stop myself from repeating that one, but my chances of sucess might be low. We'll see. Haven't written today, was unfocused in school, didn't exercise as planned... Etc. Yay. Atleast I didn't game, right? (Am I allowed to be happy for that, or is that the norm now?) About that (it's kinda relevant, since this a game-quitting forum after all); I haven't felt any cravings at all in a really long time. They disappeared together with my fancy vow to not consume any league-related content at all. It's pretty amazing. "Burn all bridges to the ground and watch the wind carry away the ashes" - how to quit gaming. Also, @WorkInProgress Thank you! I don't know if I would call what I do "rocking", but whatever it is, I'll keep doing it! @Reno F I haven't actually read that one, but I've heard quite alot about it, so I'll put it on my ever-growing list of books I wanna read. Sorry for this rambling, inconsistent post; in addition to everything else I've failed today, I'm way past my bedtime. (There's krav maga practise pretty early tomorrow, yay). Tomorrow I'll be better than I was today. Life is what's happening while we are waiting for life to happen

Day 40: Boy does it feel good writing that number, I don't know why. Or maybe I do know; in 5 days this will be my second longest attempt in staying away from gaming, and in 13 days, this will be longest period of time I've EVER abstained from gaming, since I started, that is. It's an exhilarating thought. (It may sound rather pathetic, but hey. It's something *insert meme here*) I'd have to say today was a sucess. Got back the chemistry test I did on tuesday: all answers were correct. That gives me an A in this chemistry course. Booyah! Now I just have 9 more to go, 9 courses in which I have to perform flawlessly during the last 8 months of school. Don't ask my why, lol. When I came home I kinda landed in the couch and watched "Gotham" for two hours (I rewatched two episodes from S1. It's a really good series, tbh. Dark, interesting, multi-dimensional). It wasn't part of the plan, but I'd have to say it was justified. (Not something that's allowed to happen again, though). Now I need to get my lazy ass to do my dailies. @Reno F Also, thanks for your input. I should actually really treat my life like a game a lot more; as something exciting, something free. When playing a game, you do not avoid doing certain quests because you're afraid your friends will laugh at you for doing them, or because it's against the social norm in your guild. You do everything, bravely and with great curiousity - you're looking to get the most out of the experience as you possible can, without letting anything hold you back. That's it for today. Time go fight against my natural nemesis - the blank sheet of paper. *gasp* I know, he is indeed one fearsome creature. It's absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious Yes, I'm having a crush on Oscar Wilde. Don't judge

Day 39: Just a quick report - nothing really new has happened today. The fact that I repeat that sentence quite alot may be a hint of something being off, lol. I'm really focused on my habits, my "daily quests" if you wish, and as a result that part is going great at the moment - I'm making progress every day. But I feel, maybe I should try out new stuff also? Leaving my chill zone of comfort for once (the thought gives me shivers). IDK, it's something to consider in the future. Every day is an opportunity to do the things you've never done before. A day isn't just a day; it's a fresh set of hours and minutes that are never coming back once they're gone. They have the potential of being the same as the previous thousands, or something new, something unique. A pounding heart, a bright laughter. Seeing the world in a new way. Becoming someone else - become more. All time is created equal, and all time is equally valuable. The seconds you waste now are fundamentally the same as the seconds during which you one day breathe your last breath. It's an idea I have to establish in my head. Nothing matters actually, except being happy, being excited. People's opinions, traditions, social rules, your definition of who you are and what you can do - it's all abstract. Oxygen is literally more tangible than all of those things. They are NOTHING. Let them crash into you like water collides with a cliff - just shake it off. ^ talking to myself. That's it. Love to you guys - you are amazing. Everyone's amazing. We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. *psst* let's create a heaven for ourselves, eh? Let's become our own gods.

That sounds awesome. As someone with no siblings I'm slightly jealous of the idea; it sounds kinda cozy. A good way of exchanging and discovering new litterature too.

Day 38: Another day in the life of me. Chemistry test went well (I think. Which means it probably went to shit). Got some graded stuff back, and next week we are free from school. Things are going well. I've been following the snowflake method for my novel lately (trusting the advice of my fellow JSmith), and I like it. I really believe in the idea of having everything sorted out before entering the treacherous swamp that is the first draft. You do not walk into a swamp without a map and supplies, right? Considering I life a perfectly comfortable and spoiled life in a safe city in a safe country I've been allowing myself to worry about a number of ridiculous things lately (what else am I going to do with all my time, am I right?). Since I like so many things - writing, drawing, the guitar, the piano, martial arts, sciences - I've been wondering if I'm spreading my time and energy too thin. Ideally, I would want to become very proficient at all of those things, but is that even possible? Should I narrow down my interests and focus on one or two things, lest I want to end up as a jack of all trades, master of none? IDK, it's a silly problem, really, and it doesn't bother me all that much. I will just keep trying to do all the things I want to; maybe I'll eventually grow out of something. I will keep gathering momentum, doing nothing more and nothing less than a number of slightly positive actions each day. It'll work out. Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future

Welcome back! Your thoughts about actions changing the world are true, and it's a mighty realization to have. (If you've ever heard about chaos theory, you know what I'm talking about. Even if that theory isn't necessarily true, but hey - it's cool) Also, nice to hear you've having "normal" experiences. If being happy requires being normal, would you sacrifice your identity as abnormal? Would you prefer being depressed and, therefore, unique? (I know, everyone's unique, blah blah, you know what I mean. Really unique.) I think there's a certain kind of beauty in sadness, anger - darkness overall. I personally do not agree with the notion that the purpose of life is to be constantly happy and at peace with everyone else. But I'm not sure. (Sorry for ranting on your journal >.>) It's awesome to see the way you've changed since before our travels aswell; it's crystal clear in the way you write. And you're so close to 90 days! #hype I've been trying my best to spam the shit out of the forum, but I'm just one man (boy? Thing with a conscience?). Good to have you back in the tribe (idiots are welcome too )

Welcome to the club! You're with the cool kids now I'm glad you're here. I had trouble quitting a very long time, and I never managed to, but since I signed up and began writing here, everything has been so much easier. Journaling + the support of a community are of tremendous help. These first days/weeks you should simply appreciate yourself for making the desicion. Begin looking for new activities to fill up your time with (try anything and everything - you never know what you'll like), but don't be too harsh on yourself if things are hard or boring. That's natural, and it will change over time. Good job "powering off", and good luck with the following days!

Day 37: I feel like a small ball of snow, rolling, one inch at a time. I'm rolling, and rolling, and rolling... One day I will wake up as an avalanche. Nothing special to report today; I'm just gathering momentum (I can truly feel it, as if it were something concrete, something tangible). I'm in dire need of sleep, since it's time for the last chemistry test tomorrow (last one for this chemistry course atleast). I need to be as sharp as possible. The future is looking bright. We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars

Day 36: One thing dawned on me today. I want to feel in control of my life. I do not want to be ruled over by distractions, time wasting, mood swings (even though I strongly believe the purpose of life isn't constant happiness - there's true beauty in pain and sadness too. Something to be treasured). I want to end every day feeling like I have made meaningful progress, like I have improved my life, only if ever so slightly. I will achieve this by: scheduling my week and, to a lesser degree, my days. Also I will keep reading 10 pages from the Slight Edge every day, more to get into the right mindset than to aquire knowledge per se. I will prioritize the following (in order of importance): My writingMy studyingMy drawingMy guitar-playingMy exerciseThat's it. Every moment is a decision; will you do something that improves your life, or will you do something that detroys it? Will you invest the time at hand, or will you kill it? Will you be living, or will you be dying? Let's choose life, people.